“Can you do something normal for once?”
The question caught her off guard. She looked up from her notebook to see her boss/house-renter/friend(?) glaring at her.
“Huh? I’m working. What could possibly be more normal than this?” Imlie narrowed her eyes in response.
“You’re working. In the office. At 10 PM. On a Friday. That’s not normal. Specially for a young woman like you.”
Imlie pointedly looked up and down Aryan’s looming figure. His jacket was off and hanging on his arm, the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, the wrinkles on his once-crease-free shirt were telling the tale of the long day he had had in his office; his eyes looked tired, his hair starting to turn messy and yet, there he was. In the office. At 10 PM. On a Friday.
Talk about the pot calling the kettle.
“So are you.” Imlie rolled her eyes and turned back to her notebook.
“I am your boss.”
Maybe it was the late hour of the day or maybe it was just him interrupting her when she was in the middle of connecting leads for a story she had been passionately working on for the past one week but his response made her blow a raspberry at him. Not her finest retort but it worked as his scarred eyebrow raised up in the tell-tale sign that he was annoyed.
“I am almost done with my checklist for the day. And I’ll be done sooner if you’d just stop hounding me with these stupid questions which, by the way, are coming from where I don’t even know!”
“They are coming from a place of concern for you,” Aryan sighed. Imlie bit the corner of her lip to stop the smile threatening to creep up on her face and turned her chair around to face Aryan.
“I’m fine. After your million interventions I have learned to not bite more than I can chew. I was about to head home after finishing this last task. In fact, I was even going to offer you a ride home because I knew that my ABP of a boss was also in the office keeping me company albeit from a distance.”
Aryan studied Imlie as she turned her chair back and resumed her work. Despite his ‘million interventions’ as she said, he had been unable to make her realize that it was okay to take a break. He supposed he himself would be the one to blame considering his own workaholic tendencies.
Taking a deep breath, Aryan pulled a chair and settled on it. Imlie registered his action with a single glance thrown in his direction before she continued to write on her notebook. He silently watched her work and it was a testament of all the keen studying he had done of her that he didn’t fail to realize that her speed of writing had increased from before he had interrupted her work.
It was 10.40 when Imlie finally put her pen down and stretched her now-aching arms. Praising her dearest goddess under her breath for all the tasks done well, she quickly collected her things before turning around. She shouldn’t have been surprised but still, the sight of Aryan Singh Rathore casually leaning back on the chair watching her made her stop in her tracks.
“You haven’t left yet?”
“I thought you said you’d offer me a ride back home?”
“I did but-”
“Offer accepted.” Aryan threw his car keys at her which she caught. And before she could say anything else, he was already up and on his way out of the office. Imlie looked at the keys of her scooter, that had been parked in the office's parking lot since the day before, thoughtfully before shrugging and following Aryan out.
Being scared of driving Aryan’s Mrs. was a thing of long forgotten past now. Since the first time he challenged her to drive his car, Imlie had sat behind the steering wheel countless time. Most of the times she drove the car while Aryan sat beside her. Sometimes she’d take it to drop Kakimaa to the mandir. And sometimes she’d just take it out for drive on her own. Compared to the strength required to drive a tractor back in her village, or the bumpy ride of her own trusted scooter that was one of her first purchases for herself that she made through the steady income of her job, the ease with which Aryan’s luxury car followed her commands soothed Imlie. And she wouldn’t dare admit it out loud, but Aryan’s Mrs. had also become her friend over the time. So much so that it didn’t feel like Aryan’s own car anymore. It had become her and Aryan’s joint vehicle.
Imlie had noticed that Aryan didn’t take this car when he was riding in it alone. He would take another car when going to office alone or have the driver drive him when he had to travel somewhere else. The two of them hadn’t commented on this development to anyone.
Even now, Imlie threw her stuff in the backseat of the car and turned on the radio before starting the journey home. Beside her, Aryan had pushed back his seat to give his long legs more space to stretch. Just another normal ride back home for them.
“Define ‘normal’.”
Imlie asked when she stopped the car at the red light. Aryan, who had his eyes closed not because he was sleeping but because the song playing on the radio happened to be an old favorite, raised his eyebrows in response.
“You said I should do ‘normal’ stuff. What’s your idea of normal?”
The signal turned yellow.
“Whatever it is that you women do. Going out, shopping, gossiping…normal.”
Imlie put the car in motion and coughed out a laugh.
“That’s your idea of normal?”
“It is still more normal than whatever your daily routine is. If you aren’t working on your office assignments, you are working on your college ones. If by a rare chance you have neither, you roam around the house taking up the most absurd projects. None of that is normal.”
The song had ended so Aryan sat up straight and turned his body towards her to give her his full, undivided attention. As he tended to do, always.
“You’re the one to talk. What was the last time you did something ‘normal’?” Imlie rolled her eyes. “When was the last time you went out just for the sake of going out? I have known you for quite some time now and yet, I haven’t ever seen you hang around with anyone who isn’t related to any of your millions of businesses in any way. The only socializing you do, you do as part of your work. Kakimaa has told me that the last time you took a vacation was, well, never. Once Arpita Didi made the mistake of dragging you out for shopping and you left after handing her your limitless credit card barely spending five minutes in the shopping mall because there was a ‘work emergency’ that needed your urgent attention. You don’t even have regular gym buddies because well, you workout at home. The books you read are all business and finance related. The movies you watch are the most dreadful art-house films that don’t have a single frame of color in them. So really, Mr. ABP, should you really be the one lecturing me on doing ‘normal’ stuff?”
Imlie’s attention was on the road but Aryan noticed the smirk on her face as she delivered her long, yet completely accurate, assessment of his lifestyle.
“I wasn’t always like this. It’s called growing up and taking responsibility of my life.” The painful memory of his life’s biggest tragedy flashed in Aryan’s mind as waves of regret washed over him. If only he had always been like this. If only he had been responsible. If only…if only-
“Well then my lifestyle is me taking responsibility of my life. If I don’t do the things that I do, normal or not, I will go crazy. And you know that!”
Imlie changed gears and increased the pressure on the accelerator. The last stretch of road that led up to the Rathore Mansion was one of the smoothest roads in the city. And Imlie always sped up the car. The vehicle buzzing under her hands as she tested the limits of how fast she could go to reach home gave her an unidentified thrill.
“Imlie..it doesn’t have to be like this.” Aryan’s voice was gentle, his tone concerned. When was it that he completely stopped using the grumpy, authoritative tone when speaking to her? She didn’t know. All she that one day his deep baritone voice had stopped sounding like many temple bells ringing in her head and became one of the most comfortable sounds in the world for her.
“I can say the same for you.”
They had reached their destination. The on-duty guard opened the door on Aryan’s side while the driver opened Imlie’s door. Aryan barely acknowledged the gesture, as was his habit, and Imlie greeted the driver and the guard. A house-help reached forward to take out their stuff from the back of the car. Simple tasks that could’ve easily been done by Imlie herself but in Rathore Mansion there was a literal army of people carrying out these tasks for her. It used to bother Imlie. She had even protested against being treated like a goddamn princess. But it had been Kakimaa herself who had explained to Imlie why her refusal to let the house-helps serve her caused them discomfort.
“They are just doing their jobs, my sweet child. Not allowing them to carry out the tasks that are the reasons they are earning a respectful and secure wage is disrespecting them. My lord has blessed us the capability of being able to pay them in monthly wages that makes them go to bed with a belly full of food and a head empty of constant worries; and I have taught my children the compassion and empathy to treat them as human beings with dignity and self-respect, not as some slaves who are at the mercy of our whims. You are of course free to do your own tasks if that eases you but know this well, everyone who is under the roof of this house considers you a part family. And I would like you to consider us as your family too and live here just like that.”
Kakimaa’s kind words had made her think. She was of course, never going to be comfortable having other people doing chores she was very well capable of doing on her own. But she also didn’t want to cause any offense to any of the people who just wanted to do their jobs. So, she did what she did best – she made friends with all of them.
If the driver bhaiyaa opened her car’s door, Imlie in return would find the time out to have a chat with him and learn about how he maintained the various luxury cars of the mansion. If a house-help helped carried her stuff inside the house, she made sure to know all about their families and ask about their well being every day. The kitchen staff became her co-conspirators in experimenting new dishes. The gardening staff helped her in her project of planting unique flowers in the garden, much to Arpita’s delight and Aryan’s annoyance. It had taken some time for Imlie to learn that it was okay to have moments of freedom in her day.
Ironically, it was this freedom given to her due to living in the luxury of the Rathore Mansion that had turned her into a borderline workaholic.And Imlie had no qualms in sharing this observation with Aryan who patiently waited for her to be done with her regular chit-chat with the house-helps at the entrance of the house so that they could enter it together.
“What nonsense? You mean to say if you do your own chores every day you wouldn’t be stuck working in the office late at night almost every single day?”
“Yes! Because that is what ‘normal’ self-made people of the city do! They do not have hordes of people running around them to do their bidding. They do all of their chores on their own as well as maintain a balance of their professional and personal lives.”
“Those people are also highly stressed. You really want to trade whatever peace of mind you get living in this house for some more stress? Like you already haven’t had enough of that already in your life?”
Imlie pondered on the question as she greeted Narmada Rathore who had been, like every day, waiting for them to come back home. Aryan greeted his mother with a kiss on her head and replied to her regular spew of questions with his regular answers.
Why so late? I am working on a new project Maa.
Did you finish your lunch? Yes, it was delicious as ever.
When will you take a break from your work? I can’t take a break any time soon Maa.
At least don’t make this poor girl work so late! She’s the one who made me wait in the office.
Get married. What’s for dinner?
Imlie found the mother-son conversation quite adorable if she was being honest. She had given Aryan Singh Rathore hundreds of different names ever since she met him but whenever he was with his mother, he really was just Narmada Rathore’s Aru.
“Oh, Imlie my sweet child! How was your day? I missed you so much today. You have to make it up to me by taking me to a new mandir tomorrow!” Kakimaa turned to Imlie with the same warmth and affection she showed to her own children. Despite it being a regular occurrence, Imlie found her heart melt with love for this woman who had shown her nothing but respect and acceptance ever since she had met her. As Imlie carried on her conversation with Narmada, she got the answer to Aryan’s question.
She wouldn’t. She wouldn’t trade the warmth, security,acceptance, and above everything else, unconditional love that she had received in Rathore Mansion for some more struggles. Her Sita Maiyaan had sent her down many challenging paths, had her face many hardships, had her overcome many obstacles in her life – and she had done it all without any complains. Just like she had always accepted the difficulties, Imlie had learned that this family and everything that they had done for her was a blessing from her Sita Maiyaan for her. It was a reward for all the hardships she faced. And who was she to deny a blessing?
“Freshen up and have dinner. It’s already so late. I don’t know why you kids refuse to have me send you dinner in the office whenever you are unable to come home at dinnertime.” Kakimaa reiterated her old complain and Imlie caught the fond gaze Aryan gave his mother before going to his room. She knew what that gaze meant because her own reason behind the insistence that they have dinner in front of Narmada was the same – they wanted to see the particular peace on her face that she only got seeing her children eat well.
Ah, mothers.
By the time Imlie got done with dinner and having small chitchat with Arpita in her room, the date on the calendar had already changed. The exhaustion of the day was now weighing down her limbs and she wanted nothing more than to jump into her bed and doze off. Tomorrow was going to be another busy day for her and as much as she thanked the heavens for having tomorrows that only had her worry about herself, the demand of today was that she called it a day.
Easier said than done with Aryan Singh Rathore in the house.
“What?” Imlie groaned when Aryan gave his signature knock onher door. She narrowed her eyes at the steaming mug of coffee that he brought with him as he entered her room.
“We didn’t finish our conversation.” Aryan replied and settled himself of the chair next to the window. He took a sip of his coffeeand silently waited for Imlie to join him.
“You know the polite thing would’ve been to also bring me a cup of coffee and not just have one all by yourself!” Imlie opened the window to let in the night breeze and sat on the wide window sill. This was her spot just as the chair was Aryan’s. The way it took them just a few seconds to settle down comfortably was the proof that this wasn’t the first time they were having a late-night conversation in her room.
“You can share mine.” Aryan offered and Imlie kicked him on the shin, gently. Aryan had gotten used to her sudden physical assaults so he didn’t even react much and continued sipping.
“It has the bitterness of a neem tree poured in it. I’d rather eat raw bitter gourds than share this abomination with you. You could’ve gotten me my own cup!”
“Imlie, it’s late. You and I both know coffee gives you a buzz that has you up for hours. Me not giving you any coffee is the kindest thing I could do for you.”
“As if this bitter coffee will lull you to sleep.” She would have dropped the subject but she was tired and being tired made her annoyed.
“I am used to it. Besides, I need the couple hours for somework.” That was another Mr. ABP habit – even when he knew she was asking him questions to rile him up, he always answered them patiently.
“See! This! This is what I was talking about! Why do you need these couple of hours up? Why can’t you sleep on time? What urgent work there is that needs to be done which cannot be done tomorrow? Me? I have a daily list of tasks that I need to do. Once those tasks are done, I am done for the day. There’s a limit to my tasks. But you? I haven’t seen you take a break. It’s constantly jumping from one task to another. Sometimes I think if it notwere for Kakimaa and Didi, you wouldn’t even come home for days.”
“We have been through this. I have the responsibility of overseeing not one but many businesses. The livelihood of thousands of people relies on me making sure all the operations run smoothly. One hitch that I overlook could cause problems that could lead to damages that cannot be compensated. But you, you don’t have such a heavy responsibility on your shoulders. So, why? Why do you go around like you do?”
"You don’t have to bear this heavy burden yourself. You have people around you, loyal people that would be happy to take some weight off your shoulders. You used to be the one scolding me for carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and now that I have learned to shed off the extra weight, you are forgetting your own lessons that you gave me?”
Imlie shifted her position in what Aryan called “confrontational position”. She sat crossed legged, her body turned fully towards Aryan; her eyes were slightly narrowed, a hint of a frown adorning her forehead.
“I have broader shoulders than you.” Aryan suddenly found the coffee in his mug far more interesting than any other view in the room.
“I can bench press just as well as you can.” Of course, she retorted.
The scarred eyebrow went up again.
“Of course..how can I forget Pagdandiya’s superwoman lives in my house.”
“Pick a struggle Mr. ABP! You call me superwoman and then you worry about me working myself to death! For your information, superwomen can do anything without breaking a sweat!” Imlie enthusiastically flexed her strong, well-toned muscles.
“Which brings me back to the topic – why do you insist on being a superwoman when you can just be…a woman?”
Imlie studied the man sitting in front of her. She knew it very well that all his nagging came from a place of genuine concern for her.There came a time in her life when she stopped doubting his intentions. She hadr ead somewhere that to test who ones true friends are, they should be tested three times. And if they managed to pass all three tests then their role as your true well wishers should never be questioned. And Aryan? If she sat down to recollect all the times that he had gone above and beyond than what was strictly necessary to help her, to guide her, to uplift her, and specially to remind her to prioritize her own self and dreams, the number would definitely a higher multiple of 3.
“Because…I don’t know what else to be, Aryan.”
Her lips only uttered his name when it was the dark of the night and it was just the two of them.
“It hasn’t been easy living this life. But I am thankful for it. It has shaped me to become someone who doesn’t have the luxury of giving up or wasting any time. The only time I felt like giving up, I wasn’t even myself. It felt like a stranger had taken over my body and was controlling it. Even when I tried to scream at myself to break free from a frankly suffocating relationship…my own voice didn’t reach me. Do you know how excruciating it is to look in the mirror and not recognize your own reflection?”
Imlie looked at him, the question hanging in the air between them. Even if she already knew his answer.
“I do.” Aryan’s gaze found its way back to Imlie’s face. As it always did. “I do.”
“Your family’s kindness reminded me of things that I had forgotten. That family is meant to protect you in return if it is expecting you to protect them. Your insistent reminders of my own potential pulled me out of a void and reminded me that Imlie from Pagdandiya was not raised to break apart so easily. I had wasted so much of my time chasing a fantasy only to fall down on the ground, face first. The time of my life that was supposed to be all about me, all about my dreams, my aspirations, my promises to my Amma..I wasted that time caring for someone who basically told me to my face that all the fights I put up for him, all my struggles that I went through for him, all the tears, all the scars, basically my entire self was all for…nothing.”
Imlie stopped and took a deep breath. Her eyes shimmered and two tears rolled down her cheeks when she blinked. Aryan watched her as she gently rubbed the tears away and looked down at her wet fingers.
“My entire self was reduced to dust. Reduced to dust and scattered to the wind with a poof. I had to gather myself, bit by bit. I had to rebuild myself, bit by bit. I clung to my education, I clung to my job, I clungto a having very busy days that are productive in me securing a future where no one, no one, would be able to ever again deny my existence as nothing. If I don’t do this…I don’t know how I’ll able to breathe.”
Silence settled between them as Imlie continued to play with her hands no doubt, Aryan thought, thinking back to the day when her ex-husband blew their relationship to smithereens with just his words. Aryan leaned closer to Imlie and gently laced his own fingers with hers’.
“You have worked so hard. You have done so well in picking yourself up even after falling down so badly. Beyond any one of my wildest expectations, Imlie you have proven yourself to be a brave and courageous person. Much more than I ever was. Because in picking yourself up, you didn’t deny yourself to feel your emotions as strongly as you always did. You didn’t build walls around your heart and became someone so changed that even your loved ones couldn’t recognize you. You never had to fake your smiles. You never felt the need to make efforts to try and find reasons for happiness because you still had it within you to find joy from the smallest, weirdest of things. I have been in awe of your strength ever since I got the privilege of knowing you and I don’t think I’ll ever stop being in awe of you.”
Aryan's gaze was fixed on their connected fingers when Imlie sniffled and pulled out her hand from his grip. He didn’t resist. He never did.
He felt the warmth of Imlie’s hand on his cheek. Aryan looked up to see her looking at him, her eyes shimmering with tears again. But he knew this time the tears were not for herself.
Imlie’s finger traced the scar on his eyebrow. She had a weird fascination with that scar. Once she started playing with it, she’d spent silent minutes just tracing it back and forth much to his amusement. During one of their many late-night conversations like this one he had shared with her that when he was in his college, he used to be quite self-conscious of his scar. Imlie had taken personal offense to that for some reason and forbade him to ever think badly of the scar. He reminded her that it had been a while since he graduated from college and that youthful obsession with how he appeared to other people had long since left his life. Imlie wasn’t convinced and had started to coo at the scar for having the misfortune of being on the face of a cold, unfeeling beast of a person like Aryan. Aryan had only gaped at her in disbelief.
“You have worked hard too.”
Imlie’s voice was just a whisper but it reverberated all through Aryan’s body. This small girl, one that he could pick up with the strength of just his one arm without much effort, had the power to bring him to his knees with just one word.
Aryan’s hand reached up to cover her hand that was still warming his cheek. Pushing it slightly down, Aryan placed a small kiss on the palm of her hand. And hee knew it was physically impossible to do so but he felt her heart skip a beat.
“How do we expect us to be normal? Nothing about us can ever be normal.”
Imlie leaned forward and rested her forehead against Aryan’s. Their breathes mingled and for a while they both listened to the steady thrum of each other’s heartbeats. Deep in their hearts they knew that they wanted nothing more than to not deny what their beating hearts were urging them to do. To give in to this ache that they felt around each other; an ache to fully break apart once more and let the other gather them. They had shown eachother the various shades of their vulnerabilities to know that they were essentially safe in each other’s company.
But breaking apart..once more…it scared them.
So, they stole moments like these in the dark of the nights, to pretend that they could.
“The normal of the world doesn’t apply to us. The normal of the world cannot define us. We make our own normal and it’s a normal exclusive to us only.” Imlie moved back with a sigh, putting an end to another stolen moment that they’ll spend the night forgetting.
Come morning, it would be like it never happened.
That was their normal.
“Still, you could still go and watch a movie with Di.” Aryan picked up his coffee mug and finished the now cold coffee in it with one last gulp.
“I would if you promise to come with us.” Imlie smirked and Aryan took that as his cue to leave.
“Good night, Imlie. I hope I don’t see you awake and making a mess of the house before the clock has even struck 10 AM.”
Aryan stood up from the chair. The retort on Imlie’s lips died down when he leaned down to give her a kiss on her cheek; a kiss that she accepted with a grin.
“You wouldn’t if you, for once, sleep in late and don’t get up at 8 AM to terrorize the entire house.”
Aryan shook his head on his way out of her room as she, yet again, had the final word. Imlie watched him close the door behind as he left, like he always did, without turning around to give any final look back at her.
Maybe someday in the future, he would turn around to look at her.
And maybe that day she would tell him not to leave.
Maybe, that day would be the start of their new normal.
One where all their fears and worries would have been laid to an eternal rest.
A day when they’d use all the strength and the courage with which they picked themselves up after life altering tragedies to give name to what they actually feel for each other.
Maybe that day was nearer than they thought.
Or maybe it was further than they could fathom.
But they knew that day existed.
Their life owed them that destined normal.
Until then…
A/N - This started without any shape or destination in mind. After the disaster day that was Saturday in the fandom, I sat down late at night and opened a .doc file to just type as a way to..vent? There wasn't any particular goal about this OS for me. Heck, it wasn't even an OS at that time! I just haven't written in so long that I maybe wanted to test how much I could go on before I gave up. But I didn't! I didn't give up. I didn't even feel the need to. These characters guided me and brought me to this end. Thoughts and opinions please? Be gentle with me. I have written this after years of not having written any fiction. Looking forward to your generous feedback :)
Anupamaa
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
