Jokes - Page 37

Women are Smarter Than Men

There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. Ten were men, and one was a woman. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the woman gave a very touching speech about how she would give up her life to save the others because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children and giving in to men.

And all of the men started clapping....

Originally posted by: dasa1

Women are Smarter Than Men

There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. Ten were men, and one was a woman. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the woman gave a very touching speech about how she would give up her life to save the others because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children and giving in to men.

And all of the men started clapping....

😆 😆 😆 😆 ...hats off to the men for appreciating the weaker sex.....!!😉

The new wife was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner. As expected she gave a speech:

"My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family", she said "Firstly, my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine. No, I will never do that, never in a million years".

"What do you mean my child?" asked the father in law. "What I mean, dad, is (looking at her father in law) Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them, Those who used to do the Laundry must carry on doing it. Those who cooked shouldn't stop at my account, and Those who used to clean should continue cleaning".

"Then what are you here for?" Asked the mother in law. "As for me, my job is to entertain your son!"

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting.

Dad: "People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office".

Mum: "Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work phone".

Son: "Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile"

Maid: "So what is the problem? We all use the telephone at our work place".

Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers later that night.
You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me. Whichever is the case,,,,I'm gone.

Signed,
Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West
Virginia together. Have a great life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------

Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a 'good man' is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. It's just too bad it doesn't work.
Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week,,,and actually the first thing that came to my mind was "You look just like a girl",,, but my mother raised me not to say anything at all if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your silk boxers were $49.99...
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii.
But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you've always wanted.
My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed:
Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but my sister
'Carla',,,was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you !!!

Omg what one nice one Nallu hands off to you 👏