Originally posted by: Zen1
I understand your point of view that because Indira has chosen to stay with her family; accepting all the shortcomings of an uncaring and unloving family she is perpetuating her own unhappiness and pain. This you regard as the root problem and a barrier to Indira's and Rishi's future happiness. Your solution to this would be for Indira to start her new life with her husband and leave her family to their own means.
The reason Indira doesn't leave is because Indira loves her family unconditionally. Indira has invested her life to have a sense of belonging (perhaps a character flaw). Her family is the centre of her world and she cannot easily relinquish her sense of duty and resposibility.This is part of "Indira's struggle" she is on a learning curve and is going through these difficulties and pain to make that transition to have a different, happier life.
In an ideal scenario - Indira has Rishi by her side and her family. This is achieved by both Rishi and Indira accepting to live with the family situation and building their happiness within that frame work- which they were prepared to do before the kidnapping.
Alternatively Indira comes to the end of her struggles and as you say "break her dependency on her family" and leave them and start a new life with Rishi.
Thanks Zen for wonderful response. I have a slightly different take
1. I do not think the ideal scenario will in any way be happy for Indira and Rishi or their future children. It is because at every step of the way, the family will make Rishi and Indira miserable with their selfish needs, their insecurities, their jealousies etc. We had a preview of that in how Munna and his wife behaved at the hospital. Even a simple conversation between Rishi and Indira was frowned upon.
Can you imagine what will happen in future - Rishi wants to take Indira out, family objects; he buys a saree for her, family objects; they want to invest in something, family objects,; they want to have a baby family objects etc...because Indira's life with Rishi is the biggest threat to them. They will never let them be happy while they count on Indira to bring in the money for their needs and addictions
2. What is happening in Sharma family cannot be labelled as love, but unhealthy dependence. A psychiatrist will have to expend extra-ordinary effort to untangle unhealthy dependencies in the family. My sole beef with Indira is that she encourages it, rather than allowing them to stand on their own two feet.
Each one of them (except Vidith presently) is a healthy, able bodied adult who can support himself. It is not love when you indirectly enable Munna to continue down the "loafer" , irresponsible path he is on. His wife along with her mother can do lots of work at home that bring in money like cloth sewing, embroidery etc. Women all over support themselves when their husbands do not provide them. Mandira can start home tutions, or a home based beauty parlor. Her dad has his shop.
Indira has to learn how to cut their apron strings. We do it with our own kids when they turn out to be on self-destructive paths. Until the apron strings are cut, there will be no change in their behavior as there is no incentive or force forcing them to change. This is what is called tough love
Indira's support for her family at the expense of her happiness would have been understandable if the family was unable to support themselves, like Munna dying etc.
What rankles me much is that they cannot survive without Indira, but they abuse her mercilessly even on her small needsđĄ
3. My solution was never for her to abandon her family but embark on a project to let her family stand on its own
I have been screaming off the rooftops on this issue since I started watching HD this year. My solution has always been that Indira has to start letting go of the control of the family, allow them to make their mistakes as they attempt to stand on their own two feet, encourage them, inspire them, be tolerant, encourage their confidences etc...all in the process of letting them face their futures by themselves. I wrote v long posts on this a while ago.
She and Rishi should not have either married so hastily, or had good planning on how to deal with her family. Some sort of a project should have been planned with well defined timelines, e.g. Mandira's career or her marriage, Munna a job, etc. A serious conversation should have been had with her family which would have defined lines that Sharma's cannot cross or both Indira and Rishi would leave.
4. For Indira and Rishi to gain any happiness, even momentary happiness, it is crucial that she changes and her family changes. Otherwise both their lives will be ruined
5 Indira did leave her family once when she left for Rishikesh. When push comes to shove and certain lines are crossed, Indira was able to leave them to sink or swim on their own.
Indira is a fighter. She should also fight her family to protect the small ray of light that has entered her life, or it will be extingushed soon leaving both Rishi and her broken
6. I really have a hard time using the word "family" or "love" with respect to Sharmas and Indira. There as rarely been an instance where we see love of the family for her. That horrible scene where Indira comes late from work and no one opens the door for her is emblematic. The family dynamics resemble the "battered woman syndrome" a lot
Edited by jjkg - 13 years ago
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