Note: this OS is an extended version of chapter 20 of my ff, Shameless..
OS: Tearful Goodbyes
By: TINA!
Arnav's heart sensed Khushi as soon as she entered his hospital room.
His soul recognized her hesitant footsteps, her trembling breaths, her pounding heartbeat as if they were his own.
He braced himself, but just then, she came near his right side, looking down at him with tears pouring down her small, beautiful face.
"Arn..Arnav.." she whispered softly, her voice breaking.
Khushi could barely breathe as she observed him. Her husband looked so weak as he lay on the narrow white hospital bed, a jumble of cables and tubes connected to him. A thick, red-stained bandage was wrapped around his bare chest, Khushi stared at it worriedly.
Arnav swallowed painfully, his heart tugging painfully in his chest. With a trembling hand, he reached for her hand, entwining his fingers with hers.
She cried at the contact, placing her other hand over their clasped hands, gripping him tightly.
"Khu..Khushi," he barely managed to say.
She sobbed softly, unable to speak.
He rubbed his thumb soothingly across her palm, "Shh, baby.."
Her tears though seemed to only increase at his words, her body shaking as she stood at his side.
He tugged her down beside him so she was sitting just barely on the hospital bed.
"Please, baby. You've got to listen to me." He was hardly able to keep his own tears at bay.
He closed his eyes..God, how was he supposed to do this..
For the first time in a long time, he prayed for something..strength to say the words he had to say..
"Arnav!" she cried urgently, touching his still face with trembling fingers.
He opened his eyes at her frantic call, looking at her comfortingly. "Shh, I'm still here."
She nodded, leaning down, kissing his hands in hers.
He watched her bowed down face with a throbbing twinge in his heart.
His wife was so beautiful, inside and out..so young..so innocent..and had experienced so much pain..
He shuddered. Everything against her had been a well planted lie..those letters, the news stories of affairs and lovers, everything..
And she was still at danger.
He'd failed to protect her.
That thought gave him some purpose, and with sudden resoluteness, he met her terrified gaze. "Listen to me, Khushi," he said again, "We have only a few minutes left."
She nodded, looking down at him worriedly. Sobs still engulfed her, but she'd quieted.
He took in a deep breath.
This was it.
"There's someone after you Khushi, someone who wants to kill you at all costs. I didn't see the person clearly when I was running after them, just saw a long black raincoat, a black hood of some sort..But you're in danger Khushi, great danger."
He looked up at her worriedly, his eyes fearful.
"I may not be there Khushi," he murmured, his voice soft, yet firm, "You might have to face this on your own.."
Khushi froze as the meaning of his words fully hit her.
Was he saying Goodbye to her?
Her heart stilled in her chest, she looked down at him horror-stricken.
"What are you saying Arnav?" she said loudly, "Nothing will happen to you. We'll solve everything, face everything together."
Face everything together..her words echoed in Arnav's head dully. It was something one expected a loving wife to say to her husband. But Arnav had never expected that to apply to him.
When he'd been a child, his mother had explained to him about marriages..about how God had created someone special for each person. About how a wonderful princess would enter his life and change it forever..And for a long time, he'd believed his mother's words..with his whole heart and soul..
Marriage had meant something sacred, something pure to him.
But then his mother had died, leaving him alone and broken. Even today, those wounds marked his soul, scarring him.
In the dark days that followed, he'd quickly grown up, giving up on dreams of love, marriage, happiness.
Her death had shattered his world and his father's actions had shattered his beliefs.
Marriage had become a mockery for him.
If marriages were like what his mom and dad had shared, he wanted nothing to do with it.
He vowed that he would never allow someone to even come close to his heart, let alone capture it.
But Khushi had come..
She'd literally fallen into his life..and he'd been helpless to stop her..although God knew, he'd tried.
But maybe, what his mom had told him long ago and his Di had repeated to him was true..there was someone special for each person and once you found that person, you just couldn't let go.
And for him, Arnav knew with a surety that scared him still, that person was Khushi.
She was the princess his mother had always told him would enter his life one day..
A tear escaped Arnav's eye, "I pray that happens, but Khushi, there's a good chance it may not. You need to be prepared."
"NO!" shouted Khushi, holding his hand to her chest, "Listen to me, Arnav. Believe me, nothing will happen to you."
He smiled weakly at her. "I wish that's true. But be realistic, Khushi. The doctors have told me the chances I have. You have to realize that I may not make it..you must come to terms with that.."
"NO!" shouted Khushi again, her eyes flashing. "I refuse to even consider that. How can you give up like this? Do you want to leave me?"
Arnav's heart tugged at her pain-filled words.
Leave her? God, if it was up to him, he would tie her to him..not spend a moment apart. But he didn't have a choice.
His body was weak, and he was powerless. Completely powerless. He, who'd believed himself to be invincible once.
He closed his eyes tightly, it wasn't fair..
His mother had spoken of a girl entering his life, but she'd never warned him that each moment with her might be the last.
That his love could be so easily snatched from him..
He held onto Khushi's hand as tightly as he could. "I'm not giving up. I will fight this to the death. But Khushi, you have to be realistic. Please, baby, please promise me..otherwise I won't be able to relax."
Sobs rocked Khushi's thin body.
This couldn't be happening. The man she loved more than anything, anyone..the one whose name she had remembered when she couldn't remember her own..the husband with whom she had fallen deeper and deeper in love with couldn't be asking this of her..
How could this be happening?
Khushi's soul twisted.
Arnav watched her pained expression with his heart breaking..He loved her so much..and he was giving her pain upon pain..how had it all come to this?
But then she noticed the tears in his eyes and that shiny sheen shook her to the core.
She nodded forcefully, "I promise you anything, love. Just fight this. Please, you have to. I'll die without you.."
She fell against his side, crying.
Arnav's chest constricted at her words..she'd called him love..how long he'd wanted this..how long he'd dreamed of this moment..
And for it to happen now..when he was almost at death's door..it wasn't fair..
But then when had life had ever been fair to him, mused Arnav.
Fate had snatched his mother from him, pushed his Di into a marriage with a sickening man, and was now pulling Khushi from him, the only woman he'd ever loved..
His jaw tightened painfully. But his eyes fell just then on the clock above..they had just six minutes left, and he had so much left to say..
"Listen, Khushi," he said, "You can get in touch with Aman. I trust him. He'll help you. I have other properties, ones no one knows about. You can chose whatever you want, run away, take Buaji with you, build a new life.."
Khushi's eyes widened as his words penetrated her brain.
"What are you saying, love. Please, stop. I can't bear it.." she whispered, heartbroken.
She placed her fingers gently against his smooth lips, stopping him.
He kissed her fingertips, but shook his head.
Arnav's eyes were hard as they met hers, "This is important, Khushi. Take Buaji or.." he glanced away from her, "..or take NK, he'll take care of you."
"What!" exclaimed Khushi, shocked.
He glanced back at her, his eyes darkened, "I've always thought NK was the perfect person for you..he's carefree, happy, sunny like you, and he doesn't come with all my baggage. He's not a scarred man like me."
Arnav looked away from her. He wasn't able to meet her gaze.
NK was exactly the type of man Khushi deserved.
Not someone like him..who had only learned what love was when Khushi had stepped into his life..Who had failed to protect her..Who lay helpless like a child on the hospital bed..
Shock followed by outrage coursed through Khushi.
She grasped Arnav's face in her shaking hands, forcing him to meet her gaze.
"Listen to me, Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada. I. Love. You. I have always loved you, and I will always love you, only you."
Tears streamed down her eyes as she continued, "And I want only you..with your temper, your flaws, your baggage, your scars. You are the only one who completes me. You are the only man for me.."
Her voice broke into sobs, her arms wrapped around him.
Arnav's own tears finally escaped, trailing down his face onto the plain white hospital sheets underneath.
He hugged her back as best as he could..his soul soaring..
Her love for him pushed him forward, he felt like he could meet death now, strong and unafraid.
"You know.." he whispered softly against her hair. Khushi's face was buried against his throat, she was taking hiccupping breaths against his skin.
"..I've always loved you."
Images of the past flashed before his eyes..Khushi falling into his arms at that fateful fashion show..their almost kiss on Diwali..their wedding..their reunion after he'd been freed from the kidnappers..their growing love..the first time they said "I love you" to each other..their second marriage..
Khushi's eyes flew open, she looked at him amazed.
He nodded, his eyes teary. "I think from the day I met you in Lucknow through everything. Even when you hated me, I couldn't stop myself. When I heard about your yacht accident, I was shattered. And these past few days, as you've been the old Khushi, my Khushi, my love for you has only grown. I didn't think it was possible," he said, staring at her astonished.
"I mean, how is it possible to love someone else so much?" he whispered, gazing at her lovingly, his eyes twinkling.
He traced her face with his eyes, noting the quivering chin, her trembling lips, those eyes that seemed to see into his soul.
It was funny, but who'd have thought that she would become such an integral part of his life, someone he couldn't imagine living without?
When he'd first seen her, he had felt something..something inexplicable.
They had both sensed the connection between them..no matter how hard they had both tried to ignore it..
And even though they'd never wished it, fate kept bringing them together, as if they were meant to be.
But, they'd both fought it, mused Arnav ruefully.
He'd been cold, cruel, and mean to Khushi..not to make her life horrible..but to push her away.
Somewhere, perhaps in childhood even, he'd learned it was best to keep away from getting close to anyone.
Because if you got to close, you almost always got hurt.
But he hadn't been able to keep Khushi away.
Not when every fiber of his soul, his heart yearned for her so much.
Tears escaped Khushi's eyes as she stared at him.
She brought his hand to her mouth, kissing his flesh firmly. "I love you, Arnav Singh Raizada. So much..more than anyone..more than anything." She punctuated her words with kisses.
Arnav's heart raced as he heard her say the same words he'd often thought himself.
He brushed the tears away from her face.
"I've had so many dreams about us," he admitted.
Arnav closed his eyes..and as always, the dreams engulfed him again.
He remembered all those nights he'd spent alone, trying to sleep.
But it had been impossible..he'd needed her beside him..wrapped in his arms..
Without her, he hadn't been able to sleep a single night peacefully.
She hiccupped, holding his hand against her cheek.
Arnav smiled, "I've wished of you loving me, of spending each day with you, of going to sleep with your arms around me, of waking up with you in my arms."
Khushi smiled at him tearfully. "That'll happen, Arnav. I promise you it will happen!"
He nodded but didn't answer.
His mind drifted suddenly to a cloudy day months ago.
He and Khushi had already separated by then.
And he'd been trying to convince himself that he felt nothing for her..that he could live his life without her..
As she was doing, judging by the news reports, the scandalous headlines.
Just then, the signal ahead had turned red.
Arnav stomped on the breaks.
His jaded eyes glanced out the window wearily.
He noticed a young family just a short distance away from him.
They were walking out of a nearby park.
The wife's hand was in her husband's.
An adorable child, no more than two years old, sat atop her dad's shoulders, laughing loudly. One of her hands was holding onto a bright rainbow balloon, while the other hand was clasping her dad's face, covering one of his eyes.
But the man only smiled at his daughter, reaching up to tickle her.
The family was beaming as they walked past Arnav's jeep.
Arnav stared at them longingly..his heart aching inside him..
As the car behind him honked, Arnav glanced up startled, shifting the gears..
But the image of the happy family wouldn't leave him..haunting him..
That night as he'd slept..dreams came to him..
Of Khushi and him strolling through that same park, hand in hand.
A child that had his wavy hair and Khushi's twinkling eyes was laughing in his arms.
Arnav saw himself kissing his child's rosy cheek, making the child giggle loudly.
Khushi reached over to speak to their child, her arm wrapping absently around Arnav's waist.
"No no," she corrected, "the song is what the, what the.."
The child laughed, repeating, "What the..what the.."
Arnav saw himself turn toward Khushi sharply, reaching out to pinch her exposed waist.
Khushi yelped, slapping his hand away lightly.
The dream Arnav though only smiled in response, reaching out to hold her closer, his lips dropping a quick kiss on her forehead.
Khushi smiled, her hand resting softly on her visibly rounded stomach.
And then a blackness descended, taking Khushi from him, ripping their child from his arms..
Blackness had wrapped around him, and even though he struggled, he could only watch helplessly as his family was snatched from him..his wife and child crying out for him..
The dream had become all blurry then, and he'd screamed out loud as if it had all been real..
"KHUSHI!!!"
He'd woken up shaken, tears in his eyes.
How badly he wished that family could be his forever..
"I've dreamed of you pregnant with my child," he told Khushi softly, "..of you nursing our child..of playing on the Raizada lawns, all three of us laughing.."
Khushi noted the faraway look in his eyes with a throbbing heart.
It hurt to breathe suddenly.
She grasped his weak hand tighter, "We'll have all of that. I'll have our child..and we'll have not just one child, but a house full of children."
Arnav smiled naughtily, kissing her fingertips softly, "You'll spoil them rotten."
"But you'll be there to discipline them," she said lightly, smiling through her tears.
"I guess.. but I won't be able to say anything to my daughters."
"Why?" asked Khushi, her eyebrows knitting together.
"Because they'll remind me of you," he replied matter-of-factly.
Khushi's throat tightened. She loved him so much..God, couldn't take him from her..not when they'd just realized their love for each other..
How would she live without him?
She couldn't, she realized. Arnav was her life.
She took a shuddering breath, trying to keep her fears at bay.
"Love," she whispered, "Your dreams are my dreams. And they'll all come true. Just fight, baby. Please, for us..you have to fight."
Arnav nodded, but just then the nurse opened the door behind them.
"I'm sorry, but we have to take Mr. Raizada to surgery now."
A team entered behind them, unfamiliar hands started pulling Khushi away.
But her eyes were still locked with her husband's teary ones.
"NO!" she shouted as someone tried to pry their hands apart.
She rushed back toward her husband, grasping his dear face in her palms.
"I love you, Arnav. I am with you. You have to pull through..you have to.." her voice shook with tears.
Arnav looked at her sadly, trying to memorize her face.
He needed a picture of her to keep with him..the darkness was coming again. He could feel it growing..soon the pain would be back.
He clung to her hand, pulling her close.
"Please Mrs. Raizada!" said the head surgeon, trying to pull her back.
But Khushi didn't care, she stayed with her husband and then leaning down, met his shaking lips with her own..
His mouth was warm against hers, wondrously alive..
Khushi clung to Arnav, rubbing her lips against his.
He inhaled sharply, and then his hand rose weakly, plunging into her hair..
Arnav kissed her back, hard, as if he couldn't get enough of her..as if he was starving for her..
He sucked on her bottom lip, nipping gently. His tongue invaded her mouth, sweeping across her with complete possession..
Khushi met each kiss, each stroke of his tongue with her own..
Arnav kissed her firmly one more time and then gently pulled away from her, staring up at her reddened, bemused face with a slight smirk on his face.
"I love you too, Mrs. Raizada," he said. Khushi smiled gently at him, awestruck. His voice sounded stronger to Khushi than ever before.
His eyes were determined as he looked at the stunned medical team behind his wife.
"Let's go, doctor. I want to be back in my wife's arms as soon as possible."
Khushi's heart leapt at Arnav's words.
Readers of Shameless..hope u all comment since i had second thoughts of even posting this. but decided to since so many of u sent pm's asking for it.😳
If you haven't read Shameless and are interested, head over to
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/fan-fictions/3125163/ff-shameless-2-link-to-thread-3-up
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
