before posting the part i just want to say that this one is continuation of part 25.. so anyone who has forgotten where i paused months ago, here's the link of last part..😳
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/101577604
Her wriggles was too weak to be convincing! may be it was due to the effect of her recent nervous breakdown or may be it was due to the fact that actually in the deepest corner of her heart she was not at all willing to push him away but actually wanted him to fight against her, ignore her ever so weak pleas nd tighten his grip around her ever so protectively pulling her close to himself as much as possible promising that no matter wat he'll love her till the eternity, he will protect her till his last breathe, he will hold her this preciously till her last day. But isn't her deepest wish is too dark n dangerous! Isn't she challenging her fate all over again at the cost of HIS priceless life! Isn't she being selfish for getting happy days for god knows how long! Indeed she is.. she is probing armaan to fire just for her own benefits. She is encouraging him with her weak wills just for her own selfish desires. No! she can't do it.. he deserves better. he deserves life.. Nd hell.. she's nothing but his death!
Armaan who was still embracing her weak, petite figure tenderly didn't budge at all hearing her rough order. Indeed she voiced her command way too confidently ordering him to get off her but her action was telling a completely opposite story. It seems as if she didn't want wat she actually declared with so much emphasize, in stead she wanted to be pulled nearer tightly nd protectively. Nd at once he follwed his instincts and tightened his grip around her pulling her as close as possible hiding her almost beneath the cover of his torso.
Her breathings hitched. She sucked a lungful of air soundly nd hurriedly. This man knows wat her heart desires. This man knows how to tear off her veil nd peep into her darkest n deepest side with utmost clearance. This man knows how to love someone so honestly nd truthfully. All she wanted that moment was to crush her body against him ever so willingly, pulling him close to closer even if there was a chance nd shower all her hidden, now overpowering love upon him senselessly.. she wanted to let him know how she feels, she wanted to let him know whom she needs, she wanted to let him know wat he means to her already!
Armaan who was expecting a rough push or a yell full of attitude in response relaxed completely wen nothing some sort happened. That means he read her correctly. That means she actually needed HIM! That means somewhere deep inside her heart there are feelings for him! feelings of love, care & need.. Nd the revelation was so overwhelming that at once he nestled his head again in the crook of her neck, inhaling her divine fragrance nd showering sweet soft lovable kisses over her cheek n shoulder blade. This feels so right. So good. So true.
Her toes curled, palms fisted nd she dug her teeth brutally into her lower lip in order to control her desire. He was indeed evoking her long caged feelings.. he was rekindling her long lost love, her desires, her cravings. Plz god! plz hlp me to stay strong. Plz hlp me to push him away. She prayed truthfully shutting her eyes so tight that it pained but nothing was helpful that moment. His hovering body, his warmth, his love, his gentleness.. everything.. every lill gesture of him arousing her to no extent.. nd without her knowledge, her body betrayed her mind. Her fists became untwined nd started snaking across his back so slowly yet too dangerously stealing his breathes away from his lungs. Nd at once he knew if this goes on any further, he will lose his already trembling self control within minutes nd though he will not regret it a bit after a few hours but he knew she'll cage her again leaving no straw to push him away in order to save him nd that is exactly wat he fears. He can't lose her. the thought of being away from her was too suffocating nd nerve numbing for him nd so he knew dat he has to take the necessary steps. he has to stop this. Though his heart was yelling at him again n again to let go nd sail with the flow of the moment, his mind remained focused nd encouraged him to wait until he untangles the knots of her life nd feeling how right his mind is, finally his heart surrendered nd unwillingly he worked onto bring her back to the reality.
With a swift motion, he took a turn bringing riddhima over him this time while balancing her body with his right hand protectively as well as tugging her hair with his left hand ever so gently. Riddhima who was all lost that moment nuzzled into his palm being too satisfied with his caressing.. his heart ached.. it was going to be too torturous to push her away but he has to do this but with utmost perfection. he can't let her realize that he did this intentionally, that it was him who has the upper hand in this game of love n life.. but instead he will make her think dat it was her who managed to handle the situation.. that it was her conscious that helped her to push him away for his good. though it means little deceit to her but he has to do this or else god knows where she will run n lock herself so that he'll be never able to catch a glimpse of her and he can afford all but this. and hence he'll bear some more torture, some more horrible moments of being close yet far away from her. he knew in both ways he's the one at loss but still he has to be the sensible one. no one but he can bring old riddhima back. he has already seen her tremble with her fake attitude, alrdy seen her vulnerable n open to him nd he knows real riddhima is not way too far. He needs to break her shell. Nd he will surely. "riddhimaa.." he started slowly nd at once she opened her eyes looking at him wth all her love.. his hand tightened against her waist.. it was becoming too painful. He closed his eyes for a few seconds nd then opening them slowly he mustered a small smile.. "I love u so much." Nd bang! He hit the right chord. Her whole body becomes tensed, face paled nd she stared at him blankly. Nd within a minute she was on her feet far away from his bed all tensed nd disturbed.
"rid... riddhima.." he got up nd sat on his bed looking at her painfully. Well.. indeed he wanted this to happen. He wanted her to realize before it was too late. he knew the very moment he utters those three powerful words her trance will break. she can handle all but this.. may be no one in this world shows this much of impactful response hearing a simple ILU like she does but it was natural from her side too.. the girl who all her life till now craved nothing but for love but in return got only accusations, guilt and hatred, will be shaken to the core wen someone will claim his love for her, she'll pale when life started challenging her to choose between love n death, she'll become blank when welcoming love started seeming selfishness to her. nd that exactly the case of riddhima. she's too deprived of love to miss the necessity of it in life.
He sighed. his mission for now is fulfilled but it pained, it pained him too much. The way she hurriedly backed off nd went n stood far away from him did nothing but scarred his heart. he turned his gaze away from her nd closing his eyes painfully, wished earnestly so that their torture ends soon.
Riddhima stood near the window all lost nd shaken. it took a few minutes till her heart beats became controlled nd then she started without turning back to his direction.. "armaan.." her voice was nothing but a mere whisper too inaudible yet audible only for him. and at once he knew she needed him.. her voice was slow yet vulnerable, soft yet yelling for his attention, weak yet too strong to twitch his heart slowly n painfully and within seconds he was standing just behind her though not touching yet close enough to embrace her protectively if another break down occurs next moment. dunno why but his heart was signalling him that she might break down any moment soon.
"I'm sorry.." she again started whole heartedly making him confused to the core.
"I know I'm being horrible.. one moment I let u come close to me n next momnt I behave as if we never met.." she paused nd his eyes widened. No! he didn't want this. He didn't want her to feel sorry.. he couldn't afford her blaming herself. She's at no fault. He has to make her understand. But before he can say anything or do anything she turned teary eyed.. "I know it's too difficult for u but plz stay away from me, armaan.. trust me u don't know anything.. even if u guessed there is something wrong in my past still ur intuition can never match the brutality of my life.. u don't know but I can be ur real death nd I cnt afford dat.. for god's sake armaan plz don't come close to me.. if u actually love me then plz.. plz stay away from me.." nd with that a tear drop fell from her beautiful eye.
Nd that made him horrified. He has seen her fight, seen her being rude n arrogant, seen her vulnerable too but never till now he found her this shaken n teary nd without knowing wat else he should do, he engulfed her tightly against him next moment. Now how can he make her understand that he knows her past. he knows wat she have faced till now and that is the reason he loves her even more nd will keep loving her no matter wat.. he will actually prefer dying rather leaving her alone n lost.
"riddhima.. aisa kuch nhi hoga.. trust me.." he tried to erase her insecurities but his words just wounded her more forcing her to cry her heart out. he knows nothing! oh armaan.. u dont know anything!
"riddhima.. baby.. don't cry plz.. u r hurting me.." he declared honestly nd next moment she hugged him tight breaking down completely.. "u don't know how it feels to push life away, armaan.. u don't know how torturous it turns to choose between life n death.. u don't know how suffocating it is to live with the guilt of ur love's death.. u don't know the cruelty of life armaan nd I wish dat u never need to know.. but I m alrdy too burdened with so much deaths n destruction, ek aur nhi seh payungi main.. khas kar ke uss insaan ka joh mujhey mujh sey zyada janne laga ho.. tum chah ne lage ho mujhey armaan aur yeh sabse badi galti hai tumhari.. mana tum mere liye kuch bhi kar sakte ho par ek bar socha hai tumhare parents ka kya hoga jab unhe tum miloge behos.. tadap ta huya.. khoon se bheege huye.." nd she trembled vigorously reliving her dreaded past all over again.. "mujhey pata hai armaan.. mainey jiya hai yeh sab.. mainey ek ma se unka beta china hai.. main.. main.." nd she became hysterical.. "history can't repeat itself again.. I wont allow it to hurt u.. tum bahot acche ho armaan.. tumhe kuch nhi hone dungi main.. main aman ko nhi bacha paye par tumhe.. tumhe kuch nhi hone dungi.. main.. tum.. armaan.." nd with this she collapsed in his arms wrenching his heart slowly nd ruthlessly. His eyes welled up,his heart bled, his every nerve pained feeling her this vulnerable against him. Till now he knew her sufferings nd guessed how torturous it could be for her to live such a suffocating life but today he actually lived her sufferings.. her each word, her each shiver, her each heavy breathe was equally accompanied by his.. he felt how it feels to live being so burdened n all alone, how it feels to be accused for the crime u never did, how it feels wen death becomes so dearer than life.. "oh riddhima.." he hugged her safely nd placed a kiss of promise n security over her forehead nd then gently yet securely he took her senseless body in his arms nd walked near his bed again.. today was so stressing nd don't know why but he still feels there's still lots to happen today.
_______________to be continued_____________
@ Rihoo Haws - diduu... i kept my promise.. yeayyy.. pata hai i never struggled this much to write a part.. but i'm happy at least i wrote a good enough length within ur deadline..😃 luv u dii.. t.c..❤️
@ to all my readers - sorry for this late friends! but i'll be back soon.. till then t.c n stay happy.. luv ya.. 🤗
Cricket
CID
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