Collection of unsent letters-update on page 10 - Page 8

Hey Guys, here's another update context of this letter is after the scene where he blurts out how she can continue staying in the house after the grace period is over, this is for Alanta,I hope you guys like it, Please do not hesitate to point out any mistakes ,Thanks for your comments and likes...

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Hey Alanta, Hope this meets your expectations; I am still down with fever so brains not at optimum so please forgive if it's not what you expected...

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Gulaal,

Main bhi nahi chahta thuje iss ghar se kabhi bhi jana pade,baato baato main shayad dil ki baat juban per aa gayi aur main uss sachai ko apni hasi main daba gaya, per jab bahar jake khidkhi se yeahi baat sochte hue thuje niharne laga to samaj aa gaya ki meri iss baat kahi na kahi tu bhi manti hai per iss swikar karne ki umeed main tumse nahi karta Gulaal...

Saru Fui ke liye tere is natak ka hissa to main ban gaya, per janti hai thuje yeah natak karne main jitni takleef ho rahi hai,usse kahi jayada takleef mhuje hoti hai thuje yuh apni marji ke khilaaf kuch bhi karte hue dekh,tu kyun hamesha auro ki khushi keliye apni aur meri kushi ko yuh kurbaan karti aayi hai Gulaal...

Maine apne mann ke sath samjauta to kar liya hai, teri khushi se badhakar kuch nahi hai Gulaal,aur main janta hu iss parivaar ki khushiya tere liye bahut mayne rakhti hai,isliye aaj se teri har kurbaani main mujhe apne saath paayegi tu,apni khushiyon ka na sahi per apne dukho ko hissa to muhje banana hi hoga thuje...

Nahi janta tere chale jane ke baad iss ghar main reh bhi paunga ya nahi,teri tarah dusaro ke liye haste hue jeena bhi to nahi janta main,hamesha sochta hu tu kaise itne salo se aise akele iss ghar ko shambhale hue hai, shyad Vasant bha aaj bhi tere sath hai tera hoshla ban ke, tu bhi rahegi na mere sath yuh hi hamesha meri takat ban kar, ha Gulaal?...

Kabhi sochta hu ke kaash jindagi, uss chote Kesar ke liye wahi ruk jati,jaha uske pas sab kuch tha, ek hasta khelta bachpan,shararato and kilakari se mehkta yeah aangan aur uske aage piche daudti hui uski woh Gulaal, nahi usne woh baate suni hoti,nahi woh jindagi ke dus sal usne yuh gawaye hote apni Gulaal ke bina...agar yeah sab na hota Gulaal to kya hamari duniya kuch alag hoti,Kya tab bhi tum apne Kesar ko chod ke jane ke liye yuh tayar hoti..kya tab bhi tum apne Kesar ke pyaar ko lagav hi samajti Gulaal...

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kalika.

Aditi - I'm not even going to try and beat around the bush to say this is my fave letter by you, yet. It's brief, its to the point - but most importantly, it brings out SO many points in such a simple Kesar manner, which were peaking around this time. I love especially the last 3 paras.

The way he asserts how she will have to accept him in her misery, even if not her happiness. There is no question, no permission needed. He inserts himself there, because while seeking to be a part of her happiness, is something he feels obliged to seek out, being a part of her sad times is something that comes to him like a moral doctrine. He cannot defy or deny it, under any circumstance - not let her do so! He can't help it, and he won't!

Again, the way he brings in Vasant's link, his eternal presence in her life, and then oh so naturally compares with her presence in his. The way he hopes it would acquire a similar eternal character... it's so Kesar! Gulaal being faithful to Vasant, and Vasant's love for Gulaal, somehow always remained quintessential to what he himself had with Gulaal. If it had been any less or any other way for Vasant, from Gulaal, he would have never felt the same way about her either! Such an ironic condition underlying his love and devotion for this woman, that her commitment to another man (even if his brother) must be austere and impeccable as it was!

Finally a crucial what if question... what if he had been around for a decade. Now that really is some question to ask Aditi - and somehow, nothing obvious to answer! Gulaal not accepting Kesar may have seemed like a range and variation of several reasons one after the other, the initial period having A LOT to do with his hot and cold treatments for her - but at the bottom of it was always her dilemma of betraying Vasant. And even if Kesar had been around ten years, and they never had the differences come up between them in the way they did - I can't imagine Gulaal giving in any easier. She would always - no matter what - have had to go through the ordeal of learning to live with a past and a present, which were with different men, yet overlapped as MUCH as they did! And it would never be simple for her, because her love for both had some ceaseless quality about it! Still... that's altogether an interesting other tangent to think about. Maybe you should take up writing a short story on this what if?! It would be great to read one for sure, and from you - yes please!!! 😳

ps: Down with fever?! Aww, that sucks Aditi - here goes a big hug 🤗 Get well soon!!!