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609931

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Posted: 13 years ago

#241

Yay Maan's POV again, oh how I love reading his POV 😳
He is so madly in love with Geet, & it must be harder for him to resist her especially after she's so understanding about his mission to find his long lost brother

They gave in to their desires 😉 let them go all the way Lena, don't let anyone/anything stop them 😆

Will edit this when you've finished the rest of the update 😊

- edit: yaaay! Knowing the story, all is not well with Maan giving in to his love for Geet but I could care less about Rano's threats to kill him if he gets close to her, especially seeing as you wrote the scene so beautifully!

Geet should be overjoyed that the man she's loved & chased for so long is finally giving in, I guess we will know her feelings in the next chapter 😳 - but I do understand her sudden surprise at his actions especially as he's battled against his feelings for so long.

Oh you have to update soon! This story has got me - hook, line & sinker <3

Edited by walkintomylifex - 13 years ago

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nafisa_kazi

@nafisa_kazi

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#242

wow, lena, simply awesome update...full of soul stirring emotions...

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Amina

@KreyaArshiLover

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#243

Gosh i am half dead after this,

Well as i was in shcool at that time i just left a small comment.

I just loved how he ran after her, calling him a coward two times. WHA KYA HIMMAT HAIN Geet ki, ke Maan Singh Khurana ko coward bula diya. But loved it. Thanks for Maan's mono its feally nice to know how hme feels too. Plz Lena Plz joh bhi Maan ko karna hain usko kar ne dena. Plz don't them stop. Maan ko horsh main yah Geet ko maat liyeana. I know i'm shamless but what can i do.

He he the serious Yash is not fun, plz Yash ko bhech main maat tapak dena. Maaneet ka kam aram she hojena chaye. Warna chuittis champal aur danda leke tumhare piche bhaagungi

Edited

What a HOT scene!!!!!!! But me have a qestion did it happen or not, really confused..

Edited by Kriyanshlover - 13 years ago

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storytellerm

@storytellerm

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#244

so finally he ahad accepted indierctly tht he feels for her
but he has many things in his sleeve to look after
to phele bhaiya then saiya
par kaam kiya jaye
loved it

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Zubi

@misssmily

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#245

Hi Lena sweety ! Am here !!! 😆
Hope u doing well ! 😊

Am really sorry have been bsy ( am still, but feeling guilty 😕, previous part par comment nahi kia so me doing it now ! 😳 ) Although am exited to comment on chap 18, i'll start with a "little" comment on the previous chap.

So here it is :

Oooh it was amazing ! I was expecting something else but u surprised me and did it in a different way which was really good. I was expecting u to give a "simple" monologue, i mean i was expecting maan to talk to himself, wonder and ponder over the situation... But u didn't write a simple monologue, you let us know his point of views through his convo, first with yash and then with Geet ! It was really dynamic 👏, i loved it ! 😳 It was not a "pause" in the story, u managed to include maan's pov int the "running" story !
Very well done ! 👏 👏

Comming to the story, I knew it, i just knew it ! 😆 after reading first lines i knew that the maan was Yash ! So that was the reason he asked her to stay away from him 😲 ... nice twist !

But han Yash me bohot akar thi... 🤣^^ He was kinda blamming maan for falling in love with geet... Yash is still " strongly" focused on their goal (not that maan is not) because he hasn't fallen in love yet... So would love to see him fall in love just to gain an insight on maan's condition 😉 ^^

Oh and maan and geet convo in the lettrature class ! 😍 OMG mindblowing !!! I SO LOVED IT ! 😳
Great idea, they started fighting in front of everyone ! It was so childish ! 🤣
In situattions like that you see how much maan loves geet, coz being a cold murderer, he is reacting so strongly to a simple provocation ! 😲
It show how much geet affects him ! 😳

ok now comming to chap 18: Oooh thanx ! 🤗 It has been a long time they haven't been so close... 😳 me eagerly waiting for the next chap... 😈 😳
Hope maan ko akhri second par hosh na ajaye ^^ 🤣

Evrything happened so quickly ! Again u brillantly managed to pass from an emotion to its opposit without break ! What amazed me ( and maan ^^ ) was that geet was hell scared but phir b she was replying back !

Oh and yeah i must say u've a good memory ^^ I mean being a writer sometime u've not the retreat needed to remember evrything, when maan said "Is it not what you desired? To be held tightly and never be released" I was like ooohh u remember !!! so sweet !!! 😳 😆
although the situation had nothing sweet in itself ! 🤣

And oh the nice twist ! 😲 Maan immediatly melted ! Instead of speakin of their love she spoke abt his bro... Brilliant ! 👏

Now if i've understood, Yash and maan are bro and their lookin for their other bro right ? Coz it was a bit confusing in the last part, but now that he clearly told the matter to geet, i understood as well ! 😛

My piece of critic :

Well there is one point u'll have to particularly work on ( but i think it's already done otherwise u wouldn't have been writing the way you are doing ! ^^ 😉)
Well the thing is : Why do maan and yash need to b under Mrs.Rano to find their bro? Can't they do it by themselves ? why ???
As always the reason should b convincing enough ^^ ! 😛

Another point : May b again some flashbacks are needed, coz u told us that guardians are trained in really tough conditions... They forget abt emotion and things like that... how in these conditions have yash and maan been have able to maintain their bond and went to the extent to go and search for their other lost bro...

I've something else to say on that ^^ : seems like maan loves yash more than yash loves him ^^ 😆 I mean in the chap 17 maan clearly stated it while yash said something like if ordered to do so he will kill maan... Yash personality is strange... 😕

Bdw where is yash, he is not the kind to let maan and geet alone like that... hope kabab me haadi nahi bane ga ! 😛

ok am done pfiou ! 😆
Am at work ! 🤣

Hope u'll like it, it's a bit rushed 😳
but of course with a cup of tea it will do ! 😉

Thanx again for such a wonderfull part! 🤗
IMPATIENTLY waiting for the next ! 😊

Love ya ! ❤️

edited : this one is really long ! ^^
Jab post kia hai tab dekha hai OMG mene itna zyada likha ???? BUT WHEN ???🤣

Edited by misssmily - 13 years ago

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Soapoperasrfun

@Soapoperasrfun

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#246

omg. This is crazy... brilliant. Great update.

Finally Geet knows the truth. Something tells me that Yash would have followed them and seen Maan and Geet together. Hai rabba. Aisa mat kara...

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Saba

@Eccentric.Being

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#247

Hey Lena,

Fantastic update.

Maan was angered to the point where everything else ceased existing except his mind going in frenzy due to Geet's outcry. But this is something that was more enticing because Maan is supposed to be a cold blooded murderer & trained specially not to loose his mind in any situation keeping the emotions at bay but he could not conceal how deeply, Geet & her single action effects him. Geet's calling him a coward was like oil in outrageous fire; he has to hold his emotions in to keep Geet & himself from getting in even more grave situation, bear his rival's existence constantly with Geet pretending to be a compassionate friend, Ms Devi & Rano keeping the tab & what not.

Hmm, Yash warned Maan to keep his anger in check, thinking if this was because he did not want Maan & Geet fighting in front of everybody & people getting more information that should not be disclosed or he was concerned for them actually.

Maan's words were carefully construed to make Geet understand the situation then Geet 's response was not that unexpected the kind she is but Maan's realizing depth of Geet's love was worth all the torture that Geet had to go through after his denial.

& about the ur P.S, I agree with that so no need to elaborate for me at least.😛😆

Edited by serenelove - 13 years ago

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Saams

@Saams

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

#248

I feel pity on Maan's condition and more than glad that he revealed his helplessness to Geet.

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Priya Doss

@riya27

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#249

nice part...

waiting for the continuation😃

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Zubi

@misssmily

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#250

Originally posted by: serenelove
res

Hey ! How are you Saba ? i posted my essay on the previous page !
Is was a wonderfull part wasn't it ? 😳

Post urs quickly so that Lena read it with her tea and then post the next part ^^

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