A very short OS but surprisingly from beginning to end, the contents were more than enough to draw that mental picture of a moment shared by the two. The entire OS seemed to me like a scene from an Indian movie...hence I missed the authenticity of the story..even worse I am not an MG fan, therefore, starting my imagination with Maan and Geet with a typical hindi movie scene did not create the urge for me to continue to read further. Yet...if I read the whole thing it is solely because of your writing style. With such few words you did manage to develop that portrait in a reader's mind where they can feel the passion and love. This is a unique skill that I rarely witness and I have no regret that I read it through. Brilliant showcase of your writing skill yet again.
I would love to say its a great a piece of work but the last line where Maan says.."Dinner and afters are all here" that one liner killed the whole thing for me. Something that I started as passionate love ended as pure lust (of course in my head according to my interpretation of your words).
So to summarize, flawless writing...powerful words that were describing each emotion to the right level of depth and intensity, smooth flow of thoughts as one continues to imagine the moment, one after another. But to me, there was no genuine concept and one can argue if the OS is showing love or lust.
-Neela
252