Maybe an unpopular opinion, but I absolutely loved today's episode. It finally gave a clear insight into Sai's mind, which I felt the audience was missing, therefore causing many to misunderstand her. Vankar has honestly beautifully set the stage for what is to come.
When Usha Mausi and Pari texted Sai happy anniversary, it was clear that she had not forgotten. Rather, she did not think that there was anything to celebrate, because this shaadi is simply a deal. Her face fell at this, because again, all she wants is this to be real. Virat got so excited hearing Sai say happy anniversary, thinking that she remembered. This was the first moment in today's episode when I felt as if SaiRat are two trains passing each other by....
The store scene was all about the details. Virat asked Sai why she is getting everyone gifts, and she reminded him of the ruby incident. Not only does she care about his family, but she is also learning the rules and regulations of living in a joint-family. She is progressing... and she is maturing. The heartbreaking thing is that she has had to endure constant domestic abuse by the residents of CN in the process. When Virat asks her why she isn't getting him something, she says because all of these gifts are on his behalf. While this might seem rude, to me, it showed how she thinks they are the same. This was a typical wife moment- what is her's is his and what is his is her's. Of course Virat used this opportunity to get her a present. When Sai asked what the occasion was and Virat was about to say anniversary, you could once again see the desperation in her eyes for him to affirm this marriage. And again, her face fell when she did not get it. Virat knew she wanted the purple suit, and she knew he wanted the green one... so both chose to make the other happy. Love is about compromise and putting the other person above yourself. And this is exactly what both of them did, even if the moment was a small one. Virat asking Sai to get Ajinkya a present was also a really nice moment. He is truly ashamed of his behavior and is doing everything in his power to make things better.
While the story scene was one big jalebi, I actually thought it spoke volumes about SaiRat's relationship at this point in time. Sai tells Virat that the girl would not have come to this location with his friend if she did not love him. Subconsciously, this is exactly what has happened with Sai coming on this trip. She cannot deny Virat anything... and in fact, she never has been able to. Whatever he asks for, she wholeheartedly gives. Whether that be forgiveness after numerous mistakes on his part, accompanying him to Ladak with the woman she believed he was in love with, or now, coming on this official trip. But, Virat trying to look at things from Sai's perspective, asks whether it could just be a zimidari like the two of them share. And again, the disappointed look on her face. All she wants is for Virat to affirm what she is feeling, and yet, he is unable to say the words she so desperately needs to hear. When Sai was talking about a girl's intuition and how they can sense if guys like them, this too, applied to her. As I have said in numerous other posts, the entire reason for Sai's constant confusion is that she can sense that Virat's actions towards her are more than a zimidari, but she is too afraid to let her walls down since every time she has, she has been shattered and brought back into her version of reality... more on this a bit later.
When Sai confessed to Virat, there were tears in his eyes. He was so overcome by her affection, even if it wasn't real to him in that moment. But, what Sai said, was true. She will be the one to confess first once she accepts their love for each other. She won't hesitate and will go running. This is how they are different. Virat places emphasis on his actions, but Sai places emphasis on her words... and through this, they are again, like trains passing each other by. Sai cannot give herself permission to label his actions as love until he verbally affirms their relationship to her, and Virat cannot give himself permission to confess to her because he is too afraid of losing her....
I guess Virat's intention in bringing in the girl's marriage to someone else and the friend wanting to commit suicide was to portray his fear of losing Sai. In his mind, Pakhi is nonexistant, so he did not even consider the possibility of Sai taking it the wrong way. He even told Sai that how one interprets the story will depend on who is listening... and exactly that happened. Sai's insecurities were once again re-awakened. The yoga instructor added fuel to a fire that was already burning out of control. What wife will be able to hear about her husband's chemistry with his ex... let alone Sai, who thinks that Pakhi is still his present? Ayesha nailed this scene. You could see all of her walls rapidly coming back. When she said that Virat has done so much for her, and now it is her turn to complete her zimidari and reunite Pakhi and Virat... my heart broke for her. She loves Virat so much that she is willing to let him go in order for him to be reunited with whom she thinks is his true love. Again, this is where Pakhi's constant tamashas and outbursts come in. Even though Virat has given her no reason to believe he is still in love with Pakhi (or ever was), Pakhi is the constant reminder, as her behavior makes it seem as if they were some kind of Romeo and Juliet. And without any direct clarification from Virat, Sai has no source of affirmation...
The same cycle has repeated itself yet again... but this time, it won't blow over so easily. Sai was starting to accept the reality of this marriage once again. Her walls were coming down. Everything was going great between the two. Her birthday- he treated her like a queen. The way he redeemed himself after the Ajinkya incident.. the way he yearned for her and begged her to stay with him. The anniversary trip thus far... their shared romantic moments and their waterfall date. All of this was clearly causing Sai's guard to slip. Hence, why she was acting irritated when Virat was asking her about her favorite music... these are her defense mechanisms. She could feel herself falling, but she was hesitant. And, today, she came crashing back into reality... Pakhi and Virat's relationship was fully reawakened for her, and once again, she felt like a fool for thinking otherwise. Samrat's entry is going to blow up in her face, because he too, will have the same idea of Virat and Pakhi's past, thereby confirming what she believes to be true. Everything she was letting herself feel, she will try to suppress. My heart completely breaks for her.
Virat once again at the end of the episode was questioning why Sai cannot understand him. He is unable to express using his words, so he is pouring all of his love into his actions. But what he can't seem to grapple with is now deeply the vaada is implemented into Sai's mind and how deeply it impacts her. To him, Pakhi is nothing, and so, he isn't able to look at it from Sai's perspective. He had no idea how much listening to the yoga instructor hurt her. In a way, I attribute this to how blinded he is in his love for Sai... he cannot see anything past it. To him, the only reality is that he loves her. He is unwilling to accept anything else.. and in that process, he is not realizing the turmoil going on in Sai's mind and heart alike. I feel for him deeply too, because he is dedicating his entire being into proving his love for Sai. Their ways of communication are just worlds a part at this point...
Samrat's entry is the necessary trigger at this point in the story. It is the only thing that can stop this cycle from continuing any further. Because up until this point, every time something like this has happened, SaiRat have brushed it aside and never dealt with it fully. Best example is the pool fight. Sai was starting to believe in the reality of the relationship and hearing Pakhi and Virat's conversation brought her crashing down. Instead of fully dealing with the past and ending the vaada, the usual jalebis happened and they moved on. This time, it won't be so easy. They will have to resolve all of this once and for all. Things are going to get worse before they get better... but we are in the home stretch before SaiRat fully and finally accept the reality of their relationship.
CID
Bigg Boss 19
