Longest hours-Armaan Riddhima OS - Page 13

I sat straight up in the bed, the clock shows mid night, ""Just a bad dream, Araav Malik"" I reminded myself, ""I was being chased"" I tried to remember my nightmare ""But chased by whom? Chased by what?"" I don't remember anything except that I was chased, my heartbeats were still fast.
I glanced around the shadowy room, waiting for my heartbeat to return back to normal. The room was awfully silent, just the way I like before my sleep. But tonight was different, the silence was suffocating. The only sound I could hear was of my breath and the tick-tock of the clock. The room felt hot and stuffy even though the A/C was in the right temperature. Dad always take care of that, he double check the A/C temperature, silence around, darkness everywhere even in the hall. He makes everything perfect just the way I like, he still treats me as a kid and no matter how many times I have to remind him that I am 14 now, he never agrees to the fact that I am no more a small baby. I wonder if he can ever believe that I am mature enough to take care of my own.
The atmosphere gets hotter and although now I am wide awake, the nightmare wasn't completely fade away. There was still uneasiness, an unexplainable uncomfortable feeling that I was having. The back of my neck felt hot and prickly. I realized I was sweating. I climed out of my bed, Slowly standing on my legs, I drag myself to the washroom. Darkness all around me, I searched for the switchboard, switching on the night bulb. I washed my face, to get rid of all the numbness, the little frightened I was in. ""Maybe a little walk would help"" I suggested myself out loud.

Walking out of my room, I slowly walked and tried my best to open the door of the house without any noise. This is not the first time, I was sneaking out of the house. I usually have nightmares and weird dreams, most of them I can't even remember. Slowly walking out to the yard I closed the door behind me.
It has rained all day, the grass glistened wetly, and the ground beneath my slippers were soft and marshy. ""I should have changed into sneakers"" I thought. The pale Cresent moon rose above wisps of black clouds. The night air felt tingly and wet yet it was beautiful, my slippers were completely in mud, I could feel the mashy soil on my foot. How will I explain mom and dad about the mess I will be making. The worst thing about this city are the unexpected rains, it never gives me time to prepare myself from hiding my trails.
Mumbai is a beautiful city, all relatives, friends, people of our culture are here yet I miss California badly. My friends there might be from different region and culture yet, they were able to understand me, understand my problem.
When Mom and Dad learned about my disorder, they freaked out especially dad, he wasn't ready to accept that I am a ""SPECIAL"" child, that I need some special efforts, some special care, some special treatment. I remembered him punching my principal in his nose when he broke the news. It was hilarious, I couldn't stopped myself from laughing. But my smile fade away when I suddenly remembered the time when dad had tears in his eyes, when he was apologizing the principal for his actions. My parent's fights over me, there argument regarding our shift to this country, our financial crisis everything is still fresh in my mind, as if none of this is past event, as if everything is happening now, right in front of my eyes. A lonely tears roll down to my cheek, I realized I was crying, crying over my condition, crying over all the pain I have caused to my parents. I forcefully walked towards the bench,
My mind was filled with the memories, thoughts, moments when everything was fine. Mom and dad were so happy, I was happy. Ryan, James, Joy were my best friends. They used understand me. I wonder how they are now? How is everything back in Flyhigh school? How is everything back in California? Dad's business, mom's social wellfare group. Our neighbors, I started missing everything. A year before, just a year before everything was so much better. Mom and dad never used to argue in fact my friends used to called me ""happy family boy"". Uncle Josh and Aunt Sarah used to pick me on every Saturday night because My parents needed some ""moments"" together.
Dad business was at the best, we used to travel around the world for vacations. But dad had to sold everything to his rivals and we had to move her in Mumbai, so that I could get better attention and proper care with all the relatives and family around.
I sat there on the bench for a hour or so, reliving every moment I had spent in California when I felt a hand on my shoulder, I knew who else could be up this late ""Dad"" the word escape through my mouth
""Another nightmare?"" He had some concern in his voice. I nodded simply and look to him, he was in his pajamas, examining me through his blue eyes, his hair was at the mess. A weak smile form on my face.
""Just a nightmare"" I tried to explain. ""You know you are always welcome to sleep with us, Riddhima and I won't really mind"" Dad said, he still had concern in his voice and his eyes were still on me. ""I am 14 dad, I don't sleep with my parents"" I told him, lowering my gaze. ""Nobody has to know you slept with us."" he was still trying to convince me. ""Dad please"" I begged him to stop.
""But Araav, you can...""
""Dad"" I protested, I don't want him to treat me like a kid anymore, I am a grown up and grown ups don't sleep with there parents.
There was silence after that, we sat there for long until Dad offers for a walk. ""So what were you thinking about?"" Dad questioned me
""Nothing"" I lied but dad was too stubborn to know my thoughts
""Just the old stuff...California, Ryan Joy, My school"" I said, my eyes were on the wet ground. The soil kept irritating me.
"" you miss California ?"" I didn't answer to that, it was too obvious
""Are you angry with us? For the decision we made"" Dad question made me feel bad for telling him the truth, the guilt in his eyes was killing me. Everyone is already in tension because of my ADHD problem and now I am giving them another problem ""No dad, nothing like that, I am happy here, my family my culture...everything is so perfect. It just that I was thinking about my life there that doesn't mean I am happy here"" I lied to him
""You don't have to hid anything from me, I can see that you are not able to adjust here. I am currently working on a new project, if I succeed then we can fly to California"" Dad said, I could sense the pain in his voice. The pain I am causing them. ""I am sorry Dad, I didn't mean to hurt you"" I apologies
""You aren't hurting me. It just a bad phase. I will try to fix everything. I just need more time"" Dad hold my hand while speaking.
Silence again. We kept walking until dad decided to go back to the bench.
""Riddhima and I decided to move to California when we learn about her pregnancy. Nobody here was ready to accept high school students as a parent. Dr. Shashank was ready to chop me into tiny pieces. Dad was against me and Riddhima. Only one person was supporting us, Mom"" Dad suddenly started to speak about his past. I wasn't expecting that. He was telling me everything like I am a big boy, I liked that. I patiently sat with him waiting him to continue.
""We decided to talk to mom about it. We never want to abort you. Mom arrange all the visa and our schooling and all the other formalities. I married Riddhima before leaving the country."" He continue.
""You never graduated from high school"" I couldn't help myself but remind him. I thought he didn't got the admission after leaving this city.
""I did completed my 11th. But then we were out of money. I can't rely on my mom forever. You know Araav, when mom and dad were divorced and Mom chooses to left me behind and go back to her place, her people...I was disappointed, I always thought that she doesn't value our relation because that's what American culture is. Dad always told me Mom left us because she wasn't able to take all the responsibility she had. It hurts to be rejected."" A saw tears in his eyes, I had never seen him crying before. ""But when Riddhima contact her and decided to tell her our problem, I wasn't every happy to accept her offer but I didn't wanted to lose you or your mother. I choose my family over my ego. And then her money, her favors on us...it was pathetic. And then you came to our life, I didn't want you to live a compromised life. So I had to drop out and start a business. Josh lend me some money and allowed me to work in his father's factory. His father was a shoe manufacturer and that how I get interest in shoe designing"" his tears were dried by the time he completed narrating.
""Can I asked you a question?"" I hesitated a bit
""Go ahead"" I gave me the permission
""Don't you feel bad about selling your dream and moving here to the people who disowned you?""
I saw a smile on his face
""There is nothing to me that is more important then you. I know I am not able to provide you the lifestyle we had there. But I promised after this project everything will be fine.""
I hate when dad talk like that, he always blames himself for every problem we're facing. I know the reason behind everything is me ,my disorder my inability, yet he never accept that and always feels guilty for something he isn't responsible for.
""Dad"" I said, "" I am already living the best life,better then anyone here. I have everything I need, and to be honest I don't want you to work day and night, 7 days a week to give us everything. We already have enough"" I know I sound like an adult but I want him to know that everything we have is perfect. Mom and I never have to compromise in anything. He is already giving us all that he could including his time, he never complains about being tried. from last 10 years he takes us to a mini vacation every year even is it results in extra work hours for him. He always tried to give us everything forgetting about his wellbeing. ""I never realized that you grown so much"" he said in a surprising tone ""you know, you talk just like your mother."" He continue smile on his face. I smiled back. There was silence for another couple of minutes until Dad spoke again ""your mom thinks that we should have another child"" I smiled hearing that information. ""I need to know your opinion. Will you feel left out or uncomfortable if we had another baby""
""No dad, I will glad to have a brother or sister."" I replied honestly
""Another thing, I think Riddhima and I had lots of arguments and fight before moving here, you know I wasn't supporting this decision. I never wanted to come back to these people but she assured me that everyone is ready to accept and...I was thinking if I and her...we could go to a small vacation to a hill station like shimla or somewhere. Would you mind?"" He had a nervousness in his voice, like he is asking permission to his father
""Of course not"" I said to him ""I will stay at Anjali massi's house or Rahul uncle's place. Where ever you want me to"" He smiled again taking me into a hug.
""Armaan"" I heard mom calling. ""Coming sweetheart"" he replied to her, we saw her standing on the door, barefoot.
Slowly waking towards her I realized the love my parents have for. I realize that my problem wasn't even a problem for them. Of course they were worried about me but they weren't exactly effected by the fact that I might not be a very normal child