Box Of Crayons|DISCONTINUED|Note Page:32 - Page 3

Chapter 1: Red Words

Red my memory, Red my despair. Red my nights, Red my bloody pain. What would I become without you, colour of my entrails?-Anne De Gandt.

She stood under the cold transparent liquid that dripped out of the metal pipe above her. How she had gotten through the previous night only she knew. It had taken all her strength from screaming out loud. The man had been like an animal. It was like he had been given a prize that he wasn't willing to share. He wanted it all to himself. The distinct feeling of his lips were still lingering over her body. He had spent the entire night making love to her like she was an ice cream cone that was melting in the sun. It was like there was no stopping him. He had just used her until he had felt satisfied. She shivered under the water as she remembered his hungry eyes boring into hers as he had leaned into kiss her. She had been in this business for the past 10 years and still just the idea of letting a strange man make love to her irked every fiber of her being.

I can't believe I let him touch me! That man was like an animal. He was so *****. And god he was so ******* ugly! I mean he was at least 12 years older then me. I'm so glad I don't have to see him again! If he comes back I'm going to punch the living day lights out of him! ******* *******! And Di? What was she thinking sending him to me? I told her so many times that I don't take older men. But does she listen to me! No! She has to do what she feels. My opinion just doesn't matter. I better talk to her again. I'm not going through another episode like that again.

This was how it always was for Riddhima whenever she had been given an unwanted client. She would end up spending the night with him and then find out in the morning that Myra had sent him. This had been happening for the past few weeks. Riddhima just didn't understand what was going on. Why was Myra Di doing this to her? Hadn't she made herself clear enough? She knew very well what her terms and conditions were, then what was the problem? What ever it is I have to talk to Di again. And so turning the tap off she grabbed the towel hanging off the rod and wrapping herself with it walked out of the shower.

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Oh god! Not again!

Myra rolled her eyes as she watched Riddhima walk into her room. She knew what was coming her way and why. How could she forget? This was a weekly occurrence. Myra would send a client to Riddhima and Riddhima would come to her the next morning and tell her off. She just didn't get what her problem was. What was so wrong in sending her an older man? All the other girls didn't mind. But then again Riddhima was different. Riddhima wasn't like all the other girls. She had her own mind. She knew what was good for her and what wasn't. She didn't need other people telling her what to do. Myra had known Riddhima since she was 14. She had watched her grow up infront of her eyes. She was the little sister that she had never had. Myra had always had a soft corner for Riddhima. She loved her to much to see her hurt and so Myra would do whatever she could to keep Riddhima happy. The poor girl had been through enough already. She didn't want to put her through anymore.

"Di! What The ****!"

"Well Good morning To You To!"

"Cut the crap Di! What part of DON'T SEND ME OLDER MEN! Do you not understand? I told you so many times not to do that! Then why did you send Mr.Sharma to me?"

"Ri Ri I tired. Believe me. I told him you don't take older men but he just wouldn't listen. He was so adamant that he wanted you only. What was I supposed to do?"

"Say NO! Or send him to one of the other girls! It's so simple."

"Well I'm sorry! But I have to abide by what the client wants. It's my job to keep them happy."

"And what about me? Don't I have any say in this? Don't I have a right to decide who I take and who I don't?"

"Yes you have every right to decide who you want and who you don't but in this case Mr.Sharma had the upper hand. I couldn't refuse him. He even paid extra."

"Omg! I can't believe this! You are going to stand there and tell me that just because Mr.Sharma paid you extra that my terms of conditions have no value?"

"Unfortunately yes. And I'm sorry if you don't agree. But that's just the way it is."

Riddhima stared at her Di in disbelieve. She couldn't believe what she was hearing! How could she say that the client had more of a right then her! Had she gone insane?

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. I'm sorry."

"Yeah well you can take your sorry and ***** it! I'm out of here!"

And with that Riddhima stormed out of the room banging the door behind her.

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She stood at the edge of the hill looking out at the night sky as the stars twinkled and the moon glistened an aura of bright light. Her mind was still reeling with what had transpired between her and Myra Di in the morning. Riddhima had spent the entire day trying to keep her anger in control but the more she tried to calm her mind, the more Myra's words echoed in her ears. She still couldn't fathom what she had heard. How could her Di say such a thing to her? Didn't she mean anything to her? Didn't she even care? Myra was aware from the very start that Riddhima didn't entertain older men. She didn't have an interest in them. And so whenever an older client would come to her Riddhima would always say no. Then what the hell was going on now? How could Myra Di treat this issue as if it was a minor thing? What was she trying to do? Riddhima racked her brain trying to find a possible answer but just fell short.

I don't know what you are trying to do Myra Di. But you have hurt me. I thought you of all people would at least understand me. I mean I don't have anyone other then you. You are my only family. And family never hurts their own.

Family. A word she had forgotten existed. She was used to pleasing others and getting money in return. She was used to wearing a fake smile that had now become a habit. She was used to being thrown from one client to another as if she was a ball that was being used to play catch. She was used to being nothing but a bed warmer for strange men. She was used to being a rag doll that had no emotions. She was used to being a woman who had to deal with dirty stares and comments from society telling her that she was nothing but a h*****. That she had no value in this world. She was at the bottom of the chain. But was this all really her fault? What had she done to be pushed into a world where women were sold to the highest bidder? What had she done to be abandoned at a young age after her parents had been taken away? What had she done to deserve strange men touching her in ways that she disapproved of? What had she done to be given a life where she would never find true love? What had she done? Riddhima looked up into the dark navy blue sky and smiled a watery one.

"Thank you! Thank you for giving me such a crappy life! Thank you for taking my parents away from me! Thank you for leaving me in this world with people who don't give a **** about me! Thank you for pushing me into the life of a h*****! Thank you for giving me a life where I will never be able to meet anyone's eye! Thank you for tainting my body with the marks of ********* ***** men! Thank you for giving me a life where I will never be able to feel true love. Thank you so much GOD! THANK YOU!"

A tear rolled down her eye as the pain she had been hiding finally made its way out. It had been awhile since she had let an emotion of any sorts escape her. She was usually hidden behind a tough exterior but today she didn't care. She was going to let the pain out. She was going to cry for herself.

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Closing the door behind her Riddhima walked into her room and lay down on her bed. The day had not only been emotionally draining but she was physically tired. Her body had been drained of any energy that she had left in her. It had been a long time since she had sat by herself and just sat in silence. The wind blowing across her face and the silent chirping of the crickets had done wonders for her. The emotional break down she had been through had been hard but she was glad that she was able to release some of the pain and no one had seen. She had finally gotten the chance to just be herself. She was just plain old Riddhima. She was still angry with her Di but she had decided to let that slide for the time being. She didn't want to make things worse. She had decided to give it some time. Hopefully her Di would come around and things would return back to normal. And she wouldn't have to spend another day like this. She didn't have the energy to deal with another one. And with that Riddhima was about to close her eyes when the sound of her door opening caused her to get up only to see one of the other girls Molly standing at the threshold.

"Myra wants to see you NOW!"

"What? Now? Why?"

"I don't know. She just told me to call you! Now get going! I had to leave one of my clients alone all because of you!"

"Okay. Thanks Molly."

"Yeah yeah! Bye!"

God! What does Di want now? It's 1 am! I want to sleep! I hate you Di! I hate you!

Dragging her already tired body Riddhima climbed out of her bed and walked out of her room to see what Myra Di wanted now.

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She stood rooted to her spot as Myra stood infront of her with pleading eyes. No. She wasn't going to fall for it again. There was absolutely no way. She had already been fooled once. A second time wasn't going to happen.

"No!"

"Pleaseee! Just this last time. After that I will never ever send Mr.Sharma to you again!"

"Di! NO means NO!"

"Urghh! Why are you so difficult? Now what am I supposed to say to him. He's waiting in the other room!"

"You go in there and tell him that Riddhima is not interested! End of story! Goodbye!"

"Riddhima wait!"

God! Why does she always stop me like this? Can't she just leave me alone?

"Now what Di?"

"Look. I'll make you a deal. You do this one last time for me and I swear to god that the next time he comes here I will send him to one of the other girls. And I will never bother you again. So...Deal?"

Riddhima thought over what she had just heard. So her Di was promising her that this would be the last time. And after this, she would never have to deal with Sharma again.

Hmmm. I kind of like the sound of that. I mean I really don't want to agree but heck. If it will stop this nonsense once and for all then...What the hell. At least I won't have to see that gross old man ever again!

"Okay Di. You got a deal. But if he tries anything! I'm going to kick his ***!"

"Fine! But thank you! thank you! I owe you one!"

"Yeah yeah. I better go before the ***** old man goes nuts and all hell breaks loose."

God! This is going to be one disgusting night.

And with that Riddhima walked out of her office and out the door to once again entertain Mr.Sharma.