Saps FF: PG5 - A Bone to Pick. - Page 3

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pixiecuty thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#21
beautifully developed!!! 👏 👏 👏
i'm abso loving d way u r moulding dis plot hun!!
🤗 🤗
i esp appreciate d angle of dis flick...d slow evolution of sapna's character,little glimpses of her personality facets...all wrapped up wid underlyin humor nd practical circumstances.
completely admire ur knack of takin me thru d story wid an unhindered progression......fantastic writin!! 👏 👏 👏
kabeeraspeaking thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#22

Originally posted by: mehak_kapoor

🤗 fatty this part was so nice.......yaar i m loving th eway u are describing sapna,her life style n her family......... 👏 👏 .....i just loved the part where she was with keerti at the end n thinks abt her multi tasking 😆 😆 .........so finally in next episode we will have sapna's ayaan there in sanjeevani..........mind-blowing yaar 😉 🤗

Thanks, Mehak! 🤗 Really appreciate all the hugs! 😉 😆

kabeeraspeaking thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#23

Originally posted by: nureat01

I always knew you were Keerti's #1 fan (Vas 😉 😆)...so I'm so glad that she was the main highlight of this chapter! 😃....especially liked the imagery you used like the twinkling eyes, and a smile on her face 😉 It wasn't intentional, but she took over 😆 😆 😆

Ah, the wait for Ayaan! 😍 😍 You're KILLING us here, Fatty!! 😆 😆 😆

Thanks, Anu! 🤗

Ayaan shall come as he pleases 😆 😆 No, J/P. He'll be here next time around! 😉

kabeeraspeaking thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#24

Originally posted by: pixiecuty

beautifully developed!!! 👏 👏 👏
i'm abso loving d way u r moulding dis plot hun!!
🤗 🤗
i esp appreciate d angle of dis flick...d slow evolution of sapna's character,little glimpses of her personality facets...all wrapped up wid underlyin humor nd practical circumstances.
completely admire ur knack of takin me thru d story wid an unhindered progression......fantastic writin!! 👏 👏 👏

I'm still not sure where the plot is going, so that's just a feeble try of mines at building Sapna's affiliation with different characters, incase I might choose to pursue something later. Thanks Pix! 🤗

kabeeraspeaking thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#25

Edited Note: Was just breezing through some channels on TV, when saw Kuch Is Tarah airing on Sony. Get ready to hear me roar: The name of the leading male character in the show is Ayaan. I'm surprised (and unpleaseantly 🤢) and while I wasn't aware of this before, had named the main character of this story by Ayaan, because I simply adore it. It was not inspired in any way from the character on Kuch Is Tarah, and doesn't carry any traits over, unless by co-incidence, as I don't watch the show. If you can't tell by now, I'm pretty aggravated that Ekta has used this name in one of her fickle shows 🤢 And while I'm at it, let me just add that why do I have a feeling that the title of the show itself (Kuch Is Tarah) is ripped off of Atif Aslam's song that goes by the same name? Completely and utterly disgusted with BT and Ekta Kapoor at the moment.

--------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 3: Yours Truly, Long Awaited

Anjali dropped into the vacant seat, late once again.

"Crap. No, I mean Hi Dad, Hi Riddzie. Where's Nani?"

The table was laden with Nani's usual breakfast delicacies, Aloo ka Paratha, Lassi, Puri and Channa.

"She's in the kitchen. Hey, I've been meaning to tell you both that Ayaan's coming today. I'm sure you've heard from Dr. Keerti? Right. You guys remember Ayaan?" Shashank quizzed his girls, testing their memories.

"Ji, Papa, I do!" Riddhima replied.

"Ayaan Sharma? The new guy coming today? Are we supposed to know him?" inquired Anjali, a frown on her face.

"Di, you don't remember Ayaan? I got tipped as soon as Dr. Keerti said his name. On top of that, he's Swapnil Uncle's son, na. The little shaitaan we used to be friends with!"

"The one whose ear's stuck out, Riddzie?" Anjali recalled.

"Ouch, Di. But yes."

"Anjali!" Shashank laughed. "That is not at all the way to remember a best friend! I'm quite surprised you remember, Riddhima. Anjali here seemed to have forgotten entirely!" Shashank winked at Anjali, bugging her.

"Daaaad!"

"I just wanted to give you both a heads-up. He's new in the city, help him out, will you both?"

"Don't worry about it; we'll manage everything back here."

"Then I should get going. I'll call you both when the flight lands."

***

Sapna found herself standing outside the board office, on the second floor, at 9.58AM, with Atul yawning in front of her.

"Yaar, how many times do I have tell you not to yawn, Sapna? Haven't you heard? Yawning is contagious?"

Sapna yawned in response and Atul followed suit. They had both stayed back late last night, catching up on some filing and were paying the price now.

"Where is everyone? Only a minute left, now." Sapna wondered out loud.

"Are we doing a count-down here? Damn land-lady. The crackpot kept me up half the night, banging her pans. I'm sure it was her revenge for the sudden growth spurt of my bougainvillea!"

Sapna laughed and Atul made a face imitating her, just as the others came around the corner.

"What happened? My two teletubbies look crabby and unsociable!" Armaan badgered them both, smiling widely, charged on eight hours of sleep. Before either one of them could warn him to take out a few teeth from his flashy smile, Dr. Keerti arrived.

"Good Morning. Get inside."

They all stepped in, and sat taking chairs. Sapna took a seat beside Anjali, and everyone looked at Dr. Keerti, expecting orders, or a reminder. None came though, as they all just sat staring at each other and silence prevailed. Anjali became busy studying her nails, and Riddhima looked around the room, fidgeting. Armaan and Atul had busied themselves in a staring match, where Atul's eyes were terribly watering, and Armaan was doing the silent imitation of the devil itself. Sapna engrossed herself in their tom-foolery, as the slow hands of the clock moved to 10.15, and faint foot-steps could finally be heard, before the door opened.

Faded blue jeans, a stripped blue collar-shirt, white hoodie, and hair that stood up in places, brought in the object of their long wait. Sapna looked up to find Mr. Sharma saunter in, just as she had thought of him.

The swagger in his long stride, the way his clothes rested on him, the way he pushed open the door...She disliked him on sight. Attitude dripped off of him. It was so strong in his person, that she smelt it, even before she could get a proper look at him. Another one of those guy's who believed the solar system existed and revolved around the soles of their feet, the whole world worshipping them. She exchanged a silent, blank look with Anjali, as he took his own sweet time, seating himself at the head of the table.

"Ayaan. Ayaan Sharma."

All eyes turned to face the owner of the brisk, yet stirring voice. Sapna turned her head sideways to take a look at Ayaan Sharma, and saw exactly what she had expected: an inventive face, with mischievous shining eyes, stunning enough to knock a girl off of her feet. No wonder he reeked of confident manner, with a face like that. Even sitting down, she could tell that he was tall, with a well-built body and broad shoulders. So, a body fitting the face, huh? Nothing more than she had thought. Now, had he been not-so-gifted in the features department, she would have been shocked. No wonder she had been able to feel his ego inflate enough to take over, and eliminate all oxygen from the room.

"I think you've already been told of why I'm here," his voice was firm and assured, to the point. He sat back into his chair, and crossed his knees, looking expectantly at the others around the table.

Dr. Keerti took advantage of the silence, "It's nice to have you here, Mr. Sharma. Sanjeevani needs some new blood, even if for a while. I'm glad you're here."

"Call me Ayaan." A small smile played around his lips, as he looked at Dr. Keerti. Sapna sarcastically jeered at him, for even thinking that line of thought. He'd learn soon enough that Hitler Reborn was someone to watch out for. Only the he way he was watching her at the moment, was wrong.

"Dr. Joshi, please report to Level 4, Pediatric Ward," the PA speaker emitted into the silence.

"That'd be me!" Atul said, to no one in particular. "Excuse me." He made his way out the door, and the room returned to its icy state of stillness.

"I need financial reports and every transaction made in the past three years. Get me the accountants, and the lawyers. Checking up on the transactions is as good a place to start as any."

"You'll get those around Thursday afternoon. I'm going to need to make some calls." Dr. Keerti answered him.

"That'll do."

Everyone stood up, understanding that the meeting was over. He sat still, fingers crossed under his chin.

"May I ask…? How these interns happen to be here? Or why exactly?" He directed it Dr. Keerti, his eyebrows arched questioningly. They might as well have materialized into the wallpaper, for all he pretended to see. He hadn't spared even one of them a glance.

Fortunately, Dr. Keerti had good vision, and acknowledged their presence. Too bad she did so by dismissing them from the room. Sapna felt her cheeks heat, and stepped out, the others along with her. Sanjeevani was going to get nowhere, she thought to herself, with someone who had just made the five of them, sound like children playing doll games, in the first encounter. She had never heard the word "intern" being said in such a way. The heat in her cheeks threatened to explode, as she approached the general ward.

Edited by ftm_ca - 17 years ago
mehak_kapoor thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#26
AAja fatty tohe MB dun
Dmg ko main toh pe vaar dun 😆 🤗

Fatty fab job done yaar 👏 👏 👏
sapna n atul yawning in front of each other, i can just imagin ethat scene 😆 😆 😆 n their convo was so hilarious, atul as usual abt hi sland lady n plants n he is having teletubbies also 😆 😆 .........

The way u made ayaan enter was just mind-blowing.......n sapna is already irritated by him, gud gud irritation is the first step to love 😆

TOO GUD FATTY 👏
Edited by mehak_kapoor - 17 years ago
AreYaar thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#27
Fattyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 🤗

A million Atul Bear hugs for you for FINALLY giving us darshan of our dashing hero!! 😍 😍 😍

Kya description tha, yaar!! 👏 👏 👏 Electric, I tell you! I could totally picture Vivan acting it out! and Sapna's thoughts as well as disapproving looks were brilliantly written, yaar!

And what attitude, yaar!! He took on the great Hitler herself in the very first mulaqat?? 😆 😆 I'm lovin' this guy already!! 😳 😳

btw, LOVED the scenes you wrote in of Atul, yaar!! Especially the yawning competition b/w him and Sapna 😆 😆 😆 Oh, and Armaan and Atul's staring match! 🤣 🤣 🤣 I could picture it in my head so clearly!

FABULOUS update, yaar!! 👏 👏 👏 Can't wait for the next part!! 😳
kabeeraspeaking thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#28

Originally posted by: mehak_kapoor

.......n sapna is already irritated by him, gud gud irritation is the first step to love 😆

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

Anu and Mehak 🤗 🤗 🤗

kabeeraspeaking thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#29

Updating after quiet a while, so I feel like this chapter is quiet floaty. I've got even less idea of where the plot is going now than ever, and this one's pretty mixed up in terms of emotion and direction. However, Voila:

Chapter 4: Daylight fantasies, Nighttime dreams

As they sat eating some onion rings in the hospital caf, Anjali and Riddhima discussed a respective case with each other.

"You know, he complains of heartburn, but I don't see what could be causing that. Nothing in the medication currently prescribed could be the reason, and I'm kind of baffled. I'd give him some other medicine to help, but I have a hunch that it's not heartburn, but something different," replied Riddhima, a frown on her face, drinking up from the pop can that sat on the table.

"You know Riddzie---,"

"Hey Angie, Hey Riddz. What's up?" Ayaan plunked himself down in the third empty seat.

"You were acting quite the brute in there, Mister," replied Anige, coolly.

"I was going to ask you how your day went by, and how you're feeling today, but since you've been so cordial towards me: I'm doing well too, Angie!"

"I'm surprised you remember us. No, the bigger question is how you managed to recognize us?" asked Riddhima, pleasantly surprised.

"It was quite easy, you see. Anjali is still cross-eyed, and you haven't outgrown your impish look," he smiled at her, teasing, as Riddhima mimed an "ouch" at him.

"And you haven't outgrown those ears of yours that happen to stick far out, either," Anjali razzed, smiling, making him clamp his hands on them in an instant.

"Hey, women happen to find them attractive, alright?" He joked, laughing along with the both of them. "Now, if there's something good to eat in this caf of yours, please enlighten me."

------------------------------------------

Around 5PM, Sapna decided to consult Dr. Shubanker, about Mr. Shankar. She had been studying his case from the past two days, all the while observing him, and needed a second opinion. She knocked on the door to Dr. Shubanker's office, her head still full of Mr. Shankar's reports and symptoms.

"Come in." He said absent-mindedly to the knock on the door, typing up a report.

"Excuse me, Sir."

"Dr. Sapna?" He looked up. "Take a seat. How can I help you?"

"Sir, there's this case—Mr. Shankar. I've been observing him from the last two days and just picked up these reports right now. I've read over them, but they contradict everything that I've seen. The reports and his physical condition clash.

"Hmmm. Do you have his observation file?" He asked, as she passed a blue folder to him. "Ok, so he has diabetes, which definitely doesn't help…."

But before she knew it, Sapna stopped following his words, as he commented on Mr. Shankar. All thoughts of diabetes fled, and her eyes settled on his face. The way he talked, the way he nodded as he read, the way he gestured while explaining…He was so different. Different from other men, there was some kind of softness about him, a maturity that seemed to attract her beyond anything. He was calculated and controlled, yet his manner made people comfortable around him, rather than keep them on their toes.

"Dr. Sapna?"

"Uhhhh…," she stumbled, shaken out of analyzation, as if he were some strange, exotic animal. She hoped there wasn't drool running down the side of her face, or she would never be able to make him believe that Mr. Shankar's diabetes was her main priority at the moment.

"Yes, Sir. Definitely, I think that'll help," she scraped, improvising. "Maybe I'll try doing a thorough check-up again, and see if the results are different."

"Anything else I can help you with?"

"Make babies?"

"What?" His eyes widened, incomprehensibly.

"I mean, I ummm, was talking about how working at a hospital makes you realize what a miracle children are you know. Witnessing it everyday, just…" A knock on the door. Yes, she was saved. Silently nodding a thank you at him, she got up from the chair, and left the office as an elderly couple came in. "Making babies? Where is my mind?" The gutter was the only befitting place that came up.

----------------------------------

He stumbled in the darkness of the storeroom, looking for the old files, covered with dust. Good thing he was getting some tight cash for all this trouble. For all he knew, maybe that money would have to be used after he got an asthmatic attack from this dust.

"Ramkumar?"

"Kaun hai?" He looked towards the door, at the silhouette traced by bright light, which peeped from the cracks in the entrance. "Oh, it's you. Come here fast; help me look for those transactions made three months ago."

Two pairs of hands worked frantically at files in boxes, on shelves, in cabinets and drawers. Roughly five minutes later, two ward-boys exited the storeroom on the fourth floor. Making sure to part ways before anyone noticed them, Ramkumar felt his hands itch. Money had been scarce, but with these papers, he thought, the rising dawn, would bring some wealth.

----------------------------------

Sapna brushed her teeth in front of the mirror, trying to regulate brush strokes, as her eyes threatened to close any moment.

"Sapna Beta?"

"Ji Papa?" She turned around.

"Your mother sent some milk. Here, I'm putting it on your nightstand."

"Papa, how am I going to drink milk, if I already brushed my teeth?"

"Go ask your mother. I'm not the one who has a PHD in reasoning," he winked at her. "How was your day?"

"Great, as always, but tiring," she told him, continuing with the story of the nurse today, who had woken up one of her insomniac patients to give him sleeping pills. They laughed uncontrollably together, and as he bid her goodnight with a kiss on the forehead, he tried to hold in the coughs that had been taking him lately. Leaving his daughters room, he went to his own, only then letting the coughing spell rack his whole body. As sleep came finally, he faintly remembered his last thoughts had been a prayer: to see his daughter happy forever, just like tonight, even after he would be gone.

Edited by ftm_ca - 17 years ago
AreYaar thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#30
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! *squeals in happiness*

You UPDATED!! 🥳 🥳 🥳 Woohooo!! Aha!! So I CAN manage to bug you into updating...very valuable information for the future, Veeru 😈 😈 Muhahahaha

Awesome update, yaar!! My fav. moments were the part where Angie tells Ayaan that he has big ears, and he clamps his hands on them 😆 😆 😆

and I was ROFL when Sappy ACTUALLY says, "Making babies?" to Shubs! 🤣 🤣 🤣 What a line yaar! 😆

But Sappy's father yaar 😭 😭 ...Wonderful moment b/w them...but so sad to know that he's dying yaar 😭

Very interesting developments, Fatty Bear! Looking forward to the next one!

Thank you sooooooooooo much for updating after aaaaaaaages!! 🤗 🤗 🤗

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