OS(MG): In The Blue of Night! - Page 2

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krati5 thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 13 years ago
#11
something diff... love d feel... continue soon
undisclosed thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Trailblazer Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 13 years ago
#12

that was lovely...the perfect flow of words...just enough description to allow us to make a mental image...yet let our imaginations make up the rest...👏

Ramhari thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#13
It is beautiful
But i so wish you didnt stop there
please continue if you can
Newdime thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#14
well well well,,,,something different Fatima. Experiments are always gud. it was romani. I have one line to say...
Kuch Meetha Ho jaaey. 😉
Edited by Newdime - 13 years ago
-SharNeela- thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 13 years ago
#15
A very short OS but surprisingly from beginning to end, the contents were more than enough to draw that mental picture of a moment shared by the two. The entire OS seemed to me like a scene from an Indian movie...hence I missed the authenticity of the story..even worse I am not an MG fan, therefore, starting my imagination with Maan and Geet with a typical hindi movie scene did not create the urge for me to continue to read further. Yet...if I read the whole thing it is solely because of your writing style. With such few words you did manage to develop that portrait in a reader's mind where they can feel the passion and love. This is a unique skill that I rarely witness and I have no regret that I read it through. Brilliant showcase of your writing skill yet again.

I would love to say its a great a piece of work but the last line where Maan says.."Dinner and afters are all here" that one liner killed the whole thing for me. Something that I started as passionate love ended as pure lust (of course in my head according to my interpretation of your words).

So to summarize, flawless writing...powerful words that were describing each emotion to the right level of depth and intensity, smooth flow of thoughts as one continues to imagine the moment, one after another. But to me, there was no genuine concept and one can argue if the OS is showing love or lust.

-Neela

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