The kind of fairy tale this world needs. - Page 3

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simran_singh_24 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#21
Nice post Fantastia.👏
Enjoyed reading some insightful response.

While I applaud the Cvs for not glorifying/romanticizing Kabir's anger, i just can't accept the way Zara took it in her stride and bent back wards to pacify him.That's a wrong message for boys/men watching that.
I watch another show Nimki Mukhyia on Star bharat on& off and the FL is an eccentric char.She's head over heals in love with her upper caste husband who married for political gains and the family treat her like shit.
When the hunk of the guy strangled because she stood up for something, she said, I'm letting this slide because I'm sad about something, but I don't like it.The message was don't dare. I like that.

Kabir- IMO isn't a MCP. He's misguided by his misinterpretation of his religion. He was open to change his stand on not eating at table for Zara, she was able to convince him.
While gender is part of their problem, i think, it's more of their interpretation of their religion.
I see Shebaz and Irafan battling as Kabir & Zara😆

Talking about walking away from a difficult marriage, imo, it's a refection of society's view on marriage itself , even in India. Not many are seeing it as a life time commitment that needs constant work.

peeyara thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#22
Kinzuuu🤗
You this REALITY is as real as it gets, Yes i am liking how makers have crafted Kabir's character.
I have a big fat joint family with loads of cousins and 90% are married 😆 I have noticed one common thing - Nobody's marriage is perfect not a single one. Each one have some or the other issues and yes most of the men are MCP 😆 not fully though...but then they are gud husbands too and they do take care of wives in their own ways
And after analysing, i realised how true is that dialogue from Durre Shahwar
"Shaadi koi fairy tale nahi hai aur agar hai toh usme koi na koi jin hota hai aur hame uss jin se muqabla karna padta hai"
Zaara and Kabir's biggest jin is their Nazariya and Ruksar keeps feeding it.
Glad that Makers are, in no way, romanticising kabir's Hand grabbing scenes. Wrong is shown as wrong

Brilliant post :)
peeyara thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#23

Originally posted by: simran_singh_24

Nice post Fantastia.👏
Enjoyed reading some insightful response.

While I applaud the Cvs for not glorifying/romanticizing Kabir's anger, i just can't accept the way Zara took it in her stride and bent back wards to pacify him.That's a wrong message for boys/men watching that.
I watch another show Nimki Mukhyia on Star bharat on& off and the FL is an eccentric char.She's head over heals in love with her upper caste husband who married for political gains and the family treat her like shit.
When the hunk of the guy strangled because she stood up for something, she said, I'm letting this slide because I'm sad about something, but I don't like it.The message was don't dare. I like that.

Kabir- IMO isn't a MCP. He's misguided by his misinterpretation of his religion. He was open to change his stand on not eating at table for Zara, she was able to convince him.
While gender is part of their problem, i think, it's more of their interpretation of their religion.
I see Shebaz and Irafan battling as Kabir & Zara😆

Talking about walking away from a difficult marriage, imo, it's a refection of society's view on marriage itself , even in India. Not many are seeing it as a life time commitment that needs constant work.

Nimki is patakha...i left after the marriage 😆 The way they were treating Nimki , i didnt liked it. Tell me epi no, I love to watch Nimki dhamkaing Babbuji😆
Fantasia. thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#24

Originally posted by: aqua.m7

FANTASTIC POST!!!

I keep trying to remind myself that its good that they are showing this cus it's educating the rest of us. Cvs are trying to leave the impression that this is wrong, and no doubt it is. It's to awake us as a society. (I'm good at explaining what I mean urrghhh 😡, God this is like my English essays again!😆)

I'm so glad the cvs aren't justifying his behaviour with some dark secret like he's been tortured in the past. They are trying to get this reaction so no one sympathizes with kabeer or dares to think this is right. NOPE IT REALLY ISN'T!

So THANKYOU for this!

P.s I've seen your username with the hashtag ishq subhan Allah on Twitter. Is that you? If so your really good at putting thoughts down into words


awww thanks, and yes thats me fantasia on twitter too 😳 😆

and thats the whole point, if abuse is shown as abuse then makers need applause ! .. They are calling spade a spade adn its just a matter of time they will start with the redemption ..
Fantasia. thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#25

Originally posted by: sravss

Sorry thought to write some small but seeing and facing these kind of situations almost everyday i would not resist from making a long post...(i was just trying let out my frustration, sorry if could not express properly).

You rightly said this is what having in the real world irrespective of the place, religion and education of the boy.
I myself personally encountered these kind of men, to be frank worst...

To be frank my father is very traditional in his actions but modern in his thoughts and that's how my family is ... My mother was working till she got retired and I have never seen my dad asking her not to work and even i grandmother who stays with us always helped my mother to take care of the house if my mother was busy at work...But mostly my mother had the efficiency to manage both of them.My parents always encouraged me and my sister to become strong and independent women who should never be dependent on any one for financial assistance, because they believed that they can give birth to children but not the their fates and we never know what we have will have to face in future...And being financial dependent on one will kill once confidence...And till we joined jobs we thought that the entire world is similar and most of the men think like my dad, my super hero but once we joined jobs and started to meet people and share our thoughts especially on marriage or expectations about our spouse i realized that world is contrary, and onces my parents started searching for alliance for my sister I have seen something i never expected. ..

That is when i realized in reality most of the men look modern and their actions are modern but not their thoughts...

I meet men who want their wife to leave the job and stay at home after marriage..
I meet men who think a women even after working for 6-7 years should not have any ambitions related to careers and they think Women work only for fun and once married they should stay at home and prove to be best wife, daughter in law, then mother and then even grandmother...
I meet men who want their wife to leave job and take care of kids once they have them...
I meet men who wants their wife to leave job and take care of their kids once they have them and again re join the job once kids are 5-6 years old... That is at their will and fancy...
I meet men who wants their wife to work and even take care of the home without him helping her...something like superwomen...
To my horror I even meet boys who want their wife to be educated but should not work and obey to each and every word of his without voicing her opinion...
And so on...list is very long..
Even the men whose mother are working women share similar thoughts..

ANd in reality 90% of men are like this and that is harsh fact...

I don't say all of them are like that, most of the men i encountered are like that...

And why ISA is different almost all the serials serve us the same, a super women who is mahatma and in most of the serial where women work after the marriage ...




Thank you for such an insightful reply, and i dont mind long replies at all !! 😳 😆

THANK YOU for categorising men in every possible category, it doesn't come with being religious or non religious, educated or not educated .. it comes with the MALE mentality .. it is so deeply engraved in our society that women are suffocating under it and they dont even realise .. ISA in that case is presenting a mirror to the society, calling spade a spade which is the only way of bringing a change !

and more power to your dad .. Mashaa allah 🤗


Fantasia. thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#26

Originally posted by: xxMATSxx

I may be the few that completely agrees with you.


🤗 ❤️
Fantasia. thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#27

Originally posted by: athai

[

Thank you,you yourself write so well! Marriage is not a matter to be taken lightly.To make a marriage work is not easy and to walk out of a marriage is not easy either. Of course people should walk out of marriages which are abusive and toxic but Zaara and Kabeer's marriage has not yet reached that phase. Arguments between a husband and wife is the most common thing in the world, especially in the first year or two of marriage when they struggle to adjust with other. For some its relatively easier, for others it's a bit more complicated. Zaara and Kabeer have only started working on their marriage and unless one of them is physically and/or verbally abusive or an addict of some sort, there is no reason to give up so soon. I am by no means justifying Kabeer's holding Zaara tightly but Kabeer does not strike to me as a person who would raise his hands on her ever. Why? Because he is not a horrible person. He is just an emotional person who, when he is angry, gets really angry. The only reason he held Zaara tightly was because he didn't even realize that he was holding her so tightly and hurting her. Raising his hands would be something he would know would be hurtful to her so I don't see him going as far as that. I am saying this because he keeps repeating that it is his responsibility to take care of Zaara and keep her happy. He just doesn't get it that he is in the process of making Zaara unhappy. If he did, he would try to do something about it. It just didn't register with him because he has always associated a woman's happiness to her home,husband and children.

Marriages fortunately or unfortunately have grey areas which cannot be put in black and white. Between being in a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one, there is also one where couples hold each other tightly, argue more often than people consider healthy and put up with things that many people would think unacceptable. They need not necessary always cross the line and become abusive to each other. I think Kabeer and Zaara are right now in that grey area where they are being quite unhealthy for each other, Kabeer being more so because his belief and attitude is likely to leave a scar. Zaara, without realizing, is invading Kabeer's private space too. I think my husband would be quite annoyed if I behaved the way Zaara did with regards to taking the issue to shariya board. Honestly, if my husband turned up in my workplace and placed my work on the table, I would be royally pissed. On top of that, Kabeer also needed to hear that by virtue of being the husband to the chairman's daughter, he would anyways get his project passed. Also, in a marriage, not everything can be put in a box of right and wrong. If my husband lets me wear what I want to without forcing me to wear burkha, then I think I would let his deal be sealed even if I didn't like the man or agree to his thoughts. Standing up for what you believe in is healthy but knowing what to say where is smartness. She would have plenty of time and opportunity to influence people's thought through her work in the Sharia board, she need not get into argument with every tom,dick and harry she crosses path with. Both are taking too much of each others personal space: Zaara cannot herself decide she wants to be a part of Kabeer's project, its upto Kabeer to decide who he wants onboard and who he doesn't and Kabeer can't dictate whether Zaara works or not, that is her freedom to decide.

I am enjoying seeing Kabeer's ideologies come to the forefront and waiting eagerly for the ones regarding women to be dismantled one by one.



I totally agree that what Zara did to Kabeer would be intolerable even for an otherwise open minded man who had no issue with his wife working. You do not got to a workplace and become a mouth piece for your husband. His anger was justified, has Zara discussed it with him situation might be different ..

I am also looking forward to Kabeer's coming out in his full orthodox form because its only then he can reform . and i loved how you explained that marriages have grey areas!
Fantasia. thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#28

Originally posted by: simran_singh_24

Nice post Fantastia.👏
Enjoyed reading some insightful response.

While I applaud the Cvs for not glorifying/romanticizing Kabir's anger, i just can't accept the way Zara took it in her stride and bent back wards to pacify him.That's a wrong message for boys/men watching that.
I watch another show Nimki Mukhyia on Star bharat on& off and the FL is an eccentric char.She's head over heals in love with her upper caste husband who married for political gains and the family treat her like shit.
When the hunk of the guy strangled because she stood up for something, she said, I'm letting this slide because I'm sad about something, but I don't like it.The message was don't dare. I like that.

Kabir- IMO isn't a MCP. He's misguided by his misinterpretation of his religion. He was open to change his stand on not eating at table for Zara, she was able to convince him.
While gender is part of their problem, i think, it's more of their interpretation of their religion.
I see Shebaz and Irafan battling as Kabir & Zara😆

Talking about walking away from a difficult marriage, imo, it's a refection of society's view on marriage itself , even in India. Not many are seeing it as a life time commitment that needs constant work.


@bold - i agree, they should have shown some restraint from Zara but because at that point Zara was at fault so maybe she brushed, i loved how in friday's episode they ahve finally made Zara to answer kabeer in the same sharp tone that he uses.

and shehaz and qazi irfan are a riot together 😆 ..

Kabeer grounds his belief in religion which gives him a levarage to believe he is right all the time, and on more he has supposrt of the patriarchal system .. Zara needs to handle him and be patient with him because she belives in making the mariage work .. as u said . it depends on characters .. some believe that marriage is a lifeling commitment and for those who do it needs constant work ..
Fantasia. thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#29

Originally posted by: peeyara

Kinzuuu🤗

You this REALITY is as real as it gets, Yes i am liking how makers have crafted Kabir's character.
I have a big fat joint family with loads of cousins and 90% are married 😆 I have noticed one common thing - Nobody's marriage is perfect not a single one. Each one have some or the other issues and yes most of the men are MCP 😆 not fully though...but then they are gud husbands too and they do take care of wives in their own ways
And after analysing, i realised how true is that dialogue from Durre Shahwar
"Shaadi koi fairy tale nahi hai aur agar hai toh usme koi na koi jin hota hai aur hame uss jin se muqabla karna padta hai"
Zaara and Kabir's biggest jin is their Nazariya and Ruksar keeps feeding it.
Glad that Makers are, in no way, romanticising kabir's Hand grabbing scenes. Wrong is shown as wrong

Brilliant post :)


oh why would u qoute durre shehwar ❤️ .. one of my other favourite serial .. a girl who made her marriage work, her husband was also not a bad person .. just misguided .. the best thing abt the show is showing abuse and rudeness as it is and not romanticizing it with some lame excuses.
MishtiShona thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#30
Fantastic post Fantasia! 👏 Truly agree to the points you made.
Also from my observation, I think the CV's were very clever in showing the contrasting approach of both Zara and Rukhsar towards the project and how Kabir reacted to each of them differently. No way am I justifying that Kabir manhandling Zara was correct.

Zara, though had good intention, was invading in Kabir's personal space as athai said. I think Kabir thinks she is making him feel incapable- though Zara just wanted to help him. He never asked for her help, he merely was sharing and discussing his idea. I definitely believe that I should be able to solve the problem first before asking for anyone's help. Moreover, Zara also did not tell him that she will be holding a board meeting, despite knowing it is his project being discussed. Communication was important there.

Rukhsar, on the other hand, had cleverly worded herself and though I dont agree her women staying at home and not working, she won Kabir's trust and got on his good books. Therefore when she told Kabir about finding investor for his project, he didnt question her much about why she is helping him and even thanked her! And one prominent dialogue Ruksar said was "Main tumhe janti hoon Kabir"- which means she knows what and how to say things that makes Kabir not get angry at her.

CV's are doing a good job showing reality, sadly, of our society's thinking.




Edited by MishtiShona - 7 years ago

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