Jokes - Page 133

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his
tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that
such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men
were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here
lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the
tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"

A group of kindergartners were now in the first grade. Their teacher wanted them to be more grown up since they were no longer in kindergarten. She told them to use grown up words instead of baby words. She then asked them to tell her what they did during the summer. The first little one said he went to see his Nana. The teacher said, "No, No, you went to see your grandmother. Use the grown up word." The next little one said she went for a trip on a choo-choo train. The teacher again said, "No, No, you went on a trip on a train. That's the grown up word."

Then the teacher asked the third little one what he did during the summer. He proudly stated that he read a book. The teacher asked what book he had read. He puffed out his chest and in a very adult way replied, "Winnie the shit!"

Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good...mostly A's and a couple of B's.

However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."

Nina's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother."