Posted:
Left Me Alone...
Three years. It has been 3 years she left me. She went away... far away from me leaving me alone again. I'm really missing her. He is my life. But I don't know why I'm still alive when she is not beside me? I should have died the moment she left me but I'm still alive without the happiness. Maybe that's the punishment she thinks I deserve for hurting her "always" even when she wasn't at fault. But this punishment is really too cruel to bear. I prefer to die over living this useless life without her beside me. I still remember the day of our re-marriage.
The day I started to hate her again, torture her again, hurt her again. The wedding board outside the hall elegantly displayed "ARNAV WEDS KHUSHI". We were so happy to start a new life again with each-other. But everything changed when Dadi came and told me that Garima aunty was the lady who was having affair with my so called dad. I was heart-broken. My mom killing herself, my dad following her, di's broken marriage, everything ran in front of my eyes like a film. I was blinded by anger. Khushi was waiting for me at the mandap still having the trust on her love. I reached the mandap but not to marry Khushi. Instead I was shocked when I saw that everyone knew the truth & they trusted aunty and also forgave her. I broke the marriage and also called her names. My dadi was encouraging me and I, the biggest fool, got encouraged and said bad about garima aunty too. That was the nail in the coffin. She bore everything I told her but she wasn't able to stand when I spoke against her masi. I called her same as her masi. Indeed she was like her masi. They both were innocent. I went off in anger and none of my family members supported me or talked to me. Her soul left her body. She was a lifeless person with only body left and no soul. I was determined to make Khushi's life hell. Still, I was blinded by anger.
After some days, she began to search for a job but under my influence none offered her a helping hand. & according to my wish, having left with no choice she joined AR Designs again. I gave her a post of my PA not out of pity but bcoz I wanted to hurt her and break her such that she will be unable to join the pieces even she tries.
From the day, she joined the company, I made sure she experiences a living hell. I left no stone unturned in torturing her both physically and mentally but she didn't budge. After all, she is my brave tigress. I made her heart cry by my hurtful words, tortured her, made her work till late hours like a slave and gave her so much work that she often skipped her meals to complete the assigned work. I was no more affected by her cries as that time I was completely under my anger's influence. Yet after all these tortures, I was able to see the love she held for me in her hazel eyes. I hurt her thinking somewhere I knew let anything happen, Khushi will never leave me. But in all this, I failed to see the pain in her eyes that she successfully hid behind her love and care.
One day, we both left for Mumbai for a meeting. The trip was for 4 days and on the last day, the delegates had arranged a party. Khushi was looking stunningly beautiful. I lost my control and we both ended up consummating. Next day was a bit awkward for us but we managed and left back for Delhi. On the very next day, our company lost a mere deal bcoz Khushi made a small mistake. I ended up yelling at her and also crossed my limits when I told her that consummating was only a mistake I unknowingly made and then I was regretting it. Khushi was hurt beyond limit. She took half day leave and went home. When my anger subsided I thought to apologize to her the next day she comes. But she never turned up. On enquiring, I came to know that she suicide by cutting her left wrist. She had left two letters, one for her family and the other for me. My letter contained only 12 words but till today when I read those 12 words, guilt overtakes me. The letter said
"I have always loved u Arnavji and will do it for eternity".
Many a times, I think how can a girl like Khushi ever fall in love with me, a monster who crushed all her dreams. The answer is known only to Khushi. I killed my Khushi. I'm responsible that she isn't alive today. If only I would have controlled my anger she would have been in my arms beside me. I always won in all tests but I miserably failed in the test of Trust and Love. "I, ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA, is the biggest failure in the whole wide world. I always loved u Khushi and will always do.".
Mama if u won't have MU her, she would have forgiven u???'.
Of course. U know she is such a sweetheart. She can even forgive the person who tries to kill her.'.
U miss her???' It was more a statement than a question
. No... I don't...'.
Y??? U love her still??'.
She told that we must miss those people who r far away from u but ur mami... she resides in my heart... Now go and sleep or else mumma will scold u...'.
Bye mama... Good ni8 mami...'.
. Bye Aashi.'.She went away
Did u see her Khushi??? She is Aashi. Di adopted her after Shyam's fiasco. She is now 12... She always reminds me of u... Pls try to forgive me Khushi... I'm really sorry.. I really am sorry...' Arnav broke down completely and tears made their way down his eyes as he again started to talk with his Khushi looking at the brightest star in the sky
Arnav's life has become a hollow drum which gives only muffled sounds... Because of his anger, he lost the reason to live forever...
I hope you like the OS...
Love,
Shreya
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