Jokes - Page 44

good ones Fluid, especially the hubs and wife 😃

Uma nice joke... especially the husband and wife 😆 😆

A husband was having a roll with the servant maid when his wife was away. Suddenly his six year old walked in
and caught him in the act. The husband gave a treat to the kid and asked him to keep quiet.

One day as he did not get his treat, when the mom came home, the kid said...

Mom, you know what dad did when you were not at home....

Mom,immediately suspiciously said...tell me tell me , what happened??

Husband hurridely tries to stop the kid by diverting his attention..

Wife shuts up the hubby gives him a killer look and tells the kid.."You go ahead sweety"--

The kid with the sweet smile says Mom, dad did with the servant maid, exactly what you did with Uncle John when dad was not there!!!! 😉

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"

The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No, think of another wish."

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women...know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'...know how to make them truly happy....

The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"


The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Three men die in a car accident.They all find themselves at the pearly gates, waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they are told that they must present something Christmassy.

The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistltoe, so he is allowed in.

The second man presents a cracker , so he is also allowed in.

The third man pulls out a pair of knickers.

Confused at this last gesture , the angel asks him: "How do these represent Christmas?"

The man answers: "They're Carol's."