" What is wrong with you! Why did you do this to yourself!" Geet yelps out to him her voice cracking with pain and concern as she held out his wounded hand.
Maan snaps his hand back turns away from her letting the blood slowly drip to the ground.
"Do you love me?" he says deadly looking towards her.
Maan: Jawab doh mujhe brown eyes!
"I. . .I don't know" she hesitantly utters, hastily grabbing his hand in order to distract herself and starts to pull out the shards of glass.
Maan protested a little in the beginning but as he watched her every action somehow his rage melted down a bit. Every time she would pull out a shard of glass she would flinch from the pain instead of him. She rips the sleeve of the kurta she was wearing and ties it around his hand. With every second that passed by, Maan was getting more confused and suffocated by her silence and actions.
He shoves her against the wall, entrapping her between his body and arms asking, " If you don't love me then why did you sleep with me? Why did you make the first move! For God's sake brown eyes I was drunk, how could you expect me to be able to control myself around you" his eyes seeping through her big brown eyes searching for his answers.
Geet was taken aback with his anger and harshness while at the same time she was dreading these same questions from the very second she woke up. How was she going to tell Maan without breaking his heart? Nahi! She wasn't going to break him. She would find a way starting with the truth.
"I couldn't see you in pain!" she says, but Maan pinned her wrists harder against the wall and inches closer to her face.
"I don't want your body! I want your heart!" he says with a deadly expression, his voice almost cracking in pain.
"I'm sorry" Geet says tears welling up in her eyes. But she fought against them, not letting them spill. She would no longer let him see her tears. She would no longer let him drown in her pain.
" Sorry kis baat ki liye? For sleeping with me when you aren't mine? Not only do you have someone else's name joined with yours, but also that same name is in your heart. . . Yet you still slept with me!" Maan cringes in disgust for which Geet lowers her eyes in guilt and shame.
"You think that this is why I am so angry? You think this is why I smashed my hand against the mirror? Jawab doh Mujhe brown eyes! Your silence is killing me!" his hold on her got rougher and harsher. Maan could see it all over her face, his reason of disgust was different than the reason he saw in Geet's eyes. Even after everything they have gone through she still never understood her hypo. However somewhere in a corner of his heart he held hope! His brown eyes would understand him. His brown eyes would understand his blind love for her.
"haan" she finally says mustering the courage to look straight into his eyes. But she was fooling herself the whole time as all it took was one look into his eyes for her to lose the battle with herself as the backstabbing tears start to trail down her cheeks.
" kash . . . kash tum sirf ek baar aapni hypo ko samajh sakta ti" Maan lowly mutters, his hold on her loosening against her as his fingers slowly slipped away from her. Geet senses felt the crackling pieces of the already shredded pieces of his heart. No matter how much she tried, she always ended up giving him pain.
"I myself don't know how you fell for a cheap selfish character like me" she says holding him back from leaving her, meanwhile trying to control the sobs that wanted to rip out of her throat. She wanted to hug him, and let herself cry in his chest. Her guilt was killing her from inside.
"Chup bilkul chup" he says crushing his body even closer and silencing her with his finger. They were dangerously too close, both their heartbeats frantically beating against their chests. Their breathes both fanning against their faces.
"Go ahead and fail to understand me brown eyes, but dare you fail to understand yourself samjhe tum!" Maan says pain clearly visible in his words masked in anger and authority.
Geet stood frozen in time with the electrifying sensations that his mere touch coursed through her as well as his boundless love that he continued to shower on her. She wondered when it would stop or finish so she could find a DAMN fault in this perfect human being that could never be hers. It was too late. He was so close, yet so far. Her tears continued to spill from her eyes for him. Meanwhile Maan just outlines her lower lip with his finger, letting it hang their longer than necessary before sliding his finger down to her chin titling it upward, her lips inches away from his lips. He dangerously moves closer to her lips, Geet not even having the strength to fight with herself at the moment just closes her eyes in anticipation.
"Stop me Brown eyes" he whispers his lips lightly grazing over her lips as he spoke.
Geet eyes instantly shoot open, from the jolt of his touch and lips. She found herself staring and drowning in his deep intense yet warm eyes, his mouthwatering masculine scent filling her senses and making her surroundings and thought process all hazy.
"I can't" came as a soft whisper from her dry throat. A reason she didn't know herself.
" Tell me what you see in my eyes brown eyes?" Maan whispers lovingly laying his forehead against her.
Tears just continued to roll down her eyes not wanting to stop hearing his plight.
"Please Brown eyes. Jawab doh mujhe. Please" he huskily whispers whipping her tears with his very own lips.
"Blind love" Geet says holding the sobs wanting to expel from her throat.
"Guilty has charged" Maan chuckles. But this was a different kind of a chuckle, where pain was disguised behind it. Laughing it away doesn't take the pain away. It's a lie. It's still their hanging over your heavy heart with a dagger pierced right through it.
Geet covers her mouth with her hands trying to hold back the sobs. Maan very much wanted to console Geet, but at the moment he needed someone to console him.
Geet makes a run for it, but Maan instantly hold her wrist and pins her back to the wall.
Maan: Hey. . . now you listen to me. You said that you see love in my eyes so then why did you say you can't stop me from kissing you? There is no pain like last night now is there brown eyes?
Geet's silently looked on as his questions bore into her very core.
"I didn't think so either" he chuckles again, that same pain stricken chuckle.
Maan: Pata hain na brown eyes. . . I hate myself so much at the moment. I am filled with so much anger for what I did to you.
Geet: But you are innocent. You didn't do anything you shouldn't have. You were drunk and I made the first move.
Maan: I have blind love for you brown eyes, but its not that blind to not be able to see what you are going through. You are drowning in regret and guilt hain na? Sirf aur sirf mere liye!
KYUN Brown eyes! Why did you do this for me? Why did you do this to yourself? You say you don't love me, but you surrender to me last night just to take my pain away? How come you have the right to give yourself pain because of me, while I don't?
He says looking over to his injured hand, but then looks back to her with those eyes filled with so many questions that Geet had no answers.
Maan: If this is not love, than what is it Brown eyes?
"I. .. I . . I don't know" another tear trails down her cheeks. How was she going to tell him it was lust or was it?
"You love me. . . you just don't know yet. You are just not accepting it yet. It's okay. I am in no rush," he says letting her arms go and backing away, leaving the bathroom.
Geet fell on her knees as they became jelly and failed on her. His love for her was making her feel so cheap so dirty! She wasn't worthy of him. What just happened? She was supposed to be setting him free. But the opposite just happened. He is going to wait for her?
Oh cruel blind love, hear my message,
Shatter my heart, but spare his from your ravage!
What is his crime if he fell for a low life like me,
You want eyes I will give you mine, just let him be!
If only Geet knew how similar she was with her hypo. She sees that her hypo's eyes are shrouded by blind love, but what about her eyes? What was her crime for falling for a low life like Dev? It's not her fault. It's not her hypo's fault.
Love is just blind!
Ishaani
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