Thanks to all who liked and commented on the previous chapter.
Enjoy this part dearies.
Chap-10
'I am sorry geet, I know what I have done is not at all pardonable, and I am not expecting you to forgive and forget it all. Its just that, damn I don't know from where to start? I am just so confused and I don't know what I am saying or doing anymore.'
'I could understand his frustration of not being able to tell anything, his uneven breathing, his hesitation, his frustration but I just wanted to know the reason why he didn't allow me to have a look at my maa's body, to pay my heart felt condolence to her and I just asked him what I wanted.'
'Just tell me maan one thing, why didn't you let me see my maa, why maan?'
'I could hear his deep breath and with a sigh he replied back in a painful voice.'
'It was mother's last wish geet, she was ashamed and moreover felt guilty for not telling you the truth, she was a part and parcel of my guilt and she just couldn't bear to look at the pain in your face, and I just couldn't do anything to change her view, she was adament and I was helpless geet, it killed me the moment she uttered those words and I realised what had I done, ohhh geet I just can't tell you what had I lost in my guilt and now I was on the verge of loosing you too, such an idiotic fool am I geet. The persons closer to my heart went away due to me, the sole reason is me, I am the cause of all the heart break and loss.'
'I could feel his hands snaking my waist and his hot tears as he held me tightly and cried his heart out leaning on my shoulders. '
'That day, I just couldn't fathom the thought of seeing you hurt geet and what I did in return, I became the cause of your blindness. I hurted you unknowingly. And I burnt myself knowingly for hurting you, I killed myself in self-loathing guilt for years, just to punish myself, I kept you away from me only to keep you safe and sound, though in that process I hurted you , I made you hate me. My mother, my colleague sameera helped me in this only to keep you away and see now you decided to go away from me forever. You decided to leave me , my life to become a nun forever. '
'I was just listening to all his reasons quietly without uttering a single word at all. I just wanted him to pour out all his frustrations, pains, reasons and I didn't plan to interrupt him at all. Though I had thought of a different kind of conversation, which would have included confrontation more but I guess this turned out to be much better. As he continued further, I took his hand and intermingled my fingers with his, gesturing him to continue. '
'I was scared geet, I was insecure and I felt cursed, loosing my father, then hurting you and now my mother. I am a lost person geet, lost in this dark ruthless world. And I don't want to feel like that anymore geet. I want to know, how it feels to be loved. I want to love you, I want to have you forever in my life till eternity. I want to cherish you, love you insanely geet.'
'Turning her face softly towards me, I saw warm tears soaking her cheeks, her heavy breathing and closed eyelids. '
'Geet will you give me a chance?a second chance to love you, to cherish you till eternity, will you geet?'
'Maan, I am scared, what if again you change your heart and leave me alone, deciding to travel on another guilt pleasure journey, I won't survive maan, I won't, I will die.'
'Shhh geet, let me prove it to you love, give me time, give us time geet and then final decision will be yours.'
'Plzzz geet, I am begg...'
'Shhh maan plzzz, dare you say that word.'
'Maan, I need a day to take this life changing decision, till then why don't we take a walk at the garden.'
'Ok, but more than my breath, I will be waiting for your decision geet, remember it. I love you more than my life.'
'Hmmm and as we took a walk around the garden, my mind was filled with uneasiness. But a decision had to be made, though he had confessed it too lately. I wish there was no such emotion as guilt, to ruin somebody's life like me. I just wished with a sigh.'
Precap-Can I touch you?
So dearies this is it for today.
Plzzz bear with the font size as I have typed from mob.
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T.c.
xoxo.
Shiv Shakti
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