A big HI to all my dear fellow ipkkdians!
I am new to this forum and my name is Pallavi. I have been a silent reader for many days now. I have to admit that I am amazed at some of the fabulous fanfictions and posts that I have had the privilege to read. Hats off to each and every author for penning down ffs, takes on the episodes so far...👏and a big thank you; it is not an easy task.
My hands had been itching for quite a while now to pen my own FF on DevNi. So here I am with my very first post that too an ff. Kindly bear with me.😃 forgive me for the grammatical mistakes, if any.
Haven't figured a name for this FF yet. Suggestions are most welcome. 😃
As usual, I don't own the characters of the show...blah blah blah
Prologue
Lucknow, September 2019
Children...their ignorance to all the horrific things around them, always drew her to them. She had this strange sense of peace and calm, watching them smile and dance around without any care or worry in the world. Their view of things was so pure and simple. The way they tend to forgive and move on was something she would always be jealous of, given her situation.
But how can one forgive themselves for being the main reason for a fellow human's tragedy and move on? Oh how she wished she could turn back time and undo the deeds of her 8 year old self! There wasn't a day that went by that she hadn't wished this for the past two years.
Happiness, love and acceptance were things that were never in her fate and never will be. She had come to terms with it a long while ago, ever since she was nine. The first taste of sadness came the day when her father failed to recognise her after his accident. The amnesia took away all his memories of her...just her. And that was also the day she came to know that the person whom she addressed as maa, Indrani was her step- mother after all; a step mother who openly started expressing her dislike of her.
She was alone and heartbroken even though she was surrounded by a sea of people. There were days she cried her heart out but didn't have anyone who could hear her pain and her silent plea for help. Her best friend had just dropped out of her life by then and was not responding to the letters written reaching out to him. The only person who accepted her whole heartedly was her Dev. She was constantly worried, wondering if he was alright. She prayed day in and day out for his well-being. Losing him and missing him for years added to the sadness that seemed to persist.
But the black stone with their names engraved on it gave her the strength to face every storm in her life. She focussed on spreading cheer, love and joy around to others since she knew how valuable it was. Hence she went about pleasing everyone, making them smile and would in turn search and derive every small bit of happiness from theirs.
Even though she was close to her sisters and Niru maama, she still yearned desperately for the love and affection only a mother could shower. She tried her best and went out of her way to please her step mother just to gain her acceptance, but all in vain, now that she came to think of it.
The sudden kidnapping, escape from death and associated PTSD brought about trauma and fear which was very tough to overcome. She could not trust outsiders, especially men and being in a crowd suffocated her beyond explanation. And the constant branding of being characterless only increased the worry for her family more than herself. It was one of the toughest phases of her life which she didn't want to relive again at any cost.
It was at such a time that Advay Singh Raizada entered her life. He was hell bent on marrying her against her will and turned her life upside down. He insulted her at every given opportunity and hurt her emotionally, for reasons unknown to her. She faced everything he threw at her bravely, and stood tall.
But once she realised that he was her childhood friend, Dev, her happiness knew no bounds. Her prayers were answered; he was alive and well, was her first thought. All the insults and scorn filled barbs thrown at her were instantly forgotten and forgiven. And the only happiness she experienced till date when she realised that she got back her bestie was also snatched before she could absorb it completely. He went away as Dev and came back as unrecognisable and vengeful Advay. The love and acceptance he showered upon her, gone, just like that.
She loved him, mind, body and soul, but he hated her to the core. His rejection was the hardest blow her heart had to take. And once she came to know the reason behind his hatred, she realised that the best gift she could give him was to just disappear from his life and let him live happily with the one he loved and who loved him in return, Sasha. At least one of them was happy that way.
She signed the divorce papers and moved to Lucknow to stay far away from Dev for whom she was a constant reminder of the agony he faced throughout his lifetime. And she had her own selfish reasons for choosing a different city too. She just could not see hatred in his eyes for her and love for someone other than her.
And once again she was alone, rejected, deeply hurt and heartbroken, left to pick up the pieces. But this time she had to carry the additional burden of an unanswered question; how could he think that she would deliberately do something to hurt his family?
She quickly swiped at the tears that poured down her cheeks thinking about the past.
A small kid of 5, Paakhi, came barrelling towards her. The bear hug and the innocent smile the little angel bestowed upon her made her day. And moments like these sadly reminded her of her very own loss that she had to face alone and hadn't yet fully come to terms with; but at the same time reassured her that she took the right decision in joining this organisation for mentally challenged kids.
She pushed herself to contribute positively towards society and bring about a change atleast in someone's life. Moping around feeling sorry for her childhood friend, for her loss and feeling guilty for her actions didn't serve any purpose. She treated this as god given opportunity to repent for her deeds and that was the least she could do as of now.
She changed her name, to Radhika Narayan. She just didn't have it in her to face anyone from her past, especially her ex-husband. Not that he would ever forgive her, move on from his hatred and come searching for her at least as a friend, she thought smiling bitterly. And she had no one but herself to blame for that.
She now was surrounded by kids whose affection and love brought tears of joy to her eyes. But there was still this strange, indescribable void in her heart that no one around her could seem to fill.
She shook herself from these pointless thoughts, focussed on the present and that was to help the kids play run and catch. With a wide smile plastered across her face, she picked Paakhi and ran towards the other kids to catch them on her behalf eliciting peals of laughter.
Elsewhere in Mumbai:
Dev was on the phone talking to the PI. "Any leads yet on Chandini Singh Raizada?
"No sir, not yet; I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry? Is that all you have to say? he bellowed.
"We have been doing our best for the past 3 months, Sir. You have to understand that it takes a lot of time to follow up on leads and it is not easy. Please give us more time, will you?
"For the amount that I am paying you, you must have found her by now. Forget it, I will look for some other agency to do the job or do it myself if the need arises so saying he slammed the phone down.
He punched his fist into the nearby wall and growled in agony, "Chandu, where the hell are you?!
TBC
Please find links to chapters here:
Chapter 1
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=3&#p143990119
Chapter 2
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=4&#p144012186
Chapter 3
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=5&#p144209674
Chapter 4
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=6&#p144278287
Chapter 5
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&PID=144294807&#p144294807
Chapter 6
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=13&#p144315695
Chapter 7
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=17&#p144330468
Chapter 8
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=19&#p144345680
Chapter 9
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=20&#p144350289
Chapter 10
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=22&#p144361473
Chapter 11
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=26&#p144376988
Chapter 12
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=30&#p144434690
Chapter 13
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=34&#p144515850
Chapter 14
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=37&#p144563784
Chapter 15
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=41&#p144584025
Chapter 16
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=48&#p144947460
Chanpter 17
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4896739&TPN=52&#p144989085
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