Blast from the Past Thread #10, pg 45, epi 113 - Page 103

Originally posted by: indi52

boishakh and sravan are months. boishakh usually falls in april may and sravan is july august. tagore's birthday is on 25 (poncheeshe) boishakh 1861 and he passed away on 22 (baishe) sravan 1941.

i used to read gitanjali madly at one time. sometimes the bangla would elude me, so english translation. equally stunning. i can quite see why it had to get the nobel.

and his geetabitan, often next to my bed, for a while used to learn a stanza a day to keep dementia away... obviously lunacy never left me. i know nothing about tagore in a formal conscious way... it's all memories. environment. 78 rpm records, ma humming, certain songs part of me without understanding much, a lot of tagore in my life when i was a child. dancing to his momo chitte or kothao amar or that favourite... gram chhara dressed as a baul singer ha ha, as usual father wanted me to learn rabindrasangeet... oh what a glorious struggle. the teacher resigned.

have you seen a movie called kabuliwallah based on his short story? really pretty, in bengali and in hindi. a stunning creative force he was, with music in his words and insight in his thoughts and an unafraid, positive, resolved personality. no sign of narrowness anywhere.

and a visionary... that fabulous experiment called shantiniketan, a whole new way of teaching and learning. something else, the man who's somehow always been around and one can't imagine him not being there... yet i don't know know him that well.

Originally posted by: indi52

love balraj sahni. another bs. in fact, ours has something of that older gorgeous man/actor in him, don't you think?

if that is ai mere pyaare vatan on yt (can't see it in office) then i have goosebumps already. a favourite since i was young. chhobi biswaas another really fine actor was the kabuliwalla in the bengali version.

about cloud atlas... yes that's the one. sci fi it didn't feel like, more like someone with a philosophy they want to talk about. definite points of view political, philosophical, emotional, here and a pov on death. and life. most thought provoking. well made. non hollywood. super craft.

Friendly Disclaimer: My words, thoughts and ideas are mine only, please do not copy. You are welcome to use it, but credit accordingly. Thank you!

Episode 114-115: mat jao...don't go

s one of the longest night of their lives winds down, two broken souls stand under the open sky, in the moon light, under the stars, quietly emoting and sharing their sorrows that resulted from events that unfolded. It only took an instant for things to go from heaven to hell, but this suffering feels eternal, never ending to both. As he looks up, as she looks on, words from an initial promo of the show comes to mind

"Kaash mein turmse nafrat kar paati"

"I wish i could hate you"

She is hurt and wounded badly tonight, but still not an ounce of hatred for him. Maybe if she could hate him, it was ease the pain a bit, but its not to be. When her amma told her to go see him off, she ran after him and thanked him. She never could really hate him, even when he is at his worst with her. After the forced marriage, only once in the heat of the moment she used the word nafrat (Hate)...it was after he used it first. soon his "manna ki chabi" will resurface, something she has kept with her since the day after their first meeting at sheesh mahel, when she had every reason to hate him and throw it away...but for some reason unknown she kept it.Like he will always be her protector, she will always be his savior as she holds his key. always have some understanding of him that allows her to forgive all of his harshness.

"Kaash mein tummse muhobbat kar paata"

"I wish i could love you"

He hated himself for hurting her, for wanting her so bad but at the same time for wanting to stay in control of his feelings, his promise to himself... How much easier would it be for him if he could free himself tojust love? the way he looks up at the sky here, felling her, i feel that's what he's trying to convey.

Both have made a decision tonight to bind themselves to people they refused to before, spreading happiness all around them while they suffered internally in center, thankfully it didn't go unnoticed by their sisters. Both Anjali and Payal are afraid they made the decision in "jaldbaazi"(in haste).

Though Anjali wants so bad for her brother to settle down with his love, but she can't ignore his eyes and like she says, they never lie to her.

"Kahin yeh faisla tumne jaldbaazi mein to nahi liya na?" at the very thought of "jaldbaazi" Di's question has him thinking about his haste decision, for a moment his face even reads "what have i done?" and when Anjali point blank asks him

"Chhotey, bataao hamme.tum khush to ho na?"

"Chhote, tell me, you're happy right?"

Normally an honest person, he can never lie facing someone ( also those expressive chocolate beauties always give everything away) he turns his back to his sister. "of course Di, mein khushi hoon (i'm happy)" but his flat voice, and eyes tell a different story. After all, he pushed happiness, his khushi away tonight.

There is more talk of dil vs. dimaag, Anjali wants to confirm that he made the decision with his heart not mind, to which he had no answer, as he mostly made the decision with neither dil or his dimaag. He did what he had to do, in the process breaking two hears, his included.

I do think he made the decision with dimaag as his head thinks its NOT smart to be in love with some one that will ultimately dictate terms.

Payal also pushes Khushi for answers, also wanting to be sure that her sister is happy with her decision. She aks if Shyam is the man she can spend her whole life with and Khushi replies with "jiji, ab hamne faisla le liya hai na (jiji, i've made the decision na)? didn't you see how happy buaji, amma, babuji were?"

Payal didn't let her dodge the question "Aur tu? (and you?)"

If Khushi was facing her, Payal would have no need to ask such a question since its in her character to always shows what's in heart is on her face, she would see pure sorrow on it. Her eyes close trying to gather her broken self, then she tries hard to force that deceptive smile, it wasn't convincing enough for Payal today. She know the decision has been made in "bahut jaldbaazi" "sooch to liya hai na tune?"..."are you sure you thought about it?" she asks

Wonder if there are such families, elders who would force their children into such marriages with which they are obviously not happy about, Khushi had reluctance and p[ain written all over her face! If there indeed are some, my heart goes out to all those silent sacrifices for the family!

Khushi looks down at those payals on her ankles, him putting it on her with every right. how special she must've felt then, 'kucchh cheezein bas yun hi ho jaati hai, bina soche, bina samjhe (some things just happen, without thinking, without understanding)" Payal is of course confused ... then thoughts of his sharp words cut across Khushi's heart again and says something to confuse Payal even more "jo bhi hua, i'm ready to forget it...and anyway, i don't have to go there anymore" ...in the end she leaves it up to her DM, "woh sab sambhaal legi"

At this point, it looks as if Khuhsi DID understand his deliberate denial, hence still her soft corner for him as she has experienced first hand the bliss of his attention many a times lately! She knew he was bothered but pushing away!!

DM obviously not ready to let her forget, she wastes no time in in waving the key in Khushi's face the next morning.

How true! When the Majar tiff happened, noone, would have anticipated it to play such crucial role when they were almost ready to part for ever!! Whta na beautiful closing of loop!!

The last time she looked at it was after she given him a piece of her mind and later felt bad about it, she had no idea what to make of the feeling she had when she held it that day. Today however its all too clear, how she sensed his essence through it, and how it adds to her pain. The same way he felt her through her pearls and payal, his mehsoos seems to be trapped in this key.

Arnav threw the pearls away in hope to get rid of her, and after last night, Khushi also doesn't know how to live with a part of him to always remind her of what may have been or the words that left her wounded. The only things is, unlike Arnav, Khushi wouldn't dare throw away his mannat ki chabi.

The difference between Payal and chabi to pearls is that the first two are held close to the heart deliberately knowing that they belong to the other, so there is no way they could have thrown them. where as pearls accidentally ended up in his coat pocket, ofcourse then he kept them for a while.

Buaji snaches the key from her and asks "Konu khazane ki chabi hai jo itna sambhaal ke rakhi hai (does this key open some big treasure that you're taking care of it so well?)?...no buaji, its a key to a man and when she finally unlocks him completely, it will be better and any treasure she could ever acquire.

"kuchh khaas nahi hai (its nothing special)" Khushi had to close her eyes to gather some courage to get that answer...but when buaji throws it down, it was as if her heart was being tossed.

Soon after, at the request of her amma she calls Anjali, as she didn't want to risk talking to him, to let them know she won't be coming anymore but Anjali and Nani insist on her coming one more time... she tells Buaji and Garima that she won't go there..."Why should i go? so he can be rude to me again...I- i won't go"...def not convincing enough, she know she would cave and go.

At the RM Arnav freezes on the stairs at hearing the word jilebi from Anajli who wants to make it for Khushi. He keenly listens as talks of how much shs did for the family and how truly wonderful she is. Somthing about how his family loves her does make him feel good. Nani brings out a gold chain with DM pendent wanting to make this day special "aaj unka aakhri din hai na?"...

POW! it hits him, its her last day.

When he announced his engagement, he didn't take this tiny bit into account did he? Back in his room furiously typing away, another one of his traits when he's got something on his mind, the key strokes keep halting as his mind keeps detouring to flashbacks of a heartbroken Khushi, then Nani's words ring in this ears '"aaj unka aakhri din hai na?" her last day, a brutal reminder of how he felt when he thought she would leave "hamesha ke liye...He closes his eyes to this unfathomable thought, when La interrupts and once again mentions her last day. he slams the laptop and leaves...a major proof of farq padta hai.

On his way downstairs, perhaps to his precious garden getaway, on again he stops at the same steps as earlier when there are more talks of Khushi. Nani asks if there is a way to keep her coming back, then La asks if there is anyway to convince her (he seem intrigued with that thought, wouldn't he love to "manaav" Khushi? pacify her? admit his mistake deep down inside? ) but when Anjali mentions that, it would be tough to get her back as she had to be convinced to come even today , something snaps. Maybe he couldn't take all this "farq padta hai." or he is just angry that she dared to refuse to come back to the RM...to him. He is dealing with so many emotions and inner turmoil...there is only way to express them: anger.

Loved your take here of describing his vaccilating thoughts!👏

"Di kya zarurat this usse yahan bulane ki? uska kaam yahan khatam ho chuka hai na? woh iss ghar se ja chucki hai aur hamaari zindagi se bhi, phir kyu bulaaya usse? "

"Di, what was the need to call her here? her work is done here, she's gone from this house and our life too, then why did you invite her back?

How much in pain is he in? She is gone from our house and "hamaari zindagi" ...our life, my life. Kushi's first day at the RM, he screamed at the top of his lungs, "GET OUT!...iss ghar mein jaga banane nahi doonga"...today only devastation under his anger as it sinks in she is really out. judging by how Nani, Anjali and La conspire to bring her back, it's safe to say she's made her place hasn't she? and judging by just how much farq padta hai now, she's certainly made her place in him...perhaps infuriating him further, he makes a few more inferiorating remarks

"waapis aa ke kahi ek din ke extrea paise maangne na lage (make sure she doesn't ask extra money for one day )" and when Nani or Anjalir try to get a word in, they don't stand a chance.

"Haan Di, mein bhi yeh ho kehe raha hoon, kyu ki mein bhi pareshaan ho chuka hoon, Khushi yeh, KHushi woh, BAS kijiye..."

"Yes Di, , that what i'm saying because i'm getting frustrated too, Khushi this Khushi that, ENOUCH..."He may as well be tell this to a mirror, fed up with himself as his kamzori (weakness)remains even after shunning her out.

He turns to go back to his room, but a familiar breeze halts him, regardless of how much he wants to forget her, he is forever longing for this breeze that brings her mehsoos. He feels it as if life depends on it. He can never ignore it, and must turn to look...there she stood with tears. He realizes he broke her heart again...what's interesting is no sign of all that anger

Khushi turns to leave but Nani stops her (gotta love that Nani), he looks on as Anjali and La cheer her up and bring her in. One look from Khushi and he briskly walk up a few steps, only to stop and turn again, she also has to look and notices his face speaks a differ language than what his lips were just speaking when she walked in. In maamiji's words "sab d-rama hai"

Nani, Anjali and La present their special gifts to Khushi and a cheap cruel joke by mamiji just ended when they her Arnav's loud yelling

"JUST SHUT UP!! I asked for coffee not juice!" Poor OP tries to defend him self, and provide proof, but he also didn't stand a chance in Arnave's state of mind. "just get out" and whn OP tries to pick up the pieces of the glass that Arnav broke, He screams some more, teeth clenched "I said just leave dammit!!"

Downstairs, Nani makes a comment about Chotey's anger of recent. Khushi seems to have a clue or she may even fully understand that hightened pain = hightened anger with her laad governor.

Panditji comes for La, but Khushi makes an excuse...she can see him from downstairs, even catches him looking at her, before quickly looking away . She tries to walk away but, she just can't. Imagine, the person that says terrible things to you, hurts you to no end, you promis yourself never to see him again, but you're helpless when the heart wants to reach out to him.

Maybe it was the best time to return the key, like the payal, its purpose also done, she had unlocked parts of him that he didn't know he had.

Beautiful!

If it wasn't for his fear of losing control, this love story may have been ready for a happy ending. But, its not to be the case right now. He closes the doors back, but IMO won't be able to lock her out completely. In her mind, she is just returning whats his, just doesn't want it around her anymore. Having said all of that, i strongly feel she goes up to check up on him. She is worried about his hightened gussa and knows it has to do with them.

By the poolside, the gust of wind blows and he savors her ehsaas again, and he must turn once again, they have a moment before his eyes turn on her

"chali jaao yahaan se." "go away from here"

Her "akhri din", last day is eating him up inside. she takes a few steps. He continues with his harsh words.

"na tumse baat karni hai, na tumhari shakkal dekhni hai, just say bye to everyone and leave" His goto line these days, sounds like a rootha hua small child.

"hame bhi aapse baat karne ka koi man nahi ha...hamto si"" i have no desire to talk to you also, i just-"

"maine kaha na mujh tumse koi baat nahi karni hai Khushi kumaari Gupta! Ek baar kahi huyee baat tumh samajh nahi aati? " I told you , i don't want to talk to you about anything KKG, don't you get it when i say it the first time?"

"par aap.." "But you"

He furiously grabs a hold of her shoulders, pulls her towards him yet he yells "I said LEAVE dammit!!." In this instant, it would've either been a hard passionate kiss or a vigorous shoving away..

He still thinks he has the right to pull/push her!!!

His will power must be strong, he chose to vigorously push her away, her hand lands on the broken pieces of glass, but he is looking the other way hiding in his own pain

He opens his eyes, still to her mehsoos, Tum ab bhi yehi ho?...i siad" he turns around to noone. Did she leave her essence in that key?? why else would he feel her presence when she leaves?

Khushi hides another "chot" given by him,

Indeed!!

wrapping her dupatta around her hand. She Insists on leaving and when she tells them she has to stop by the temple, noone pressures her to stay. A heartfelt goodbye from Anjali, Nani and La...Not so much by mamiji. She really had become a part of this family, later on, after forced marriage, when she goes to GH, she leaves really sadly .

As she takes steps towards the door, he rushes to see in secret.

If anyone saw, they would say his heart is sinking. Khushi leaves with a heavy heart like she leaving a huge part of her behind. A sad melody takes over, these 46 seconds are so moving. eventhough we know kabootri will be back the next day, Sobti/Sanaya and gang make us live in the moment and feel the impact of her last day.

can't get over this look, seeing her for the first time after he hurt her❤️❤️ so many emotions but remorse is also there.

Originally posted by: indi52

episode 115

it was a moment only, a fraction of a second, yet it told an entire story of its own. he turned away, all set to ascend to his ivory tower, and never see her again. and then after a few steps, he stopped. she was being welcomed in by his family, all trying to make her feel better, but her eyes still held an ocean and a half of hurt.

He always hurts her she always bears it and then he tries to find a balm for it indirectly but that chit of a teenage girl always seems to understand it.

he stopped.

head slightly turned this way as though he just had to. he struggled again, then giving up, slowly turned and looked at her.

a long look. and somewhere along the way the anger in his eyes shifted out a bit, letting something else in.

then it was time to go. he was outta here... or so he wished to convey.

ankhen bolti hai(eyes talk she told later in Heer Ranjha)

how much of him was there in that little hesitation and capitulation. to feelings he just never ever wanted. yet now they were here, and he was powerless before them. in a state like that what is a man do. he had to fight back. at least that's how he saw the whole thing.

after that the little wordless communication between the two, dense with meaning, a massive conversation, visceral, valid, utter, not the sort where you calmly sit back and say "let's talk." and there is no place for anything remotely akin to "calmly" in all of this.👏👏👏

a long time back, i saw a movie called dr dolittle. i was a kid then, remember laughing hysterically at an animal called push-me-pull-you, that neither lets you move this way nor that. did i detect this animal in that pause of asr's just now? he'd just heard that today was her last day; little eye movements, always telltale, had hinted at the fact that he hadn't thought of that and also some other feeling this news brought on. then there had been mamiji's nasty suggestions as to how to throw a major party to send off phatti saree and di's admonishing words: khushiji has done so much for the fam, without her the dream of seeing chhotey married would remain just that, a dream, we must do something really nice for her.

by this time, his biggest protector, his anger, had walked in, jaws clenched, eyes grew nasty, an outburst looked imminent. he stalked off. and perhaps because he so wanted to see her though he kept saying he didn't, he sat in his castle, face grim, glued to laptop. but peace was elusive.

Again leaving me alone and going dont leave me alone his eyes seem to tell her and us but his words uff makes us as angry as he seems to hurl insults hurting her and in this hurting him

in no time, thoughts of her. in a beautiful contrapuntal arrangement, dialogues said one thing, visuals showed another. the push-me-pull-you was having a good time. don't think a rich guy was hanging around with your payal clasped to his heart... but here he is, tenderly, reverently, romantically putting the payal around her anklet, taking his time over it, enjoying every moment. doesn't make a difference to me, you don't matter... yet he's getting lost in her, drawing closer to hungrily kiss her pearly trembling lips, that's all, all he wants.

lol was he not doing all those things he says he does not

he's telling her these horrible things, her voice is a whisper, struggling to fend off the onslaught... koi matlab nahin... doesn't mean a thing. naniji's voice layers on, how about this pendant for khushi bitiya, today's her last day.

his eyes shut involuntarily. the pain is sharp.

just then la had to walk in, with more talk of khushi's last day. what should i give khushi, now that she's going away, should i give her a la sort of dress after all she taught me her style... i want to teach her la style... what do you think.

slam.

the poor laptop took the brunt of that fury. he stormed out and down those steps to tell everyone what he thought of their idea. this fussing over khushi.

not that the morning had been easy for the girl who never left his mind. though khushi affected an unaffected air and when buaji called her tried to look calm, her mind was on that phone call she'd been asked to make to say goodbye to the raizadas. "nahi hume nahi jana..." no, i won't go she'd said to buaji, i won't go. but didn't she want to? "toh nahi jao..." so don't go, said her aunt. "haan nahi jana... hum kyon jaaye taake phir se woh humse buri tarah se baat kar sake," and like a little lost girl, yeah, not going... then to herself... why should i go so that he can again talk badly to me.

talk badly? the man has insulted her, crushed her emotions, told her she means nothing to him, alleged she's out to catch a rich guy, and all this after he was desperate to be with her. and now she says, talk badly. and she's not looking too convinced about not going to rm also. muttering to herself. oh, she misses him, he misses her, it's real mess. just that the acting is so good and dialogues so measured you want to see how far and how well this can be taken.

gusse me pyaar hai bohat sara pyaar she feels it always though tears fall from her eyes at his words

just underneath her jhola sits the thing that will again make going to see him easier. his mannat ki chabi. their was she not there while he was tying it

still she says, as though echoing his words, a nice play of words here, key phrases pulled up like repeated notes in a large long piece of music, giving depth and focus, a sense of continuity... "hume isse koi matlab nahin... hum nahin jaayenge," means nothing to me, i won't go. this despite naniji speaking to her and requesting her to come to rm, if not for her job, then for naniji. naniji had also said "hamesha humra maan rakkha hai... bahut hi achhi ladki hai.," she's always given me respect, a very good girl is our khushi. but she says she won't go.

i wondered how they'd show her changing her mind. i needn't have worried, the pull you was working harder than the push me it seems.

in his anger, he's come rushing down the steps and stands at a point above them. reminds me of an angry wave racing in swift, fierce. the visage though is thin, drawn, pale, looks like he hasn't slept the night. his voice when he speaks is hoarse, rasping, sandy. was this by design or barun wasn't keeping well? it worked perfectly though. after saying the things he had the night before could he have retired to sound sleep?

"di," peremptory, gussa all over the syllable.

"kya zaroorat thi ussko yahan bulane ki," ... decibel rising... "usska kaam yahan khatam ho chuka hai na.. wo iss ghar se jaa chuki hai... aur hamari zindagi se bhi... toh phir kyun bulaya use?" what was the need to call her? her work is done, she's left this house, and our lives, then why, what's the need to call her?

anjali is dumbstruck. why this rough anger suddenly, and such words? she tries to tell him to calm down. matters escalate. he takes it to money, but naturally. she'll come and ask for money for this extra day, a rather crudely put together thought, none of the asr polish. he's losing it again. anjali is livid. reminds me of janmashtami (episode 68), then too he'd felt this pull you and pushed hard with his money insults. that day too, he'd had to look back at her from these stairs (episode 69). the stairs were such a gorgeous place for their love story. so much happened here. yes and the poolside

and today, the feelings were at a much higher pitch. the attraction had gone all the way to a predatory walk in the dark with only one clear intent. he'd fought it off desperately, torn all beautiful feelings asunder, leaving a mass of seething, roiled emotions. he went on relentless. ASR kya kar rahe ho

"haan, di, main bhi yahi kah raha hoon, kyunki main bhi pareshaan ho chuka hoon... khushi yeh, khushi woh... bas kijiye." yes, di, i am saying the same thing... i to am tired... khsuhi this, khsuhi that... stop it, please.

with that, he turned, and shhh the gust of wind... he stopped, his eyes registered change, a gash of feelings quickly masked, he knew she was here.

he turned back. she was standing there, tears in her eyes.

a flow of emotions that neither could help any longer, a little chat without words, between heart and heart, gut and gut, skin and skin. convulsive. unstoppable.

she made to leave. and the lady who saw a lot of herself in this refreshing young woman, said "thairiye, khushi bitiya," wait, khushi bitiya, you have come here on my invitation... no need to go because someone else says so.

he swallowed, again those feelings.

she smiled at something la said, his stood watching...

then he decided to let anger rule and turned to surge right back to his den... but as he went up the steps, he just had to. had to stop. let himself turn and look at her. and she had to look at him with all her complaint her hurt in her eyes.

khushi tried to remain calm and accepted the gifts and mamiji's customary insults.

but not asr. everything was too much for him today. when you've been terrible to someone and are not planning to own up, perhaps the conscience plays its own game and makes you suffer as much if not more than the one you inflict pain on?

breaking glass.

and a roar from upstairs. "just shut up... maine juice nahi, coffee mangi thi." just shut up, i asked for coffee not juice? why not juice, i think, because you want her to pour it into your shoe, or you want her to mix coughing powder into it?

like me, poor op had several questions and things to point out, and boy did the poor man named after god who khushi wants to play ankh micholi with get it from the chhotey terror. first a reminder of janmashtami, now the blind man's bluff om prakash. sense of krishna in the air. this too is a rasa of prem, an aspect of love nothing else.

asr is screaming blue murder, poor op tries to place the broken pieces of glass on the table by the pool and clear up the mess, but he is ordered to get out, i said just leave it, dammit.

nani wonders why her grandson is so angry all the time these days. she obviously hasn't noticed a thing. but since the priest comes by, all waft off to get la's horoscope made. this is a traditional household, asr is the only one perhaps who will openly disregard the astrologer's opinion and predictions.

khushi is asked to join them but holds back. she had said she wasn't coming here. but she is here. she had said looking at the key, doesn't mean a thing. apparently, it does.

for some reason it ties her to him. she wanted to return it that first day but he'd refused to take it and said "phenk do." throw it, she hadn't. it stayed in her bag. and the day she'd gone to his home, screamed at him and resigned, she'd come back and found that key in her bag (episode 34) and held on to it, just feeling him, thinking of him, that meeting of theirs.

the key stayed. but today, after what he'd said, she wanted to end this connection. or maybe her gut knew this was the only way too keep it alive. we are contrary creatures. i am sure khushi's conscious being wanted to finish all relations with asr. but are we just our conscious selves?

from the living room, she sees him in his garden... he sees her, but they both turn away. then a change of mind. she will go to him. why khushi? why? i wonder.
pyaar Indi pyaar pulling them
and we go into a shyam break. usual putrid games with babuji, today it's chucking medicines day... to coerce khushi into wearing that ring he has bought with the money he's stolen from his wife. charming man. never shouts, never screams. never says get out or koi matlab nahin.

back to poolside.

he feels the gust, he knows what it says...

their first meeting here after the night before.

gruff, shallow voice, tired, hurt, angry, mix of emotions. "chali jaao yahan se.. na tumse baat karni hai... na tumhari shakal dekhni hai..." go away from here... don't want to talk to you... nor do i want to see your face. sounds like a lover's tiff.

"just say bye to everyone and leave."

he has turned away, he is finding the whole thing too difficult to handle.

"hume bhi aap se baat karne ka koi man nahin hai..." even i don't want to talk to you... not submissive and sad, spunky jhalli khushi... "hum sirf yahan aaye the taaki-" i'd only come so that-

he interrupts, "maine kaha na mujhe tumse koi baat nahin karni hai, khsuhi kumari gupta... ek baar kahi hui baat tumhe samajh nahin aati?" told you, didn't want to talk to you... don't you understand what's being said the first time.

"par aap..." but you-

"i said... leave, dammit."

suddenly he turns and he lunges at her, holding her shoulders in a vice like grip. out of control.

long long moment.


and he pushes her away as though all he wants to do is hold her forever... but he can't... a resigned and helpless turn of head.

she falls back, hand on broken glass.

when he turns around after composing himself, she's not there.

"tum abhi yahin ho..." you're still here, half hoping perhaps... "i said..." she's gone.

her dupatta, now her saviour, wraps around her left palm and hides the truth from everyone. she takes her leave with a promise from la to take her to parties and... under the tiger eyes of naniji... also satsang. tears are still making khushi's eyes red.

someone hurries to windows overlooking the entrance, a pair of eyes follow her as she walks out. words will always fail to describe what's in them.

a song from years ago, if you go away on a summer day/then you might aswell take the sun away in my mind. here's shirley bassey singing it, and here's to if you stay.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwGUqx6vngY[/YOUTUBE]
credit: uploader, with many thanks.

Originally posted by: DurgaS

The sagaai celebrations still on, it seems. Good. Here's a quickie.

Disclaimer: Please do not copy my work anywhere. If you do, please give credit.

BADHAAI

Badhaai ho badhaai

Arnav Khushi ki hogi sagaai

Ye rasam poori karegi

Shyam babu ki lugaai

Shyam karle jitne jatan

Hokar rahega inka milan

Rukegi na inki purvaayi

Kismat mein inki nahin hai judaai

Badhaai ho badhaai

Arnav Khushi ki hogi sagaai

Ye sach baat hai chahe koyi na maane

Ab chain se dekhenge inki ladaai

Translation:

Congratulations

Arnav Khushi's engagement to take place

This tradition will be completed by

Shyam's wife

Let Shyam do anything

Their unity will take place

Their wind will not stop

There is no separation in their fate

Congratulations

Arnav Khushi's engagement to take place

This is the truth, even if no one may believe

Now can relax and watch their fights

😆

DurgaS's Index

Originally posted by: sohara

Episode-115

A cheerful, garrulous girl who spreads laughter and happiness to everywhere, has become gloomy sad, pensive, as if she lost herself. But still trying to lead her life perfunctorily without any zeal. She has to live for the sake of her family. She doesn't have the luxury to pamper her sorrow. She has to participate the rituals of her unwanted marriage. She doesn't need to work any more. Or moreover how can she go there after hearing such flippancy from the man who changed her life in a day.She dreamed a forbidden dream, forgot for a while that she can't dare to dream so big. But what possibly she could do, he is just too irresistible.and did lot of good things making her dream saved her helped her looked after her ,his eyes showed her dreams while his words hurt her Didn't he instigate her to feel for him, didn't he inebriate her with his charm, didn't he show her that he cares, didn't he put the consoling hands on her head? An indecisive man who does not want to commit himself

Khushi is incredulous to call RM, if he picks the call, what will she say. She decides to call Anjali instead to let her know that she will not gonna come for work any more. But Anjali is not ready to let her bid bye like this. Khushi explains that her work is done as naniji agrees to accept Lavanya. Nani requests her to come to RM as she considers her as their own. How Khushi can refuse Nani. so she agrees. Nani is really pleased with Khushi, "she is a very good child and will never disobey me." . They are are planning to treat her.

While descending from the stairs my sexy boy listens that Khushi is coming and his nani and sister are planning big for her as it's her last day. he gets annoyed to hear that. He is reeling under the effects of a complex melange of emotions that are causing tumult inside. Nani brings a gold pendant for Khushi, what made mami jealous, "why do you need to give her precious gold" she taunts them "why don't you throw a big party for her?"

Khushi is repugnant, whether she should go or not! but the mannat ki chabi, she needs to return it. she doesn't want to keep any memory of him. Moreover she promised to nani. So how can she ignores her! Buaji reminds her to take her bag and the key too. she holds the key in her hand and mutters in abhorrence" If I'll go there, he will talk harshly again." Poor girl, doesn't have the courage left to face his acrimony.

but she goes

Where in his room my sexy boy can't concentrate on his work. Lost in reminiscences, all feelings of love and hate is seeping out from his heart. The pool side scene, he is clapsing the payal on her ankle and his attempting to kiss her, then his afflictive words, "it doesn't mean nothing", all are reverberating in his mind. His convulsion is making him deranged. nani's words are echoing in his ears " it's her last day". he is really perturbed. La's words pulsates his anger more. she also reminds him that it's her last day. She wants to gift her something, may be a La kind of dress. Arnav gets terribly frantic. he slams the lappy and storms out from the room. What Khushi felt the other day when he left her after the kiss he is feeling today SHE IS LEAVING AND GOING

In the living room all the ladies are talking about khushi. Mami shows her happiness as she will not gonna come to RM any more. Nani gets annoyed to hear that, "you must be grateful to Khushi. because of her Ms. kashyap has changed, she accepted her and Chote agreed for marriage. now she can think of Akash's marriage as well." Arnav hears that nani is planning something what can make Khushi to keep coming to RM. La also gets excited to hear that, "can we agree her?" Anjali is skeptical, "I don't think so. she even didn't want to come. She agreed because me and nani insisted." Arnav gets exasperated more to hear it, He says grimly "what is the need to call her here?" All the ladies get flummoxed to hear his animosity towards khushi. He is implacable. "her work is done in this house, she already left from our life, then why did you call her here again?" Anjali says in embroilment,, "why are you so angry?" What answer he can give, so he brings the money again,"She will charge for extra money for working extra day." (pause: Mr. Raizada, you are so benevolent person, donates to lots of organization, now counting one day's salary of a poor employee! that's ridiculous isn't it? next time make some accusation which is believable to others.BUT THEY HAVE NO SWAY ON HIM AND HIS FEELINGS ) Nani refutes, 'bas chote don't measure everything with money." he emulates, "kuch logo ko liye hota he. kya zaroorat he us larki ke liye itna drama karne ki? uske uska paisa mil chuki hai, phir kyu bulaya use?(it matters with some people. why did you need to do so much drama for that girl? she already got her money. then why did you call her again?) Anjali gets upset to hear his poignant words, "stop talking like this, chote." But he is indignant, " yes, you are right,I'm pissed off, khushi this, Khushi that." He turns around to ascend up the stairs when he senses her presence. He slowly turns his head and sees Khushi is congealed there in consternation. he is also perplexed to see her. She intends to leave, but nani stops her, " you came her on my invitation. so you don't need to leave for anybody else." mami is always ready to vex her, "she sure will come, just doing drama." Mami's scathing words makes her more upset. Anjali rushes to her and requests her to come in. La also joins her, "if you don't come then I'll eat up all of your jalebi" Tears are welling up in Khushi's eyes. She looks up at him with abhorrence ,"why so much asperity!" he also feels guilty i guess. he goes up, but looks back to see her again. His eyes are telling the different story.

the ladies are gratifying khushi with gifts. first nani gives her the gold chain with a pendant. Khushi refuses to take nani's expensive gift, but agrees when she insists. Anjali gives her a Geeta and blesses her as well. la aslo got a gift for her. But I'm surprised to see Mami's meanness. she insults her again with her shallow act. She tells Khushi to give her hand, touches it and snatches her hand away by addressing her as a servant. i wish if I could slap her right there!😡 me too

A terribly disturbed man hollered at a poor guy. All the ladies in the living room jerk to hear his out burst. Arnav broke the glass of juice what OP brought for him. He is shouting at him for not getting coffee. Poor OP defends himself that he asked for Juice. He gets exasperated more and tells him to get out of his sight. Poor guy can't finish to clean up the mess, leaves the broken glass on the table and goes from there. nani is frustrated, 'nowadays chote screams a lot."

pause: yes nani, plz think. he just wished to get married. so he must be happy. Instead of getting happy he is getting more frantic.

The family are getting prepared for the marriage of Arnav and La. Pandit comes with La's horroscope. Anjail wants Khushi to join them. Khushi tells her that she gonna join them soon. She has to complete the task for what she came to RM. She sees Mr. grumpy through the window. he is also staring at her. Vortex of emotions are visible in their eyes, not hate, but concern, compassion, cares and lots of tenderness.

In GH the nasty shyam is playing with babuji's medicine now. he expresses his desire to get engaged on the very day. babuji is fuming but poor guy, so helpless in front of that devil.

Back in the poolside Arnav feels the breeze again. she is here. he turns and says in cool voice,"go from her." She cringes inwardly. when he sees she is still standing there, he says disdainfully ,"Neither I want to see your face nor i want to talk to you. Bid bye to everybody and go." Khushi is valiant, "I also don't have a wish to talk to you. I came to." she can't finish when he barges at her, "didn't I tell you I don't need to talk to you about anything. don't you understand the words once spoken." She steps back in abhorrence, but tries to talk, "but you.". he prowls towards her, grabbing hold of both her upper arms vehemently, "I said leave damn it." He strengthens his grip on her arms, looking straight in her eyes. when he sees billow of pain in her eyes he can't grasp it any more. he leaves her with a jerk, what makes Khushi flip and her hand falls on the broken glass. She must cut her finger. Arnav turns back to her, his anger pulsates, his eyes closed, jaw clenched, fist clutched, he tries to control his anger, gathers courage and turns again to face her. He speaks gruffly in a low voice, 'are you still there?" but there is no need to say anything, cause she is already gone.

she is rushing to leave covering her hand with her dupatta. She needs to hide her pain from the world and his guilt as well. Anjali asks her why didn't she join them? Khushi wishes to leave. Anjali tells her to stay more time, "you just came." But khushi can't stay there for any longer, "no i have to go to mandir, so i must leave. " Anjali is upset, "You must felt bad at chote's words? I'll miss you a lot. i wish God gave you all the happiness in life." She hugs her. khsuhi takes the blessing of naani and doesn't forget to greet mamiji also. but she returns her greetings acrimoniously. La takes her in embrace, "i'll miss you. But i'll take you to a party for sure. " when nani glares angrily, she mends herself, "and satsang too." the ladies are really sad that she is leaving. and my sexy boy also. he can't express his anguish, but feels scorching pain in his heart. His words can lie but his eyes can't.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=FheGCX1S8bA[/YOUTUBE]

Originally posted by: ArshiHamesha

ARSHI"S INDEX

EPISODE PART 114-115

Khushi's Engagement PART 1

Buckle up for the long ride...

The sun has risen with new beginnings of rearranging relations by humans and by Divine Fate.Lets see how these round up now as Mahurat is waiting for no one or some one is not waiting for Mahurat.

Shyam A person who recites mantras during Barsi goes to temples should surely know the meaning of bad mahurat he is definitely digging his grave and will lose all his own and the wrongly coveted one faking a horoscope what else its ok you are a non believer and dont match them but fake matches😡😡

Slouchy Scorpion's moves by using pawns to get the Queen

Shyam with Slouchy time ticking moves to fulfill his lusty desires as quick as possible and for which he as a benevolent man traps his RaniSahiba in a plan of charity for money and man handles Babuji to use him as a pawn to reach to his target.Babuji's exasperation makes it difficult to see this scene as this Scorpion has crossed his limits...What an enticer sweet talker ...who is going to use poor father one more time to step one step ahead and as yesterday he chocked him with sweets and today with bitterness[meds].

His moves to get money and to make poor guy sick is so making me sick..

Lamha-e-Fikeriya[Thinkable moment]:He tricked Anjali for money who gets money each month from Arnav to buy the ring so technically ring is from Arnav and he is delivering it to Khushi as a family member but Anjali puts this ring on Khushi when Arnav finds out what a thought but making me happy... yes leads to Arnav telling Khushi yeh hum pahale kar chuke during remarriage though he meant bandagement

Symbolism and connection:Anjali pulls half way mirror down with his reflection on it.Connection she knows the truth what happened here but leaves it half way to remain blind at the top they both are facing each other it means they both are aware of it .No wonder why he knew no matter what will he do she will be with him'. so many big clues but blind and unconnecting till the end

King and Queen's moves to come face to face with the help of Bishop and Kind Rook Round 1

New morning with rising sun and a lots of shine but not for a girl whose night is not done yet.Khushi affected by recent events but her resilient nature was ready to move on yet again stopped by Amma asking her to make a call to say good bye to the Raizadas.Killing BG music increases her abhorrence.

Khushi,"nahin humain nahin jana..." [no, I won't go] she says to Buaji, but as all the things mean opposite in their case same here...didn't she want to go?

Buaji,"so don't go",

Khushi,"haan nahin jana... hum kyon jaayein taake phir se woh humse buri tarah se baat kar sakain," [why should I go so he can again talk to me badly.]

Not talking [she looks so cute saying that very much a child with resilience with whatever attitude] and seems not so convincing even though she's been called a gold digger ,being muddled ,insulted and at the top he told her "she means nothing to him"[koi matlab nahi'] and

still wants to be with him, muttering to herself"not going".Awww, she misses him, he misses her, what say...stubborn kids...

"Youn jo badhe hain inn keh qadam inhain rasta tu hi dikha" Raba....

Rasta ,the way to bring these two hurting souls together is the "key" mannat ki chabbi" ...Khushi who is his mannat ki chabbi can't be away from him as this is HIS no matter what and divinity has to bring a way of light among em before dawn again prevails.[Shyam and his plan to marry her quickly]

Arnav's Mannat ki chabbi after pearls is the second most important elements of IPK---Khushi is again getting ready to face Arnavji as his heart's key is here in Khushi's palm which accidently or divinely came to surface through Buaji's bitter batter about her marriage preparation .The key of the door which Arnav closed on her apparently is right here with her since from the beginning since Dargah where he said to her "throw it" but she treasured it always god knows why .The key of privacy of all the events which remain in between them as always just like this key in her bag hidden from the sunlight...Khushi echoes the Dargha's scenes but still adamant

"hume isse koi matlab nahin... hum nahin jaayenge," [means nothing to me, I won't go] despite Nanij's sweet request.hmmm...but the second moment emotionally surrendered by Naniji's love"hum nain aap se kuch ziyada maang liya kya"[Did I ask you too much]...

PONDERING CONNECTED DOTS: The Same way she'd gone to his home to resign after throwing her anger on him found this key in her bag after coming back (episode 34) and held on to it to have this abrupt feeling "hum Khush kyuon nahin hain"[Why am I not happy?] because of yearning of his proximity unconsciously and same for him on the other side a song for this posted for you Arshi

Three ladies are trying to bring her back RM.[3 # of victory as well as masculine #]. Naniji said "hamesha hamra maan rakha hai... bohat hi achhi ladki hai.," [she always gives me respect, Khushi is a very good girl . Naniji speaking to her and requesting her to come to RM, if not for her job, then for her Naniji [Hamari Khatir]

Other side, his angst has no rest as he just found out that today is her last day, bitter batter by eyes evidently as always adumbrate to the fact that he hadn't thought of that.At the top it seems just like her he did not sleep either... There is aggression first time at mamiji's nasty exhortation of a plan to send off Khushi[patti saree] and above all Di's reproachful but praising words for her, "Khushiji has done so much for this family and it was impossible without her to see Chote's wedding which would be a dream ,A DREAM...

and here comes his dreamy mask, his brewing anger ,layers on his face with clenching jaws and narrowed eyes . He paced out immediately may be because he wants to see her too just like her though he keeps saying he doesn't.

In his room,on recliner with deep austere working on laptop. but with intangible feelings of her just her thoughts in a disarray order, visuals saying one thing and dialogues other "Don't think a rich guy was keeping your payal closed to his heart... but other side he is putting the payal around her ankle tenderly and humbly , enjoying every moment of it contradicting with doesn't make a difference to me, you don't matter... yet he's getting tranquilized in her proximity closer to kiss her rosy quivering lips and that's all he wants.He wants her just like she wants him...

he's telling these things to keep her away from him, her insinuated voice turns on the trigger in him... "koi matlab nahin..." [doesn't mean a thing"]. Naniji's voice adds on, how about this pendant for khushi bitiya, Today is KHUSHI's LAST day.

Shutting his eyes with sharp pain as its unbearable...and making it more oppressive when La comes in to discuss Khusji's gift in La's style...

He stormed out by slamming the poor laptop and comes down on those steps to tell everyone to stop with the execution of their plans over Khushi ...

Arnav aggressively and assertively,"Di," kya zaroorat thi ussko yahan bulane ki," .. rising rage with prevailing tiredness in the voice .. "usska kaam yahan khatam ho chuka hai na.. woh iss ghar se jaa chuki hai... aur hamari zindagi se bhi... toh phir kyun bulaeya use?"

Translation:'Why did you call her? Her work is done, she's left this house and our lives, then what was the need to call her again?]

Anjali gets astonished at his sandy anger in his words and attitude suddenly just like "[Kia Kia hai tumhare Dimag mein jo tumhain pareshan kar raha hai"What is in your brain which is bothering you].Episode 34.The more she tries to calm him down the more lava erupts and spreads in the tone of money

Arnav with his witty but raw thought," She'll come and ask for money for this extra day. He is losing it again. Anjali along with others is just blanched

PONDERING CONNECTED DOTS: Just like janmashtami (episode 68), "har cheese paison se nahin kharidi ja sakti...har cheese par tum..."[everything can't be bought by money ...yes everything but you]

Today, the feelings have crossed the bridge of attraction to all the way down to the road of indulgence with only one intention...to hold her for eternity but his desperate fight last night with the intention of throwing her away for eternity by crushing the red rose along with his burning yet soothing desires making him act and go on incessantly ..
Arnav,"Haan, Di, "Kya zaroorat hai us larki keh liye itna drama karne ki...main bhi yahi keh raha hoon, kyunke main bhi pareshan ho chuka hoon... Khushi yeh, Khushi woh... bas kijiye."

Translation:yes, Di,What's up with this all drama for that girl I am saying the same thing... I am tired listening khsuhi this, khsuhi that... stop it, please.

With that, he turns, and the gust of wind with flickering feelings... make him stop, his eyes avowed her presence with change, he knows she is here....

He turns back seeing her standing there with teary eyes but neither could stop this yearning and flowing emotions any longer .There is a little but detonating chat in between them without any barrier..without any fear of surroundings...👏👏

Khushi with unbearable pain ,ready to leave but stopped by the lady who sees herself in her eyes "thairiye, khushi bitiya," [wait, khushi bitiya,] you have come here on my invitation... you don't have to go because someone else has problem..

He gulps down all the pain and have a glimpse of peace for a nano second seeing her with a fade smile with La but

then turns by putting his anger mask on to march back to his Eternal Heaven ... but as he climbs up the steps, he stops ,and gives back his signature turn look . to her and she responds back with hurt and complaint.. loved this Arshi

PONDERING CONNECTED DOTS: Just like that day [episode 69] he'd had to look back at her from these stairs when she was in pain and tears because of police insult but that day La was the cause and he was protector and today she is attacked by her own protector.

Khushi accepted the gifts by keeping her chin up with Mamiji's insults and Arnav's words..but not ASR.

Symolisms and connections:Shrimad Bhagwat provides that light which enables Jeeva (human being) to experience the wonderful freedom of liberation. One feels, "Yes, I am free!" Shrimad Bhagwat expresses this philosophy through the narration of the life stories of 24 incarnations of Lord Vishnu. Amongst these, the tenth volume of the Shrimad Bhagwat narrates in infinite detail, the story of Lord Krishna.

Anjali is giving it to Khushi unintentionally but willingly who is going to bring an inevitable change in Arnav by freeing him from all the past and present pains...

Unconscious guilt is playing game within him with extorting pains as he was atrocious with her and doesn't know how to make up so in this suffering terribly he barges out at poor Om Parakash by breaking glass..."just shut up... maine juice nahin, coffee mangi thi." [just shut up, I asked for coffee not juice...] Why not juice because it reminds you of her as juice in your shoes or her drinking of same juice to have same punishment just like now you want same infliction of pains as hers ...

PONDERING CONNECTED DOTS:On janmashttami..Jai [light] Prakash for starting lightening of God in him and today is OM [God] to bring him near to him taking his blessings by releasing him from his pains...as Arnav will be closed to accept his POWERS after bandagement but Khushi receives blessings and he still needs some more lessons to learn..all the way down when he will call himself failure and Khushi will strengthen his beliefs with "Bhagya"..Fate..and that day he will be free himself...

REMEMBERING MOMENTO: Tu hi Bata mingles when their relation is about to turn into new phase and Krishna mingles [Shrimad Bhagwat which Anjali gives to Khushi and then Om] when his character is about to turn into new phase as here besides his anger and crave for his control he is going to let her come close in coming epis ,in Mandir for bandage, in his home when she comes back "Tum aao par mujh se baat mat karo...etc EITHER way its a CHANGE'..

ASR screaming at poor OP who tries to place the broken pieces of glass on the table by clearing up near the pool... "get out, I said just leave it, Dammit."

A guy who did not get mad by spilling coffee on him ,today was ready to murder OP for juice...

Naniji and all wonders why he is so angry all the time these days. They obviously haven't figured out any thing. Priest comes by getting La's horoscope made for Shadi in a traditional way , khushi is being asked to join but she holds back . How can she see and bear all this happening in front of her eyes apparently ...Love hurts'.

But she had said she wasn't coming here. but she is here. She said , doesn't mean a thing by looking at the key apparently las night, but it does and for some reason it binds her to him. The key stayed with her but today after what he said, she wants to cut this "tar" this bond or maybe her conscious SAYS this is the only tar in between just like him...her memories,...
She sees him in his garden from the living room, and he sees her, but they both turn away but then she changes her to go to him but why ?

He feels the gust her essence closer to him, he knows she is close to his heart'.but with anger and mixed emotions...
Arnav,"chali jaao yahan se.. na tumse baat karni hai... na tumhari shakal dekhni hai..."

Translation:go away from here... I don't want to talk to you or see your face. '

Arnav,"just say bye to everyone and leave."

He turns away as facing her is the most difficult deal of the world for him right now

Khushi in abhorrence,"humain bhi aap se baat karne ka koi mun nahin hai...[ I don't want to talk to you. either].. khushi valiantly in her counter attacking mode... "hum sirf yahan aaye thai taakeh-"[ i'd only come so that]

Such idiots, fight like kids over a toy yeah that's the other part the toy is the heart with one heartbeat...without which they both can't survive...

He interrupts and roars, "maine kaha na mujhe tumse koi baat nahin karni hai, Khsuhi kumari gupta... eik baar kahi hui baat tumhain samajh nahin aati?" [ I told you, I donn't want to talk to you... why don't you understand first time.]

Khushi gulps down the pain over his coldness,"par aap..."[ but you]

He turns swiftly and tramps over her by gripping her shoulders tightly and daggering her straight into her eyes,. out of control,"I said... leave, dammit."

A silent yet painful moment and despite the pain he gives her but with lurking painful look of love in her eyes ...He leaves her with a jerk as her pain is lurking in his eyes now which refuse to open..turns around to grasp and compose himself with closed eyes...barges one more time

."tum abhi yahin ho..." [you're still here,] half hoping perhaps... "I said..."she's gone.

Pause here:There mehsoos"feel" ,permination is reaching to next level with strong vibes as he can feel her distressed heart while being far away as during Khushi's engagement he is totally devastated back and forth in his room while she was in the wilderment of raging emotions of pain remembering all the encounters.

She wraps her dupatta on her palm for leaving for good when calls upon by house ladies.She bids goodbye with teary eyes but with her steps out someone's steps follow her as she walks out with despair and loss .

The same way in Epi 34 but not with this depth...

MOMENT OF THE DAY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb88bWhdR58

[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb88bWhdR58[/YOUTUBE]

Originally posted by: wiwy

Riddle No. 9:😃

Why did Arnav's chest turn red when tea was thrown on it?😆

Answer to Riddle No. 9 (wiwy ishtyle):😃

As soon as tea touched Arnav's chest it did naughtea things to him!😆