Jokes - Page 40

Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan? Comepalakrishnan.

What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy? Subramanium Didn't See Me.

How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu? Ready...Steady...PO

What do you call a really colourful Tamilian? Rangamannar Rangarajan.

What is the Tamil name for the tallest building in Japan? Nikkumo Nikkado (Will it or wont it stand?)

What is the difference between Kunnank! udi Vaidyanathan and Gandhi? One is a violanist, the other is a non-violanist!

this one is especially for my dear dear HO!! and she knows the reason why...it has the two people she loves....

Jesus is the Lord's shepherd Elvis dated Cybil Shepherd
Jesus was a carpenter Elvis Favourite high school class was wood shop.
Jesus was part of the Trinity Elvis very first band was a trio
Jesus entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members Elvis entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members
Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25 Elvis Is a Capricorn. (January 8)

Jesus was the lamb of God Elvis Had mutton chop sideburns.

Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God Elvis First recorded with Sun Studios, performing what are still considered to be his foremost recordings.

Jesus Father is everywhere Elvis father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit
Jesus Said:" If any man thirsts, let him come unto me, and drink." (John 7:37) Elvis Said: "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM:1957)
Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights Elvis Had irregular eating habits. (e.g.: 5 banana splits for breakfast)

Jesus Said: "Man shall not live by bread alone." Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas
Jesus Matthew was one of JESUS' many biographers(The Gospel According to Matthew) Neil Matthews was one of ELVIS' many biographers
Jesus countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow."(Matthew 28:3) Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.
Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25) Elvis surfed on water. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount:1965)

Mary, an important woman in JESUS' life, had an Immaculate Conception. Priscilla, an important woman in ELVIS' life, attended Immaculate Conception High School.

JESUS H. CHRIST has 12 letters ELVIS PRESLEY has 12 letters
Jesus wore a crown of thorns Elvis wore Royal Crown hair styler.
No one knows what the "H" in "JESUS H. Christ" stood for No one was really sure if ELVIS' middle name was "Aron" or "Aaron".
Jesus lived in a state of grace, in a Near Eastern land Elvis Lived in Graceland, in a nearly eastern state.

The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she drank the whole glass down to the last drop.

"Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "Please give us some wisdom before you die."

Barely audible and with a serene look on her face she said, "Don't sell that cow."

Originally posted by: jasunap

this one is especially for my dear dear HO!! and she knows the reason why...it has the two people she loves....

Heh heh heh - Jas! that was really funny!😆

Oh yeah, and so were the earlier tamil ones which were similar to Sri's later post.😆

Originally posted by: ~*Thamizhan*~

Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan? Comepalakrishnan.

Sri, thanks for making others stare at me as I walked down the road grinning from ear to ear thinking about your Tamil/English jokes!

Originally posted by: Caryn

Marriage jokes

When they said save the last for the best, they weren't kidding!!!😆😆😆

Your are right Ho. :) Here is another joke.



WHY ARE MEN HAPPIER?



Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?



Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress 2000. Tux rental-100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is 4.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache..

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Originally posted by: Caryn

Your are right Ho. :) Here is another joke.
WHY ARE MEN HAPPIER?

Its funny isn't it, Caryn.BUT we'd rather be gals than those happy guys. What say you?

Originally posted by: Caryn

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky.

ouch!!!!!!!and so damn true...😆

Originally posted by: Caryn

One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

😆😆 I was on YM with my guy friend (my best fren) a while ago. Then my cousin(girl-considered best friend too)had called my land line phone for which I ended up talking about 1 hour. Then when i got back to him, he asked me what took so long...I said sharing things with my best friend and he said im considered your best friend too...But y it never happened to us... Then in a slight tone he said...How can you talk non-stop for 1 hour, if I am at your place I feel my ears are heated... And whole situation happened today morning and to read this not even after three hours really makes me laugh...😉😆😆

Thanks for the good joke!