An Abyss...For Maan

When Maan was not the great MSK, but a man broken in love, by love..........

She had left him a broken man; broken from within and without. The pain he felt was suffocating, tearing at him, as if she had actually reached inside him to mangle his insides with her bare hands. He felt as if he might break apart physically if he so much as blinked. She had brought him to the doors of heaven and then jerked back leaving him standing at the edge of a precipice; desolate and alone.

Hugging her had been the fulfillment of a dream kept hidden so long that he had not really believed it at first; but when he finally enveloped her in his arms, he had felt peaceful like never before. He was where he belonged, he was home. Serenity had never felt so tranquil. He could have stood there with her in his arms for eternity, in their own little haven; away from the cacophony of reality.

And then, she had moved, moved out of his arms, out of this cocoon they had created around themselves. He had sensed the change in her, seen the dismay in her eyes. Her face a mask of distress, she had run off with a tumult of emotions raging in her moist amber eyes. He had been confused and startled to see her in this state. Had he read her wrong after all? Her eyes, her words, her expressions had all seemed to lead him to the conclusion that she must return his feelings and just needed a push in the right direction - His.

He had followed her, to let her know the truth of what was in his heart. To let her know that he understood why she had come there, understood why it hurt her to see Pari around him, with him. He had been hell bent on getting it out, needing to let her know that it was she who had taken over his heart, his mind, his every dream. But she had refused to listen, refused the right to have feelings for him. Even though her eyes, her tears, her every heaving breath seemed to wait for him to tell her it was indeed Geet, she had refused. It was then, that she had pushed him away, away from herself, away from what he thought they had.

She had torn him up inside, telling him that none of it made any difference to her, twisting his already bruised heart by wanting to stay away from him. She had shred him apart, tearfully admitting that she could not fight him or herself anymore. The final cut had come when he had been helplessly pulled by her despair, to wipe away her tears and she had asked him to stay away. Stay away from her, to not come close; because -she could not bear it, his nearness. She had run away in tears then, leaving him looking on after her with an anguished heart; feeling like he should have fragmented right there.

Watching her leave had left him feeling something he had never felt before 'powerless; powerless to stop her, powerless against his own feelings for her. He had never felt this vulnerable, this battered, and this suffocated as he did watching her walk away. He had borne another knife to his heart before; but that one felt like a scratch compared to the deep infected wound that this one was. A wound that might never heal, never stop hurting, a scab that would perpetually peel off to reveal the fresh hurt below.

When he saw her walking away -

You spun your tale of love, trapping me in its web,
I turned around to see you, ripping my heart to shreds

Oh how can I stand here breathing, when every breath you took
Leaving me to yearn forever, for your touch, for your look

I thought I saw it in you, I thought it was reflected pain
I didn't realise till later, I was singing alone in the rain

well written dear

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏