Yes, she wouldn't do anything stupid. Even better - she wouldn't do anything at all, except wake up everyday, be a good girl, and feel lucky for being married into a good family. Because wasn't that the whole point of a woman's existence anyway?
The fact that upset her was not that Bua did not want her to divorce Arnav. To be honest, she did not even want a divorce anymore, for reasons that went beyond assuring Payal's well-being... for reasons that would reveal her weakness, if she were to admit them to herself. But she wanted her family to at least acknowledge that there was a problem, that it was simply not okay for a husband to show up with a child from a previous liaison and expect his wife to not even ask questions.
She said nothing however, and chose instead to quickly end the conversation and usher Bua out of the bedroom, where Bua had purportedly come to check on Arnav. What was the point of saying anything? Bua would never be able to understand her; nor would she be able to understand Bua. After all, Bua's thinking was firmly anchored into another era, where women existed to serve, unconditionally, self-effacingly, and only had any value if they were married.
And yet - the thought occurred to Khushi, as she watched Bua gaze at Payal fondly during the ceremony - how would her family have reacted if Payal had been in her place?
She immediately rebuked herself. How could she even think of Payal being at the receiving end of her troubles? No matter how stark the difference in treatment that Payal and Khushi received, she could not go so low as to begrudge Payal her happiness, especially at a time when Payal's state of health was so precarious. Payal needed nothing but good wishes and blessings and love.
And she could be nothing but happy for Payal, that Payal's husband loved her so deeply that his concern for her affected him to the extent that it looked like the very life had been sucked out of him. His skin was greyed, his eyes hollowed and haunted, and his clothes hung loose on his body because of all the weight that he had lost lately...
The more Khushi observed Akash, however, the more it struck her, that there was something decidedly bizarre in his behaviour. She understood his debilitating concern for Payal, but there were times when he looked positively terrified. It was natural that he would not want to take any risks when it came to Payal's health, but why had he become so angry when she had tried to convince him to let Arnav come to the godh bharai? It made no sense - there was no way Arnav's presence at the ceremony could have affected Payal. She had felt before that Akash was avoiding Arnav, but why? And if he truly was that angry at Arnav, he would not have tried to convince Khushi to forgive him, would he?
There was clearly some sort of issue between Arnav and Akash, which had made Akash lash out at Khushi, and also, immediately beg for forgiveness when Arnav came on the scene, clearly out of fear. It was most incomprehensible, but it seemed that Akash was beyond worried... he was tortured, tormented, torn.
Akash caught Khushi looking at him, and immediately looked away. The furtiveness in his eyes was even more telling. Her intuition seemed to scream out that there was something that Akash knew, that he was not telling anyone, and that secret was what was weighing upon him, and causing him to be so conflicted, especially when it came to Arnav.
It was just a hunch, of course, but it was strong enough for Khushi to decide to act upon it. She cornered him at the earliest possible opportunity, when he stepped out of the hall where the ladies were singing traditional folk songs for Payal, to answer a phone call. She followed him to his bedroom.
When the call ended, he saw Khushi waiting for him, and that fleeting look of panic crossed his face again.
"I know the truth," she said simply, emboldened by his reaction, taking on an appropriately solemn look.
"What truth?" he questioned back, feigning ignorance.
"You know what I am talking about, Jijaji," she carried on, unfazed, "I have come to know everything... Arnavji told me."
Beads of cold sweat materialised on Akash's face as his eyes widened to red wet pools that darted around fearfully.
"Please," he implored, his voice shaking, as he hurriedly closed the bedroom door behind her, "Please don't tell Payal. I love her so much, more than anything else. I am really sorry for doing this to you, to Bhai. Trust me, I have not been able to sleep in months. I feel so terrible, so guilty at what I have done. Please don't tell her. That's all I ask. I will do anything! Please..."
It took an enormous effort on Khushi's part to hide her shock and confusion. What was it that Akash had done? Why was he feeling so guilty?
Before Khushi could say anything, Akash had dropped down to his knees and was shaking uncontrollably at her feet.
"Jijaji..." she said weakly, trying to hoist him back up.
"Don't call me that... I don't deserve... after what I have done to you. It has not even been three months since you got married, and because of me... All because of me... You must hate me. Bhai must hate me too. Yes, he hates me. Why else would he have gone back on his word?"
He looked up abruptly, alarmed and petrified, as though he had just realised something something horrifying, and began to mutter almost incomprehensibly, as though his thoughts were racing so fast that his words could not keep up - "Bhai broke his promise... He had promised me, and yet, he told you... He will tell Payal... You will tell Payal... Everything, everything will be over."
As Khushi struggled to make sense of the situation, suddenly, something clicked in her mind. There had been a promise. Arnav had made a promise. He had told her about it on the rooftop. He had told her that the reason why he could not give her the answers she sought, was because he had given his word to someone, and he could not break his promise. That promise had been made to Akash.
The puzzle was rearranging itself, and she knew where the missing piece lied.
"Jijaji... Anaita..." she said slowly, her heart pounding in anticipation, hoping Akash would fill in the blanks.
And he did.
The breakthrough came, finally, as Akash sobbed into his hands, "Yes, I know, she's my responsibility, not Bhai's. She's my daughter, and I should have... but I was... scared... I just could not lose Payal, and I kept going deeper and deeper in the hole I had dug for myself. And now, I have no other choice. If something happens to Payal..."
The rest of his words were drowned out by the sound of blood palpitating in Khushi's ears as she walked away, wordlessly, tears streaming along her cheeks. Myriad emotions ran through her mind, each vying for dominance, and rendering her numb in the process.
She was disgusted at Akash, for what he had done to Payal, to Anaita... to Arnav. It was because of Akash, that Arnav had to suffer disapproval, and downright ostracisation, from the whole family. And yet, Akash had not said a word.
There was heart wrenching sadness too, when she realised that Arnav was being punished for a mistake that he had never committed, and yet, he had never said anything and continued to protect Akash.
She felt proud of Arnav, for being such a good brother, and such a selfless human being, to have taken in Anaita as though she truly was his daughter.
There was also relief, that she had not been wrong in her assessment of his character after all. He was even more righteous and principled than she had imagined. He was not the kind of person who would impregnate someone out of wedlock and turn away from his responsibilities. He was the kind of person who took on other people's responsibilities. He had insisted on doing the right thing by bringing innocent Anaita home, even if it meant that he had to face a backlash from his family as a result.
And there was tremendous happiness, as she understood that the reason behind his silence was the promise he had made to Akash, and not a lack of respect for her, or what she had imagined to be his love for Anaita's mother.
But above all else, she felt angry at Arnav for subjecting himself to such anguish, and for keeping it all to himself, and never letting her realise what he was going through. They were partners, weren't they? And how could he allow her to think so badly of him, without defending himself to her even once? How could he suffer in silence, all by himself, all this time? How could she forgive him for having put himself through so much pain?
She was still in a daze by the time she reached their bedroom, completely at a loss as to how to process what had just happened.
And as she saw him, sitting at the edge of the recliner, with his head between his hands, all other feelings momentarily faded away, until all she felt was an irresistible urge to throw herself in his arms. But her feet would not budge, and she just stood there.
When he looked up, his eyes were bloodshot and teary.
"Why are you crying?" Arnav asked, visibly concerned, as he walked up to her, "Did someone say something? What happened?"
She did not reply; her mind was reeling with too many thoughts and emotions.
He took a deep breath before he said, "Khushi, I have to tell you something. It's time you got to know the truth... about Anaita."
...
Arjun
Cricket
10