SaAz SS: Selfish and Selfless [Chap 6, Page 30] New! :) - Page 9

Chapter 2

Arzoo sighed softly as she pushed herself to her feet from the base of the mango tree where she had been sitting for the last couple of hours after her near-fall incident. Sahir had not coming back looking for her and she hadn't expected him to either. She knew him well enough by now to know that he would never take the initiative himself. She would have to make the first move - find him and make him start talking to her. She wondered absentmindedly why she did that.

The answer was glaringly obvious.

She couldn't bear not talking to him. Sahir on the other hand, didn't mind staying angry at her apparently - considering he never came to resolve the fights himself.

If there was one thing, she was proud of not making an ego issue; it was her friendship with Sahir. She had taught herself long ago that as long as it wasn't about her self-respect or anything major she believed in, she would be the first one to dissolve their fights. She had seen too many people drifting apart, just because they refused to take the first step and waited for the other to do so, only to find that the other had been waiting for an initiative from their side all this time.

Relationships can be the most fragile things on Earth on if one forgets to put their ego aside. People usually ended up confusing their ego with self-respect and butchering a perfectly healthy relationship. She was never going to do that, she thought to herself as she brushed her clothes and had a good look at her and Sahir's name carved on the trunk of the tree just an hour ago by her, heaving a sigh of relief on finding it not very prominent.

Instead of then heading towards home, she went to look for Sahir, knowing exactly where he would be.

***

The setting sun reflected in the still water of the lake before a skipping stone disturbed its tranquility; ripples appearing on the surface where it touched for the briefest of moments before bouncing forwards it skipped a few more times; finally plummeting into the body of the lake with a small plopping sound.

"Wish I could throw like that." Sahir heard a voice saying wistfully. A voice he could identify even in his sleep and he turned around to find Arzoo standing behind him, watching him with quiet admiration in her eyes. He didn't reply as he busied himself with looking for another stone, not acknowledging her presence in any way letting her know that she was not forgiven.

Arzoo sighed softy. "Are you still angry at me?"

Sahir didn't reply as he picked up a stone and threw it sailing at a certain angle. It bounced only twice before sinking. An expression of silent disapproval colored his features as he started hunting for the next one.

"Sahir!" Arzoo strode up to him impatiently and grabbing his arm, made him face her. "I'm right here. At least answer me."

"Yes, I am angry at you. Happy now?" He asked sarcastically, his expression deadpan serious.

"Okay fine. I'm sorry!" She told him, a slight hint of exasperation coloring her tone.

"No, you're not." He contradicted her sharply, his forehead creasing as a frown darkened his features. "You're only saying that because you want me to start talking to you and not because you're actually sorry."

"Huh?" Arzoo let out stupidly as she tried to figure out what he had just said in a rushed voice ringing with the intensity of his emotions. His speech has the tendency to take on that quality whenever he was angry or frustrated.

Sahir's lips pressed in a thin line as he pointed to a rock nearby. "Sit and think what I just said. And once you figure that out, then come and talk to me."

"You're not my teacher. Don't try and act like one. Plus you're the one who needs to sit and calm down." Arzoo told him annoyingly.

Sahir's eyes narrowed slightly before he ran a hand through his unruly curls to calm himself down. "Okay Arzoo, tell me why are you apologizing to me?" He asked in a comparatively calmer voice though the silent storm in his eyes hadn't subsided.

"Because you're angry at me?" Her uncertain answer was more of a question than an assertion.

"Ah yes, I see. I'm a psychotic idiot who gets angry at you without any reason. You poor thing." His tone dripped with sarcasm and he shook his head in mock sympathy.

"Don't push it Sahir." Arzoo's eyes tightened in anger.

"Why shouldn't I? You think I have no reason to be angry at you and I know..." He stopped as he clenched his jaw to control his building anger and continued, "I know you're only apologizing to humor me. But guess what? I don't want it."

"Want what?" She snapped, getting ticked off at his riddles.

"Your apology."

"Then what do you want?" She bit out.

"I want some sensibility from you! I want you to think twice before doing anything reckless! That's what I want! Is that too much to ask for?" He exploded, his breath coming in short gasps as he spoke swiftly. "I left you there to think over what you had done, but did you think of your own immaturity? No, I bet you didn't... You probably spent that time thinking about how wrong it was of me to leave you there, didn't you Zoo? You sat there and thought that I'm just overreacting as usual and that you're going to throw me a simple apology to make things go back to normal, am I not right?"

Arzoo found it hard to maintain eye contact with him as she was hit by a sudden urge to cry. Why did he know her that well? Sometimes she wished he didn't. How easily he had traced her train of thoughts... He was right of course, she hadn't even thought back to her little stunt and now that he had pointed it out, it made her feel guilty like hell.

She felt herself getting annoyed at him. Why couldn't he simply take it some reckless teenager fun and drop it?

"I'm right, aren't I? That's why you're still quiet." Sahir told her, his tone calmer.

Arzoo lowered herself on a rock nearby, her least favorite emotion of guilt raging inside her, making her feel stubborn and defensive about her little feat earlier. "Sahir, it was supposed to be fun. I didn't know that would happen."

"I told you not to do it."

"Stop saying I told you so." She glared at him briefly as she bent down to pick up a stone and began examining it closely to avoid eye contact with him. "Everyone climbs trees. It was sheer bad luck that I stepped on that branch otherwise it would've been alright."

"Yes yes otherwise it would've been alright. Go and climb that tree again. Maybe this time you'll get to the mango." He told her sarcastically.

"Stop being rude to me!"

"Well then you quit talking stupid." He retorted with just as much fervor. "Here I'm trying to make you see sense that what you did was reckless and you're still not accepting your mistake."

"Why are you putting this all on me? You were there with me as well. You know it was just an attempt to have some fun." She flung the stone in her hand towards the lake and it drowned instantly. "And admit it, you were taking it all lightly too before that incident happened." She looked at him with defying eyes, stubbornly not accepting her recklessness.

"I told you off quite clearly Zoo. Don't put this on me. I'm not going to support your nonsense. Not now, not ever." His voice rang with a seriousness and maturity well ahead of his years and Arzoo felt sudden tears sting her eyes. They used to be so alike, so similar in everything but now sometimes she felt that their differences were growing. Sahir was growing more somber, more serious towards life. He had stopped taking things lightly and had developed some very rigid notions about certain things. He no longer supported her every act blindly and it hurt her. She know she would've supported him at every point of his life. She watched him sadly, as he turned away with a frown marring the beauty of his handsome face and selected a stone, before throwing it in an arch towards the lake.

"Sahir?" She tried again.

"Not right now Zoo. Just leave me alone. Go home." He told her over his shoulder in a dismissive tone, not looking at her directly. The fact that he was asking her to leave made tears well up in her eyes. There was a certain gravity to his anger too that didn't go unnoticed by her and if there was one thing Arzoo couldn't stand; it was him being seriously angry at her. She could handle the entire world's anger but not Sahir's. For some reason, it made her feel weak. She was so used to having him on her side that when he wasn't, she felt as if her strength was missing. He was her strength. He had always been her strength. That was what best friends were for. They were always supposed to fight their fights together side by side, not against each other.

The hurt his inconsiderate words had inflicted on her transformed into tears within seconds. She tried to fight them desperately but before she could stop it, a small sob left her mouth. In the periphery of her vision, she could see Sahir's head whipping in her direction but she chose to avoid it as she pretended to search for a stone and on finding one, threw it in the lake to hide her tears. Before it even splashed in the water, she had picked another one to throw, hoping that Sahir will not notice her crying. But what was she hoping for? Of course, he would know.

Just as she flung her second stone in the water and reached to pick the next one, his hand circled around her wrist gently and she found him crouching in front of her rock, unmasked concern and regret shining in his eyes. "You're crying, Zoo?"

"No." She told him stubbornly as she tried to free her wrist.

"You're going to try lying to me?" His lips curved up in a slight smile. "Don't even think about it. You know you can't do that."

"Fine I'm crying!"

"Why Zoo?" He looked a bit disconcerted at her behavior.

"I'm crying because... because these stupid stones refuse to bounce. I hate them." She let out with tears streaming down her cheek, refusing to admit that she was crying only because he was mad at her.

A small chuckle left Sahir's mouth at her adorable attempt to lie and seeing her flowing tears, he couldn't help but humor her. "If that is the case then how about I teach you how to throw skipping stones, huh?" He offered with a charming smile.

A watery, grateful smile played on Arzoo's lips on finding him humoring her and she nodded a yes, appreciating his playing along with her to save her some awkwardness.

"Okay first wipe your tears. They make you look ugly." He teased her as he swiped them away with his fingers.

"Hey! Rude!" Arzoo exclaimed with a frown as she smacked his hands away making him chuckle heartily.

"I'm not saying you're ugly, I'm saying the tears make you look ugly." He clarified.

"So you're indirectly saying I'm beautiful?" She grinned suddenly taking him by surprise.

"Back to normal, are you?" He remarked with an amused smile. "And not being ugly doesn't necessarily mean you're beautiful. It means you're... tolerable." He shrugged casually and tried to hide his smile.

"Urghh you what know? You're not even that. You're intolerable!" Arzoo told him standing up and glaring at him.

"You're saying that about my behavior, not my looks." He flashed her one of his handsome crooked smile that she loved.

"I'm saying that about both."

"But I will only choose to believe the behavior one."

"Yeah because having an intolerable behavior is such an endearing quality, right?" She retorted sarcastically and he laughed loudly.

"It's not, I guess. I don't need to impress anyone so why put up a fake exterior? I am the way I am." He shrugged offhandedly before looking at her; he seemed to remember that they had digressed off topic. "Okay now that you're up, start looking for stones. Not any stone, mind you. The flattened ones. Like this one." He told her, picking up one and showing it to her. "They skip better."

Arzoo nodded in understanding as she had a good look at the stone in his hand. "Now the trick lies in how you hold and throw it." He explained looking into her eyes with a serious expression. "You have to hold it like... this." He showed how he was holding the stone with his index finger circling the circumference of the stone, his thumb supporting one side with the folded fingers on the other. "You see it is supposed to roll off your finger. You try holding it like this now."

Arzoo took the stone from him and tried to hold it the same way with a little help from Sahir who adjusted her fingers around the stone. "Now let me show you how to throw it." He told her as he came to stand right behind her and took hold of her right wrist from behind, his arm running along the length of her arm while his other hand held her other arm casually. Arzoo was increasingly conscious of his intimacy at that moment because Sahir was always careful to keep a distance from her. She tried to ignore his breathing on the nape of her neck and tried to focus on what he was saying.

"You have to move your arm in an arch, alright? Like this." He moved her wrist backwards and then sliced it through the air in a curve. "Get it?"

"Not really." She lied.

"It'll take some practice but you'll learn." He told her as made her practice a few more times before letting go and stepping back. Arzoo hoped fervently that her cheeks weren't glowing red. They certainly felt hot.

"Okay now try throwing like I taught you." Sahir instructed and Arzoo thanked God that he hadn't figured it out. She threw the stone in an imitation of what he had taught her but the stone, instead of skipping landed with a splash instead.

"Go on, try a few more times." He encouraged her and Arzoo did but without any success.

"You're... terrible." Sahir let out in an amused voice after a while, folding his arms and looking at her with laughter in his eyes.

"Today's my first day, okay?" Arzoo retorted crossly even though she knew he was only pulling her leg. "I'll get better with time."

"Yes it'll only take what... A century or two of practice? No problem. I can wait that long." He completed her sentence nodding solemnly.

"Of course you will. You'll have to." She told him and he laughed before tugging at her ponytail impishly, he asked. "Want to head home now? I've to tell Daadi about your little adventure this afternoon as well."

"You will do no such thing!" Arzoo exclaimed in alarm.

"Why not?"

"She'll kill me!"

"So what? You almost killed yourself this afternoon. Why not let her do the honor?" His lips twitched as he fought back a smile.

"That honor is reserved only for me as it's my life. And you will not try to jeopardize it by telling Daadi."

"It is my moral obligation to tell her. You don't listen to me. Maybe you'll listen to her."

"I listen to you, Sahir and you know that." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Do you now?" He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Okay I listen to you frequently." She revised her statement. Sahir's eyebrow raised higher.

"Fine! I listen to you sometimes!" She corrected herself, rolling her eyes heavenward.

"Once in a blue moon is more like it. But my question is, why not always?"

"Because there's a thing called adolescence! It's not my fault you didn't pass through it. I have to be rebellious sometimes for the sake of it." She joked.

"That's a new logic you've come up with. And what do you mean I didn't pass through it?"

"You know what I mean. You grew from a toddler to a child to an old man." She giggled slightly.

"You're calling me an old man?"

"Any doubt about that?"

"Think about it again, Zoo."

"There's no room for thinking. It's practically an established fact."

"You know one thing?" Sahir asked abruptly.

"What?"

"Old men don't run fast but I do."

"So?"

"So I'm running off to tell your Daadi!!" He shouted mischievously over his shoulder as he turned without warning and sprinted away and yelling his name indignantly, Arzoo took after him.

***

"Careful Zoo!" Arzoo heard Sahir exclaim as she stepped on a rock and felt it tipping sideways taking her along with it. Her foot twisted and she felt the sensation of falling through the air when a swift pair of steady hands grabbed her arms, breaking her fall and easing her on the ground with a soft thump instead.

"You alright?" Sahir asked looking at her with concern as he crouched in front of her.

Arzoo experimentally moved her left foot in a circle, making a face when it throbbed with a dull ache.

"It hurts?" Sahir inquired with a worried frown.

"Nope!" She shook her head, lying coolly. She didn't want to ruin their trip with such a small fall.

Sahir continued looking at her suspiciously, his eyes x-raying her face for any hint of a lie. She glared stubbornly back at him in return and he sighed, giving up as he got to his feet and pulled her up with him.

Slight frustration became visible on his face as he looked at her again. "How many times have I told you to walk carefully Zoo?"

"Four hundred and twenty-one times." She answered him promptly, her eyes twinkling and he glared at her in annoyance.

"Did I say it wrong? It should be round about that, no?" She asked feigning innocence and shrugging slightly as she trudged ahead. Sahir continued glaring at her incredulously as he automatically fell into a step beside her. "What? You can't expect me to keep a track of it, can you? Not when you tell me that every other day." She rolled her eyes, trying to appear nonchalant.

"That's the point, Zoo. I've told you that countless times! But have you ever listened to me? No." Sahir grumbled.

"Look who's talking. The person who listens to no one but himself." Arzoo retorted in good humor.

Sahir shook his head at her slightly as he took a deep breath, not disagreeing with her statement and letting it drop. Instead, he asked with a pointed look at her feet. "Does it hurt?"

"It'll be alright in a while." She answered him off-handedly. "I've got worse injuries."

"I don't doubt that at all. After seeing how careless you can be, it's a miracle you're still alive."

"And you'll need a miracle to stay alive if you keep making fun of me." She glared at him in annoyance.

"You'll kill me? How? By falling on top of me?" He chortled and Arzoo felt her face going red slightly as she imagined herself lying on top of him.

"You know what would've been great? If your walking speed matched your talking speed. Hurry up!" She told him instead.

"I'm walking slowly here because your foot got hurt."

"My hurt foot isn't slowing me down, how come it's slowing you down? Want to race to the top?"

"Nope."

"Oldie!"

"Whatever!"

***

15 minutes later, the two 16-years-olds were sitting at a small Dhaba situated at the top of the hill and sipping hot tea. While they were hiking, the exercise had kept them warm but now the cold of January bore down on them mercilessly as they sat in the open, bearing the slaps of the cold wind with victorious smiles on their faces.

The young boy from the Dhaba brought a piping-hot plate of breakfast for them and they both dug in, eating from the same plate. Arzoo placed a bite of Halwa Pori in her mouth and sighed blissfully. "Ummm delicious."

Sahir nodded slowly in agreement as he helped himself to a bite as well.

Arzoo beamed at him and then looked at the peaceful hill around her. "Coming here for breakfast was an amazing idea, no? I'm already in love with this place."

"The food is excellent too." He agreed.

"We should come here often."

"We should."

"And we will Insha'Allah!" Arzoo added firmly as she helped herself to some more food.

Since it was the last Sunday of their winter vacations from college, Sahir and Arzoo had wanted to do something fun. Sahir had heard about this Dhaba from his friends. Situated at the top of the hill, it was about an hour's hike away from where they had started on the trail. Leaving their houses shortly after Fajr, they had walked to the trail and then started their trekking and after an hour's worth of struggle, they were finally enjoying the delicious food on the top of this beautiful green hill, which was nested within a circle of towering mountains.

"Zoo, how about we take a lift back home instead of hiking all the way down?" Sahir suggested casually as he finished off the food. Arzoo had already eaten to her heart's content and was looking around with unmasked interest on her face.

"Bad idea. The hike here was wonderful. I'm going back on foot." She told him before holding up a finger and pointing towards the plate. Interpreting her with ease, Sahir directed the next bite towards her mouth instead of his and Arzoo flashed her teeth at him in thanks.

Sahir shook his head amused, "Why do you stop eating when you're still hungry?"

"I'm not exactly hungry. I just wanted to have another bite." She told him.

"Okay but Zoo, I don't feel like walking all the way down especially after such a heavy breakfast." Sahir persisted as he offered her the last bite too but with a shake of her head, Arzoo declined so Sahir popped it in his own mouth before pushing the plate away.

"We can wait for a while and then start the trekking." Arzoo suggested. "And don't lie to me; your stomach isn't remotely full. That's the reason I shared a plate with you."

"How about we have another plate and then take a lift down?" He suggested cheekily.

"Stop being lazy."

"I can't help it!"

"We're going on foot." She spoke with as much authority as she could muster.

"I'm going to hitch myself a hide and you hike down yourself. That way we'll both be happy."

"Sahir don't do this na!"

"I'm not stopping you." He told her in amusement.

"But you aren't accompanying me either."

"Not accompanying is not the same as stopping." He corrected lazily.

"It almost is because you know I won't go without you." She glared at him.

"It's not my fault you can't live without me."

"I can very well live without you and you know it."

"Good! Then trek down yourself."

"Sahir! Will you stop being selfish for once and listen to me?"

She was surprised by the transformation of his face. All at once, his eyes hardened and he looked at her harshly. "You want to hike down, then let's do it. But don't call me selfish again. I won't tolerate it." He told her before getting up, he made for the trail quietly and she followed suit surprised at his reaction.

During their way back, his mood gradually became normal again but Arzoo couldn't forget his reaction on associating the word selfish with him. Why did he react the way that he did? She didn't know but she was going to try and find out.

***

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