PART - 21
Next morning.
Randhir was sitting on the floor resting his back on the bed behind him. The night was the longest night for him. He didn't sleep for a single second. He was just recalling what ever he did last night. His eyes were filled with tears.. They were red.. They were swollen. He had his engagement ring in his palm which he was staring at. The whole room was a complete mess. Bedsheet was lying on the floor.. Curtains were down half hanging on the rod... Almost everything was lying on the floor broken.
On the other hand, sanyukta was sitting motionless on the floor resting her head on the bed. Her eyes were open but there wasn't a tinge of moisture in them. She had decided that she wont cry anymore. But still she was dead from inside. Her world was just broken into thousand pieces . She was not able to assemble them. The person whom she loved the most had jerked her away from his life. Last two and a half months had been very difficult for her. She had died thousand deaths during then.
The whole house was quiet and surrounded by some sort of weird silence.. A silence which could kill anyone.
After a few minutes.
Shinu woke up and started crying. Her cries broke the silence and brought sandhir out of their thoughts. Sanyukta got up and came out of the room leaving shinu crying there. She went to the kitchen to fetch milk for her. Randhir too got up and looked around at the mess created by him. Then he realised that shinu was continuously crying. He thought that something was really wrong. Then he thought that sanyukta might have done something to her. His heart was thumping fast. He walked straight to her room. In the mid way he saw sanyukta in the kitchen. He sighed in relief. Then he went inside the room and picked up shinu. She immediately became quiet. Their eyes met. And shinu passed a smile. He smiled back. His eyes immediately became moist. Every time he sees her .. He finds her even more beautiful.
Shinu: Aaa ( she made weird sounds as if she was trying to talk to him)
Randhir kept on smiling. Then he held her between in his right elbow and freed his left hand. He kept his left thump on her chin.. Then caressed her soft white cheeks. Then he held her tiny fist and she immediately held his finger between her small fist. He giggled a little.
He was engrossed with shinu just then sanyukta entered inside. She saw him standing there with shinu. Their eyes met. Her face was expressionless and Randhir was looking at her in surprise. She walked upto him and pulled shinu from his hand which obviously didn't like by him. He gritted his teeth again. She kept her on the bed and put the bottle nipple into her mouth. He was just looking at her. Her silence was killing him. He wanted to talk to her now. She had never been so quiet whenever they had a huge fight before. But she was all calm and composed , not even crying unlike before. She sat next to shinu and held her bottle. She was just looking at her completely ignoring his presence around her. He wanted to fight with her more .. Yell at her more .. But she wasn't even looking at him. He was getting irritated with each passing second. He picked up a flower pot lying on the side table and smashed the same on the floor. To grab her attention but she remained indifferent. Randhir was hell irritated by now. He grabbed her wrist her pulled her towards himself. She looked up at him with no expression on her face . Then he realised that she had fever. His expression immediately changed from anger to concern. He bent down to touch her forehead but she turned her face again to shinu as if rejecting his touch. He left her hand with a jerk and
Randhir: Where is the first aid box?
She still kept quiet.
Randhir: Damn it! I am asking something.
Again no response.
He decided not to speak anything further to her and just find everything by himself. He turned around and stepped outside the room.. He took 10 steps further and heard the door was getting closed behind him. He turned around and saw sanyukta closing the door of her room. He went there back n tap the door and realised that it was locked from inside. He gritted in frustration again. He went to his room. He tried finding the first aid kit but in vain. After wasting his 10 minutes, he decided that he would buy the medicine and thermometer himself. He took his car keys and drove off to chemist. He bought both the things and came back home. He went straight to her room and bang the door hard.. But as he banged the door, it opened and no one was inside. He panicked. He recalled his harsh words which he had spoken to her. He looked around and searched her in every corner of the house.she was no where. Then he checked her cupboard and sighed in relief as all her things were there. Then he dialled her no. But it came not reachable. Then he dialled parth's no. Who was unresponsive. He was hell irritated by now.
Hours rolled and The clock struck at 5.. But there was no sign of her. He tried contacting her thousands of times but in vain. After a few minutes, she stepped in with shinu. She was walking in slowly. Randhir saw her entering in from his couch. He got up furiously and marched upto her. She was looking down and stopped at her place when he blocked her way. She looked up at him.. Her face was still expressionless but it was pale.
Randhir: Where the hell were you? ( he yelled)
Sanyukta: ...
Randhir: Bolo .. Kaha thi tum subha se? You didn't even inform me on the top of that, you switched off your bloody phone.
Sanyukta:... ( she started heading towards her room but he caught her elbow and pulled her towards him again)
Randhir: ( showing his index finger) don't test my patience sanyukta.. Just don't. Tell me where the hell were you?
Sanyukta: I went to search a new house for me and shinu. ( she spoke with no emotions on her face)
He lost his grip on her elbow and froze. He was looking at her numb as if someone gave him a shock. He had never imagined that she would take his words so literally. He gulped and was trying to compose himself. But before he could do anything She turned around then and came to her room again.
****************************
Next morning.
It was 4 in the morning. Randhir was still awake. He couldn't sleep at all since then. His heart was thumping hard inside his chest since then. He was lying on his stomach on his bed. Just then alarm buzzed and he picked up his mobile to shut the alarm off. He then saw the date today. His eye grew wider looking at the date. It was sanyukta's birthday. The day for which she used to wait for months before. How they used to celebrate the day? How he used to send her gifts at every hour? Everything flashed infront of his eyes. His chain of thoughts were broken by the sudden sound of utensils from the kitchen. He quickly got up and went to the kitchen and saw her heating milk for shinu. She was still emotionless.. No excitement .. No enthusiasm.. Which she used to have before. His eyes became moist looking at her condition. He wanted to wish her but he had no courage. He turned around and came back to his room.
*******************
Hours rolled.
Sanyukta inside her room was busy packing her and shinu's stuff.. She put the lid on of the first suitcase and slide it down the bed.. Just then she heard a knock at her door. She got up and opened the door and found him standing there. He brought all his courage and
Randhir:happy birthday sanyukta. ( he gave a pretentious smile. He was awkward from inside)
Sanyukta: Thanks you.
Her expressionless face was killing him into bits and pieces. She was just looking into his eyes.
Randhir: You don't want any gift? ( he asked)
Sanyukta shook her head in a no.
He felt weird. She had changed. She was never like this.
He nodded and was about to turn around but
Sanyukta: Can you give me one thing? ( she asked softly)
He made a weird face. Somewhere he was scared of what she might ask from him? Something which he couldn't give to her.
Sanyukta knew what he must b thinking then.
Sanyukta: Don't worry I wont ask for anything which you cant give to me.
Randhir: Its not like that. Bolo kya chahiye?
Sanyukta: Just one day with me only if you can. I wont ask for anything after then. ( she smiled )
He felt a lump in his throat. He wanted to hug her then. She was taking permission to spend a day with him. She was craving for his presence for so long.
Randhir: Ok.. But where do you wanna go?
Sanyukta: I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to spend a usual day with you like before. One last time. ( she smiled again) and I wont trouble you much. ( she added)
Randhir: Ok... I will take an off for today from my office.
Sanyukta:thank you and sorry.
she was speaking in her softest tone. He just nodded and..
Sanyukta: Can I make breakfast for you?
Randhir: Its your birthday.. I should make something for you.. Why not order all your favourite dishes from your favourite restaurant?
Sanyukta: Nahi nahi. I just wanted to spend this day like a normal day. Nothing lavish. I want to cook something for you.
Randhir: ( his face again fall looking at her plight and innocence) hmmm...
Sanyukta: Thank you.
She came inside the kitchen and pulled out gram flour and soaked it water and curd. She added a few spices into it and chopped onions and potatoes into it. She made basan pakodaas , masala tea and upma for him. His favorite breakfast.she placed everything on the dining table and went to his room where he was getting ready after bathing.
Sanyukta: Breakfast is ready Randhir. You can have it now.
He just passed and smile and nodded his head in a yes.
He came out of the room with her and saw the dining table. He was somewhere happy to see the breakfast. It was like before and then he was somewhere sad too.
Sanyukta brought shinu's cradle out and placed it near her chair. They both had the breakfast in silence. Randhir was stealing glances of her while eating. She was busy eating silently. Didn't even look at him for once. This silence was unusual for him. She had never been so quiet while eating. Many a times , he had to yell at her to shut her mouth but today he was dying to listen to a word out of mouth.
Sanyukta: Was it ok?
(she finally broke the silence)
Randhir: It was nice. ( he smiled)
Randhir: So what's next?
Sanyukta: Its 10 now. I will first make her bathe .. Then I will cook lunch.
Randhir: Ok.. You do your stuff.. Till then I complete my pending works.
They both exchanged smiles and indulged themselves in their works.
Hours rolled.
After having the lunch..
Sanyukta: Lets watch a movie together like before.
Randhir: Which one?
Sanyukta: P.S. I LOVE YOU. (she smiled)
He smiled back. He knew it was her favorite movie.
He switched on the home theatre and they both sat on the couch in front of the screen. The movie began. Sanyukta's eyes were stuck at the screen and his eyes on her. Everytime she watches this movie she used to cry all the time but today there was not even a tinge of moisture in her eyes. She was gawking at the screen with no emotions on her face. She was indeed supressing her emotions. He was worried for her. She was not letting her emotions out of her heart which was reason for worry. After around 25 minutes , she rested her head on his shoulders. He too wrapped his arm around her and soon she dozed off. After some time , he realised that she had slept. He looked at her and pushed her locks carefully behind her ear. After around half an hour, she opened her eyes and realised that she slept on his shoulders. She looked up at him and then detached herself from him. He smiled at her but she remained expressionless.
**********************
Hours rolled on.
Sanyukta was in the kitchen putting all the dirty utensils in the basin after dinner. Whereas he was in his room. She went to his room after finishing her work.
Sanyukta: Randhir!!
Randhir: Hmmm...
Sanyukta: Thank you! ( she smiled)
Randhir: Its ok.. I have something more for you..
She frowned .
He pulled out a golden box from his cupboard and forwarded it infront of her. She looked at it frowning more.
Randhir: See.
She shook her head in a no looking at him.
Randhir: Its for you sanyukta. Take it..
Sanyukta: Nahin..
Randhir: Aree!! Atleast dekho toh.
Sanyukta: I don't want any gift Randhir. NO GIFTS. You were with me for the whole day that was the only thing I wanted and you gave me. That's it.
She stepped back and came out of the room leaving him sulking in his own guilt.. Leaving him feeling rejected..
**********************
It was 1:00 am.
He was twisting in his bed but was not able to sleep. Her words were echoing in his ears. He was not able to decide what should he do now? .. He was lost in his thoughts just then he heard a knock on his door. He scowled and went upto the door and opened it. He saw sanyukta standing infront of him.
Randhir: What happened? ( he asked in his softest tone)
Sanyukta: Randhir! Can I sleep here? One last time. I am feeling scared alone in that room. Also I have not slept well for so many nights. Plz. I swear I wont ask for anything else after that. ( she pleaded).
Randhir: Its ok. You can come here.
Sanyukta: Thank you so much. Let me take shinu too here.
She started stepping back to get shinu here but stopped.
Sanyukta: But how will you sleep?
Randhir just gave her questioning scowl.
SanyukTa: I mean, shinu wakes up many a times in the nights for milk. You sleep would get disturbed. I am sorry , I didn't realise.
He choked at listening to her. Shinu was his daughter after all. He cant be so insensitive with her.
Randhir: Sanyukta! Get her here. I don't have a problem actually.
Sanyukta: ( her face lightened up) thank you! ( she spoke softly.)
She brought shinu's cradle to his room and placed it near his bed. They both laid down on the bed. It was all silence amongst them. She then kept her head on his chest and wrapped her arm around his stomach. She closed her eyes, a lone tear escaped out of her eye. He too had wrapped his arm around her. His eyes too brimmed up with tears. They were both crying inside their hearts. He brought his free hand and shifted her locks behind her ear, just then he felt some moisture on his finger tips. He then realised she was crying. He lifted himself up a little and twisted due to which he came over her. She opened her eyes and looked at into his eyes directly. She couldn't hold anymore. Tears made their way. He gulped. Tears escaped out from his eyes too. He bent down and kissed her eyes , then her forehead and lastly her lips. He was kissing her softly, sucking all her pains, soothing her, showing his concerns for her. He broke the kiss and immediately she hugged him tightly. It was the last night for them. Their last moments together. They just wanted each other in that moment. A husband needs his wife, a wife needs her husband. This was the last time they were sleeping in each other's embrace. This was the last time they were making love. The moment was pure and full of love.
******************
Next morning.
She woke up later than randhir. She looked around and realised that he wasn't there. She then looked at the watch , it showed 9:00 am. Then she realised that Randhir had already left. She got up and covered herself with the quilt. She then saw shinu and found her sleeping. She smiled and wore her clothes And came to her room with shinu.
*******************************
It was 8:00AM.
He parked his car in the parking area of his apartment. He was already feeling weird from inside. His mind was wandering around the last night's incident. Whatever happened last night with sanyukta was not right indeed. He was fighting with himself , scolding himself " why he lost himself? " after so many efforts he could make her away from him but last night's incident would surely give sanyukta some false hopes. She would again going to be cling on him. He made his way towards the stairs and with each passing stair he was just getting the flashes of time which he had spent with her during their 3 years of marriage. He finally reached to his flat and opened the door. He looked around and found the whole house was changed. It was almost like before sanyukta had shifted with him. He then saw sanyukta coming out of her room with two big strollers and she kept them near the door. She then looked up at him and passed a smile. She then brought shinu in her cradle out of the room. He walked upto her and
Randhir : Ye sab kya hai? ( he scowled)
Sanyukta: We are going Randhir. ( she again smiled)
His eyes became wider than ever. He was frowning and his heartbeat was running very fast. He had never expected this . He thought that she would never leave him.
SanyuktA: Did you notice? Okay look around. Your house is just like before, before I came here. Actually , I tried making it like before. Removing all my traces. I hope I succeeded. ( she made a puppy face. She was trying to be vivacious in front of him like she used to be before hiding all her grief inside her heart. But he could see the sadness in her eyes)
Randhir: Why are you doing this? I wasn't serious.
Sanyukta: This day has to come one day. I know you never needed me.. Never wanted me.. Then I have no right to be here. Randhir ! I don't know what was my mistake , I did that all for your good then but then I lost myself . May be, I should have controlled myself. But honestly Randhir I never wanted to hurt you, always wanted your good. But I am very sorry that I took so long to realise what you actually feel for me. I hope you understand my state of mind then. I gave birth to you daughter and you left us both so abruptly. I was shocked , almost in trauma. I was just convincing myself that one day you will be back, giving myself false hopes. You are understanding na what I am trying to speak?
He remained still.
Sanyukta(continued) : Randhir! I have always claimed so loudly that I love you but now I have realised that may be I have never loved you. Becoz this isn't love, I mean I snatched all your happiness from you , I guess lovers don't do that, may be I became selfish, you feel the same for me. But yeah may be its true. ( she giggled)
Randhir: Don't say this for god's sake.( a tear escaped from his eyes)
Sanyukta: Okay okay! I will not. But why are you so sad? You should be happy that I am leaving. The biggest burden on you head is going out of your life now. Now there will be no one to fight with you , irritate you, embarrass you in front of your frnds , of course. You you don't have to listen to my pathetic voice, only happiness. ( she sighed)
Randhir: Listen! We can sit and talk about it. Don't take decision like this.
SanyuktA: Randhir! Your three days limit is now expired. I think its a high time now that I should leave. I am not that shameless as you think I am. I can't take those insults anymore. And kya fayda hoga f I stay here more. You will be the same. You hate us like anything. And honestly Randhir , I can tolerate that hatred but shinu wont be able to take it. For her sake , I think I should move out. Also , I have not taken anything which you have given to me and shinu during this marriage, no gifts, nothing. Everything is lying in that guest room where I used to live. So you check the stuff and let me know if something is missing. Also I don't want any alimony. And one thing I want to tell you Randhir , that I was never after your money.( she became serious)
He felt a pinch in his heart. He was feeling like someone was detaching the most important organ from his body. His family, his wife, his daughter were leaving him. His house was getting destroyed. But he cant stop all this. The damage had already been made.
Randhir: Pleaseee!! You don't have to do this. ( he pleaded)
Sanyukta: Let me go Randhir.
She cupped his face and
Sanyukta: Just stay happy Randhir. Just be happy. ( this time she couldn't hold her tears. And they escaped out of her eyes too)
Randhir: Matt jaao please.
Sanyukta: Don't make me weak now Randhir. I have made up my mind.
Randhir: I know you cant live without me. Where will you go?
Sanyukta: And you don't me Randhir. I will go back to my maa's house now.
Randhir: You told them everything?
Sanyukta: Not yet , I will tell them and don't worry, no one will say anything to you. ( she assured)
Randhir: ( grabbing her hand) promise me, whenever you want anything , you will call me no matter what.
Sanyukta: I cant do that Randhir. and your girlfriend wont like it. She cant stand me you know. Usko Bataya to nahi tumne that we did hanky panky last night? ( she giggled again)
He looked at her in surprise.
Sanyukta: Oh god! Randhir, chill okay, I am not taking that seriously, Dar Gaye the na tum Ki firse tumse chipak jaungee? Dekho tumhari shakal , kese hosh ude huye hai. Don't worry I won't tell her anything about last night.
Randhir: Tum vohi sanyukta Ho na jo chhoti chhoti baato pe roti thi?
Sanyukta: Nopes! ( she giggled again and he pulled her into a hug. They both burst out crying)
Randhir: I am really sorry sanyukta. I never wanted this to happen. Never.
Sanyukta: Me too Randhir. But you have other priorities in your life . You have a girlfriend now. Whom you love the most, who loves you the most. Just be happy with her. Give her much more time. Tum busy rehte Ho kam me, I have tolerated that , don't make her go through the same, jada gussa nahin karna.. Handle her with love and don't scold her. Take care of your health, eat healthy and sleep well. ( she buried her face into the crook of his neck, she sobbed).
He was crushing her towards her more and more,no letting her go. She broke the hug and kissed his cheek. She kept her lips there on his cheek for around ten seconds. All this while their eyes were closed. Then she parted and wiped her saliva on his cheek with her palm.
Sanyukta: Time to go randhir.
Randhir: How are you going?
Sanyukta: By taxi. It's downstairs.
Randhir: I will drop you.
Sanyukta: No randhir. Plzz.
Randhir: Buttt..
Sanyukta: Shhh!! You speak a lot.
He stood there numb like a statue.
Sanyukta: Randhirrr!! Shinu se nahin miloge? You hate her so much ? ( her eyes widened)
Randhir: I DON'T HATE HER. TAKE THIS THOUGHT OUT OF UR MIND FOR GOD'S SAKE. ( he screamed and ran upto shinu. He picked her up in hugged her tightly.)
Sanyukta just Smiled.
Randhir: Promise me sanyukta, you will take care of her and will give her the best upbringing. ( he kisses her forehead)
She walked upto them and took shinu from him. He took her strollers and both came out of the apartment. He kept her strollers in the taxi and
Sanyukta: Good bye Randhir. ( she smiled)
He came forward and pecked first shinu's cheek then sanyukta's forehead.
Randhir: Take care and will miss you. ( he whispered during the kiss)
She smiled and
Sanyukta: Same to you. Bye.
She moved back and sat inside the cab. The driver started the car and he drove off. He kept on looking at the car till got totally disappeared of his vision.
Precap: Randhir's life without sanyukta
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