Posted:
Maan...
Please stay for few more minutes...
Taking a step forward she let the silence sink in... it just stopped raining leaving the weather quite moist with slight cool breeze... the floor of the terrace was still damp with weather gathered here and there, it was still quite bright to call it night so it was just late in the evening...
He stood there leaning against the parapet wall showing his indifference watching the ends of her dupatta getting damp as they dragged on the ground behind her...
When she was close enough he turned around looking at nothing in particular...
Marry me maan...
On getting no response from him she turned her head and quickly wiped her tears hiding them from him... and walked ahead to stand beside him looking at the city in front...
This is what third or fourth time I'm proposing you right... you might be thinking I'm some kind of crack or despo kind of woman... she tried to laugh it off which was forced and awkward...
Two years back when we met at the market remember how shy and timid i was... i was all fumbling mess... and when you looked at me with that arrogant smirk of yours i was so disappointed with myself ... i couldn't even face myself, I was so embarrassed... i understood later that i was attracted to you... i always wanted to impress you... you know..
The sky was now clear with clouds passing by looking at the sky it would be hard to believe that it was pouring heavily not more than an hour ago... but then the mud puddles on the roads were proof enough
Remember that day when I got my appointment letter...
I was an introvert myself i didn't know how to express... i just wanted to share my happiness with you... and unknowingly i ended up confessing...
He turned the other side to hide his smile which was trying to make it presence known...
Ya i know it was kinda stupid but then it was getting hard for me to hide my feelings and once i let them out there was no taking back...
By now she was no longer trying to remind him or convince him it were just her memories sweet yes but were hidden with pain
I understood you rejected me then coz you were still unemployed and wanted to make a career first... and then you did, i was so happy that you managed to get placed in such a big company... and the stupid me ended up proposing you this time... and you walked away...
again...
was it so easy?
She tried to look at him but he wasn't facing her again... That was the question she asked herself numerous times... taking a deep breath she continued wiping the moisture of her eyes..
I learnt to overcome my shyness and be more vocal about everything only for you Maan... I even started wearing these Indian clothes coz i saw your admiration in them...
Sometimes times i think if you haven't shifted to our apartment then how would my life be... how would we meet... and you know what my Silly heart answers
What ever the path be, its destination would always be you!
During this year she figured that her family and friends more or less had an idea that she has some deep feelings for someone which may or may not be reciprocated... so her family started looking for alliances... they wanted to protect their child from heartbreak or were worried for her future or the unknown... whatever the reason might be she was getting stressed and blurted out regarding some stupid match in front of him...
That was the first time she witnessed the hidden passion in him it was like lava too dangerous and too fascinating for her virgin mind...
If he didn't have pushed her out of his room and locked the door behind her she didn't know what would have happened...
Maybe she knew but that was just her wishful thinking...
Accept it maan... how low do you want me to go, i have even crushed my self-respect under my feet what more do you want... Do you really think i would be standing here whole my life...
I wish i could... turning around and taking a step towards the staircase she said the for the very last time a very week pla
The last match which my family choose for me... that guy said yes... and...
But...l... You... i want to let you know again for the last time maybe... i know you can not speak... you are mute but your inability had never been a problem to me...
She remembered that day clearly when she came to know that he couldn't speak, but with that came a realization... it didn't matter to her atleast a bit... it should have mattered, looking at the pain he hides within himself but strangely enough it didn't and now even after such a long time it doesn't
I may sound all cheesy but i want to be your voice maan...
She stopped by the door of the terrace for a while in hope that he would atleast stop her now... but when that moment never came she steeld heart and walked off...
Even the darkness was taking over the very presence of light may be it was night after all...
Shabe intezaar aakhir, kabhi hogi muqtasar bhi
Ye chiraag bujh rahe hain mere saath jalte jalte...
Udne Ki Aasha
