Posted:
Hello everyone,
I have recently started watching this show (thanks to Tarun's siggy box đ) and I must say that this show is highly intriguing. The preliminary message that is narrated at the starting of the episodes is a really strong indicator that Dhaani is going to come out as being a truly heroic women that all can feel proud and honored of. However, we all know that for her to reach the pinnacle of her identity, it is necessary for her to go through many trials and tribulations and receive many harsh punishments for which she may not be entirely at fault.
Now, Dhaani as a woman is an entirely different subject matter to delve into and I won't do so at this moment. What I do wish to talk about is the women in the Tripathi household and the amount of personal autonomy and power they hold in the domestic sphere.
But before I do that, I would like to let the readers know that I have not caught up to all the episodes. I am still at its initial stages and am currently viewing the episode that had aired on August 18th. In short, I have merely watched the first week of episodes. As a result, my perspective on the women are only based on the viewing of these episodes.
In the Tripathi household, there are three women: Dadi (Sushma), Kanak and Shalini.
Let's start off with Shalini first.
Shalini Tripathi: a younger sister to Viplav, is constantly berated by her mother for being overweight and is categorized into being abnormal. (Abnormal in the sense that she does not fit into what she considers to be the "idealized" version of a human being. Physically able, attractive, able to uplift Kanak's name in society etc.) However, she still finds it in herself to remain optimistic and spread happiness to others around her.
Although I have never seen DP directly insult Shalini because of her weight, but Shalini has made a point of noting that she too gets insulted by him. (To be honest, this doesn't surprise me.) However, rather than wallow herself into self-guilt, Shalini ignores all these insults. Yes, she gets effected in the moment, but she is quickly able to overlook it all and allow herself to live in peace. If she continued to dwell on all the negative thoughts that come her way, then she will undoubtedly fall under depression, and may even end up harming herself in her quest to please her mother and grandfather. But she knows for a fact that no matter what she does she will never be able to amount to nor gain the same position in their eyes as Viplav does. So there really is no point in trying to gain their praise or have them be impressed by her.
So she takes the sane route and ignores their harsh words and finds small happiness in her daily life. We do not know for what reason her overweight is caused by. It could be due to do a medical condition or she's simply not able to lose weight. We all have different bodies that operate in different ways. No one person is alike. She has accepted this and when people tease her about it, in a truly jokingly manner, she does not mind it. However, she does it take it to hurt when it is used as an insult. She knows what kind of image she presents to the world better than anyone. It is her body after all. What people think of her will be on her mind 10x more than on what's on her mother's mind.
It is horrible that Shalini has to be constantly ridiculed and insulted for what body she possesses. Her body should not be indicative of who she is as a person and the people who hold this type of mentality are honestly sickening. Judging a person without getting to know them first is the greatest failure as a human being.
I haven't seen that much of Shalini but from what I have seen, I can impose that she herself is an optimistic person and is constantly trying to be a little ray of light and happiness into those around her. Whether that is by telling Sushma to ignore DP's insulting words or putting clips in Viplav's hair; she tries to uplift their spirits. She sees the negativity that is spread around through DP and Kanak's taunting words and she has had enough of it. It doesn't matter to her that she might not be able to say anything to the two dictator's of the house directly. She'll find her own way to bring happiness and smiles to the ones she love.
Now let's move onto Kanak.
Kanak Tripathi: an arrogant, obnoxious married woman who manipulates the situations around her to fit her needs and wants.
It's not that hard to read into Kanak. She is a woman who got married to a psychically disabled man and now has to manipulate situations around her so that she can gain the sort of satisfaction that she had wished to gain from an able husband.
Let's see her situation for a moment.
- She has a physically disabled husband
- She has a perverted, and lusting father-in-law
- She has a daughter, whose overweight brings her great ridicule
- She has a mother-in-law who has absolute no say in front of her husband
In short: Kanak's life sucks.
The only saving grace for her is her son Viplav whom she dotes on so much. Yes, Kanak is highly rude to all the other family members but she has been conditioned into believing this. Her self-esteem is greatly hurt by the fact that she has been married to Shambu. In some manner or form, she believes that her only way to sate that self-esteem is to be higher in power, higher in reputation.
How is this gained?
Why to be on DP's side of course.
She knows for a fact that if she sided with either Shambu, Shalini or Sushma for whatever reason, DP will go against her and start demeaning her as well. If this happens then Kanak really has no reason to live. She has been given one of the worst hands and she's making do with it.
To emphasize on this point, remember all the times where Kanak pleases DP by either agreeing with him, or praising him so that she can get what she wants (e.g. the gold bangles that were originally in the temple). She deliberately plays onto DP's lustful nature to get her way and it takes a lot of willpower for a woman to do this. To act jovially and allow a man to touch you in an inappropriate manner, against your will... it takes a lot of courage and inner strength.
Of course I don't condone any of Kanak's actions and her mistreatment against any of her family members, but she has been dealt with, what she perceives to be, a really shit hand. Rather than dealing with the situation in a cordial manner by living in harmony and peace with her husband; rather than being supportive of her mother-in-law when she is constantly berated; rather than being a good guide to her daughter when it comes to body image issues; Kanak is doing everything that is wrong. Rather than suppress the flaws and bring out the positive qualities, she dwells on all the negativity around her and it has poisoned her mind.
She wishes to remain good in front of Viplav only for it is him that she is behaving in such an outrageous manner. If it was not for Viplav's better future, I doubt Kanak would have allowed herself to be in cahoots with DP. She sees hope for Viplav and wish for him to get out of the cage that she has been trapped in and find a new footing for himself.
It is wrong to simply categorize Kanak as being "evil" for no one is ever evil just for the sake of being evil. (There are truly a very limited amount of people who can fall under this category). In my opinion, if an evil action can be explained, then it no longer remains evil. It can then be categorized into the "grey area" for there could be a multiple number of reasons and justifications to explain why a certain person acted the way that they did. Kanak falls under the dark grey area where her psychological abuse has liberated and restricted others.
Last but not least let's discuss our pyaari Dadi, Sushma.
Sushma Tripathi: a psychologically conditioned woman who has been made to believe that her entire existence is a curse, a waste, a mistake etc. but still manages to find peace, solace and a reason to live in her grandson, Viplav.
Sushma is the one woman who is treated the absolute worst. (Yes, the widows have it bad too but their hardships come from strangers, not from family). For many years, Sushma has been made to believe that her existence is a curse to DP. The fact that she has been married to him is a punishment that he is suffering now for crimes that he had committed in his previous life. She is demeaned and insulted, spoken rudely and taunted, disrespected, dishonored and dis-valued on a constant basis.
She is a woman who is completely broken and has little to nothing to offer to the world. The only solace that she can find is in Viplav. Yes, she has Shalini as well, but considering she's going to be wedded off, there's not much Sushma can hope for. Viplav on the other hand, will have to remain in the house and take care of them. Yes, there is the issue of him going to America to settle down, but I'm pretty sure if that ever becomes the case, he will most certainly call his pyaari Dadi over. đł
What I'm essentially trying to say here, without being sidetracked by Viplav and his immense love for Dadi đ, is that it is through Viplav that Sushma is able to exercise her right and power. Viplav responds to her, wishes to speak to her, to learn from her, do things for her. Viplav has given that right to Sushma and she takes full advantage of it to teach him the right things and set him on the right track. It was she who first raised a voice against his despicable action and made him realize that what he did was wrong. She does not want him to become like another DP or another Kanak. If Viplav ends up becoming like one of them, then there is truly no reason for her to live. She might as well die now and attain mukti from all this pain and torture. But she refuses to give up on Viplav because she sees immense hope in him. There is literally a bursting ray of light that he will make things alright. Or at the very least, lead a better life with his wife than Sushma has with her husband.
Sushma knows that in the end Viplav is going to do what he wants to do. He is going to act as per his wishes. But the least that she can do is sow a seed of the righteous path in his mind and hope that with the right guidance it could blossom into him truly becoming a man whom she can proudly claim to be her grandson; her own blood. In this sense, she can peacefully die knowing that her life wasn't a waste. That before dying she was able to give her life purpose by making Viplav into a stronger man than her husband ever was.
In this manner, Sushma has the greatest power and autonomy out of all the Tripathi women. Shalini is exercising autonomy over her life specifically. Kanak is exerting social and minute sexual power to maintain a social status. But Sushma, is affecting the future generations of the Tripathi household through the principles and values that she is instilling in Viplav. (Didn't mention Shalini because more than her, Viplav is the one who needs the most guidance so that he doesn't follow the wrong path). It is through Viplav, that Sushma will be able to carry on her legacy and ensure that all those who have wronged her will be punished. If Viplav follows the righteous path, then it will be an automatic victory for Sushma.
TL;DR: All the Tripathi women have power, but Dadi has all. đ
Pushpa Impossible
