Omkara Singh Oberoi had looked everywhere in the house, called her phone at least 20 times in the last couple of hours and even taken a drive to check everywhere nearby that Gauri liked to visit. But the moment he re-entered his room, a cold feeling of certainty fell like a suffocating blanket over his heart... she'd gone.
She'd left just like she'd told him she would.
Her entire presence had been wiped out of his room like she'd never existed. Nothing remained of her in that room... that could convey that anyone other than him had ever made their home there. The only thing that remained of her with him was his own memories... flashes of her he could still see if he closed his eyes.
How clearly he was able to paint pictures of her in his mind, running around the room, making the bed, cleaning out the closet, bringing him his morning glass of juice, sitting with him while he tried to explain to her that he lacked the inspiration to create anymore. How she'd looked at him with stars in her eyes as he told her about his penchant for creating and making something out of himself, her naivete in declaring that she would bring back his inspiration by hook or crook, the beautiful vision she'd made when she did succeed in making him want so much, to try and recreate the magic that she was... And that final confrontation with her when she'd asked him for answers he didn't have... or didn't want to have.
He remembered so well the words she'd spoken...
"Aaj Gauri Sharma apne sawaalon ka jawaab liye bina yahaan se nahin jaayengi... aur agar chali gayi, to phir nahin aayegi"
He'd gone after her a while later, exploding in self-righteous anger and yelled at her everything he thought she deserved to hear, unloaded all the anger, the negativity that he'd kept buried inside him for a long while. He'd almost forgotten about the past, about the Gauri he'd seen in Bareilly, because of the sweet, simple version of her that stood in front of him and his family every day. The sort of genuine affection she showed his family, his brothers, his sisters-in-law, his mother and Dadi... even Choti Maa, had left blinders on his eyes and diverted his focus from the Gauri he'd known she was, her ugly reality he'd seen in Bareilly, time and time again.
Though he'd unconsciously tried to ignore the tumultuous past they shared, whenever he remembered the Bareilly phase of their pseudo-relationship, his heart and mind rebelled against anything that could be built between them. Omkara's psyche just couldn't let go of all this knowledge he had that pointed towards Gauri being so very different from the woman who'd become a part of his family.
Now as he looked upon the empty confines of his closet, Omkara couldn't help but wonder, just how this one tiny woman had reached so deep inside his soul that her leaving, left him feeling bereft even though he knew he ought not to.
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Gauri Kumari Sharma had always lived life on her own terms. At least that was what she told herself when times got rough and she had to bend to the dictates of society to survive from day to day. She'd never expected to be accepted as a bahu in such a family as the Oberois but to her surprise, the family had been warmer and more welcoming of her than a lot of people she'd known for years in Bareilly had been since Kaali Thakur's lust-filled eyes had zeroed in on her.
She'd also never thought she would end up married to a man such as Omkara Singh Oberoi. Some days she felt like the luckiest woman in the world to have gotten the opportunity to learn all about this perfectly imperfect man, and some other days, she almost fought with her beloved Shankarji for making this perfectly odious man the center of her life. Today surprisingly, was neither of those days... today, which had started so different, had turned into one of those days when she questioned the existence of her Shankarji.
Because today, she'd learned at long last and in horrific detail, exactly what sort of a woman her husband thought she was. She'd demanded answers from him, fairly railed at him for keeping his silence over the past few days but even in her nightmares she hadn't thought that these would be his reasons for holding his counsel. He hadn't spoken to her about their relationship because he thought she was a cheap, fallen, greedy woman who'd no problems with having a woman's death on her conscience if she got the money she wanted out of the deal she was making.
Not for a moment had he stopped to consider why she would run away from that very same wedding if she'd wanted it so much that she didn't care if the Thakuraain killed herself because of it... he hadn't thought about the fact that she'd never taken his, his mother's or his family's money or even gifts because she didn't want him to think that she was taking advantage of their relationship in any way.
There had been so many things she'd wanted to say, yell at him, throw in his face... see his expressions change as she told him exactly what had happened in Bareilly... they'd been on the tip of her tongue. But then she'd held back. Here was a man who'd stubbornly believed what he'd seen and heard in Bareilly for the past half a year, through the Chulbul phase, through her being brought to OM as his wife, through the Bua Maa fiasco... all the way to this day, when she'd found out exactly what her position in his life was.
There was no reason left for her to clarify his assumptions, no need for her to make him see the truth when he'd so belligerently believed in the alternate reality that he wanted to. So she hadn't spoken a word.
It was time... the last time she'd decided to leave the house, she'd been stopped by her husband. This time, there was no one to stop her. Because no one in this house had any relationship with Gauri Kumari Sharma anymore. She'd been connected to them through her relationship with him. But when that relation itself didn't exist, what was the point of hanging on to everything else which was superfluous? She'd built connections with everyone he was connected to... but none mattered more than what she thought she'd built with him.
She was done sacrificing her self-respect at the altar of this unnamed relationship. Thus far and no further... Gauri Kumari Sharma had reached the line before and always, always pushed it in the name of belief, faith and duty. No more. Thus far and no further... this was how far this farce of a relationship was meant to last. Beyond this, she was Gauri Kumari Sharma... and he could be anything he wanted to be. It didn't matter anymore...
Gauri had made her decision, cleared out everything that she'd brought from Bareilly with her the last time she'd been brought to OM and walked out of the house quietly.
Her engagement ring and Mangalsutra glinted in the spot lights of Omkara's studio, at the feet of the Shiva-Parvati murti he'd made so long ago... waiting to be discovered by a distraught Omkara, who was yet to realize just what had left his life.
Book Talk
Anupamaa
Vasudha
