Nice post Lennie-like I have to say? ThanksReemz-so ur in London? Me too! Me as well 😉😆U know when I was small, my aunt had a love marriage, which created lots of problems in the family which I didn't understand at that time. I gave my word to my family that I won't ever have love marriage. When I grew up I was so obsessed with my word that I couldn't dwell on why it was a problem in my aunt's case instead I just didn't like the idea of love marriage. It is something like that with Gulaal, she has shield herself with Vasanth and her promises for which she is not letting herself to look beyond that. Exactly, Gulaal as she said she has walked on the Vasant's path and the promise she gave and dreams he had, and so on, that all she does is for the family and Vasant, its like a routine for her, its like that her motto in life, to walk on that path. As you mentioned in the 3rd paragraph its like an identity to her, to this day we know Vasant is embedded her and so onThe scene you mentioned above-she does love Kesar (of course not in a romantic way yet), she also craves for the exclusiveness. If you see in previous scenes she wasn't ok with KT sharing same plate, coming late, something inside her feels bad, even the chunner. Yesterday when she went to save the chunner my 1st instinct was "it is precious as it is from Kesar" although she said T has rights on it. That scene anyone can say that she feels something, something is there and yeah like you say she loves him, like she said after she the river fiasco that she will always love and so on, but its not the romantic kind, its deep its unconditional just not romantic yet i guess
I don't think she realizes it for many reasons: Her promise at deyarvattu, to T, sudha, mb, want to be Vasanth, age gap, known kesar since kid and so on, these are so important for her, it is almost like her identity. Now he is after her so she won't feel his void but do u think she would be really happy Kesar belonging to someone else? Just like u said there is something that we just can't say in words. Exactly, her identity - what she has promised, what she has been functioned to do and fulfill and so on, and i also say she has put a block on seeing anything further with Kesar and beyond that, esp the feelings he seems to be having towards her, all she sees is her guilt and her promises and so on, and like you say she hasnt yet felt the void in her coz he is always there, was hers in a way and really can she handle him being someone else's not having that right on him and so on. I am wondering when Kesar is gonna realise what he feels for her is actual love
Honestly I am no good at explaining myself, especially in writing so I don't know if you could get what I mean. I get you 😊