Love, am I not worth it ?
Chapter 11
Julian's POV
Part 1
Julian, Julian Malhotra. That is my name. An Anglo Indian. Born to an Indian father and British mother. My father had come to London for work. There he met my Mom and fell in love with her. Overcoming the resistance from both the families both got married.
After three years of marriage, I was born. When I was three years old, my Mom died because of an incurable disease. After that my father was my every thing. We were each other's companion. My father loved my Mom so much so he decided to never marry again and raise me on his own.
We both were very close. He was the best father. He had brought me up with high moral values that he followed even after being in London for such a long time. He was a complete Indian in his followings in spite of his life in a foreign country.
But the happy moments were short lived. When I was ten years old, my father died in a plane crash. He had gone to California for a business meeting leaving me at home with my Nanny. My life turned upside down due to that. I was left alone in this world. I stopped believing in the so called God.
I was sent to an orphanage. My life started becoming more difficult. I was brought up in Indian culture by my father. So coping with the British culture was getting difficult for me.
After a couple of years, I was adopted by a British family who were childless. There also I faced the same problem. It was difficult for me to adapt their British culture. Their way of living was different than me. I was a Hindu while they were Christian.
When I refused to give up on my father's name and take theirs, I saw them getting disappointed. But they gave in. I tried adapting their culture. They helped me.
But the main problem was the outside world who always looked upon me as an inferior once they found out that I am an Indian. It was not difficult to identify given my name and looks which were completely Indian. My classmates weren't interested in keeping friendship with me. They always kept me away.
People were always rude to me. But my foster parents were my biggest supports. They became my companion. They loved me unconditionally. I soon started warming up towards them.
But my life once again turned upside down when I lost my foster parents also in an accident when I was 15. I was once left alone in this world. I lost faith in love and relationships. I understood that I am not for having any relationship. Every person I loved were snatched away from me.
I started staying aloof from everybody. When the authorities tried to take me to an orphanage, I refused. I was not ready to once again through all these. I started staying alone. My parents and foster parents were rich. They had left me a good fortune.
But that came as a curse. People started befriending me for my money. I got into bad companies. I took to alcohol, drugs etc. I started racing, gambling and partying all the time. The morals that my father has instilled in me were lost. The only good thing that was left in my life was my studies.
Slowly, I started loosing my fortune. Then I started taking loans to fulfill my needs. But with no way of income I was crushed under heavy debts. People started threatening me for their money. I started running away from them.
My life was a complete mess. With no one to properly guide me, I was loosing myself. My bad company weren't helping either. Even after trying a lot I couldn't come out of the dark life I had pushed myself into.
But my life took a new turn when she entered my life. Khushi. Khushi Agnihotri. My Doll face. She changed me and my life completely. I still remember the first time I met her.
I was sitting with my friends at our university entrance ragging the new students, when she walked in through the entrance. Everyone around me was mesmerized including me. She was beautiful like a cute little kitten.
Her innocence and purity were showing in her face. I haven't never seen such innocence in my twenty years of life. One of my friend who was there for the welcoming ceremony told me that she had stood first in the entrance exam that kept for the students all around the world. She was so young maybe some fifteen or sixteen years, very young to have gotten admission in one of the most reputed university in the world.
On once side I got lost in her innocence but on the other side I was jealous. She was something that I wanted to be. She reminded me of the things I lost in my life. The innocence, purity of heart and the morals that my father gave. I felt my lose mocking at me.
I soon masked my feelings and started acting nonchalant. By the time my friends had already started ragging her and her friend (Neha). They asked her to kiss me which she immediately obliged without making any fuss. Beaming she kissed me on my cheeks.
I was shocked. I expected her to refuse, make a scene, even cry but she just kissed me on my cheeks without any problem. I was stunned. My friends made it easy for me by asking the question which was reeling in my head.
"Why are you smiling? Don't you have any problem kissing a stranger guy? You are an Indian, right? We have heard that Indians are so sensitive in such matters."
What she answered knocked me off my senses. "Yes, I am an Indian. My name is Khushi Agnihotri. Sure enough Indians do have problem kissing stranger guys. But we do kiss our brothers on their cheeks". Her answer stunned me. She indirectly called me her brother. She was so innocent. I felt a protective feelings filling up for her in my heart.
I had never felt so for anybody. She was the first person who had evoked some feelings in my heart after my foster parents' death. I felt like taking her away from this cruel world and hiding her somewhere. She was too innocent and naive to be left alone in this world.
But I pushed my thoughts away. I knew that once she would know about my real self she would never dare to come in a hand's distance of me. Forget calling or considering me her brother. Even I myself was afraid to go near her. What if I hurt her with my behavior. What if something happen to her because of me. What if someone hurt her to get back at me.
No I can't let her come in my dark life. She shouldn't be brought into my messed up life. She doesn't deserve this. She is innocent, my world could hurt her. I can't let it happen. She has to be kept away from me and the darkness that surrounded me. I thought determined. I decided to push her away.
When I looked up I saw her looking at me expectantly. May be waiting for my reaction. I wanted to talk to her, be friends with her, be her brother as she was asking me to be. But I can't. I knew what I am going to do was going to hurt her.
Getting up from the bike in which I was sitting I went near her. She was wearing a beautiful white Churidaar looking like an angel. Her face was devoid of any make-up but still looked more enchanting than the face of any supermodel with tons of make-up.
Looking her up and down, I gave a mocking smile to her. "So you are saying that I am like your brother." I felt proud referring to myself as that. "But do you what I feel for you. Disgust. Come on look at you, you are looking so ugly. Your dress. It looks like you have taken the cloth of five dresses and made a dress. Look at your face I have never seen such a worst face in my life. I feel like vomiting seeing your face. You are saying me your brother. Hahaha... What a joke. Look at you and look at me. Do you see any match. I am a cool dude and you yuck. Now leave from here. Don't ever come in front of me."
Hearing me she smiled. I was once again stunned. I never expected that.
"What is your name." She asked.
"Huh"
"What's your name".
" Julian. Julian Malhotra. "
"That is an amazing name. Julian. Means youth. But I will call you Jules. Well I don't know how I am looking but you are really handsome. Anyway I have to go now. I will meet you later. Bye" Waving her hand she left with Neha while I stood gaping at her.
I never expected her to react like that. I thought if I will insult her she would maintain her distance. But I tried to act nonchalant. I brushed her thoughts away. I thought she was just trying to hide her embarrassment. She wouldn't come again in front of me.
But I was wrong. She came again next day morning and started talking about her day and how was she feeling about college etc. I showed that I was not interested. But I was secretly enjoying her innocent talks. I didn't reply anything. After finishing her monolog she went away.
This happened the next day also and it continued. She would come to me in the morning talk and then go to her class. I never replied anything to her. But nevertheless enjoyed her talks secretly. I started looking forward for her.
But one day I was totally pissed off. One of my creditors had threatened me. When she came I shouted at her, told her how I am, how bad my life is. She heard everything and left silently.
I thought I lost her. She would never come back knowing my truth. But she surprised me yet again. She came back as a boomerang next day and started talking with me as if nothing happened. I was happy inside but I never admitted it. My fear of loosing my loved ones forced me to keep her away from me.
My life started getting difficult. One of my creditors had threatened me that he would kill me if I didn't return his money. One day while coming back home from college his men attacked me and left me to die.
At that time Khushi and Neha came there and took me to hospital. They stayed there taking care of me. I started feeling guilty of my behavior towards them. They both always considered me their brother and tried talking with me but I was always rude to them. Now when I am in hospital nobody was there with me not even my so called friends. Only they were there with me in my difficult time. I wanted to apologize to them but didn't know how.
One day while I was in hospital, the creditor who tried to kill me came there on knowing that I am alive. He again tried to threaten me but at that time Khushi came there.
On seeing him, she shouted at him. She told him that if tried to harm me then she will call cops and put him behind bars. That she is a lawyer and she can put him in jail for his whole life. Then she asked him about the loan I had taken from him. Knowing the amount she paid off the money.
That day I saw my cute kitten turning into a wild tigress. If I say that I wasn't scared seeing her demeanor then it would be a lie. Sure enough I was baffled. The innocent soft spoken girl threatening a gangster( the creditor was no less than a gangster) was something I never thought.
After a week I was discharged. Later I came to know that she had paid all my other debts and also had put that creditor who had tried to kill me behind bars.
I knew what I had to do. Next day itself I went to meet her and apologized for my behavior. I forwarded my hand in friendship. But she refused. She said that I am befriending her only because I felt debited to her for paying my loans not because I want to be her friend.
It took me a while to convince her. Finally when she accepted my friendship there was no looking back. She and Neha became my best friends. My sisters. Finally I had someone to call mine.
I stopped drinking, taking drugs, gambling, racing etc. It so happened that one day Khushi and Neha saw me taking part in a very dangerous racing. Because of that both stopped talking to me for a week. They only relented when I finally sweared on them that I would not do that again.
Very soon, we became very close. I could communicate with them much better than my other friends. I cut my contacts with the bad companies that I had. Slowly I was coming out of my dark life or rather say they had pulled me out of it. I felt the light that I lost coming back to me. The morals my father taught once again being a part of my life.
From Khushi it became 'Doll face'. Indeed she was my doll. The cute little doll that I was gifted with who had changed my life.
Part 2
It had been 2 months since our friendship started. Doll face wanted to start a boutique in London as it was one of her dreams. In this 2 months I came to know a lot about Doll face and Neha. Mostly it was about Doll face. About Neha only one description is enough. She is Doll face's shadow. On knowing about Doll face, my admiration and respect increased for her.
But all our happiness came to an end when Doll face met with a severe accident. She had gone to see a site for her boutique. But while returning back she met with the accident. A nun who had seen her admitted her in the hospital.
When we came to know we immediately reached the hospital. Doctor said that she was in critical condition. I was scared. Thousands of negative thoughts were running in my mind. Am I going to loose Doll face also like I lost my parents and foster parents? Am I going to be left alone in the world once again? I was terrified with thought of better left alone once again.
But I was not ready to give up. I had already lost my all loved ones but I was not going to lose my Doll face. I will fight even if I have to fight death then I am ready for it. I thought determined. I looked sideways. I could see Neha's condition no better than mine if not worse. She looked scared on the thought of loosing the only person who she has. Her only family. The only person in this world who was there for her.
I knew what I had to do. More than me it was her who needs consolation, who need assurance. For her, her whole world revolved around her Anu. Anu. That is how she calls Doll face.
Going near her I gave her a side hug. I knew she needed it. Looking at me with a blank look, she clutched on to me as if her life depended on it. Soon, she broke down crying.
"Shh. Shh. Don't cry. Look we have to be strong for her. We have to save her. If you break down like this then how will we save her. Do you think she'll be happy seeing you like this. She will scold me for letting you cry. Now stop crying and relax. She will be fine. We will make her fine. OK.".
Hearing my words, she calmed down a bit. Wiping her tears, she said determined, " Yes Jules. We will make her fine. She can't leave us. She has promised me to always stay with me."
By the time doctor came out. Reaching near him, we asked about her condition. He replied that she was still serious and that they had to do operation for saving her and they need her family's consent for doing operation.
I immediately tried contacting her parents but they weren't responding. Even after trying for several times nothing worked. Like this two days passed. Doll face's condition was deteriorating with each passing minute.
Finally, even after two days when we couldn't contact them, Neha asked me to quit trying as nothing is going to happen. She revealed to me about the bitter truth of Doll face's life. How her family treat her. What and all happened in her life. Knowing everything I felt anger surging through my veins. I wanted to go and knock some sense into heads of her family members.
But I couldn't give up now. I had to save my Doll face. I did everything in my will power to convince the hospital authorities to do her operation. But they didn't budge.
Then finally I had to go in the crooked way. I made fake documents stating that I am Doll face's legal guardian. All thanks to my earlier bad companies. Then I signed up for her operation as her legal guardian.( I was 20 at that time.)
The operation was successful. She was safe. But the doctors kept her under observation for another two weeks. After discharge, it took another one month for her to recover completely.
After recovering she insisted to meet the nun who had saved her life. So we decided to visit Mother Mary (the nun). But we never knew that this one journey was going to change our life.
On reaching there we came to know that Mother Mary was running a destitute home for abused women. But their financial conditions were not good. There were totally some thirty inmates in that home. They used to stitch clothes and sell it. But the income was not enough for their needs.
They were staying in an old rented house. Due to financial crisis they were not able to pay the rent. So they were asked to move out of that place. Knowing all these Doll face became upset. Even after coming back after thanking Mother Mary for her help, she continued to think about the people of the home.
Finally after two weeks she came up with a plan. Next day we three (Khushi, Julian and Neha) went to the destitute home with an offer. Doll face asked them to stitch clothes for the boutique she was going to start. In turn she will teach them new skills of designing and stitching and will also help them monetarily. They agreed.
Doll face first rented a better house for their stay and named it Aashiyaana. She helped them shift and also provided all necessary things. Then she started teaching them work. Very soon she started her own boutique 'AS designs' in one of the best areas of London.
The most amazing thing in all these was she did all these with her own money. The money she got from her scholarships, while working and also by winning various competitions. I also came to know that she paid my debts from her own money. She never used any money from her family. Not that they never gave. In fact her father used to deposit lacks in her account every month. But she always used her own earned money for her needs and also provided for Neha's needs who she considered her sister also her responsibility.
I felt proud of my sister like Doll face. With every minute my respect for her was increasing. I felt proud that I am a part of such an amazing girl's life. When she offered me a job in AS Designs. I immediately took it up. Anything that I could do for her, I was in for it.
Thus together we worked in AS Designs and aashiyaana and took it to the present level. They journey wasn't easy but we overcame every obstacles.
It has been five years since I met Doll face. But I couldn't still believe it. My life has changed so much in this five years. Before five years I was a careless, rude, arrogant, insensitive teenager who was drowned in alcohol, drugs, gambling etc. A complete spoilt brat living in darkness.
But today I am a changed man. A make-up artist working in one of the top most companies in the world. I have a family, my sisters Khushi and Neha, three cute Nephews, Beejibaa in mother's place and a very big family in Aashiyaana. I have everything a man wanted.
The scars of the past are still there but it doesn't affect me much now. I still have problems while making new relations. I still don't believe in God, love and marriage but it all are not a part of my life anymore. I have my family with me. Now that is all that matters for me now.
Julian's POV ends.
Hai, I hope you all remember me and my story. I know I am terribly late with the update. I am really really really sorry. My exams are going on and one more exam is left that is on 6th. Till then no more updates. I will start updating from 8th. Till then pls bear with me.
Coming to the chapter, this chapter is specially dedicated to all the people who had loved my character Julian. I have seen many people liking his character. Julian is a complete loyal friend and brother to Khushi. Her loves her and is very much possessive and protective of her. He can do anything for her.
Please comment. I know I don't reply for them but trust me I read and everyone of your comments. If any questions you can ask me. I will answer them in the coming chapters. In the coming chapters the story is gearing for its major twist. After a short break I will update. Till then pls pray for me.
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