i will be honest, i am no storyteller. But here is an idea that was doing rounds in my head so here goes something i guess...
In Their Sleep
Imlie’s monologue
Singing lori to him was like handing a fragment of myself over to him. Does he realize that this 'Aryan' is slowly making room in my heart? Not ABP, Not Akkar bagga, but this Aryan with his eyes closed. He is taking hold of the shattered shards of this beaten pulp and is slowly piecing it together. I am slowly starting to recognize my heart again. I am slowly starting to feel like I matter again. When he closed his eyes tonight though, he seemed content – or wait, did I just imagine a fleeting smile on his face.
Aryan, am I healing you too?
I need to stay up – I need to get to the office. I need to do this. I need to be stronger and stay awake!
I feel groggy and sleepy... but I feel at home. I feel cocooned in warmth and love. I feel this unbidden feeling and I can’t pinpoint what it is. I feel a weight on me, but I am not sure what that could possibly be. Do I have to open my eyes… wait, why do I see his eyes? I must be dreaming! I must be. This is way too close. His eyes seem to be boring into my soul And! why are they right next to my face – closer than I have ever been to them. Closer than when his lashes touched my face. Those lashes though – criminal.
Ka! i am snapped out of my reverie. He and I are wrapped in an embrace. His head is resting against my chest, and his face is upturned towards mine. His unblinking eyes, are staring into mine with an intensity that is searing. The heat in his gaze is unyielding and its melting me inside out. Ohhh imliya, you are in trouble.
Both of his arms are wrapped around me. hein! My mind has suddenly gone blank, and I don’t think I am thinking clearly. How did we end up in this position. He is holding me so so close that I can feel his breath on my face and on my lips. I think his lips just trembled...
The last thing i remember was singing lori to him and then, darn it. I fell asleep. Oh! I fell asleep. And somehow in our sleep we must have inched closer.
Imlie! Snap out of it. you didn’t just inch closer, you are flushed fully against him and completely lost in his arms. Come to think of it where are your arms. Oh no, oh no, oh no. One is around his shoulder but the other one is right above his hip. Oh no, oh no. and he knows! He knows... Don’t panic. Just don’t panic. You have a way out. Act like you are still sleeping. Close your eyes. Just close them. Act like you are still asleep and act your way out of it. people sleepwalk all the time. you can pretend! Is he... is he caressing me gently by making circles with his finger on my back. oh no imliya, you are doomed!
Aryan’s Monologue
Do you know when I close my eyes - all i see, is you. Imlie. I can’t even admit it to myself. I am in awe of you! Just looking at you makes my heart feel so full.
I am scared imlie. Can you see that too. Can you feel that too. Your unrelenting words have shattered my hope. The one that you gave me! My Asha. Do you know that you are my asha and I will be a wreck without you? i will survive this too, but when eventually you will walk away from me, you will tear a piece of my soul that I wasn’t bargaining on losing…
Do you realize that you have taken ahold of one of the darkest most corner of my heart? A morgue would have had more life. And now I hear sounds escaping from there. Sometimes its your payal, and sometimes it’s your laughter.
I know that your ansoo is my vice, but I have never talked about your smile. Have i? Your unbridled freely given smile. It brings life to my soul. You bring life to me Imlie. Don’t leave. When you sang lori to me last night – it was like you were giving me a little bit of yourself. I cherish that. I will remember that. You are giving it to me so willingly – no one is here but you and i, so it must have come from your heart.
Wait, what is this – is this a dream? I hear you imlie but I hear him too. Don’t go with him imlie. No imlie. Don’t go.
But I feel her near me. her hand on my forehead. This cant be a dream. I feel her hair on my face. This seems too real to be part of my nightmare. But is it real? You are too distant right now, imlie. This can’t be real. Sleep Aryan. Sleep. Maybe all of this will go away. Hold her hand tighter, hold her closer, let her hair remain entwined in yours. May be, just maybe she won’t leave you this night and stay with you.
I am toooo warm. This is too warm! Did that Jungli turn off the air conditioning again. Good God!
I am staring at her face which is inches away from mine. Her hair is like a canopy spread over the two of us. Does she know that when her hair touches me these days, it burns me? It didn’t used to – but ever since I held it in the palm of my hand and ran my fingers through it. Having developed this obsession with her strands my fingers haven’t forgiven me for not touching them since...
But why is she so close to me. Why am I holding her! That’s not how we slept last night. The last thing I remember was that she was sitting on the bed next to me and singing lori to me. BUT she feels right in my arms. Just right. My arms feel like they were made to hold her like this. Close and protected.
Hold on, hold it right there! My head is resting on her chest. WHAT! What! What! Don’t panic! There is no situation that Aryan Singh Rathore can’t handle. You can handle this Aryan. What if she wakes up and thinks I did this on purpose? What if… ok! no what ifs. She is sleeping. See if you can slowly shift.
BUT she is still sleeping. And her arms are wrapped around me. Willingly. Contently. My wife is holding me tightly and willingly in her sleep. My imlie is holding me so so close. Aryan, Aryan slow down. Deep breaths. In and out, in and out. She looks so sweet when she sleeps like this…
How did we end up here? Aryan you need to start moving...
BUT can I just look at her for one more moment. Imprint her looking so tousled in my heart – be this close to her, feel her breath on my face, her hair brandishing their claim on me, her lips so soft and ready, her eyes so black and stormy. Those lashes of hers that have singed a special hell for me. Wait… why do I see her eyes. Shit. She is awake and staring back at me. Wait – did she just blush – and did she just close her eyes. seriously, is she pretending to be asleep right now. Jungli…
p.s. Thank you Pooja for reviewing it for me ❤️
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