thanks all of u for ur patience ....u all are so sweet. Thanks abhi for ur wonderful comments...sorry u had to read so many parts 😊
Now here is the intense part I was talking about:
😕
PART 27:
Koi samjhega kya raaz-e-gulshan
……..jab tak na uljhe kaanton se daaman…….
SCENE IN EMERGENCY ROOM OF RUSH MEDICAL CENTER IN CHICAGO AREA:
Zaib waited impatiently in the visitor's waiting area, "aakhir Kripa ko kya ho gaya achaanak? Restaurant mein mera gaana khatam hi hua tha….and then I saw her running towards me as if she wanted to say something……aur phir usey chakkar aaya…..and she fell down…..kahin wine zyaada tho nahin pee li is pagli ne? She seemed so happy and cheerful all day…..I hope she is fine," he prayed for her well being.
"RELATIVE OF KRIPA PATEL? IS THERE ANYONE HERE FOR PATIENT KRIPA PATEL?" a nurse came out of the ER pod and announced.
"Yes….I am with Kripa," Zaib rushed to the nurse.
"Please come in….the doctor would like to talk to you," she led the way to Kripa's room.
"Hi…I am Dr Walker….is the patient related to you?" the doctor asked.
"Well," Zaib suddenly remembered that the US was very finicky about privacy laws and many times would not divulge confidential information to strangers, just to close family members, "yes….I am."
"Are you her husband?" the doctor asked
Zaib was taken aback by the question, but on impulse answered, "yes…I am."
"Well congratulations then Mr Patel….your wife is pregnant….she was a little dehydrated and exhausted….we gave her some IV fluids…..she is still a little weak…..but you may take her home….the nurse will get all the necessary paper work ready….congratulations again…bye," the doctor did not notice the shocked expression on Zaib's face. As far as he was concerned, he had completed his job and his shift was ending anyways, so he was in no mood for any questions from the patient's husband.
Zaib stood frozen, his color as white as a ghost. For a moment, he thought he had heard something wrong when his heart had stopped beating at the - your wife is pregnant- statement.
"You can come in Mr Patel," the nurse smiled and let him in. Zaib noticed a frail and pale looking Kripa, now dressed in the hospital gown, lying in bed with her eyes half open.
Zaib thought, "yeh mere saath baar baar kyun hota hai khuda? Jab jab mujhey apni manzil paas nazar aati hai…..mujh se utni hi door chali jaati hai."
He walked towards her bed with a heavy heart and sat next to her, "kaisi ho Kripa?"
She opened her eyes, "Zaib? How did we get here? I thought we were at the restaurant."
"Haan restaurant mein ek sapna dekh rahe the….lekin ab aankh khul gayi…you fainted there…..so we had to bring you here," his voice cracked with emotions.
"OH…sorry….I think I had a long day….can we go now?" she tried to get up but felt dizzy and dropped back on the pillow.
"Kripa….can you give me Josh's number?" he asked
"Josh?" she frowned, "why?"
"He needs to know that he is going to become a father," he stated flatly, "you are pregnant Kripa," and looked away to hide his tears.
"WHAT NONSENSE!" she was horrified, "there is a mistake…..how can I be pregnant dam**t?" she was almost trembling with fear.
Zaib looked at her with blood shot eyes, obviously angry at her surprised reaction, "I am sure you can answer that question better than I can."
She covered her face with her hands and shook her head vigorously, "NO! NO! NO! That is not possible….that son of a bi***! He cannot do that to me!"
Zaib clenched his teeth, "did he force you Kripa? Bolo! Usne tumhare saath zabardasti ki thi kya?"
She withdrew her hands gradually and looked at Zaib with tearful eyes, "No….he didn't….it was my stupidity," she added softly. Flashbacks of that night after Hinna's party invaded her thoughts.
FLASHBACK:
A despondent Kripa reluctantly arrived at Josh's apartment to 'celebrate' his marriage proposal. Zaib's heartfelt song had stirred emotions of guilt in her, but she knew that she had to move on….Josh was the reality, Zaib was just an illusion.
Josh had been very kind and gentle that evening. He slipped a ring onto her finger and kissed her, "to my future bride….I love you Kripa." He played some soft music and poured champagne in two glasses. They toasted each other and then swayed to the music for hours. Josh knew what kind of music Kripa liked; he had a vast collection of soft rock, jazz, salsa…you name it….he had it.
Whether it was her resolve to forget Zaib and move on, or it was the champagne, or the big rock on her ring finger, or the beautiful music in the dimly lit room, Kripa was completely mesmerized by the whole ambience. It did not take too long for the experienced Josh to seduce his Indian virgin that night. The next morning, Kripa woke up with a pounding headache, full of guilt and remorse. But the smooth operator, Josh was, he convinced her with his loving words and gestures that this was the natural thing for them to do-after all they were soon going to be a married couple. Kripa tried to reason, "well…..most girls have already done it by now….I am 22…..I guess it had to happen one day or another."
Kripa got carried away by Josh's assurances but her guilt and remorse at losing her self control continued to gnaw at her conscience. She felt as if she had betrayed not only her parent's trust, but also her own soul by sleeping with Josh that night. They continued to hang out as a couple after that night, but her conscience did not let Josh take advantage of her vulnerable emotions once again. She would have brushed away that night as her resolution to commit to Josh as her life partner, had she not caught him red handed with another woman in his bed just 2 weeks after he had proposed to her.
They had a big showdown after that incident; what hurt her most was lack of remorse on Josh's part. He behaved as if it was a natural thing for him to sleep around, engaged or not engaged. He called her names like 'uptight Indian girl…..it was nice f*****g a virgin for a change……..I can buy thousands of rings like those……you can keep it baby…..your price for that wonderful night.'
Kripa had been devastated and shattered; she threw the ring on his face and walked out of his life and apartment forever. If it were not for Lisa, she would have abandoned her summer job and returned home. Lisa convinced her to stay and complete her summer job; they even moved out into a local girl's dorm of another university for the rest of the summer.
PRESENT:
"Give me Lisa's number Kripa," Zaib brought her back to reality
She handed her phone to him. "Lisa….Hi this is Zaib," he asked her to come to the hospital while he searched for Josh. Lisa assured him, "I know Josh is back in Chicago….I will get you his contact information Zaib…see you in a bit."
"Zaib! You are not going to contact that son of a b***h!" Kripa was furious.
"Yes, I am Kripa! Main ab tumhari ek nahin sunoonga…..aakhir wo is bacche ka baap hai!" Zaib replied angrily
"HE DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW ANYTHING! This pregnancy is not going to last after tomorrow Zaib!" she was trembling in rage.
"WHAT? KYA KAHA TUMNE?" Zaib could not believe his ears, "Kripa tum hosh mein nahin ho…..apni galti ek bekasoor par kyun nikaal rahi ho?"
"Zaib! This child has no business coming into this world…..it was never conceived out of love….and it will never be loved…..by neither parent……it is still early……so I will have no problem aborting it," she said confidently.
The word 'abort' stung Zaib like a shrapnel, "KRIPA!" he yelled, his body was shaking in rage, his eyes bloodshot, fists clenched, "TAKE THAT BACK!"
Kripa sat up, a little taken aback by Zaib's intense reaction. She had always known Zaib as a tender hearted, soft spoken man. She had had a glimpse of his anger at the temple when she had rejected his love, but she had never seen him so infuriated.
"Z..Zaib…calm down….you are over reacting…it is just an embryo we are talking about….not a real child," she said hesitantly.
"It is a life!" he retorted back, "I will not let you do this Kripa…..never!"
"It is not your choice Zaib!" she shot back, "it is my life….and MY CHOICE!"
"I am sorry Kripa…..you have lost that chance of making a choice…..that choice should have been made the day you jumped into his bed…IT IS TOO LATE NOW!" his nostrils flared at Kripa's insensitive statement.
"Yes…I admit….I was stupid to do that…..but it would be even more stupid to carry on with this pregnancy…..I have a life….a future…..and this pregnancy is not going to deter me from my goals Zaib…..my parents would be devastated if they found out," she tried to defend herself.
"Tumhare jaisi khudgarz maine aaj tak nahin dekhi…..Josh ke saath jab wo kadam utha rahi thi….tab tumhein apni maryada aur apne parents ki izzat ke baare mein nahin socha?" he asked
Kripa lowered her eyes; of course Zaib was right, she had been foolish and immature about sleeping with Josh-how could she tell Zaib that if it were not for Zaib's presence in the US, she would have never driven herself into something so foolish.
"It is not my fault," is all she could say.
"Of course it is not Kripa," he said sardonically, "it is never your fault…..you love to blame others for all your miseries and stupidity…..whether it was Peter….and now Josh…..tum tho bahut bholi ho na?" his sarcasm pierced her heart like an arrow.
Zaib was right, but how could she admit to him? Her arrogance and false sense of pride would never accept that she always made bad choices.
"Hey guys," Lisa entered the room and sensed the tension between Kripa and Zaib. She handed a piece of paper with Josh's details to Zaib and hugged Kripa, "how are you sweety?"
Kripa hugged her friend and sobbed, "I am a mess Lisa."
Kripa's tears had no effect on Zaib, he walked out saying, "Lisa ….take her home….I will be back in a bit."
Zaib took a cab to Josh's place. His eyes were welled up with tears; he had never felt so low or hurt in his life. Kripa had hurt him several times in the past, but the recent turn of events was unbearable for him, "main shayad uski Josh ke saath huyi ek bhool ko tho maaf kar sakta hoon…..lekin agar usney bacche ko giraane ki baat bhi ki tho main usey kabhie maaf nahin kar paaoonga……ya khuda rehem kar," he shut his eyes and let the tears flow on his face, "main apni khudi ko apne pyaar ke liye qurbaan kar sakta hoon…..lekin uska is jurm mein saath kabhie nahin de sakta."
Song in background: "ya ali" from "Gangster"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpl9o_0Dtb4
ya ali reham ali
ya ali yaar pe qurbaan hai sabhi
ya ali madad ali
ya ali yeh meri jaan yeh meri zindagi
ishq pe mita doon luta doon
main apani khudi
yaar pe haan luta doon mita doon
main yeh hasti
ya ali reham ali
ya ali yaar pe qurbaan hai sabhi
ya ali madad ali
ya ali yeh meri jaan yeh meri zindagi
mujhe kuchh pal de purvat ke
faki hampe chahat ke
rahe bechain dil kab tak
milen kuchh pal toh raahat ke
chahat pe ishq pe haa mita doon luta doon
main apani khudi
yaar pe ha luta doon mita doon
main yeh hasti
ya ali reham ali
ya ali yaar pe qurbaan hai sabhi
ya ali madad ali
ya ali yeh meri jaan yeh meri zindagi
bina tere na ek pal ho na bin tere kabhi kal ho
yeh dil ban jaaye pathhar ka na ismein koi hulchul ho
sanam pe ha ishq pe ha mita doon luta doon
main apani khudi
kasam se ha luta doon mita doon
main yeh hastii
ya ali reham ali
ya ali yaar pe qurbaan hai sabhi
ya ali madad ali
ya ali yeh meri jaan yeh meri zindagi
BACK AT THE HOSPITAL:
"Kripa….how could you get pregnant? Did you not use any precautions?" Lisa was surprised at Kripa's foolishness.
"He said he did," she said naively.
"And you trusted a bast*** like Josh? Good heavens Kripa…..the least you could have done was take the morning after pill….have you heard of the Plan B pill? It is easily available over the counter now….just walk into any pharmacy dear….I don't believe it," Lisa shook her head.
It was at that moment, that the reality of who she was hit Kripa. Although, she was born and brought up in the US, tried to be as American as her white friends, she was different- her culture, her values were different. American girls were taught how to protect themselves and avoid getting pregnant at an early age by their parents, teachers and doctors. Kripa was not one of them, her family values and her culture was not that permissive and she herself had been so ignorant that she never imagined in her wildest of dreams that she would end up in such a big mess!
Above all, she was ashamed that Zaib was the first one to know about her stupidity. Wasn't it ironical, that the moment she had decided to declare her love for him openly, was the very moment he had probably lost respect for her forever?
"Lisa…I know I made a mistake…my parents would be back in 2 days…..please find a planned parenthood clinic for me….I need to get rid of this thing ASAP! Please Lisa," she begged.
"OK Kripa…as you wish…..you know I will honor your wishes….your choices…..at least our state is not like some of the Southern states where it would be like pulling teeth to find an abortion clinic…let's go home and I will find out more information," Lisa assured her.
ZAIB AT JOSH's PLACE:
"Oh…hello Zeb? Isn't that your name?" a smug Josh received him at the door in his boxers.
Zaib walked in and told him his reason for his visit.
"Oh dam*! That b***h! If she wants money to fund her Law school…I will do that….I know I had promised her that cash….but tell her to not bother me with this paternity stuff," Josh smirked.
Zaib punched Josh and pinned him down, "YOU BAST***! She does not need your money….she needs a husband and a dad for your child!"
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?" Josh yelled, "I cannot marry all the women I have slept with…or father their kids…yeah right….now f*** off!"
Josh and Zaib had quite an altercation; Josh finally summoned the security of the building and threw Zaib out of the apartment. Zaib wiped the blood of his face and thought, "I guess….even if you accept Kripa and your child….you are not worthy of her…..she would be miserable with a rascal like you," he spat on the door and walked away.
There was only one way to save Kripa and her unborn child thought Zaib. He took a cab back to Kripa's apartment. Lisa was still there, researching the yellow pages for abortion clinics in the neighborhood.
"Zaib! Are you OK?" Kripa was horrified to see him all bruised at battered.
"I am fine Kripa," he sat down and sighed, "you were right…..that man is not worthy of being a dad."
Kripa brought a cup of water for Zaib and sat next to him. She touched his shoulder gently, "Zaib….please don't risk your life for me….you should not have done that…..don't worry I will be fine……Lisa is making arrangements for me."
Zaib had a sour look on his face, "making arrangements for the funeral?"
"Zaib!" she pulled her hand away, "you are making a big deal out of this…..it is a woman's choice….I have no other choice Zaib."
"You do Kripa," he looked at her, his eyes were burning with anger, "marry me….I will adopt this child….he will be ours then."
Kripa was stunned, "what? Marry you? For this child?"
"Yes…..main is bacche ko naam doonga," he said.
"Zaib….I don't want to get married just for the sake of this mistake…..I just cannot have this child….I have 4 years of Law school ahead of me…..who has time for a baby? It is a big responsibility….please don't even have such insane ideas," she got up angrily.
"OK Kripa…don't marry me…I know you have never wanted me anyways," he swallowed hard.
Kripa looked away tearfully; that was not true, how could she tell him now that she really loved him and would do anything to belong to him, but an unwanted pregnancy should not be a reason for them to get married.
"Kripa….have the baby….and I will adopt the baby…..you will have no responsibilities," he said tenderly.
"Are you crazy Zaib? Why would I want to do that? I told you this baby has no business to come into this world…..why are you insisting on this? Aakhir tumhara kya haq hai is par?" she asked.
"Haq hai! Ek insaan hone ke naate….tumse pyaar karta hoon iss liye tumhein yeh galti nahin karne doonga," he looked into her eyes, "please Kripa…don't abort this baby," he held her hands.
"ZAIB! I am sorry……this MY CHOICE….IT WAS MY MISTAKE…LET ME DEAL WITH THIS MY WAY!" she pulled away and bit her lip as tears rolled down her eyes.
'Khuda humko aisi khudaaye na de
…….ki apne siwa kuch dikhayee na de……' he recited
"Kripa….main tumhein hamesha apni sang-e-marmar ki murti samajhta tha……bilkul sahi samajh ta tha……you are indeed as pretty as a beautiful marble…..but as stone hearted as a marble…..tum ek aurat nahin….ek patthar ki murti ho……is khubsoorat chehre ke peeche sirf ek patthar dil insaan hai….kitna pagal hoon main…..jo apna dil sirf tumhari baahari sundarta ko dekh kar de baitha…..chalo achha hua….der se hi sahi……tumhari assliyat tho pata chal gayi mujhey," he choked with emotions.
Zaib's heart wrenching words pierced her soul like a sword, but she had no choice, "Zaib…..you can say whatever you want……I am doing what is best for me and my family…..you are being too emotional about this whole thing."
"YES…I AM AN EMOTIONAL FOOL KRIPA! Yaad hai tum kehti thi ki main ek poet hoon…..aur har cheez mein sundarta dekhta hoon…..you were absolutely right…..yes….i see beauty in all nature's creations…..and there is nothing more beautiful and pure than a child……I CAN NEVER FORGIVE YOU KRIPA….YOU HAD ONCE KILLED ME WITH YOUR LOVE……BUT TODAY YOU HAVE KILLED ALL THE LOVE I HAD FOR YOU……GOODBYE KRIPA……HAVE A GOOD LIFE!" he went to the guestroom, packed his bags and walked out. Kripa tried her best to stop him, but he did not listen.
"ZAIB….PLEASE RUK JAO…I NEED YOU….I NEED YOU AT THIS TIME ZAIB….PLEASE RUK JAO," she begged and pleaded, but he turned a deaf ear to her request. He had had enough of this 'American pari' She had broken his heart several times, and today she had broken all the respect and love he had for her in his broken heart…….
Kripa slumped down on the living room floor and cried out loudly, "Zaib…..I love you….please don't leave me…..please wapas aa jao…..'
A heartbroken and shattered Zaib took a cab to the airport to catch an earlier flight back home.
Song in background as the two ill-fated lovers separate from each other, both broken and torn inside….
"jag soona soona" from OSO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dgxc672ftWY
main taaj ya naamara, haay ve dasu main ki kara
dil jude bina hi tut gaye, hath mile bina hi chhut gaye
khel khale kismat ne
baar baar rod ankhiya tainu jo na vek sakhiya, khole aaye aaye kudarat ne
kattame ki jo din, tere sau tere bin
mein to jiya na mara
chhan se jo tute koi sapna, (jag soona soona laage - 2)
koi rahe na jab apna, jag soona soona laage
jag soona soona hai toh yeh kyun hota hai
jab yeh dil rota hai, roye sisak sisak ke hawaayein, jag soona laage
chhan se jo tute koi sapna, (jag soona soona laage - 2)
koi rahe na jab apna, (jag soona soona laage - 2) re
soona laage re
roothi roothi saari raatein, phike phike saare din
viraani si viraani hai, tanhaayi si tanhaayi hai
aur ik hum *hai* pyaar ke bin har pal *chin*
chhan se jo tute koi sapna, (jag soona soona laage - 2)
koi rahe na jab apna, (jag soona soona laage - 2) re
patthron ki iss nagari mein, *patthar* chehre, patthar dil
phirta hai maara maara kyun raahon mein tu aawaara
yahaan na hoga kuchh haasil, mere dil
chhan se jo tute koi sapna, (jag soona soona laage - 2)
koi rahe na jab apna, jag soona soona laage
jag soona soona hai toh yeh kyun hota hai
jab yeh dil rota hai, roye sisak sisak ke hawaayein, jag soona laage
chhan se jo tute koi sapna, (jag soona soona laage - 2)
koi rahe na jab apna, (jag soona soona laage - 2) re
soona laage re mohe
DISCLAIMER:
I know a lot of you are cursing me after this chapter. The views on the sensitive topic I have touched are not reflective of my personal views in any way. I have just shown how differently the two of them think about life and their responsibilities.
The second phase of this story will now deal with Kripa's redemption and her penance she paid for losing Zaib's love. We will see how she wins her love and respect back….
…to be contd…
Cricket
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