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Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1341

Part way through his dinner date, my brother deduced the woman he was with was more interested in his money than in him. When the check came, he took out his credit card to pay the bill and was not surprised to hear her gush, "Is that a platinum card?"

"No," my brother replied dryly. "It's aluminum."

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Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1342

How to talk to your spouse?

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: I'm with you, honey, those guys are the scum of the earth.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of vegetables left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that bathrobe.

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Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1343

A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren.

When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."

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Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1344

What other problem can there be greater than this one?

Hubby: "You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?"

Wife: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture, and the problem disappears."

Hubby: "You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"

Wife: "Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

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Vani

@Vani19

Dazzler

Posted: 17 years ago

#1345

A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs.
The Customs official says, "Have you got anything to declare?"
He thinks a second and he says, "It's a nice-a day!"

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suram

@suram

Voyager

Posted: 17 years ago

#1346

Very Funny guys!!😆

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Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1347

This is for you Jags 🤣🤣🤣

Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.

This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.

🤣

What do a cllitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?

Men always miss them

Edited by netra_rama - 17 years ago

Quote

Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1348

And more Jags ........ mens are always mens 😆😆

In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs."

The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls up her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll show you my thighs,".

And men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full. Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats. Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis."

All three fork over the money. The girl then turned to the window and points outside at a building they're passing. "See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!" 🤣

Edited by netra_rama - 17 years ago

Quote

Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1349

The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals - a carpenter, an electrician and a dentist were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night.

The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them a chuckle or two.

The electrician decided to wire the bed - with alternating current, of course.

The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly grin and promised it would be memorable.

The nuptials went as planned and a few days later, each of the grooms buddies received the following note:

"Dear Friends, we didn't mind the bed slats being sawed. The electric shock was only a minor setback. But I swear by God Almighty, I'm going to kill whoever put novocain in the condom!"

Edited by netra_rama - 17 years ago