Jokes - Page 43

😆 😆 😆 Good ones Jaz & Kavitha. Had a very good laugh.... 😆


Q : &nbs p;Why was Adam the happiest man ever lived?
A : &nbs p; Because he was the only man without a mother-in-law.

Some of these had me in stitches. 😆 😆

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?

It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.

It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered

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It is difficult to understand GOD . He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives

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If u r married please ignore this MSG,

For everyone else: Happy Independence Day

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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.

After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.

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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage

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Man receives telegram: Wife dead. should be buried or cremated?

Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?

Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

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Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

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There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.

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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

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Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?

A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

Originally posted by: jasunap

i have read this one before caryn and it never fails to put me in splits!!! this one is cracker isn't it???

Oh yes Jaz. I received this so many times, and yet it did not fail to put me in stitches as well.

I liked your gay joke. That really cracked me up. 😃

Guys good jokes... I'm still laughing 😆😆😆

Marriage never fails to draw laughs! Thanks gals!

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women?
Because when it's time to go back to childhood, a man is already there.

In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?"
The second answers, "I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here."
The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you're Napoleon?"
The second responds, "God told me I was."
At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN'T!"

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are

Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me

Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and trees and Fire Hydrants and......

Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get me

Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

A Surd dies and goes to heaven.. The gatekeeper does not allow him inside and says that he will ask 2 questions and the Surd has to answer both correctly.

Our Surd bravely agrees:

1st Question: Name two days of the week that starts with T.

2nd question: How many seconds are there in a year?

The Surd thinks for a min. and says "Today and Tomorrow"

and 12 seconds.

Gatekeeper is baffled. He says I can even consider the first ANS but how come 12 seconds??? 😕

Surd Beams and says----Thats Easy---Jan 2nd Feb 2nd Mar2nd Apr 2nd and so on............

Gatekeeper faints!!!!!