Kaisa yeh pyaar hai? - Page 4

Originally posted by: AnkitalovesHD

Hi Earnshaw! Long time, I hope you are doing fine. 😊

I cant seem to put Rishi in such a tight spot. 😆 No one deserves to be incriminated for being over selfless. That is one pressure under which any sane man can crack. See Rishi's love might be more selfless as opposed to Indiras. I can happily concede there. But the bare fact remains that the qualities that used to entice Rishi once have started annoying him now(Maybe because he is far more practical! So a difference in ideals or temperamant maybe? Or simply because Indira's usools cant be given so much importance since a small little child has been thrown into the equation?) But now her principles have started bothering him and have come between them. He cant really accept her the way she is, now can he? 😊 No one can love another person unconditionally. Why is Rishi stockpiling so much expectations from her if his love was unconditional? His condition is that she accept him the way he is and not bother try and changing him. Every human being has vested interest no matter how small. I feel a selfless relationship is tailor made and quite frankly impossible.

Originally posted by: ashne

Was it so incomprehensible, Anki. Frankly speaking, i don't think I have been able to give a coherent view of my thots

Originally posted by: ashne

That is very true, in every relationship selfishness does creep in - albeit in different doses in different relationship. If u don't have any expectations from ur near and dear then there won't be any feelings of hurt either. But the very fact that both RIshi and Indira are hurt shows us that both have expectations of the other which they r not able to fulfill. Instead of privately sorting their issues, they seem to take pleasure in venting out hurtful accusations on each other publicly.

@Arpita, Indira doesn't accept RIshi for who he is - agreed. But, I don't agree with the fact that Rishi accepts Indira for who she is. Recent events have proved otherwise. Maybe it is because having a child changes one's perspective. But he clearly doesn't seem to agree with her usools as she doesn't agree with his methods.😊Both are the same as they were 8 yrs ago only circumstances have changed. Love is not the only ingredient necessary for a successful marriage. U need Understanding and trust. This doesn't naturally come about after falling in love, you have to build it. Clearly InShi have not been successful in that department.

This is just my POV😳

hmm good post
aur sub apni jaga sahi hain
q k pyaar ka koi formula nahi hota sub ki defination according to there experiences hoti hai

acc to Anais Nin
"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish it's source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."
aur yahn woh pyaar maar gia

acc to another scolar
"pyaar 2 type ka hota hai jaysay 2 bachon nay ek ek poda lagaya
ek apnay poday ko pnai dayta hai, khad aur sunlight ka poura kayal rahkta hai aur phir sakoon say soo jata hai, dosra bacha pnay poday ko pnai dayta hai, khad aur sunlight ka poura kayal rahkta hai aurjab hawa chalti hai tu us ko ja k apnay bazoon main chupa lata hai, kuch dino baad us ka poda extra care ki wajha say maar jata hai. pyaar bhi aysa hi hota hai har insan ko apni space chaya hoti hai, ap ki care bhi mager had say ziada nahi, ager ap had say ziada care karain tu bhi us ki zarorat pouri nahi hoti"
aur indira-rishi k case main bhi yahi howa
rishi k extra care ki wajha say indira ki basic need pori nahi ho rahi
tu pyaar mar gia.

according to my teacher
"pyar main humari sub say bari galti yah hoti hai k hum khtay hain mujay sirf apka pyar chiya, main ap ko pny haat ka chala bana k rukhon ga, ap koi kam nahi kia karain main hoon na, office ka kam hota rahy ga, baqi kal, main ap ko sari kushayn donga yah mari zimadari hai, ap ki sari prob aj say mari, main ap ka hamsah saat don gi, etc etc aur jab yah baad bad main ki jatai hai tu shadi divorce pay khatam hoti hai"
perfect example in that case

n 4 me as of now i go with this shayari

"Wo jis ne ibteda hi mein MUHUBBAT ki haden baandhin
Use maloom tha shayad K shiddat rog hoti hai
MUHUBBAT kia hai? Mat poocho,ise bas Raaz rehne do
Ye aisa lafz hai,Jis ki wazahat rog hoti hai"

and

alfaz k jhootay bndhan main
agraz k gehre pardon main
hr shakhs mohabat krta hai
halan k mohabat kuch b nahi
sb jhotay rishtay natay hn.
sb dil rakhnay ke batain hn.
kb kon kisi ka hota hai.
sb asli roop chupatay hain.
ehsas say khali log yahan.
lafzon k teer chalatay hn.
ik bar nzr me aa kr wo.
phr sari umer rulatay hn.
ye ishq-o-mohabat mehr-o-wfa.
sb rasmi rasmi batain hn.
hr shaks khudi ke masti me.
bs apni khatir jeeta hai.

i know kuch ziada hogia
mary friends ka kayal hai k main bolna strat kardo es topic pay tu din khatam ho jay bakwas khatam na hoo, jab k dor dor tak es type ki mohabat say wasta nahi para ab tak 😊

Originally posted by: AnkitalovesHD

That is very true, in every relationship selfishness does creep in - albeit in different doses in different relationship. If u don't have any expectations from ur near and dear then there won't be any feelings of hurt either. But the very fact that both RIshi and Indira are hurt shows us that both have expectations of the other which they r not able to fulfill. Instead of privately sorting their issues, they seem to take pleasure in venting out hurtful accusations on each other publicly.

@Arpita, Indira doesn't accept RIshi for who he is - agreed. But, I don't agree with the fact that Rishi accepts Indira for who she is. Recent events have proved otherwise. Maybe it is because having a child changes one's perspective. But he clearly doesn't seem to agree with her usools as she doesn't agree with his methods.😊Both are the same as they were 8 yrs ago only circumstances have changed. Love is not the only ingredient necessary for a successful marriage. U need Understanding and trust. This doesn't naturally come about after falling in love, you have to build it. Clearly InShi have not been successful in that department.

This is just my POV😳

Originally posted by: Heema22

Kanan . So much written on this" Love connection "that you are probably exhausted reading by now . By the time you come to my post your are in need for " fall out of love " but you told me to write my take on it so I'm going to give you full dose of it.i hope you get to read it.

Once , Someone told me this and I never forgot it " I love you not because of who you are but because of who I am with you " so definition of love is different for different people .

Does love changes with time ? No .big no .emotions of love never changes. It's expressed through different colors .different seasons .some are lovely spring like , some are hot and some are very cold . Love goes thorough many changes , Many modes ,many names .but love itself does not change , name changes so it better not to name this relationship .keep it unname .

1 .Puppy love or young love. Curiosity stage.

. When we are young and fall in love . This love is insecure. We want to be loved, Liked, Touched , Kissed, hugged,we need to know " you are mine and only mine" during that period you see jealousy, insecurity and wanting to be together all the times. And people call us lovebirds.

2. Romance and honeymoon stage . Discovering each other. Sharing life together .romantic stage of life often feels good that you want it to last for ever and you except it for ever. This expectation is very dangerous for future.

3,children and accommodation state .

Initial stage of honeymoon is is over before you know it . every thing is peachy and rosy up to this point but you have responsibility of paying and providing . This responsibility is shared and that's love at different level. Your are sharing ,talking ,communicating . Every thing is still very rosy , then you are pregnant . New responsibility . Very nice. And incredible feeling . This hits you the hardest . Two become three and then four. Every thing us shared four ways, including your love, you have no time for your own needs but you are compromising that third level of love , sharing and caring . At this time couple starts accepting positive and negative sides of each other.proffesionally and personally you are fully developed and understand each other better than ever.

4. companion stage comfortable stage .

You worked very hard . Raised and educated your kids. Symbol of your love are on their own . Your emotional and physical Needs are different . Now you are totally different level. Companionship . Great need for your old age . You are gratified with great satisfaction that you have made it . Stuck up with each other , understood each other and laugh together and cried together . You are scared to lose your love.That's love .

So expectation of true love does not change radically its takes different rout at different modes in our life. Many people think physical attraction is love. It's only part of love it needs other ingredients too.

Divorcing or separating for your love one ? Yes. People fall in and out of love all the times . when people in retaliationship do not grow togather and have expectations with their partner who is at different level, so they get get frustrated and start looking for same need some where else.and many time this goes on and on .they remain trusty. People change and forget to tell each other . It takes minute to have crush on someone ,An hour to like some one,. Day to love someone but it takes life time to forget someone . .you never forget your true love .

With age and added responsibilities we do change . We are never the same person. Our views. Other likes and dislikes our comfort zone changes. Our Needs to be loved changes .if one changes and other stays the same then it's a big problem but if both grow together it appears like no body ever changed .since Ankita is on the thread I will take this chance to write this she told me I have change in last few months so we do change in other people's eyes too. We constantly change that part of growing up .

Now about INSHI. This couple never got over insure stage. the initial stage if their love was not satisfied so they stay very needy . They are always upset with each other... relationship was not developed to next level of having children so we see lots of fights .

If you are really happy with your partner you can get over many hurdles .inshi cannot because they do not know what is missing ? It's better to loose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride . they should tolerate each others flaws and rediscover their need for each other. They needs to realize that solemates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but always perfect for you!

Ankii 🤗🤗🤗

Yaha to bhari barkham discussion ho rahi hain...which (due to my lack of experience 😭), I don't think I can add to much.

Originally posted by: Heema22

Ankii 🤗🤗🤗

Ham ne Pukara aur Tum chale aye ?? OMG . I cannot believe my eyes when I saw your first post. I was still at work and I could not wait till come home and read it . Thanks for full filling my dream about talking to you on Kanans thread !

Radhika 🤗🤗 Do you believe we all together again on same thread talking about Love and INSHI ! This is my dream come true .i am flying high . Good days are here again .

Now, my Beja on fire . Very tired, I deleted my post( not this one ) my mistake x 3. So I am going to take short cut like Rishi and not quote you guys . I will read all of them after good night sleep.

We are three married ladies, have experienced love and it's value,Nature and true colors . If you read the thread you will see married people writing though their experience are writing exactly the same POV . Just different words . And not fantasies or fairy tales !

I never was able to define love. I never want experience my life without love. I do not believe that any relationship including husband and wife is unconditional . If its unconditional we will never fight or disagree. When my husband disagrees with me ,I get furious , why? There is expectation and conditions of my relationship make be react and feel rejected! So we do have expectations and conditions .very nature !

Once you find someone to share your ups and downs, downs are almost as good as ups ! I have truly experienced this . Someone in your to life to talk to is one of the fundamental need of human being and that we find in someone we love. So is this love? Some one to talk to share problems and happiness ? May be.

We all have expectations from our love . We need to compromise but often we want other person to compromise more . My friend got married thinking that When she is married she will be change other person ( what a confidence) this did not work and will not work ..you only can change yourself .many people assume things in their relationship . I find that Assumptions are termites of the relationship.

We change with age and maturity and life experiences but our partner need to change with us. If one person doesn't change relationship suffers and some time it breaks !!

Now INSHI . My addiction . They are failing? why? I know why. Rishi had only Indira in his heart . And Indira had too many others in her heart. Rishi had small Corner.one is100% and other is 25 % . unless this matches or changes at comfort level relationship will not improve. .he wants more and she thinks its enough . Expectation of relationship is different for both of them. She is practical and he is emotional . No one is wrong or right. It's all judgmental .both have flaws and they are not taking their time to change themselves .they do not talk. Some times I think that they want other to know how they feel but their relationship never reach that point after separation. No time to adjust .,talking is fundamental need. They both are short temper. Impulsive . Judgmental at times . Condescending . They lack respect for each other . So every thing is needed for happy married missing . Blaming each other will never works. Denying need for each other will not work . Both of them need to give in.

I hope Illa makes this positive relationship and does not keep it cripple for TRPS. It's good see positive relationship who are madly in love with each other.this couple has potential . They can grow with each other, learn to respect and love in healthy way!!

Radhika . I think we were writing post to each other at same time. This is exactly what I said . We just had different words . .we are echoing exactly the same thing .Writing style is different now who can Match Anki ? Not me. I am in wrong business !!

Ankita take a look at my new improved signature !!