If Only You Saw Me (1) - Page 45

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mayyo thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: kaamchorni

I understand what Shika means. I am in love ❤️ Kisse, kaise, pata nahi. But I am in love.

Kisse, kaise, ye pata nahin? Oh boy, that's something to worry about!😆

I love his nervousness. I love that he's The Man at college and yet still so very worried about his eyes meeting with a girl. He's so hyper aware of Geet...this seat...that row...diagonally. I'm enjoying how out of his depth he is with her.

You're enjoying his sorry state? Bad, bad!😆
Well, no matter how bold or confident we portray ourself to be - or even are, in front of the world - there is still at least one person who makes us feel worried and aware and nervous. We notice everything about them, especially when we wish they would notice us too...!

I'm so proud of Geet. Her success was inevitable. She is, after all, an introvert, not incapable. A little something for her classmates to remember.

So perfectly put, Z!👏 She's introvert but not incapable. People like her often surprise us with their ability to come out of their shell if and when needed, and success often follows behind.😊

No, Maan, she didn't. But when she did, oh boy. She's not smitten - she's surprised. She doesn't see the 'hotness' of his eyes, she sees their sincerity.

That's exactly what I tried to portray. She sees the sincerity which is what others overlook for hotness!

"...that isn't reason enough for the girls to be head over heels for him."

This reminds me of a prayer I once read in Slaughterhouse-Five: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

She cannot change that she noticed his eyes and smile but she can certainly decide their influence on her. Her head is fixed firmly to her body and will remain so until she chooses.

I've read this prayer somewhere. And liked it too. Yes. Her head is firmly in her control. But you know, the heart doesn't follow the head's will every time. You never know when the heart slips and disobeys the mind!😉

"Without my permission, a smile forms on my face...".

Can I just love her? Wait, I think I already do.

I'm curious to know what exactly in this line made you love her. The fact that her heart already started betraying her mind?

Thank you, Z, for such a lovely comment! Even though I'm not someone who's very comfortable when anything about me or done by me is praised at my face, this comment of yours still made me smile!🤗

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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: yappingduck

simply amazing.loved it;


Thank you. 😊
mayyo thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Thanks! 😳
mayyo thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Thank you! 😊
mayyo thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: aashluvsmaan

Grrr


how come i didnt know u updated :(

awesome update..

tell me why do u write in first person without names?

why no Maan Geet...u havent mentioned names anywhere

I could realte to teh stage fear myself...mere bhi hath thande ho jate the...

belive me i am a fundoo person who can do anything(at least i think so) but the first one min of a speech or presentaion *shudders*

thank god i no longer need to go ther now


I did PM you, didn't I? 😕

I'm glad you like it. 😊
As for me writing it in the first person. There are a few reasons. One, the first part was in first person. I had no intention to post it here or even write more of it, wo bhi Maan Geet pe. So I didn't want to break the flow, didn't want the rest of the story to be disconnected with that part. Two, I personally prefer first person POVs. This is probably a subconscious reason for the story being in first person. The first reason is the main one.
And I did mention MSK twice. Chapter two mein bhi aur chapter three mein bhi. Yes, the name Geet hasn't been used so far. 😳
Hah! I can relate to the stage fright myself. You're talking about the first minute being shudder-worthy, mere liye toh poori speech mein keeping myself in check was a challenge! 😆
kaamchorni thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Oops, did I say that I'm enjoying his sorry state? I meant that I'm loving it! 😈

Hmm, what about that line made me love her? It was the "without my permission" part and it's because it shows how in control of herself and sorted she likes to be. But at the same time, her smile betrays her all the same. It's the perfect pull of head and heart and you've written it with such innocence that I cannot help but be endeared towards her.
mayyo thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: kaamchorni

Oops, did I say that I'm enjoying his sorry state? I meant that I'm loving it! 😈

Hmm, what about that line made me love her? It was the "without my permission" part and it's because it shows how in control of herself and sorted she likes to be. But at the same time, her smile betrays her all the same. It's the perfect pull of head and heart and you've written it with such innocence that I cannot help but be endeared towards her.


Oh yes, you said you're loving it but I put it mildly. 😆
I am a little surprised by how minutely you've taken into the meaning of that one statement. If I say that you caught on what I tried to show, I'd be lying. Because this one line just come to me with the flow of the story. Now after reading your thoughts about it, I can see it in new light too! 😳
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Posted: 12 years ago
See, this is how I know that you're a gifted writer. You have so much genius within you that you don't even need to think about it! And now you're sharma-ing 😆
mayyo thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: kaamchorni

See, this is how I know that you're a gifted writer. You have so much genius within you that you don't even need to think about it! And now you're sharma-ing😆


Oh stop it now, Z! Like you said on your thread, 'I just write, you guys bring meaning to it' I think the same applies here. You brought in the meaning here and this is how I know that you are gifted whether as a writer or as a reader! 😊
mayyo thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Koolsmile

Maryam, after all that is happening here... these stories provides a little bit of solace to the burning heart 🥺
Its simply loved Maryam.. I was thinking about my position whenver i have faced the audience.. A shudder passes through whole of me, i was alwayz shivering although i never made an eye contact but still a fear was alwayz there to b the centre of attention
Finally thora bht hi sahi she discovered the beauty of his eyes n smile 😳
More is to come for her 😳


If you're talking about the country and it's halaat, I can totally understand what you mean!
I think every single person has had to face a little of that fear of being the centre of attention. 😳
And we still hate being there, don't we? 😆
Yes, she actually noticed his eyes and smile. Let's see what more is to come for her... 😉

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