Posted:
Guys, I don't think I have it in me today to be funny. I finished the episode with a choking feeling, unshed tears just like Annika's, just stuck in my chest.
Oh the pain she carries in her heart, with a pale smile on her face.
This is exactly why i was panicking yesterday. This. This heartbroken frozen, resigned face she had, while she sat removing her bangles in her room. How she spoke with controlled volume and pitch, but the words she said carried SO much weight and burden, it was too much for Shivaay to bear also.
He was giving placatory words, he even removed himself from the rasam. But he had no leg to stand on in front of this Annika, this one who isn't mincing her words. She isn't even showing tadi or anger, that he can fault her with, she is calm yet a hurricane rages inside her.
For the first time, she depended on someone, used Shivaay's name to vouch for her courage and safety, and she found it hollow. She must be regretting every word she spoke to Daksh. Shivaay speaks his same old vague nebulous excuses but he knew she wasn't buying any of it today. Her trust in him is wavering.
Episode:
KK starts some rasam, the married Oberois are to put on a dupatta on Prinku. When it came to Shivaay and Annika's turn, he smiled and asked for Annika's hand. They were about to walk up when KK denies their relationship, as outside the walls Shivaay's wife is Tia Kapoor.
Omkara speaks up for Annika. Rudra speaks up for Annika. Jhanvi insists Annika is their Bahu. Shakti is busy Oh Lala ing to say anything. Tej tell them not to make it a big deal. KK spells it out clearly ..
Outside, Tia Kapoor , is Shivaay's wife. And here you say Annika is your bahu. What kind of illegal unnamed marriage is this? I do not want any whiff of it touching my son's wedding.
We'll let Shivaay decide.
And when Shivaay tells her to go inside. Daksh tastes first blood. He enjoys watching the pain on her face.
Shivaay turns to leave as well. Before KK can insist , Pinky asks her to move on with the rest of the rasms. I dunno if her use of the word Kameeni was intentional here for the deeds done, but she did get the woman off Shivaay's back.
Shivaay watches Annika's frozen face, "I know you are upset..."
"Are you ashamed to be associated with me?"
No anger, sadness, just relentless facts and logic.
"No, Annika. It's not like that."
"It is like that. You always said, for you Naam, Khoon, Khandaan is everything for you. Then how can you stand with me? How can you give this relationship a name? This wedding was a forced one, it never brought you happiness, neither did you need it, only one thing You were under majboori."
[We're getting the proper conversation with context now, not the one by the poolside when they were pretending. Shivaay is not able to make this go away.]
"What's stopping you now? Break this marriage. This relationship you can't even refer to with words, you can end it. Why don't you?"
Shivaay offers some paltry excuse, and she rubbishes it. "The more you try to make sense of this relationship, the more complicated it becomes. This morning you said you'll always be with me. But when it came to the test, you weren't there. You said you are the wall that stands for the family, but you didn't for me. "
"I forgot. I was never part of your family. "
Ouuwww..
"It's not like that Annika..." (i tell you the background O Jaana makes me feel like crying thousands of tears, but its just stuck in my chest...)
"You keep saying I'm important to you. Why am I important to you? Why am I your Zimmedari? Why am I still in this house??? I've asked you before, this very thing, and you had no answer. And still today , you don't have one."
I felt a tiny bit bad for Shivaay here. Annika is killing him with this stormy calm. He stammers and gulps , i felt a little sorry for him. (little, only. This could have been the time to break out the secret and get her on your side, but no, he kept quiet)
"I'll tell you. Kamini's words hurt a lot, but there was truth in it. Ours is a najayaz relationship, neither are we a real marriage. There's no guarantee between us, things will break at any time..."
He makes her stop her diatribe. "We were fine just a while ago. Mrs Randhawa said some things and you've gone off on a tangent now.."
"This is not about her, Shivaay. This is because of YOU. You made me ashamed of myself today. I trusted our relationship, had pride in it, it was my strength. But now, it is reduced to nothing by questions...and now this relationship is my weakness..."
Shivaay moves to soothe her, but his words are nowhere near what he needs to say. "This relationship is very important to the both of us. I agree it has no name, but it is the biggest truth of our lives..."
A positive and a negation in one sentence Shivaay, really??
"Truth? Then why did it appear like a lie in front of everyone? "
"This won't happen again, Annika. They are trying to make trouble. All this I had to do as Prinku's brother, not as a husband. I know you're very upset. I promise this won't happen again."
"Won't happen again? " Pushing his hands off from her, she knows this will happen again, and again.
"I PROMISE you. This is Daksh's work. I'll handle it. "
"Today. it's this Daksh. Many more Dakshs will come later. And I'm always the one losing..."
Shivaay comes back with a vow. "I will never let you lose... Never.." and he leaves.
[Sorry for the narration, but it is just too momentous not to document. How we have waited for this conversation. Now we lie down and nurse our painful heart.]
Next day...
Annika walks to the hall with a basket of flowers. Her dupatta catches onto a string of decorative beads. Shivaay watches her struggle to free herself, and goes to help her free.
First a little blink to ask if she was alright. She looks away, refusing eye contact.
He walks up to her and takes control of freeing her from the snag, with tiny nod of reassurance.
I will fix things Annika. I will sort this out. Trust me.
She looks away and leaves.
[super beautiful scene... ]
Jhanvi comes to ask Annika to join the ceremony, she feigns work and avoids.
Shakti comes too and tells her to leave it to the workers, and she evades again.
Shivaay is watching the whole thing. He know she is refusing to join the ceremony and he knows why.
"I forgot, I am not part of this family..."😭
Shivaay realizes she won't listen to him right now, she won't even look him in the eye longer than few seconds. He sends Rudra to make her come join. Rudra removes her work and pulls her to join.
"Where Rudra? I don't want to be anymore trouble.."
"Here, where you need to be, next to Bhaiya. There won't be anymore trouble..."
That look on Shivaay's face. Pleading? Earnest need? That "please don't be mad at me anymore Annika. Please." face...
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