Blast from the Past Thread #7, ep 87, pg 119 - Page 58

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BarunDiwani thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: indi52



signature step of intimidation. 👏 👏
ami, beautiful one. yes all along it was the looming barsi day that kept colouring emotion. you're vulnerable, tense, dreading the reappearance of a date you want to wipe out forever, marking years for the most painful thing that ever happened in your life, and in that state comes shaadi attack. poor guy, poor girl, poor la. loved your telling of it, intense it was. i want to see the last scene again 😳. and now when i think of it, it was one of the most romantic ipk episodes ever too. there was flirting, passion, extreme tenderness, and attraction, only a different take on it. asr/khushi ishtyle.


people keep asking me, what do you guys write about? what, the same episode, all of you? and write about a serial? why? what's wrong with you guys? go, get a life, etc.

but as i was reading yours, and this was the third or fourth piece on 80 i was reading, something more came into view, and all of a sudden, the romance of it all struck me, just now i'd written to horizon that what's of importance is who he fights with, for that says he gives a damn. and so it does. just look at them.

i used to wonder in literature class why we bother to write reams of critical analysis... this is why i guess, helps you see things better. and develops your keenness of perception... might even help in situations in real life. kya pata.


Indi!!!! HI 😊 thanks you for all the pinks 😃 i'm glad you enjoyed, gotta say i had a hard time putting this one into words. intense is the word,so many emotions were layered on top of eachother and Sobti looking his abs best, it was hard to find words. dying to read your take on 80, i'm sure your words will make perfect sense!
Yes, the romance in this one, i feel it every time i watched but never could figure out, then when i saw it closely, it became even more clearer,...for me that rabba be moment took that intense scene to newer heights... 😆 just read what you wrote you horizon, you nailed it, with Khushi, he gives a damn, farq padta hai , that why he takes the time to fight with her...he hung up a call from the office in 80 so he can go yell at her..aaahhh if that isn't love then what is?😆

haha tell those ppl who keep asking you to take a peed at the thread...how a 20-min episode extracts so many diff pov😆 of course i have my share of dushmans when it come to ipk, they just don't get it! i know you said you niece loves the show, does she ever visit Aunt Indi"s brilliant write ups? as per all this writing helping in real life, i'm sure its already helping in many ways :)

also did you get a chance to skim over my 78-79, there is shout out to one of your best metaphors 😉 no worries if you can't, just wanted to thank you for it!


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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: indi52

^^^


🤣 🤣

wiwy, ami,


while the sautens fight, guess who's giving the massages and oh, whose hand is that on my shoulder.


Pashmeen manchanda?😭

EDIT: didn't read the "MY SOULDER" part...totally forgot about my other sauten!! you can massage him, he'll massage me 😉
Edited by BarunDiwani - 12 years ago
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: chalhov

Episode 83
Why Jijaji has the power to hurt Di ASR angry then relieved ( He does not know the real face of the two timer Snakewa)
Jijaji Jijaji Meri Didi Hai Anari


😆 Good one Chalhov! its unfortunate that ASR's first sorry stemmed from this fakewa! didi is anari but so is the saala for not recognizing him! then again with out shyaam the story would be over😕 you're getting the hand of the collages 👏👏 again nice pics!
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Posted: 12 years ago

Episode 83!!!

The episode begins with the pandit asking where the shyam is. Anjali tearfully says that he isn't here. Nani asks for the pandit to begin the pooja. As the pooja starts, shyam makes a sudden appearance, saying all the mantra the pandit was suppose to say (I am convinced he is a ninja too…it is impossiblt o walk past all those people and sit right infront of them, or next to them undectected). He smiles at Anjali, but she looks upset (You girl go…show some nahkra) shyam notices this and he seemed disheartened by this.

Khushi is sitting at her father's bedside, and thinks about Arnav's rebuke and feels sad. Suddenly Shashi shuffles in bed, and turns on his side. Khushi smiles and let go of his hand. (idk why maybe khushi feels guilty about what happened).

At the RM, Anjali is maha pissed off at her husband (as she should be), and rebukes him for not making the havan on time and also mention that they have not spent enough time together and she does not remember when the last time they actually talked. The snake doesn't make things any easier, and yells at his wife for saying what do you want me to stay with you 24/7. Anjali angrily leaves the kitchen after hearing that (I would be pissed too), the thali in hand. She goes to sit down in the lounge room with the rest of the family. The snake follows her in, and sits next to her. Anjali looks at him angrily, and moves away. She gets up and begins to walk off, but ends up dropping her thali. Before she can pick it up however, the snake is at her side and takes her in his arms. He seats her down back in the lounge room. Everyone is anxious as the snake apologises for not being there on time. Arnav hears the apology, and thinks back to what he said to Khushi. He is thoughtful. (everyone's reaction to their romance was cute…they were trying to look away and look busy…and Anjali was the typical sharmili indian girl)

Back at the GH, Khushi is on the steps and prays to Devi Maiya for her father to be alright. Payal comes and sits next to her. Payal reassures Khushi that Shashi will be alright soon. Khushi said that I can't lose my parents again…Amma and Buaji helped me last time but who will help me this time if anything happens. Khushi hugs her sister, but is thinking of what Arnav said to her, as well as what Anjali asked her - if she was thinking of her parents. Khushi is left thoughful.

At RM, Arnav is standing in front of the mirror, and is trying to say sorry. It's not possible though. (that was the cutest thing every…and did our man look good in green or what) He's struggling when Lavanya comes inside, and calls him Arnav ji. She wants to know if he'd like to go to a party, and takes out a suit jacket for him. Arnav angrily refuses saying I am not going to office today, and Lavanya apologises three times in the same breath. Arnav is left wondering ~ "saying sorry three times in one breath, how is that possible?" (again that was so cute)…la was like did you say anything and arnav was like never mind…the door bell rings and la was like that must be chamkili. He goes to get the door hoping that he can talk to her…the jp came to get the door and told him to send that person to the pool side.

At the pool side, arnav was like I am here to tell you something…and then a guy said I am use to it what you need (in a nutshell). Arnav turns around confused and was like you are you….he is like I am the clothes cleaner guy…arnav tells him to get out and Anjali comes and asked if he did anything wrong…arnav just walks past her…Anjali was like whatever

In the dining room, the family was eating, and arnav was asking when that girl that is with la in the day time is coming…la was like pam…arnav was like no…then she was like sim…she was like no…then he asksed the girl who trains you…la was like oh chamkili…la was like idk, arnav was like she should not make a habit of coming late…anjali was like she asked for the day off today…arnav made a face like I hope it was not because of me…arnav then thought the day you take off is the day I want to apologize…throughout the whole conversation shyam was listening (obviously because khushi's name was mentioned)

At the GH, shashi was asking where is shyam…and bua ji was like he is working, his work is the type where he is gone a lot…shashi was like he is a lawyer (thank you for saying that)…right then shyam comes, and shashi goes to him…and then this guy came to shyam and was like you did not come to work today so here is your stuff…Shyam is scared and shashi is suspicious as always…will shyam escape???

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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: ..Anita..

Episode 81!!!!!!!!!!

The episode starts off with garima asking shashi if shyam is good'shashi was like after what happened to payal I don't know if I can trust anyone so easily'then all of a sudden buaji comes and said shyam is da bomb diggity 🤣 🤣 and remember that shyam saved khushi's izzat'shashi is in thinking mode'and then said it is that khushi is our daughter and we are not her parents so we have a huge responsibility when it comes to her rishta'bua ji is like do you think of me as khushi's dushman'and garima is like no we are not saying no but just give us time to think (I love these parents, they are so understanding and think logically)

Khushi takes her parents to the mandir and she tells them how pretty it is and garima told her to be quiet because people are praying'khushi is making her prayer'and as she was praying arnav is walking to the mandir'he stops and he feels khushi or has the feeling that she is around'as khushi was finishing off her prayers (the scene was cute), her family was getting Prasad'the pandit sees arnav and signals that he is coming'khushi then feels something (you know the same one she gets when she feels arnav's presence) ha ha you make it sound like a disease, which perhaps it is. ' she turns around but he is gone'she tells her parents that she wants to make a manaat and will be right back'as arnav was walking with the pandit he sees a little girl crying and she was telling him her story'arnav was touched'khushi goes to the pigeon stand and asked to buy one pigeon'the pigeon selling man was like one man bought it all'khushi was thinking but selfish man would buy so many pigeons and have so many wishes'she turns around and sees a kid jumping for joy'khushi was like atleast the kid got her wish'then the kid pulls arnav's coat and he turns around' khushi got the shock of her life'.she sees arnav'the kid pulls arnav down and tells him that he is nice and she asked if her parents will be alright'he has no answer for this but he nods his head to give assurance'and then the kids kisses arnav cheek (I cannot believe I am jealous of a little girl) 😆'khushi then leaves before arnav sees her

At the GH khushi walks in her room and asked her sister that is is possible that a person can be completely different than what they appear to be'she keeps talking to herself wondering how someone could be so different

At the RM, Anjali is calling shyam but he is not picking up'she was saying that he should pick up atleast today and be here'khushi comes in and hands her a handkerchief that she finds and Anjali as like it must be my husband'his name is shyam'khushi was like I have a PG name shyam too... Anjali was like okay in a sad way and walks off'khushi says to herself if her shyam is anything like my shyam he must be a good person (what bakwaas) i was really irritated with that humare shyamji from khushi.. Khushi notices all the pooja preparation and she gets excited and wants to know what the occasion is'she asks jp but before he can say anything khushi notices the pandit telling arnav to take a shower and stuff before the pooja'and khushi is like wow dm can even make an atheist come to a pooja'arnav hears this and turns around and gives her a look'

Shyam is talking to Anjali and she is telling him that arnav is in a bad mood'shyam then said that you should have called khushi to work on this day know how arnav is (he is just thinking of excuses so he can come to the house). While talking shashi hears shyam say Rani Sahiba..and shashi was like who is RS'shyam makes some excuse to avoid more of shashi's questions'shashi is still not convinced

At the RM khushi comes to know that it is arnav's parent's barsi and she goes to him to apologize'she said that arnav has his mom's eyes'arnav hears this and tells her to leave nicely but khushi still does not get the hint'and said she understand how he feels'arnav is like no you don't you don't know how it feels to light your mom's body on fire and then your father and then enter your house were you can never go back too'so don't tell me that you understand no one ever will'khushi starts to cry and arnav was like your tears might work on my family but not on me so don't waste them and he tells her to get out (very emotional scene)

At the GH shyam is giving tea to shashi and garima'and bua ji was just bragging about that fool like no tomorrow'then all of a sudden shashi grabs his right arm'he is having a heart attack and the episode ends. Will shashi be alright??? Will arnav find out that khushi understands his pain??


anita, you are here, how nice. as usual, happy read. my guffaws and comments in blue. really, what was buaji mixing in her tea, how could she get taken in by the slither? couldn't she hear the hiss? or maybe all her sensory organs were blocked up by her own oodles of sadness at being a childless widow and that lucknow connection and his schmoozing just did her in.
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: chalhov

It was a very uphill task for ASR who decided to say sorry to Khushi for shouting at her and did not know that her parents had passed away and very amusing to see him trying to practice and for once on the receiving end very well enacted by Barun, both amusing and felt bad for ASR
sorry baba sorry mujhko maaf kardo na phir na galatee hogee, abb dil saf kardo na Mirror Mirror on the wall how to say sorry tell me tell me


sorry is a tough tasked to say especially if you don't have a habit of saying it, even towards family
barun did a fab job...it was chuckling but yet feeling bad for him

and what awesome pictures...i am too busy drooling at them
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: indi52


anita, you are here, how nice. as usual, happy read. my guffaws and comments in blue. really, what was buaji mixing in her tea, how could she get taken in by the slither? couldn't she hear the hiss? or maybe all her sensory organs were blocked up by her own oodles of sadness at being a childless widow and that lucknow connection and his schmoozing just did her in.


in that maroon red brown color (idk what to call it), i never thought of it like that!!!👏
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: chalhov

Episode 83
Why Jijaji has the power to hurt Di ASR angry then relieved ( He does not know the real face of the two timer Snakewa)
Jijaji Jijaji Meri Didi Hai Anari 😆🤣


sadly arnav learned to say sorry because of him...but shyam always knew how to make arnav to do the right thing unintentionally...too bad for shyam it was always for khushi
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: indi52

eposode 82

"main chauda saal ka tha..." i was 14 years old. he always remembers that, as do those around him. that was the moment of tragedy. and as happens with such things somehow your own coordinates when devastation strikes take on a funny significance. just like the caps we make from episodes and set them aside in time, a still from a moving frame, so do these details get frozen, caps within us, never to change, or add on the signs of time.

he was only 14, but she was only eight.
and he feels so bad and hurt for the little eight year old but then back to his ASR ways but some ice will be broken

i began to see why the little girl was at the temple yesterday. the story design is really nifty. the device is a truly creative one. she is used beautifully to reveal a side of asr, and let khushi see it. of course, as you watched him engage with her and touch his face, you couldn't help but think was she there because his mother wanted to send someone to ease his pain (of course, you'd have to be as filmi as me to come to this thought and howl your guts out). Indi I am very fimy and still the tears dont stop pouring when I see a sad heartwarming scene and when I read these comments I feel happy there are many like me she adds a lightness and innocence to the heavy emotional episode. but also, and very subtly she is there to allow us to empathise with khushi. khushi was about that age when she lost both her parents. as we see khushi suffering and pained by her own memories, our recent memory of a sweet chubby little girl sad in a temple wanting to make her father better is surely adding to our response. we have been shown how tender an age that is, and how devastated the little girl must have been. loved this description

despite khushi's stars, her devotion to dm, and her constant khushigiri, there is a part of her where that pain sits thick, dense, heavy, dark. she does her best not to look at it too often or moan and mope. but it isn't humanly possible to erase it completely. Yes the sunshine girl does not mop much he hides her hurt in deep reccess of her mind which only she experiences does not share she is the action girl so when ASR disappeared she went in search for him and slowly mami NK got attached

another thing. when you are in such a state, the one who comes and gives you hope, makes you feel better you attach to them in a different way. asr went to the little girl, helped her, then sent her home. the girl will never forget this man. khushi's babuji came and held her in a time of shattering and took her home. can khushi ever forget this man? he was not related to her, she was the niece of his second wife, yet he embraced her, protected her, and became her father, more than that. her love and her gratitude and born of that, her right over him, all are complete and the purest feeling on earth. Awesome explanation

in this episode, both these aspects of khushi's character come to light and continue the story poignantly. but everything had started climbing to the next level at the ajeeb stage really, and grown through all the games of khushi's-believe-it-or-not-gaming arcade, la la land, and the thief of lucknow. the lopsided smile, the long look exchanged while his girlfriend rubbed his cheek, the earring and the dupatta embroilment, the tum theek ho, an incredibly huge emotion had started spreading its roots and anchoring firmly through these tiny almost fleeting moments. in them seems rode hamesha.

Samjhe ishare
Dheere dheere
Naino ko dheere dheere
Jiya ko dheere dheere
Bhayo re saibo

Dheere dheere
Naino ko dheere dheere
Apna sa dheere dheere
Lage re saibo

Surkhiyan hai hawaon mein
Do dilon ke milne ki
Ha haan arziya hai nazaron mein
Lamha yeh tham jane ki

awesome description of ASR Anjili Khushi

so happened that all this happened just when the most tough time of the year for him was coming up. into the middle of that khushi charged her shaadi brigade. and all feelings went haywire. yet what had begun to grow, would not be denied. just that we'd see its most demanding and ugly face... as we did much later on a dark february night. but did anyone ever say that love had only a nice side? and isn't it true that we tend to take out our frustration on those we love and are closest to, while choosing to be polite and nice to people at a distance? it is strange, but then that's how it is. i have tried much to change this in my life, but really have failed. irritation in me means someone at home is going to get it, not the casual visitor. asr never showed his pain to anyone, not even di (how quickly he piulled back the evning before after giving in to his feelings for a few seconds), yet he let it all out in a nasty session to khushi. says something, doesn't it?

when having seen him with the child, having realised he is going through hell, and really wanting to reach out and help him,

khushi came and said his eyes were like his mother's, his pent up pain, sadness, helplessness, everything, everything that he could never talk to anyone about just crashed and shot up and fulminated like that flour from the box that khushi threw on the floor the day before in the kitchen. the force of it engulfed her and tossed violently her own agony within.


khushi would have left but for naniji. and of course, when he saw her with the platter filled with things meant for his parents' anniversary prayer, he grabbed it from her.

"i told you to go."

"woh nani ji ne..."


"shraddh ki taiyyaari sirf gharwale karte hain. aur maine tumse abhi kaha tha na, jhuti tassali dene wale log mujhe bilkul pasand nahin hai. aaj ka din mere liye bahut important hai aur aaj ke din mujhe tumhari shakal dekhni pade yeh mujhe bilkul pasand nahin hai." only family members are allowed to do these preparations, i told you i can't stand people who show false sympathy, today is an important day for me, and on this day to have to see your face isn't something i want.

how cruel can the tongue get.

"get out." she just couldn't take it any more, she hurried away, never saw him turning to look at her ... a pace to her walk, she has to get away. but di interrupted her, what about the tears on her face.

"kya hua?" what happened?

"kissine kuch kaha kya?" did anyone say anything?

anjali's pain is expressed in sharp contrast to her brother's. she becomes more tender, sensitive, concerned. "aapko apne amma aur bauji ki yaad aa rahi hai?" you're remembering your parents? anjali knows of khushi's background.

and khushi becomes 8 years old again before our eyes, like that little girl in the temple. the eager nod, trusting, wanting her parents back. they never do return. then the 18 year old spunky kid who has taken on this world in her own way returns and says what all those who have lost say to themselves and others all over the world:


"aur kar bhi kya sakte hain, anjali ji, jo guzar jaate hai, hum unhe kitna bhi bula lein, woh wapas nahin aate hain. sirf unki yaad aati hai."
what else can we do, anjali ji, those who pass on, however much we may call them, they don't return. only their memories come.

anjali completes the thought beautifully: their memories and their blessings on us.

unknown to both a young man watches and his devastated anew. what's has he gone and done. his cruelty is at last noticed by him. "yeh maine kya kar diya... mujhe iss tarah baat nahin karne chahiye this." what have i gone and done, i shouldn't have spoken this way.
he must apologise. but jai prakash interrupts him about some call.
"main phone uthaunga ya pooja mein baithunga," always in character, brusque. he's looking for her, and she's gone.


khushi khushi... she's not there.

sanaya was outstanding in her scenes today. especially when she practically transforms into a little kid at anjali's question and then gives in to the offered hug, letting her tears flow. then she returns home to hear her babuji isn't well. why didn't anyone call me? she's frantic. frenetic chucking of bag and she rushes into the bedroom, to hug and hold close the man who made sure a girl of eight didn't lose her childhood. why do i get the feeling that what di is to asr, babuji is to khushi? someone who keeps it all steady. someone, looking at whom, they want to go to the next day, do something. live.


this story was as much about khushi as about asr. that's why we all keep coming back... for there was something real here and every character mattered. when we come to the episodes when that nature of ipk changes it will be difficult. but this episode? wonderful writing, direction, performance, screenplay design, dialogues, and of course, music, rabba vey around his harshness, in their tears and anger and inexpressible sadness. the music knows them better than they know themselves.

the shradh scene. in death also you remain family. mother daughter sister aunt. a grandson consoles his grandmother. he's getting his nightmare, hands clenched.


Loved the way you decsribed its must have hurt ASR real bad and this is a very sensitive issue loosing the parents which Khushi also underwent and her sympathy was geniune but the nave way she handles everything she appears immature to him whereas Nani and all have realised the depth of her character. ASR dos not want to accept her goodness he is afraid that he will be unable to control he deep emotions that he feels when he sees Khushi. like you said the other day he does not want any ripples in his depth of his ocean(ripples) he does not know each day he is going deeper and deeper ASR is fighting it out by trying to insult put the blame on her here one more song comes to my mind with ASR and Khushi it will always be this now unknown lter they will also realise
Kitne bhi tu kar le sitam, has haske sahenge hum
Yeh pyaar na hoga kam sanam teri kasam
Ho, sanam teri kasam, sanam teri kasam
Kitne bhi tu kar le sitam, has haske sahenge hum
Yeh pyaar na hoga kam sanam teri kasam
Ho, sanam teri kasam, sanam teri kasam
(Jitna tadpaayegi mujhko, utna hi tadpegi tu bhi
Jo aaj hai aarzoo meri voh kal teri aarzoo hogi
Yeh jhooth nahin sach hai sanam, sanam teri kasam
Ho, sanam teri kasam, sanam teri kasam
Nafrat se dekhna pehle andaaz pyaar ka hai yeh
Kuch hai aankhon ka rishta, gussa ikraar ka hai yeh
Bada pyaara hai tera zulam, sanam teri kasam
Ho, sanam teri kasam, sanam teri kasam
Kitne bhi tu kar le sitam, has haske sahenge hum
Yeh pyaar na hoga kam sanam teri kasam
Ho, sanam teri kasam, sanam teri kasam
Somehow my mind always thinks in terms of songs Indi lovely and emotional captures loved your take and the post
Edited by chalhov - 12 years ago
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: indi52


"life is pain, highness. anyone who says differently is selling something."
~~~ william goldman, william goldman: four screenplays ~~~


episode 79

"gayi."

khushi spun around as she heard asr's voice. a second ago, anjali was standing there, but now this terrifyingly angry asr. a chilling expression, striking fear in the heart.


his voice had a cold flatness to it, burnt at the edges by something. what was it?

"kya sochke tumne mera phone kata tha... tumhe toh lagta hai bolne ka haq sirf tumhe hai... hai na?" silver voice... argentum ascending. what were you thinking when you disconnected my call? you must be thinking only you have the right to speak. a cold flow of anger.


just minutes ago he sat at the table by his sister, grim and upset about the whole marriage fracas. in fact, it had impacted him so deeply he had a splitting headache. this was unlike him. asr... rugged, robust, ready to take on anything. and now suddenly a serious attack of migraine, his eyes almost losing focus at the gnaw of the throbbing ache.
of course, somehow barun made it look all so real, facial muscles slackening, eyes going numb, head not so firmly held, i wanted to go give the fellow a massage. (see i did want to become a nurse and it's only that instinct which made me think that, okay?)



i'd been wondering about his reaction to shaadi talk. i understood that he was contemporary in thinking and the tragedy at a very vulnerable age had laft an ugly impact. akash had said as much to khushi the night of the rain. i could hear him vehemently state that marriage was not a thing he believed in. yet, couldn't really understand why. something more than just a dislike of a tradition that holds no meaning for him.

"tumhe achanak ho kya gaya hai..." he exclaimed to lavanya. what's happened to you all of a sudden? he was tired, the day had brought things he was completely unprepared for and which seemed to touch a raw nerve.

"subah tum mere liye chai lekar aayi. aur wo bhi aise kapdo mein jaise wo... pause, clench jaw... khsuhi kumari gupta pehenti hai" you brought tea for me in the morning, and that too wearing clothes like that khushi kumari gupta.

he just couldn't keep it all in, a spate of words as he took off his waist coat, and la stood by with his towel and change in her new found churidar kameez look. he admonished her every marriage oriented move. she kept quiet... and suddenly his anger collided with a strange frequency.

"react dammit, answer me." he whirled around and flung the words at her.

to la's credit, she didn't cower. in fact, she asked him what was the problem with marriage, they were living together anyway, so what was the issue in taking the relationship to its logical end and giving it a name.

somewhere in the middle of her last sentence, his eyes went icy cold licked by fire. had i been la, that would be the cue to run, but today she was determined. sometimes she was just all la, her own person, her own ideas. like when she paid for khushi's pizza without fuss, almost generous in her approach.

"iss baare mein mujhe dubara baat nahin karni." am not going to talk about this again. he slammed the door shut with his words. la took the cue from his rage, showed some of her own as she threw down the towel (oh oh was there a visual pun there by the makers? funny guys) and left.😆

all i could feel was a grating kind of pain trickling around inside the frame, threatening to blow it to bits. then at the table, in di's words, just a hint. she knows chhotey hates marriage, but he must understand that their mother and father -

he cut her off mid sentence. no, he didn't want to talk about that. finally, i began to understand. so the objection to marriage was really to do with his parents' experience. and recalling it, or going anywhere near it was just hard on him. for the last couple of days it had been nothing but marriage talk. the girl he thought he could trust and have a relationship with where both wanted the same things, was suddenly hell bent on something that only hurt him.

hurt. extreme hurt. and unresolved pain.

that was what it was all about. he could never bring himself to say it in so many words, but this was what was wearing him down. he just didn't want to go there. by 80, we knew the added layer of struggle and churn within. it was just a day before his parents death anniversary. he anyway was vulnerable, fragile. on top of that, this incessant band baja barat talk.

"feelings are disturbing. people are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. how can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? pain is meant to wake us up. people try to hide their pain. but they're wrong. pain is something to carry, like a radio. you feel your strength in the experience of pain. it's all in how you carry it. that's what matters. pain is a feeling. your feelings are a part of you. your own reality. if you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. you should stand up for your right to feel your pain."
~~~ jim morrison ~~~


he had tried to take matters in hand. threaten khushi into submission, and get her to stop brain washing la, but khushi was not in a mood to talk to him. when she walked in this morning, despite that headache, he tried to talk to her. again she escaped into the kitchen.

interestingly, the screenplay presented a topsy turvy scenario. pain at one end, prank at the other. somehow it worked. made both seem keener, and further etched the characters.

here was a man in deep and utter pain. his entire being in the grip of a trauma. his every word taut, torn from him almost. nothing light about him or in the air that shuffled around him, hushed and quiet, mindful of his state of mind. the air and his di, they seemed to be the only ones who knew he suffered.

then there was khushi. she had no notion whatsoever of the state he was in. to her, he was being his usual laad governor, rakshas self and trying to scare her so that she'd stop her shaadi plans. she was not keen to get into a scuffle with him, and her strategy was to flummox the adversary and get out of all tricky situations with her ajeeb khushi strategies. first the phone games. then the avoid at the table.


but now. now what? he stood in front of her, and for a second it looked like there was no escape.

then she dropped the container of flour. on purpose.


a loud noise, and a burst of white powder, rising like a geyser, spattering his face, his clothes. hot tea the other day, dry powder now. he flinched and turned away, felt as though this had hurt more than the scalding beverage. a pent up emotion tried for release but lay trapped in a suffocating container somewhere.




mamiji walked into the kitchen.

he sneezed. "gaad bilass, arnav bitwa." a few saucy mami comments about cooking kilass being taken by him and again asr had to walk away without saying what he wanted to.

but he did turn to look at her once more. why? because he was angry? because he was hurt? because he just had to? maybe a bit of all of that? certainly a threat in his look, he's going to get her.


today everything was in his voice. and that curiously moist eyed, not so taut face. a searing in the timbre of his voice, a fragility on his face. there was a loneliness in him that felt devastating. a distance from all around him. this song has come from nowhere and been playing in my head ever since i saw 79 and heard 80. the last stanza... patthar ka ashna mile/patthar ka devta mile/sheeshe ka dil liye jaaoon kahan, reminded me of him. not that he didn't have a dil, just that it was so very fragile.
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GrqxZCSEH0[/YOUTUBE]
credit: uploader

a few snapshots from 79

1.


"aap?" you?

"haan main, kyun? meri awaz sunke kaat dogi." yes, me, why? hearing my voice you'll slam the phone down? he's terse and clipped and dare i say, hot. those camera movements, picking his every expression and reflection, makes him look hotter still. it's like looking at him through a kaleidoscope. maybe a hint of that fragmenting within him, part of him falling to pieces, trying to stay together?


2.

"aap bolte rahiye
," keep talking, in a sweet voice.

"bakwas band karo," stop the nonsense, a sour rejoinder.

"tumhe kya lagta hai... tum koi bhi patti padake lavanya ke shaadi ke baare mein khayal badal dogi... tumne samjh kya rakha hai hume," what do you think, you can fool lavanya into buying into your marriage idea... who do you think i am. gosh, he sounds like a mogul, haughty and sexy.

"ha ha hum kal aayenge na aur kal hum aapko aur bhi cheezen sikha denge, jaise karwa chauth, navratra ke rasm, suhagan ki cheezen, sab kuch sikha denge." yeah i'll come tomorrow and teach you many things, about karwa chauth, navratra, rituals for married women, teach you everything. she's chirpy... making sure her parents think all is well, it's only her eager student calling.

"what." flat and uff deadly.

3.

she offers shyam ticket money. shyam is upset. the hurt act. and then the cute cup of tea chicane. well, hope when he is ready to have it, she gets him a nice hot cup and pours it on his head.

4.

gaon ki gori attack, la with food in chamkili wear. i have made for "aap" food with my own hands. this oft heard hindi movie line, usually offered by sultry village belle to her grimy farmer husband under a hot sweat inducing sun, always has me wondering. if not with your own hands you will cook, then with whose? why is "i've made it" not enough? milad, point note kiya jaaye.

5.

a father and a loving daughter. she is alive to his every thought and need. he is not looking relaxed, very worried. she must assure him all will be well. he mustn't feel bad that she's working. yes, she is not their real daughter, but they are everything to her. oh, khushi never can quite forget that her family adopted her when she became homeless. which is why perhaps she always tries harder, always wants to give, to make it all alright for everyone. endless love and gratitude for her people. perhaps just a slight bit of insecurity too. by 81 we know, just as she feels that extra bit of responsibility toward her father, mother, sister, aunt, so does her father feel it toward her. he is aware that because he is not her biological father, he must be extra cautious in making sure all goes well with her life. how very touching these relationships.


6.
"thank you, mamiji."
"belcome, naat."


7.
she is lurking around trying to avoid him. he sees her.

"hilne ki koshish bhi mat karna, jab tak meri baat khatam nahin ho jaati. .. yehin khadi raho. haath bhi mat hilana... tumhe kya laga... ki tum..." don't even try to move, till i finish saying what i have to, keep standing, don't move your hands even.. what did you think, taht you-

she pretends to be dizzy. he is only concern, instantly.

"
khushi.." gah, why does that voice strike right where the ticker ticks. i am too toughened and ad for this. but no, har baar his voice does it. actor. "khushii!" "khushi?"

how to hate this heartless, godless, marriageless man.

"khushi..."

"jaldi paani lekar aaiye..." quickly get water... did she just order him?

okay. just for a second he feels the dupe. then he runs to get her water. and she escapes. such a crazy sexy scene.

"one word
frees us of all the weight and pain of life:
that word is love."

~~~ sophocles ~~~

Indi, splendid job as always!!! light, refreshing and entertaining 👏⭐️👏 LOVED it all, and how you manage to pull out so much is abs amazing to me...like Arnav's headache portayed to perfection by Barun...awesome description! you can see by all the purple all my fav parts...it was hard to choose. these lines really stuck out
pain at one end, prank at the other- great pickup on that, something i felt but didn't think to put it in writing, so many things about this show that make it unique and certainly the maker's ability to pull this off...such a special show!


hurt. extreme hurt. and unresolved pain. - so powerful these words, and that last one "unresolved" makes me think about the wedding track...that apparently was supposted to resolve this pain?? how quikcly he forgave Garima,i don't even have a problem with him forgiving her, he realized it was his dad's fault...but how quickly he got over it, compared to what we see here, deep pain, that need tremendous attention to get resolved..justice wasn't done for the closure of this aspect of his life, a big chunk of what makes ASR...ASR 😭


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