It was a snowy evening as I was sipping my coffee inside a cafe, waiting for my best friend, Janna to be done her shift. My eyes wandered off in to the busy streets of New York; everyone rushing to go home away from the cold weather. Before I knew it Janna tapped on me on the shoulder, "I am done Khushi, let's go before the cold gets worse." Letting out a huge sigh I got up from my seat ready to leave, as I was about to open the entrance door, someone else opened it from outside. Right there in front of me stood, the boy who built me up, and completely destroyed me; Arnav Raziada. I felt my body stand still and the surroundings around me froze, as I kept staring and deep within my body, I felt my heart sinking down, literally aching. Janna probably noticed the tension in the air and decided to break it. "Khushi, sweetie it's getting colder we better get going...'', Janna said pulling my arm, but I just couldn't move. Then Arnav finally decided to say something, ''Hey Khushi... um how are you? It's being a while ...'' I raised one of my eyebrows as if to say 'you have no right to ask me that question, you lying jerk' Arnav flinched understanding what I was thinking by reading my eyes; he was always good at that. Finding my voice I said, '' Janna lets go'' and we left the cafe without another word.
***
Janna and I both graduated high school last year, and we moved to New York from Colorado, to go to university here. It was our dream to move to New York and so far it has been great; with our own apartment, which we both pay half, each. It wasn't easy living in New York so Janna and I work part time; she works at the cafe not far from our apartment and I work at the bookshop. Starting fresh, coming to New York was my plan and goal, but it was all ruined today when I saw Arnav again. The shadows of my past are back to haunt me again, trapping me within its jail.
Once we came back to the apartment I dumped myself on the couch, staring off in to space going through flashbacks. Noticing my silent battle within myself, Janna decide to go make some hot chocolate for me. She honestly was the best friend a girl could ever have. I couldn't understand why this was happening again, the feelings that I was trying so hard to get rid of is coming back to me again. The anger, hurt, and love just came back to me like a sudden eruption from a volcano; it just wasn't fair. My train of thought was interrupted when Janna brought hot chocolate to the living room.
"Here you go Khushi, I hope this will make you feel better,'' Janna said handing me the mug. I couldn't help, but laugh since we just drank coffee at the cafe. Janna looked at me confused, " what's so funny?'' "Well we just had coffee and we are now drinking hot chocolate. I just found that funny'' Janna rolled her eyes, " you dork'' I stuck out my tongue at her and sighed in exhaustion. The quiet silence took over for a while and then Janna decided to end it. "So sweetie are you okay?'', Janna asked me concern etched in her voice.
Giving her a weary smile I replied with great difficulty, "I guess so, seeing Arnav just gave me flashbacks that's all, but I am over it. After all it is the past and I rather not dwell there and just look forward to the future.'' Janna smiled proudly at me, "That's my girl! You don't want that jerk to be happy." I nodded in agreement with her, but in my heart it was a different story. Arnav was my first love and my first boyfriend, I gave him everything and before he came in to my life I was a broken vessel waiting for someone to love me. Honestly I was so happy, but I was blind. The whole relationship was a lie, he had a bet with his friends that he could ask me out in a month and sadly I fell for his tricks. He embarrassed me in front of everyone, the day he confessed that it was a bet at a party. Worst, painful and humiliating situation I had to ever face in high school. Since then I returned back to my destroyed vessel, but I recovered a little thanks to Janna. Once we moved to New York my goal was to change and focus on my future. Although, once again reality hit me in the gut, by bringing Arnav to New York. My train of thought was interrupted by Janna again. "Khushi, honey I think you need to get some rest, since tomorrow we have no classes you can sleep in too", Janna said concern in her eyes. I smiled; it was so like Janna to be the motherly figure to me, "Yeah I think you're right. Good night Janna," I said hugging her tight and heading off to bed. Changing in to my pyjamas, I looked at myself in the mirror. Dark black hair, hazel eyes, creamy fair skin, average height and thin figure looked back at me. It took my years to gain some self confidence and I don't mind the way I look anymore, because this who I am and nothing is going to change that. My body felt tired so without another thought I let myself fall on to my bed, closing my eyes as I let myself fade in to the shadows of the night.
***
The next morning I woke up early and decided to go out for a jog; before Janna woke up. Getting myself in to my sweat pants and sweater I set off in to the cold air. The light breeze brushed against my cheeks, giving me goose bumps all over my body. Looking around I saw the thin layer of snow resting on the sidewalks; it sure was beautiful. Taking a few deep breaths, after my long jog I decided to take a seat on one of the park benches. Closing my eyes I breathed in the fresh air and listened to the silence surrounding me.
"Khushi is that you?'' I heard a voice I've tried so desperately to escape from. I snapped opened my eyes to see Arnav standing there with a puzzled expression written all over his face. The blood started pumping and my heart started beating. He stood before me, still looking handsome; well cut black hair, hazel eyes, tanned skin tone, structured cheek bones , well built body and tall in height. He sure was any girls dream, but sadly he was a player that took relationships for a joke. Suddenly realizing that I hadn't said anything I felt my cheeks getting warmer by the minute, probably blushing; curse my stupid pale skin! I decided to respond in a cold tone, "Yeah what do you want?'' His eyes softened as he looked in to my own hazel eyes. "Nothing, you came out for a walk?'', he asked me in his beautiful voice, I used to love listening to, and still secretly do. Getting up from my bench I used my cold tone again to reply, "Yeah now if you will excuse me I have to get back home.''
As I was about to leave Arnav gripped my wrist, "wait Khushi.'' The chills went through my spine and I turned around to face him, "what do you want Arnav?'' I asked, feeling myself whisper. He whisperd back, "can we talk? Please I need to talk to you Khushi.'' Building up all my strength I snatched my wrist away from him. "There is nothing to say Arnav, everything was said and done. You pretty much proved it at the party last year." Arnav closed his eyes probably remembering every detail that happened at the party. Then he replied in a pleading tone, "Khushi I made a huge mistake! At first it was for the bet, but then we started getting close and I actually fell for you. I got scared so I went with the plan that day, at the party, and I realized after you left, how stupid it was. I want to make everything right again Khushi, please can you give me a second chance?"
Tears sprung out of my eyes and I backed away, shaking my head then I ran, ran as if my life depended on it. I just couldn't listen to him anymore it was all too confusing. Almost falling down as I opened the apartment door and slammed it shut behind me. Crumpling to the floor I leaned against the door out of breath. Janna who was reading a magazine looked up at me, shocked, "Khushi is everything okay?!'' I broke down holding on to her and told her everything what happened at the park. She hugged me tight and took me to the couch. We sat there for a while until Janna finally let go off me and started with her words of wisdom. "Khushi I think you need to think through this very well and don't rush on this honey. Things happen for a reason and it might seem crazy now, but there's a reason why this is all coming back to you. Now I don't want you to think through this with the blade Khushi. Please you promised me long time back.'' Closing my eyes I let her words sink in and I knew she was right, but it was hard to accept. Checking the time Janna got up soon and hugged me. "I have to go to work now Khushi, but please don't do anything stupid''; she said leaving soon before she was late. Taking in everything I went to my bed room and sat for a while thinking through what happened today... That's when I knew Arnav deserved a second chance, because everyone deserves a second chance some part of their life; it was a world of chances...
***
Reading this I wonder if I grew as a writer or stayed the same.. lol Either way comment or like if enjoyed. :) Thanks for reading!
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Anupamaa
