Ne Dis Jamais Je t'aime
Part 1:
"Anika Bhabhi, we're all here in Paris, aap ki azaadi ki party- hum sab ki taraf se Ru sombrely expressed.
_
The vacation was one laced with bittersweet emotions, emotions knotted and drowned in every heart that Anika meant something to- they were shunned lest the whirlwind of pain dawned upon them and tears refused to subside. For they, the Oberoi clan knew so very well, Anika's heart was all too fragile to facilitate their own misery. She would break apart in an attempt to hold them together, her tender loving-self would yield and forego her own wishes so that they could rejoice through the rose coloured glass; even if that meant staying.
However, in spite of Ru's wailing and Om's poetic justice, Dadi's reminders that it wasn't too late. Despite Pinky's apologies and Prinku's insistence that her brother would disintegrate. In defiance of Shakti's soft spoken advice and Tej's calculations of business related losses the termination of this wedding would cause. Jhanvi being the voice of reason had brought to light what all in the deepest holes of their hearts knew- they would have to let her go. Because there had been nothing more suffocating and completely dejecting than a suppressed personality, a robbed freedom and a silent Anika. This they all knew.
Anika was never silent in verity; she spoke in jest to her dear Rudra and Somu, aided Dadi's fretting nerves, she even worked alongside Shakti and Tej- shadowing and learning, whatever she could that is, so that they could steal a few moments from life to spend in the company of their love-starved wives. Rather the silence was metaphorical, she lacked the jovial aura that could light even moonless nights. The laughter that once echoed in each corner of the mansion had died the day Shivaay had forced her into the sham of a marriage. The light from her eyes ebbed away.
So, it had been decided- they would grant her the only gift that would mean anything: her autonomy.
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*One week prior*
"Shivaay, this is the right thing to do; after all we owe this much to Bhabhi- You owe this much to her Om phrased with righteous indignation.
Shivaay paced raucously within the confines of his bedroom, letting her go; the thought brought back the constant throb that ran through the left portion of his chest. Had what Om said, not been absolutely and utterly rational, had he not been his sensible brother, he would have set the opposing person ablaze. However, how could he let her go, could he go on without her?
Witnessing the running chain of thought that was seemingly running on in his brother head, he thought to shatter it with his reason, "We have been ever so unmindful Shivaay, of her, her needs, have you even thought of what she wanted? We've caged a wild, beautiful bird Shivaay, we've clipped her wings and starved her of the one thing she had been so proud of. She's dying goddammit, don't you see?, she'll die whimpered O.
"Then I'll die Om, I'll die...
"Crap, crap, crap- you're in love Shivaay
"I love in... with her
*How unfair, it's just our love
Found something real that's out of touch
But if you'd searched the whole wide world
would you dare to let it go*
Life was such a retched thing, here he drowned in love, and there she was fading fast.
"Pyar ka matlab sirf pyar ka izhaar karna nahi hota ... pyar bina kuch kahe bhi, pyar hi hai ... pyar qurbani bhi hai ... pyar ek doosre ke liye chup rehna bhi hai ... pyar ka matlab sirf pyar ko pana nahi hai ... pyar kisi aur ki khushi ke liye, apni khushi mitana bhi hai Om evoked eloquently. Would this change anything? Knowing his brother had been washed up by the same love that Anika had been stifled by.
Yes, they were both in love with each other- but it was a reckless love- he knew so well that if Shivaay called out to Anika, she would run back into the same arms that had once snatched everything dear to her. The love Shivaay showered on her, she would return it in twofolds. But.. it also meant that she would no longer be Anika- She would become Mrs. Anika Shivaay Singh Oberoi, the mere shadow of her former self. She would be living but never fully alive. Anika would be content but never happy. So instead of saving the distraught wedding that could go on, he chose that Anika was the soul worth saving. And Shivaay knew this.
Cradling his head in his palms, he let the built up emotions burst- tears unravelling. "Okay, Om, I'm ready to set her free...
He knew it was the right thing to do, and he would do it, knowing he could die in the process- but he also knew he would find the will live- knowing she was alive.
"Does she love me too Om?
Such an innocent question that broke Om's heart alongside Rudra's and Pinky's who had watched the entire exchange. Pinky witnessed her sons longing, and she could not help but feel partially responsible for the separation that they all knew, was to come. When Tia's truth; more like her lies, had come into plain sight, when her once blinded eyes saw the reality- she had realised what her sons heart had always known: Anika was the priceless gem amongst absolute trash. Her insults that she had slapped her face with came around in a full circle. She felt disgusted at herself. So she had set about undoing her deeds done. Softly she had called on Anika, only to be met by a frightened face- and she had wept: "I am sorry.
"I forgive you Anika had whispered back oh so tenderly that she felt the overwhelming compassion for this single girl gush from her once bottled heart. Her once frightened face, composed into a fragmented smile; she had taken Pinky in a delicate embrace but found herself wrapped in a feverish frenzy of a hug.
From then on Anika and Pinky had an unspoken relationship- the new found mother-daughter combo was one to be reckoned with. Somehow they found the missing pieces of themselves in each other. Both lost in a world not completely their own. Even Pinky and Shakti's rocky relationship, in addition to Tej and Jhanvi's, had stabilised, all owing to the selflessness of this one girl. She had counselled them surprisingly, and demanded that the men charm the ladies into going on a single date with them- a challenge if one see fit. It had been met by willing participants and a few months down the line, the budding romance and understanding between the older lost couples had flourished once more. The old house had its old charm returned. If only she could do what Anika had done- but she could not.
Rudra was the one to abruptly break her out of her reverie; "She does. Ru said sadly. Garnering the attention of his older brothers.
"She loved so much, she lost herself
Rudra soundlessly strolled into the bedroom and took his fixed seat to Shivaay's left, "Bhabs is a superwoman Bhaiya, but she needs time to recharge, your love will sedate her, she needs to learn to love herself in order to become whole again he said as he pressed Shivaay's arm firmly. Rudra had seen his Bhabhi cry silently and regroup herself in the earlier days of her marriage, she was still a little loud then, but slowly she lost her voice, her real one that is- she became the poised, perfect Bahu, Mrs.Anika Shivaay Singh Oberoi, who accompanied Ma to socialite gatherings, and led Dadi to the temple. She even beguiled a working Papa to put his laptop away, ushering him to take two cups of perfectly brewed camomile tea to his beautiful wife. She gave Om silent company and took her front seat as Rudra's most favourite person.
"The complete paradox is my Anika Shivaay finally professed with a sad smile, "Faithful, yet detached- so gentle but so tough, she is here and yet she is not and with that he stood up straight, walking past his pale faced mother to set things right...finally.
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