Submerged! - ArShi FF:New note P.No 132

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SarunNArshi

@SarunNArshi

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#231

Originally posted by: InspiredSoul

SarunNArshi ❤️ - you liked the twist!
Alga update - next week Wednesday!
But the wait will be worth it, I promise - excitement and fun coming up - hope you like it!

- IS

Eagerly waiting for the next chapter.I never read stories which are ongoing.I read only completed stories.But ur story is just awesome.Even it is not completed I am ready to wait for the next update.

Ur writing is just awesome.Keep Going!!!👏👏

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arnshi

@arnshi

Inactive

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#232

awesome parts...just caught up now...amazing

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gangsu

@gangsu

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#233

awsm 😊
shyam is truly dangerous

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Horizon

@Horizon

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#234

Apologies IS, didn't get a chance to be here until now.

So our hero is officially unveiled... there is no hide and seek any more ..😊Gripping maintenance of the suspense...

Crisp narration of the family, and brothers dynamics reminding the mythological quartet from eras ago, great attention to the finest detail of how he handled that entire Dhruv landing in Lucknow to how he reached there as well..

Khushi is so very much in elements that she is literally in front of our eyes while reading..

Thanks for making the handsome walking, talking man come alive from the patient...😊

Looking forward to this great story progress IS..

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Varsha Dutt

@varsha2KD

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#235

wow... thats a pleasant twist.. its not Dhruv but Arnav... 😲

superb update 👏

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Mehreen

@Motif_Soul

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#236

Nice turn😊

So it was Arnav all along and he is creating some serious acidity in Khushi but love the part that they are working together.Lets see how Shyam gets his dues paid...

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733619

Hibernated

Posted: 11 years ago

#237

Great story. Looking forward to reading more

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Ipoona

@Ipoona

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#238

Inspired, first of all apologies for such a delay in posting my comments. I had a deadline for this Friday. Done ! So am relaxed and doing stuff I'd rather be doing ... Your story is gripping. The flow smooth but the best part for me is the character development ... What can say ASR more than his exchange with Aman ... Loved it ... It is little side details like the executive assistant exchange that gives us a peek into who this man is ... His hands on approach to handling his family's security ... His dialogues you kept short, crisp and assertive. And then of course his reaction to our girl. And you have given us a Khushi who is so easy so see. Her longwinded chatter ... Her colors ... Her happy cheery personality ...

Your descriptive writing ... Makes me see the scene in my head clearly ... The dilapidated yellow building ... The cold eyes of Shaym ... The slither of the IV ... Her Gota and chamk ... Peaches and porcelain ... Her unnecessarily longwinded chatter to his quite questioning ... Inspired ... As always your skeletal work, the plot is superb. But the the best of plots can dry up with sloppy writing... You have laid out an intriguing concept in a smooth, flowing vacoublary ... Kudos my friend !

Last but not least ... The poems ... All of them, so cleverly chosen ... They fit the bill perfectly ... Left wondering if it was the poems that inspired you to take a particular course through the telling of the story or was it later you searched and found a piece that said what you felt ... Have I confused you ? All in all...hooked ... Can't wait for these two to make their escape ... Waiting fir next week ... Hugs

Edited by Ipoona - 11 years ago