love comes only once (ff), Ch. 9, Pg 55 - Page 12

Originally posted by: ashvez

Hey Mia…I loved the change.Now its perfect sweety.tnx sooo much Ash, d entire credit goes to u.😊 and why do u say its boring.It so grippin. well u knw nt many interestin scenes nd all,ws layin dwn d foundation, so thght u guys might find it borin, glad to knw i thought wrong!!😆
U kno what I loved…the way ur shaping Sap's character.
Hey I loved the Pun…"denial is soo pass dese days... bold is in" So its is.
😊 👍🏼 i'm sooo happy u mentioned it... it ws my abso fav!!
Customising One ....hehehh 😆 😆 😆 That was good..well, in the show we need to customise Ridzee. 😉 my thgts exactly lol... infact dats wat inspired me to pen dis word!!!😆😆

U made angie a nervous wreck, nice to c that quite an opposite from the show & Ridzee calm…Good for a change. 😛 wanted to make a change in their usual pattern while emphasisin on their relation.

Armaan... she said the name softly, testing its weight on her lips, feeling the perfect ease with which the name just rolled of her, 'like it was the most natural thing in the world for her to say it."
Gottcha Mia, that was really good…considering how badly she needs some diction classes gud one😆…and I particularly don't like when she Rolls her tongue when calling ARMAAN. it irritates d hell outa me!!

Suld have sworn she heard the bells tinkling
Like Muskaan sez.."Ghanta baj raha hai"
😉 a subtle dif b/w d two....m sure u got dat!!😆😆😉

Mia enjoyed reading every bit of it....now waiting about the cliffhanger...hmmm now how does Armaan Know Spaz...that was Aditya rt??? Aditya's quite an interestin crux b/w Armaan nd Sapna...

Ab Kya chakkar hai.... 😛
Hey u did really good by mentining that Armaan has a convertible...shows his affluence. wanted to hint at his wealthy background, glad to hav acheived dat!!

Keep it up babes.

Ash.

tnx sooo very much Ash, m so happy u found it interestin lol!!😉😉

for a minute der had thght u had given up on me...😆😆

luv Mia.

Originally posted by: *Armaan*

hey mia, no it was so good and glad u liked my comments! Omg I wonder what will happen when she will become a go getter, now I cant wait!! Do continue soon and dont forget to PM!!

Kajal 😛

kajal, u r just toooo sweet ya!!😳😳 nd yeah ridhima's story gets pretty interestin in a while...i've yet to work out the exactness bt d outlines pretty much done in my head!!

never expected u guys to like it... u hav no idea hw apprehensive i ws to post dis... nw i'm glad i did so!!!😆😆

will continue soon, nd hw can u even think dat i'll ferget to pm u!!!

PS: will def try nd keep the length under control for d nxt one... thgh i won't promise it!!!😆😆😉

luv Mia.

Originally posted by: pixiecuty

kajal, u r just toooo sweet ya!!😳😳 nd yeah ridhima's story gets pretty interestin in a while...i've yet to work out the exactness bt d outlines pretty much done in my head!!

never expected u guys to like it... u hav no idea hw apprehensive i ws to post dis... nw i'm glad i did so!!!😆😆

will continue soon, nd hw can u even think dat i'll ferget to pm u!!!

PS: will def try nd keep the length under control for d nxt one... thgh i won't promise it!!!😆😆😉

luv Mia.

I cant believe you didnt want to post this excellent ff..it is just miundblowing and now we all are glad u did! lol...hehe...oh and please update soon..its been so long...but i shouldnt complain i cant even post my part up..haha!!

Kajal 😳

Originally posted by: sweet-niz

OMG IM SOOO SORRY
nywyz really gd
luv hw u described
sapna and ridhimas
feelings
gd job
update soon

👏

no prob sweet-niz!!!😉

nd tnx sooo much fer ur lovely comment, m really glad u liked sapna's description... had to put a lot of thoughts into dat!!!😆😆

will update latest by tomm.

luv Mia.

Originally posted by: saira_1

loved it 👏 !
sorry for not replying earlier 😳

tnx saira, app. it!!! nd plz don't worry abt d lateness!!😉

luv Mia.

Originally posted by: diljaani

I'm going to post this in a different fashion, so please bear with me😛


Fav Line of the FF: 'Time just makes the throb go down from a powerful drum to a dull clunk, but the pain still remains... haunting the wide empty corridors of the soul' This is by far, my most favorite line in your entire FF

Thank you, so so much for mentioning this line. I put in the most effort for this one, wanted to put across the whole pain and longing in one compact statement. Love ya, for this!!🤗

Scenes: All the scenes were written beautifully that stayed on track which also provided a crystal clear understanding of the character and the emotions that he/she feels👍🏼

Glad the scenes didn't randomly wander off, this was one of my top notch priorities.😉

Pros of FF: Excellent penmanship skills, brilliant details and character descriptions, very colorful story writing technique that keeps the reader wanting more, love the cliffhangers, very imaginitative with the descriptions and situations😃

Okieee, love the penmanship part. Actually I'm going to be absoluely shameless here and say that I love the whole package!!😉

Cons of FF: The use of paragraphs is a must or else everything looks long and too hard to read and comprehend, correct punctuation and complete sentences are also important to give the reader a clear sense of what he/she is reading😊

Hmmm, thanks for bringing this to my notice. Actually I have tried to make it more comprehendable in the second chapter, please do let me know how the second one fared in comparison with the first. That would help me immensely.

Some memorable scenes: I loved the way you wrote about Sapna's past, Aditya Malik and the way you described the beautiful bond they shared; The traffic scene and the jogging confrontation scene were both equally amusing; The last scene where Armaan-Sapna-Atul meet was quite exciting and a brilliant cliffhanger till you write the next chapter.....Bravo!!👏

Sapna's past was something of a surprise even to me, the idea just snuck up on me while penning the chapter. Once again, I'm stuck here with a simple thank you.😳


Comments: I'm impressed Mia! I hope my critique of your FF is taken in a very encouraging manner because I do not have any intention of hurting your feelings. A writer only gets better if he/she gets to know what they're doing good and also, what they are doing bad. Your whole FF is a treat to read and the only thing you're lacking in is the structure of the FF. I'm sure with time and more critique, you'll turn out to be a far more advanced and creative writer who'll churn out some great stories for us!😳


~dj

dj, your comments are more than just welcome, they are deeply appreciated. And you are right, it is indeed the critique that helps in improvement!! So please don't worry, yours have been taken in the right spirit. Now that I know where I'm lacking I can concentrate on that aspect, which here seems primarily to be the structure.

Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my ff, and commenting in such an insightful manner. Knowing how busy life becomes with college and all, this is even more appreciated.

luv Mia.