arshi ff: without you... thread #1, chapters 1-13 **completed**

First Previous

Page

109

Next Last

Frequent Posters

indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#131

Originally posted by: sisgeo
beautifully written

hi sisego,

thanks so much.

Quote

coolbakes_Jalad

@Lifeistooshort

Voyager

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

#132

Originally posted by: indi52
^^^ hi coolbakes,

thanks, and tell me, are you a doc? really?

gah, if i have glaring errors in my tale, please do do let me know. so happy you read though in tearing rush. see ya soon. and yes that 12 year old prim one is mine.

yeah i am a doc 😃 no no don worry!!! will read through perfectly and reply again!! but your too perfect that i wonder i would find any mistakes!!

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#133

^^^ thanks, doc

you are sweet. no idea about medical terms... but i'll try not to sound too ridiculous. take care.

Quote

BarunDiwani

@BarunDiwani

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#134

Un-reswa !

mmmuuuwwwaaa mmmuuuwaaa mmmuuuwaaa

and you know what those are for!! i'll be honest, before i finally read it, i cuaght a few comments that gave away the best surprise, but it gave me courage to read the rest and take a few more kisses b/c this is simply a wonderful story. Love your version of their first meeting, and how you kept the essentials the the same...i mean she had to fall on him from up above somewhere right😆?? and how you kept her first day attire the same👏 complete with sneakers, always loved that part!!

Special props for mentioning the man's physique😳 and sending me off the dreamland.

the protective ASR on the first day also a nice touch and the closure with her protecting him, splendid!! reminds me of that scene in the kitchen when faints.

My personal favorite part that i was praying for was how she held his hand to her heart, a few more chummbas for that!!!

feels like a load ofs shoulders, i know i know he's not completely out of danger, but this was enough to have me dancing for joy!!

Love how you've ended the story with the nurse and the Dr...so to be certain the two times his vital signs were strong is when he sent her his mehsoos and when she held his hand to his heart ? correct me if i'm wron pleeej!!

def looking fwd to the next!!

Edited by BarunDiwani - 12 years ago

Quote

.Brooke.

@.Brooke.

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#135

indi di 🤗 for a qiuck update.

First of all what a pic to start the chapter 2.

Simply amazing.

Like Khushi I also do not want to hear those unfamiliar words

but you described the scene very well.

Then first meeting,in Shesh Mahal,in bridal dress

but in the pool.

Till date I love the pool beside ASR room but now I

also faraq this massive pool.

Very written chapter.Story is going smoothly

and keeping the interest value intact.

Yes the dharken ek ho jati scene was fabulous.

Thanks for pm.

Cheers!

Edited by ...SaRun... - 12 years ago

Quote

IssK.

@IssK.

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#136

Oh Indi! I loved it to bits. You have written with so much tenderness...and there are so many beautiful touches. Right from ar...nav...ji : that really IS like the first drops of rain for parched times.

You braved yourself all the way into that chilling hospital room, didn't you? You stood there and you felt it. Focusing on unfamiliar yet almost banal details without intending to, is an integral part of being there, I know too. And each time you get blurred with a wave of thought, just like Khushi does so naturally, the eye catches something in the room, processes it slowly, and you are back to reality. It is a remarkable, insightful observation 👏

On a more buoyant note, I loved seeing him in the pool. It's been long due, so thank you. A sight for sore eyes, I say. Neatly splicing the surface, you said? That is too sexy. Trust Khushi to barge in on a moment that could've lasted a lifetime...
But then again, can we blame her? Especially in those sneakers? 🤗

And finally, Anjali's memory of Maa on the ventilator is so organic, and so inherent to the story...that I wonder if Arnav, deep in sleep, between life and death, encounters her memory too, in a parallel universe... I had the thought as soon as i saw him in your words, between hard white sheets, his beautiful face closed to the world...

Please give him that square cushion next time, won't you?

Quote

Cynthia Abruzzo DeSiena

@cinthiann1758

Inactive

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#137

My dearest Indi,

Absolutely wonderful! Love the pool and the laps, I can just picture our Arnavji and all his muscles/glory in his little speedo's (very European not American), slashing through the pool like a knife. I love to watch the swimming events at the Olympics so I am now substituting Arnav for Michael. This would be something that I would expect from him; rising early, swimming his laps, clearing his mind for the day!

Love the flashback of how he met Kushi, just brilliant and when she placed his still lifeless hand to her chest I had tears in my eyes. He will come back to her, He must for their is no Kushi without Arnav and vice versa.

Continue your brilliant writing I look forward to it always and tell Estair we look forward to her input!

👏xo Cyn

Quote

indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#138

Originally posted by: ArshiHamesha
👏👏👏 way to go Indi ,What a start...for rocking me at the edge first.
Love the meeting style in their eternal heaven[pool side]

Possessiveness and protectiveness from the beginning just like first epi right in his arms...fabulous⭐️

Khushi's fears and fighting back mode finding him like that and thinking positive ...too good.must say "hand Sanitizer" touch is mind blowing⭐️⭐️⭐️ explains and connects so many angles...at that moment you can think and can take this any where if you are at Khushi's place

Again spending too much time in hospital with Mom was not a good experience and brought a lot in my mind...

Take a bow..love it❤️

thanks, arshi 🤗

you know, this fan fiction thing is such a challenge... how to make people created by others who have a huge place in every fan's heart and mind, become your own yet stay the way they are. tough. but i have to say i am enjoying it, so thanks to everyone who said i should give it a try.

ok, that hand sanitizer and the ventilator pipe come from my mother's cubicle in the critical care unit, one of the most heartless places on earth. everything is weird there, and then the doctor's phone rings loudly in a silent zone and the tune is "kya hua tera vada," the blackest bleakest humour.

so glad you liked.

i know you and wiwy have had enough of hospitals, will try and get him out of there soon. promise.

Quote

indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#139

Originally posted by: ...SaRun...
indi di 🤗 for a qiuck update.

First of all what a pic to start the chapter 2.

Simply amazing.

Like Khushi I also do not want to hear those unfamiliar words

but you described the scene very well.

Then first meeting,in Shesh Mahal,in bridal dress

but in the pool.

Till date I love the pool beside ASR room but now I

also faraq this massive pool.

Very written chapter.Story is going smoothly

and keeping the interest value intact.

Yes the dharken ek ho jati scene was fabulous.

Thanks for pm.

Cheers!

lizzie,

thank you for faraqing this pool. actually i want to give him a big pool in the shantivan lawns and a jacuzzi in that little pool by the bed room. that might be fun. 😳 khushi is a strong girl, i feel, she will do pretty magnificently in this scenario. so you liked the dhadkan scenes? thank you. see you when i update. 😳

Quote

indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#140

Originally posted by: IssPKaur
Oh Indi! I loved it to bits. You have written with so much tenderness...and there are so many beautiful touches. Right from ar...nav...ji : that really IS like the first drops of rain for parched times.

You braved yourself all the way into that chilling hospital room, didn't you? You stood there and you felt it. Focusing on unfamiliar yet almost banal details without intending to, is an integral part of being there, I know too. And each time you get blurred with a wave of thought, just like Khushi does so naturally, the eye catches something in the room, processes it slowly, and you are back to reality. It is a remarkable, insightful observation 👏

On a more buoyant note, I loved seeing him in the pool. It's been long due, so thank you. A sight for sore eyes, I say. Neatly splicing the surface, you said? That is too sexy. Trust Khushi to barge in on a moment that could've lasted a lifetime...
But then again, can we blame her? Especially in those sneakers? 🤗

And finally, Anjali's memory of Maa on the ventilator is so organic, and so inherent to the story...that I wonder if Arnav, deep in sleep, between life and death, encounters her memory too, in a parallel universe... I had the thought as soon as i saw him in your words, between hard white sheets, his beautiful face closed to the world...

Please give him that square cushion next time, won't you?

hi isspkaur,

thanks for that lovely post. remember that mazhar scene where he is walking in in all black, white handkerchief on head, remote eyes, face inert? i could watch that scene forever... just as i could watch those arms moving and a back glistening through each of those 40 (please more) laps nonstop. alas, girl had to her thing. the only thing i missed in that scene was khushi checking him out... hmmm kuch kareka padi as it is said around here.

so glad you liked the hospital scene. it was tough to write... make it real yet keep it light... every time i add a chapter i realise it isn't easy to write a popular serial... very very tough.

see you next update, and one nice square cushion coming up. 😃