There are times when you know you have to say something.. Anything or rather, everything you feel, but and then, you find yourself going all dumb, and trust me, this is one such times for me...
I cant word out how insanely I'v been stuck to the computer, the entire day, yesterday, even though I knew you said that the update's gonna come as per UK ST, and yet I had been refreshing the pages every now and then...
And when the time came, I was like, I don't know, just got my breath held and waited and waited and it paid so enchantingly that now, I realize, I'd never mind waiting...
The way the entire update started, it was so light Akka.. And trust me, that's where I held my heart.. Coz the lighter it starts, I know, the deeper it gets...
I'v never actually had a soft spot for Payal.. No I aint judging her, its just that, I never felt as attached to her as to the rest of the members.. But now as I read the convo between the sisters, I realized that, damn! I know this girl.. There is a breath of fresh air, mixed with the old antique fragrance.. She stood up with her sister, in her toughest times, walked beside her and what not.. The silly, heartening conversation of NK being such a dim-wit in asking out for her hand, Khushi's twinkling responses.. I loved it Akka.. But you know what I loved the most? The fact that they both treated Arnav as a part of them, even when they knew a lot needs to be done.. And the moment Khushi backed up her husband, stating everything's fine.. I don't know how to word how much I adore her determination, trust and faith, in both her and her better half...
The AdiNav, the child, the adoption, the entire scenario was too intense.. Good intense, I meant... Aman-Anjali-Nani conversation was too good.. Starting off with heart lightening words, it went deep and complicated.. It never struck me until you mentioned it in the update that may be, just may be Anjali was planning to adopt since she came to know about Arnav's childhood.. I honestly thought that way Aman was.. No, I don't hold her guilty or anything like that, but honestly, is was heartening..
And then our very own ArShi... Their little naughty warmed up conversation.. Sigh, my heart flutters at little things as these.. Be it from her texts, his wait, his walk, his watch, her shout, her kiss, his grin, his pagal.. I loved everything of it...
But and then, the first time I really wished you were beside me so that I could hug you is when Arnav halted a few steps later, his mind numbing with the realization that this aint his Khushi.. Is that not everything that is needed to tell how much they were attuned to each other, how much they'v changed and yet how much they are entwined?! You were awesome!
And the entire Khushi's missing epi was like biting my nails and shouting alongside Arnav.. But the way you'v described how the cool ASR kicks in when the world goes haywire was astounding!
Damn his agony! It truly brought tears to my eyes!!! The one particular moment when I truly felt my hair stand up and my heart weigh down was when Arnav sat silently on the road, with his knees curled to his chest, tears behind his eyes, the text that he sent, the way he caressed her photo, as if caressing her, holding her to his heart, whispering, wording out his broken state, his vulnerability as he shed his tears.. How do you manage to do it? No, not this once alone.. I mean, how do you do it to such a precision Akka? Every single time?! Love ya!
And then came the unveiling of Khushi's scars, her deepest secrets, her darkest fears, all out in the open, in glory, in front of her husband... I dint know whom to cry more for.. For the torment Khushi went through and is going through or the hell Arnav has been opened upto and being sucked into?!
Amidst her fears and trauma, all she wanted to do was tell him, assure him that she dint drink even a drop, that she wouldn't let anyone ruin them again... How is a man not to break seeing his woman speak those words?!
The way he stunned as she pushed him, bracing herself against a wall, declaring that life aint worth it anymore, and his terrorizing realization that she's still livin in the same night .. Is her pain or his agony that I need to take in? Both! And both are equally magnified in their intensities, in their own ways...
The dread, her fears, his breaking of heart, the terrifying realizations, the petrifying truths.. Honestly, I have no words.. I don't know how to tell you how much every single word is still fresh in my mind... The way you'v shown the agony, the distress of a victim, the pain, the disdain of a man watching his love going through that hell and the numbing grief that he had been unaware to al of it for 3 complete years while she struggled in the most brutalest (I know, a word like that doesn't exost, but couldn't help it) ways was too too much for my heart to take, but as you said, yes, I agree, this IS needed! And I wouldn't have taken it any other way...
The moments after that held me so tight and so enchanted.. So very realistic and too believing to not let it be affected upon my soul.. You know why your words have this range of impact Akka? Coz they are the closest to reality.. It is as if we see the life of a couple among us, not a fairy tale and that's why you every word creates its own mile stone...
The way he held her, took her to their house.. Yes, I dint miss that their' there... Tended her, watched her, held himself from breaking down, the strained conversation with Anjali, another shocking realization... Its just too much for that man to take in just one day.. She threw up? God how deep had she gone to that pit?! So much that even her subconscious mind wouldn't let her be in a another person's presence?!
But you know what? You'v rocked and nailed the last couple of paras.. He tended her, wiped her, understood her plight, respected her decision, tried not to break, cleaned himself up, changed everything to normal and watched her again...
1: Cupping his face with her hands, he assured that he was her B&W, that she's her posy...
2: The way her sobs began to rack him..
3:His plea of asking her to not cry..
4: The way he held her to him, cried for the both of them, went though her pain, rocked her as his baby...
5: Promised her of making them again..
I promised to not shed even a single tear, until you were ready to wipe it...
Don't love me so much that it only hurts you...
The above two quotes have been justified to every last ounce that it could have been...
All I can say is Magnifico! I just don't know how to tell you how much this FF has come to mean to me.. Love ya immensely, for both shaping this FF and shaping me in the process as well...
Hope I dint bore you..
Waiting for more, and more, and even more...
Love&hugs,
Chaverah.
Edited by Chaverah_TFC - 11 years ago
Itti Si Khushi Sab TV
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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