THE LOCKET(6), MG FF, link new thread pg 1, COMPLETED

First Previous

Page

115

Next Last

Frequent Posters

893213

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#771

Originally posted by: sona-rai
awww Lovely update Avi
socho mujhay Bina Maaneet update read kernay main maza aya
yeh Din bhi ana tha...HAAD HOGAYAI

Your emos are crazy...🤣

For being here with me...🤗

I know it is not Maaneet but they are next...😳😳

Thoda sa pyar hua hai, thoda hai baki..😃

Quote

893213

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#772

Originally posted by: kavya.sravya
painful part ! why did chandan get married when he couldnot protect either his wife or his child...children... how was naintara's relation with him... and how come brij beat her up when they were living seperately...more to reveal...? on lighter part dadi is sweet...though pulling his legs...she didnot make him suffer...that was really cute...

Your questions make me smile. Someone who can think about my other characters... it is such a joy to see that you are curious of them. Chandan has his own story which will come out later. Brij's part also I cannot reveal right now, sorry but be assured there is a story there.

I love Daadi. Mine was like this too, naughty.

Thanks Kavya for the support.

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

893213

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#773

Originally posted by: Madhuri53
part 20 - so sweet...his dream comes true...and he could check the effect of dadima's nuske...the baby was so cute...again city boy...geet is irritate with city boys...lol...maan handled baby very well than geet...
loved her calling him 'suniye' and 'maan'...he calling her 'giit'
lovley part

Originally posted by: Madhuri53
part 21 - so it was tara's past...that why she is like this...she and her mother poonam gone so much...hate this brij...feeling abd for chandan, poor chap...is he having any good relation with tara...or he is aloof from both...
loved how dev accepted tara's thank you by eating her tiffine...loved dadi getting inf from dev
cont soon

Thanks Madhuri. Glad you are liking the story. There is more to Chandan and Brij coming once we are in the present. Next update will be Maaneet.

😊

Quote

Onir

@Onir

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#774

Avi... this one was such a mixed bag. I was grinning sometimes, sometimes just feeling a feel good feeling, while sometimes saddened by harsh realities of life.

Savitri Devi and Her CID cap... 🤣 I love her & all her antics. 😊

One line in the start that set in the pace & which I really loved was ..."No matter the problem, no matter the issues, mothers always solve it with food & petting..." There's no doubt in this statement. This was so contrast to what Naina as a child has undergone due to the baggage her mother carried... and also living through the torture & having a depressed mom trying to cope up yet living just for her child. 👏

Dev is changing but I'm liking the gradual changes in him. Its not like some love struck person but someone whose feelings are developing & going deep with each introspection & pondering. But natural that wound on her shoulder & knowing that something drastic his I-star has endured has caused the desired stirring in Dev. I liked the softening you showed & his observances... he actually is aware of the no. Of times Naina swings her hair while tying a bun... 😳 That's so sweet & I don't know but I liked it. They proved to be a perfect synchronized team with proper tuning.

Naina too has a lot of baggage as I had felt before in few parts.

Bambi's idea & coaxing did help these two a lot.

Also I liked how now Dev knows his worth & capability as Dev and not just a Khurana. The pride one gets on knowing you could do it on own footing means so much & boosts so much confidence, I guess all thanks to Naina he can now appreciate & live all of it well.

Naina's past was painful. She must've been Dad's little princess when Jeet was alive. Poonam's story was so harsh reality and saddening. So much to endure & living like a dead corpse. Her feeling of being dead when her Jeet dies was so hurting. The torture she endured of being drugged to get hitched to someone else by her so called own people, then being physically forced and tainted in her house which was filled with her love & his memories must be so tearing & shattering for her to endure that too in front of his picture, Then tortured by people for their own insecurity & cruelty dying each day & then loosing a child... no matter what the child symbolizes it will always remain a child - a part of the mother whom she nourishes & then finding her still born anyone would go into depression. Avi that whole scene was such beautifully worded ... and you introduced me to a different style of your own self.

Chandan-Poonam- Naina this whole equation & their life seems to be quite complicated.

Brij ... seems to be holding onto a lot of grudge... but I feel he will pay his dues soon.

What I really feel sad & upsetting is that a mother couldn't reach out for her daughter due to her own weakness in health. & Then she just couldn't reach her.

Naina is running away... I so want to know what transpired, what did Brij do. Also Chandan raises a lot of questions?

Naina can't wear now sleeveless dresses. and her Mom missed recognizing her.

Oh I so loved this part. loved it is actually an understatement. Its a gem... and please continue writing Avi... you express it all so well... the web of their lives (each character ) is so tangled & I want you to entangle them all in your own unique & beautiful style of writing.

Love you ❤️ Thanks for writing this part 🤗

Quote

893213

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#775

Originally posted by: sonai-adrica
Hi avi,
You know what i feel about ur brainchild... it is like i'm breathing in the fresh air after rain which is mixed with the fragrance of wild flower and mother earth .it soothes my soul.
In this story i love the most is the simplicity of the characters.they r not complicated not even naintara. My favourite couple is naina and dev. I know this is a maaneet story. But i can't help it. Maan-geet story is reminded me of my teenage life.their shyness...new found love...
longingness for one sight..one touch...one smile...one word...they r so real. But then also i love dev and naina a little bit more.dev is harmless but player. And i'm in love with the transformation going on of dev from a carefree player to a dependable and respectable person.that is the power of ur writing.i love dev's childish nature.naintara's longing for love.after facing such problems in life she still possesses a golden heart which can love her housemate as her own sister.otherwise she never considered her bambi's advise at the firsrt place.

i so loved maan's mob screensaver.u proved a mere shadow of loved one has the power to satiate a longing heart.
Ur every character has a charm as it is picked up from real life. While reading ur story i always have a feeling that someone is narrating her life story and i'm listening.they r so real.
I'm sorry i didn't comment before.
Being a student of other medium i don't have a good grip in english.so there may be some flaws.
Sorry for that.
Sayantani

I am so glad to see acceptance of both couples. It was tough at first for readers but they gave them a chance and now I get comments like yours that they are liking them better. It is a A+ for GF readers who are able to sense a good story.

Your English is just fine and I did not find flaws. It is also not in my nature to look for flaws, I would rather see the heart of the person who took time out to make me feel so good.

Thanks Sayantani for being here.

Quote

893213

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#776

Originally posted by: ritzy09
First of all thanks for a long part. I know how much effort goes in wriitng and thank you sweety for all the effort.

A very monumental part. Dev is changing. Realisation of Tara's pain has changes his perception. There is still a big gap between them because of the self percieved distance they have for each other. She is insecure of emotions due to such an abusive background and he is just learning to be responsible and is well aware of his own shortcomings. Funny enough it is thier own shortcomings which are stopping them from moving towards each other rather than each other's.

Dev is intelligent so he is going to fight it. His awareness, his heart he has no control over. She has more baggage to be revealed later. They are part of a team though and that is the first step.😊

Daadi is smart. Not only she knows where this is headed and is cool about it but she knows when to stop and give space for love and relationship to bloom.

Tara and her mother's past was sad. I could well imagine how she must be hating her own beauty to be forced into a loveless abusive life after she lost her husband. Reminds me of a song but in a much serious context

Mere gora rang lei le...mohe shyaam rang dei de...chupo jaoongi raat hi mein...mohe pi ka sang de dei

All she wanted was Jeet and what she got in return was a forced marriage where they threw her down the stairs TRYING TO kill her second child. Abuse on tara and hititng her...well it is probably will and hope to see her Tara which is probably still keeping her alive. She lost her husband and her child was abused. She was forced into marriage and why? Just because Chnadan wanted it. I just have one question, why did Thakurs especially brij agree for Chnadan and her marriage if they hated her so much. If they could be so harsh, they should have been so beofre marriage but alas...maybe they also had eyes on her family's welath.

Thakur's did not wish for this. Chandan did and no one could stop him. More will be revealed later as it is an integral part of the story.

In all this I want to read Tara's POV as well. What does she think of her mother and her pain. Does she accuse her of failing her too or will she come back to save her from this life of hell...

On another point, I saw your note about less like. What can I say darling. it is a shame that such good stories get such less likes. Your story has romance, love, emotions, poignancy and more imprtantly a foundation which anchors readers to it. It is a shame that not many apprecaite the effort and creativity of a good writer. Please don't loose heart is all what I can say. if Maanete story has romance and innocence in it, Dev-Tara story has pain and reality in it. I love both sweet and spicy versions. I miss and crave for both while I enjoy both. So please do not get demotivated. You are doing an excellent job and it will be a big loss if you shorten this story.

Thanks for always being here Ritzy. You may think it is an exaggeration on my part but when I find a seasoned writer like you supporting me in my effort, I find more oxygen to breathe and more ink flows out of my pen. You wanted me to make the OS into a SS or FF so just fair warning there are 20 more parts. bola tha na, ab bhugto...😆

..🤗

Quote

ritzy09

@ritzy09

Rocker

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

#777

Originally posted by: dqno1

Thanks for always being here Ritzy. You may think it is an exaggeration on my part but when I find a seasoned writer like you supporting me in my effort, I find more oxygen to breathe and more ink flows out of my pen. You wanted me to make the OS into a SS or FF so just fair warning there are 20 more parts. bola tha na, ab bhugto...😆

..🤗

Hum bhugatne ke liye tayir hai bas tum likhti jao...as a matter of fact now we will not let u stop...koi pagal hi hoga who lets a gem like you slip thru thier fingers...

Thank you for your kind words and btw...Trying to...hmmm...is Geet the second child...well now wheels are turning in my head and I need to go back and read more about daarji and Geet's parents you had written in earlier chapter...

Edited by ritzy09 - 12 years ago

Quote

honeygrape

@honeygrape

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#778

Originally posted by: dqno1

Chandan's story to open up later.

Thanks for being here Purvi. I used to always write for myself but thanks to you and Aashu I thought to write for GF.🤗

🤗🤗🤗 glad that you are here my dear...dil se saying that...😊

i couldnt read the entire lyrics because of the pain it was portraying...ur mom will be watching you n feeling proud of you my dear...🤗

Dev is almooost there...😳

chandans pov has nt beeen mentioned. i guess that will answer some of my questions...story is bcomin more n more interstng my dear...

love you loooads for being such a lovlyyy person...😊😊 i say that particular word to very few people, mind it😳😆...