Originally posted by: Nandalala
Loved every bit of what you said Di...He is the killer who takes no prisoners, I tell you. He is a drug in his own right!
I just fear my 'choti si duniya' is slowly disappearing; came on for a minute, and we are now at part two of the 'Barbarians at the Gates." Today Sanaya did exactly what we feared she would. When will this end? Ughh, first reel character slandering, now "real" character slandering...This is incomprehensible...A sick, pathetic game...
hi anjali,
first hug.
we'll be fine at the end of all this. so will barun. and sanaya. i have no doubt.
fortunately, i have not read "barbarians" nor watched, heard, any of the interviews. it was hard not to hear the noreen khan one, but i knew i'd pick up shades and frequencies of the chaos in his voice and i couldn't bear that.
thinking back.
barun hit me at a place where there is no logic. i decided to apply my rational powers and act on the basis of the answer to the question:
will i let this into my life?
standing where i was at 51 where life had given me many experiences and left its mark, looking at and feeling all the feelings i had for the people in my life and my commitment to those relationships, sensing somewhere walking away would be dishonest and cowardly and here was a doorway to another world an unknown dimension (remember alice?), and a few other musings,
i answered: yes.
i have never needed barun to be anyone but himself. onscreen he kept his deal with me beyond the brief. did he know how good he was, or how it affected us? did he try to? or was it just the way he was? no idea. some things just go outside the limit of words and rational analysis.
that stuff is always precious, a hint at the beyond.
anyway, for me barun with his pauses, awkward replies and gaffes, his unguarded, don't give a damn, just himself air was always precious. in fact, indispensable. that's what made him worth spending time on, apart from all the hotness and all that stuff onscreen. of course, even there i could see an actor trying, going deep, with an intensity i've rarely seen, an unusually honest professional. a boy with no training in acting who casually entered modelling and tv because his friends said you're good looking, the dedication in such a boy held me rapt.
it is his lack of fudge, of game, that keeps me here, not an expectation of meeting saint barun. a human, with failings, with miracle. both his equally.
fudge is for the so called real world we live in. it is everywhere. let it enter you, and the miracle bids adieu.
i hope for him that never happens.
for he has taken me to spaces i had no idea of.
so let the barbarians carry on. speaking of which, in morocco i met a berber man, can't tell you how beautiful he looked. so how come i'd always heard "barbar" are ugly, and what's this with barbaric barbarian, etc.? ah, these were the lovely people of the nile valley who once were very powerful, guys that invaded the prosperous greeks and actually challenged them. but finally they lost, to the greeks, the arabs, whoever. and another fudge was born.
interesting, our reality. how we live between thick layers of lies interspersed by hairline fractures of truth.
sorry for going on. have you read farha's account of how she let barun into her intimate space? we all struggled. but now that we are here.
Edited by indi52 - 12 years ago
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