arshi ff: without you... thread #1, chapters 1-13 **completed**

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binimoti

@binimoti

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#511

yipee the update is here

Wow that was so unexpected Arnav waking up from coma, or it was a dream

Well continue soon,

Love this story

Edited by binimoti - 12 years ago

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#512

Originally posted by: bs_deeps
🤗 wow..that was one beautiful chapter..how can you write like this..the way you described ASR's features, you should know I'd faint every time I read..I dont know how much time you took to write but it looked to me as if you have just written with ease, you've written what was in your mind, no second thoughts, no edits..you played with each and every word...

I got to read it again..

awww, dips. 😳

you know how it is when we describe a certain man's this that and even the other. thanks, dear girl, for that lovely comment. i took a while to write, but mainly because i was trying to see the chapter in my head. had to fit right.

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nishu_shorna

@nishu_shorna

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#513

Khushi is so strong...such a huge will force...6 weeks...still she is talking to him...telling him everything,except about Shyam...she did slip...she is talking to her Arnav ji afterall...how come she hide something...beautifully written...
Then the past...they met again...Khushi in red...Arnav in black...their eye lock...wow...
OMG...he wake up...really...mera dream toh nahi naa...pinch me plz...I just loved it...
Continue soon...thanks for the pm...

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#514

^^^ hi nishu_shorna,

thanks for reading, liking, and feeling the story. dream toh nahin that? 😆 sorry, i kept him in coma soo long. and yes, khushi is a crazily strong woman, sometimes even she ha=s no idea how strong. i find in her sanaka a weapon against terrible reality... so thought she would use it to somehow nudge him a bit, get him to listen.

will pm bext update... hoping to do one soon.

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Mysticaldivine

@Mysticaldivine

Stunner

+ 10

Posted: 12 years ago

#515

Yes Yes Yes ...He is back...

Thnx Indi for this gift in the morning.Love you for that.

Khushi and her dialogues brought tears to my eyes...each word pierces my heart though whenever she is in convulsion she talks non-stop and you kept that ..so cute..

Green and yellow saree...the discussion on the thread over 14 pages landed in your story and brought a smile on my face...Everything is so connected now...

You got me here......⭐️

"i know i love to talk... mujh se chup nahin raha jata... that whether you talk or not i will go on... but that doesn't mean you just keep quiet, say nothing... it's been almost 45 days you know, i can't bear to not hear from you for a second... and it's been more than six weeks... chhai hafte, he devi maiyya... i don't know about coma shoma, okay, now you talk to me... if i'd done this to you how would you feel? haan? what the, what the karte rahtein aap!!... i know i am strong," a little sob escaped unnoticed..." you make me strong... and... and i am pretty strong anyway, but phir bhi... is this fair...?" the tears were streaming down her face by now, her voice grew louder, angrier, completely in love, "enough! if you won't talk to to me, i will also not speak with you, and because you are being so stubborn, arnav singh raizada, i will also be akdoo, like you, i will also go away... bas."

Just love it each word here...⭐️

I adored that scene when he holds her dupatta..ja rahi ho...thnx for that touch...

Thnx Indi for such a write up...😊

Edited by ArshiHamesha - 12 years ago

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Omoraboti

@Omoraboti

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#516

Will be back after reading.

Back! 😊

I read the chapter and kept saying .. wordsmith. 😊

We know his features by heart, Di. But the way you have chosen to show him through Khushi's eyes... was breathtaking. And Khushi's monologue or conversation with her husband .. in whichever way you put it .. was astounding.

I really like the way you have kept the story similar to IPK .. giving us a feeling it is just something that could have been post Mrs. India win .. but also have twisted the incidents in your own way .. and still the feeling is the same.

A young boy in a new pretty space .. ah! The world he never knew .. the world she once introduced to him .. he misses it .. and he will go back there .. beautifully put!

Is he back? "Ja rahi ho .." and the tug at her pallu ... my heart is at my throat right now .. will not be able to rest till you let us know more.

PS: I am so happy that my real lame edit gave you something to write this chapter .. I feel .. honored. 😊

Edited by Omoraboti - 12 years ago

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IssK.

@IssK.

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#517

That ended in perfection! I can still feel the tremor inside as i write this!! Very beautiful, all the interweaving, the leitmotifs of chiffon, the beautiful brown eyes and the quivering lips..

That meeting in the garden... and the association from khush to khushi was awesome 👏 It really moved me. It had to be that meeting to bring him back to life...i remember posting a comment to one of your updates of this, and wondering in it if he would connect with Ma in his unconsciousness. And he did here, i was so happy to discover...that too as a boy which was a really wonderful, natural way to work it. And it led him to his Khushi...Wow.. It all came together rather brilliantly!!

Great work, Indi. Welcome back! I'm so ready for more!!

And that picture you use, your friend's edit, simply divine.

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#518

Originally posted by: ArshiHamesha
Yes Yes Yes ...He is back...

Thnx Indi for this gift in the morning.Love you for that.
Khushi and her dialogues brought tears to my eyes...each word pierces my heart though whenever she is in convulsion she talks non-stop and you kept that ..so cute..

Green and yellow saree...the discussion on the thread over 14 pages landed in your story and brought a smile on my face...Everything is so connected now...

You got me here......⭐️

"i know i love to talk... mujh se chup nahin raha jata... that whether you talk or not i will go on... but that doesn't mean you just keep quiet, say nothing... it's been almost 45 days you know, i can't bear to not hear from you for a second... and it's been more than six weeks... chhai hafte, he devi maiyya... i don't know about coma shoma, okay, now you talk to me... if i'd done this to you how would you feel? haan? what the, what the karte rahtein aap!!... i know i am strong," a little sob escaped unnoticed..." you make me strong... and... and i am pretty strong anyway, but phir bhi... is this fair...?" the tears were streaming down her face by now, her voice grew louder, angrier, completely in love, "enough! if you won't talk to to me, i will also not speak with you, and because you are being so stubborn, arnav singh raizada, i will also be akdoo, like you, i will also go away... bas."

Just love it each word here...⭐️
I adored that scene when he holds her dupatta..ja rahi ho...thnx for that touch...

Thnx Indi for such a write up...😊

hi arshi,

i am so happy to see you here and sounding like you had a good time. khushi is a crackpot jhalli utterly sweet girl who will grow and evolve fabulously i am sure. the good in her is of a rare pure sort, her irritating bits just complete a sketch and make her human. i hope i always do her justice. thanks for every word of yours.

and of course the yellow green saree had to come here, she's dilli ki auto after all. 😆😆

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#519

Originally posted by: IssPKaur
That ended in perfection! I can still feel the tremor inside as i write this!! Very beautiful, all the interweaving, the leitmotifs of chiffon, the beautiful brown eyes and the quivering lips..

That meeting in the garden... and the association from khush to khushi was awesome 👏 It really moved me. It had to be that meeting to bring him back to life...i remember posting a comment to one of your updates of this, and wondering in it if he would connect with Ma in his unconsciousness. And he did here, i was so happy to discover...that too as a boy which was a really wonderful, natural way to work it. And it led him to his Khushi...Wow.. It all came together rather brilliantly!!

Great work, Indi. Welcome back! I'm so ready for more!!

And that picture you use, your friend's edit, simply divine.

hi issk,

thoughts were running through the head, he had to meet maa somewhere for him to return, somehow his connection with her had to have some play here... just an instinct and i remember you saying that too, but nothing was gelling, bits and fragments and snapshots of scenes. till i saw that edit by farha... strange how it guided my thoughts. i saw khushi sitting by him, talking, touching him, at one point i even thought she was shaving his stubble with great care, then something said, nah... corny... and he would hate it... don't ask me why.

thrilled you enjoyed. it was a tricky one... my nonexistent knowledge of things medical didn't help matters... i am happy it worked out. these two characters are so fabulous and real i wouldn't want mar them in anyway, if anything i want them alive and kicking in our thoughts and giving us dhak dhalks forever.

hopefully next chapter coming soon.