"Welcome to Akhri Pasta's marriage.com. Where your life be filled with different types of pasta's bringing joy and happiness with each bite"
A man looked at his phone to make sure he had dialed the right number.
"hello...mama mia is anyone there?"
"huh uhh yes am here. Uhh I think I have the wrong number. I meant to call marriage.com number."
"you have reached the right number..this is Akhri Pasta speaking. The owner of marriage.com." (Mama Mia he has such a deep voice...oOo I wonder what he will look like in person)
"I uhh called because I need to find a bride for myself"
"Maama mia you are desperate to get a girl. Okay tell you what you come to my office tomorrow morning. By the way what is the name of this angelic voice?"
"Excuse me?"
"I am just a joking mama mia. Your name..." (he fans himself nervously)
"its Maan. Maan Singh Khruana"
"Okay Maan Akhri will see you tomorrow"
"Excuse me am I getting akhri appointment tomorrow? I thought it was in the morning"
"Mama mia...akhri humara naam hai. Aur maine tumko specially subah ko book kiya hai mere liye"
"What?"
"I am just a joking..I meant to say I booked you for my meeting already. Mama mia you ask a lot of questions. Anyway, see you tomorrow. Chao aur khoob sara pasta khaao" He hangs up the phone.
Maan puts the phone down shaking his head. What have I got myself into? He goes out of his room with a smile where his Dadima was sitting at the dinning table.
"Good news Dadima"
She roles her eyes "beta I don't know how long I have to live. I am getting so old" (She says dramatically) "I don't even have enough energy to even pick up a spoon" (She pretends to hold the spoon but couldn't. Maan looks at her with amusement) "Maan ke dada why couldn't I have gone with you?" (She says while looking up) "If you were here I would've held your hand and stop you"
"N Jaao Saiyyaa, Chhudaa Ke Baiyyaa
kasam Tumhaaree Main Ro Padoongeemachal Rahaa Hain Suhaag Meraa
jo Tum Naa Honge, To Kyaa Karungee"Maan coughs hearing an old song. He looks at his grandmother who was sitting at the dinning table with her eyes closed as she sang this song. He covers his ears to tune out this torture. Its not that it wasn't a good song but his grandmother couldn't sing.
"Dadima let grandpa rest in peace, please"
"He used to die to hear this beautiful voice of mine." (She picks up the spoon in anger eating)
"I thought you were weak?"
"This song gave me energy. Any problem?"
"No. I guess my good news won't affect you then?"
"Nahi beta. No news will give me enough energy anymore" (She says while wiping wake tears. She looks at him from the corner of her eyes to suppress her smile)
"Okay." (he gets up after finishing his meal) "I was going to tell you that I am going to marriage.com office to look for a girl"
"What?!" (She gets up doing a little dance. Maan looks at her shocked.) "Ohh my god. Let me come with you. I know what kind of girl to look for"
"Dadima I am looking for a girl for myself not for you. So I think I would know what kind of girl to look for. If I take you, than god knows when your long list will finish"
"I don't have a long list"
"Dadima your list is longer than these main stairs. It never ends. Anyway, I will get going"
"Ohh listen one more thing. Girls like boys that can sing. Make sure you know a good song that you can sing"
"okay Dadima. I have to go"
Maan drives to the office. "Okay a song...let me turn on the radio to see what good songs are on. I will sing the song Dadima sang. That sounded good. Yeah. Good idea." He stops at the front of the office. Maan sets his tie and fixes his hair...
Akhari Pasta sat in his office looking at the mirror. He carefully held a small comb in his hand brushing his mustache and hair. Mama mia that deep voice person will be here any minute...
"Sir he is here"
"Mama mia send him in...quickly" (He puts his mirror away leaning against his chair looking at the door than he readjusts himself looking at the file. Then he adjusts himself again putting on glasses which were not his. Everything was blurry. He looks toward the door and saw a blurry figure walking toward him. He couldn't see anything but he didn't want to take out his glasses either.
"Welcome to marriage.com, where May your life be filled with different types of pasta's bringing joy and happiness with each bite." He gets up walking toward Maan but ends up tripping since he couldn't see anything. He falls on the floor rubbing his bum
"Mama mia who put this here"
"You mean the floor?" (Akhri takes out his glasses slowly looking up to see a very handsome face. He puts his hand out for help but Maan just stands there looking at him with anger.) "I am just a joking. I always welcome my special cases like this. It makes them feel more at home"
Maan looks at the rare sample piece he has ever scene in his life. The man wore a flower shirt with ascot wrapped around his neck. His hands swayed left and right as he walks towards his seat.
"okay so tell Akhari what kind of girl you want?"
"Well, uh I"
"ohh don't be shy...okay let akhari help you...you do want a girl like Capellini with long angelic hair or you want someone like Fettuccine that is tall and skinny or you want someone like Lasagna who is thick and heavy?"
"umm I am at a marriage.com building right? I want a girl not a pasta shop"
"nice a joke" (he laughs)
"I just want a girl, a normal girl not a girl that looks like a pasta. You know what never mind" (he holds Maan's hand but Maan jerks it away. Akhari looks at him with sadness)
"Okay. Here are some options for you." (he takes out a big book filled with girls picture) "here are all the girls that will go with your personality."
"I want a simple girl, that is not like a typical Indian that is strong, independent but still has her values"
"mama mia are you sure? All these girls are so flat type of pastas. They won't look good with you. You need someone that can go with any sauce, that can mix well with different shapes and sizes. Like Tortellini. It is stuffed with cheese, when you take a bite, mama mia you will feel like you are in heaven."
"Thank you but I like simple pasta."
"okay then this book will be good for you" (He takes another book out that was thin and it looked like only two or three pictures were inside.)
Maan looks through the book and stops at a picture. The girl was beautiful with light hazel eyes, she was wearing a light blue salwaar suit.
Angadaiyaan leti hoon main jab zor zor se
uff angadaiyaan leti hoon main jab zor zor se
Ooh aah ki awaaz hai aati har aur se
Main toh chalun is kadar
Ki mach jaaye re gadar
Hosh wale bhi madhosh aaye re nazar
Mere photo ko mere photo ko seene se yaar
Chipka le saiyan Fevicol se
Mere photo ko mere photo ko seene se yaar
Chipka le saiyan Fevicol se
Fevicol se fevicol se
Main toh kab se...
Haaye main toh kab se hoon ready taiyar
Pata le saiyan miss call se
Mere photo ko seene se yaar
Chipka le saiyan Fevicol se
"yeah fevicol" (maan says dazed out...Akhari comes around his desk standing behind Maan. He places his hands on his shoulder. Maan comes out of his daze and looks at his hand with anger)
"Mama mia your eyes look like it would cook my hand into a limp noodle. You like this girl?"
"yes, set up a meeting with her. What is her name"
"Geet Handa. I will set up a meeting with her and the family right away. By the way I want my fees"
"Okay how much do you want?"
"Mama mia not how much I want but what I want" (maan gulps hearing this line. He is never scared of anything but this guy scares him. I bet he imagines me as some kind of delicious pasta that is why he keeps looking and touching me. Mama mia..damn what am I saying. If he touches me again than I will make mince meat of his mama and his mia...)
Mere photo ko mere photo ko seene se yaar
Chipka le saiyan Gemelli se
Ek pasta toh mujko kilha de
thumari choice ke
He does a little dance around Maan. He gets up nervously looking at the door for his exit. He quicky notes down the number of Geet and backs up toward teh door. Akhri was busy in his song and didn't pay attention to what Maan was doing.
Maan runs out of the door. Akhri runs after him when he opens his eyes.
"Mama mia...ruko you are my spagetti..don't go like this..akhri ke saath ek akhri baar pasta kaha lo...I will be any type of pasta you want. I could be penee like soft features or Manicotti if you like someone with different edge. I go great with all types of sauces.
Maan ran for his life as the Akhri ran behind him like a girl swaying his hips and arms back and fourth yelling god knows what. I swear after today I won't even think about pasta. I hate pasta. Pata nahi kaha fhas gaya...
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