AA-CC Challenge OS on Rey: Miscalculation

anki_22 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#1
Hello everyone..😊 So Anky Dii (_SenbonZakura_) and Kash (Couch_Potato)had given a challenge. And that was I have to write on: "Rey is a socially awkward, nerd, geek, comic book and game addict. He usually gets bullied around and hides behind his glasses. He is staring at his secret crush in the library, who is a girl (no need to name her) that is a bully. a complete tomboy and a bully with green hair."

So, yes, here goes nothing...😃
*fingures crossed*
________________________________________________________________________


He just can't help but to stare at her...


It's annoying, it's frustrating how he is completely ignoring the latest thesis on Astrophysics, he is supposed to present some kind of demonstration on how it is important that students should, gosh she has some curves...


Rey pressed the book on his face...


Excellent, he is more concentrated on her curves rather than the huge telescope staring back at him on the magazine. What the hell is he doing, he can't have crush on a girl like her. Boys like him don't get to fantasize girls like her. He must have been out of his mind to even imagine in his wildest dream that, she looks cute.


The fact can't be denied though, that she is cute. She has those large dark eyes and sexy curves, which she never fails to display. Those luscious full lips, which, well, never states any sweet words. That small chin, those delicate looking arms and that hideous green hair. Yeah well, Rey can't actually digest that hair. It's all right not to like everything about your crush, right? Besides, even though she is super gorgeous, she is also the leader of the gang of bullies.


She's a self-proclaimed uber bitch...


That's what guys like him says about her, that's what he should also think about her. But what can he do, he can't bring himself to do that. Ignoring every vicious warning given by his science-club buddies, he can't stop looking for her everyday.


Even though she and her gang make fun of his clothes everyday, his glasses, his oiled hair, everything is a regular joke for them, even though he pleads to God every morning not to make them see him, even though he is good at making himself invisible to the entire cool crowd every day, he also prays that he can steal glances at her everyday, atleast for once. And surprisingly, his eyes did find her, sometimes sweating herself out in the basket-ball court, or may be playing her mouth organ in the cafeteria. She has always been the pied-piper of the gang, even though she never speaks much. But he does his daily dose of admiring her in the library. When he does his routine self-studies and she comes alone, to sit in one corner of the library, un-noticed and un-disturbed by her followers and write.


And just like that one day he saw her, taking her own jacket off and tuck a stray puppy in it.


His well-developed wise and intelligent brain-cells still couldn't find out the reason how she can be all intimidating for human beings but so considerate towards stray pups.


Logically he is supposed to loath the girl who made his first day traumatizing.


He remembered his first day very well. He was new, he was terrified with those entire cool crowds and their too-revealing clothing and he was also excited for his first day. But all of his enthusiasm went into gutter when he fell into the clutches of the senior gang. Jibes, mockery, yes he took it all, but when their comments went to his Uncharted' stickers on his bag, he just couldn't stay quiet.

"Hey freak show, where did u shop from? 18th century?"..."aww, look at his glasses, is it attached to your face?"..."look, those stickers, are they yours? You into games? Look this kid is from virtual world!"..."do you do everything virtually kid?"

"Drake's fortune is not a kids' game"... that's all he could manage to mumble out, while trying to control his sudden urge to puke!

And that's when she moved in front. She wasn't speaking a word while her minions were busy making fun of the freshers. But Rey's words clearly weren't likeable for her taste.


"Did you speak up to them?"...her voice was poisonously sweet. Rey couldn't look up, he was terrified by the mere voice! He didn't have the courage to face the owner of it...


"YOU DON'T GET TO SPEAK UP!" a shrill scold from that voice again and he dropped his books and bag, trembling, scared. All of the senior gang walked away laughing and that day the only thing he could manage to catch glance once was her large, cold, dark eyes, partially visible through her short green hair and hoody.


Rey exhales out his depression on falling for his bully. She is inserting another chewing gum in her mouth. How many does she chew every day? Chewing gums are injurious to health, it causes unnecessary wear and tear of the cartilage that acts as a shock absorber in your jaw joints. Should he go and tell her that? Auggh, stop it Rey. Are you out of your mind? Don't you have enough problems to face already? Why are things always so difficult for him? He gets trouble in making friends, he gets trouble blending in. He doesn't get why people make fun of his clothes, they are normal right? Fade jeans and single-colour T-shirts? What can he do if he has the time to properly comb his hair, without making them look like an aerie? Or what can he do about his poor eye-sight? People and their complains! Books had always been his constant companion, they never judge him by his cover. Virtual world was always better, they don't get to make fun of how he looks.


He was sure earthly human will never attract his attention, they are not even worth it. But that lanky girl in six-pocket cargo pants and crop tops, with a front open hoody, how could she be more alluring than any of the virtual women? And BAM! Now he fell for his senior bully? Is he turning into a sadist? Oh no no no, he doesn't want that. He already heard enough of remarks on being a nerd, a geek, a gamer. Now sadist? It will be too much... but well, it's not totally weird, right? There's this thing called Stockholm syndrome, that falling in love with your enemy or captors. But it's not like she's actually his enemy- ...


"You know you are gawking at me, right?"


That venom-filled voice, that sweet poison. Oh damn freaking god... when did she closed the distance between them? With narrowed eyes she is leaning over him. That same cold gaze. How did she notice him, he was doing an excellent job in being invisible right? Gosh she is close. Too close, too close, he can even see her cleavage. Stop it Rey, stop it stop it! This is wrong. Every woman is part of Devi Maa! Don't look, don't look!


"You don't get to stare, understand?" She hissed again, getting irritated by his lack of words and number of gulps.


"Do you have the power of tongue?"


Rey's throat felt dry, words can't form in his brain, an intoxicating aroma surrounding her, what's her perfume? He can't breathe. He soo needs an inhaler right now.

She is getting impatient in each passing second as he continued to gap at her, without uttering a single word. Her irked hands now snatched the thick spectacles away from his eyes and his world blurred out completely.


He wasn't sure if he heard a gasp or not but all he could manage was a desperate pleading in his chocked voice,


"Please give them back. I can't see." He wasn't faking; he certainly couldn't see his green haired dream girl's eyes widening with shock. Rey was at the verge of crying as his hands couldn't find his only way of not getting almost visually impaired.


"Get lenses kiddo!"


And he found his specs on his hands. When he managed to come back to the visual world again, she had left already. Rey sat there dumbfounded. Did she actually come to talk with him? Him? Should he feel happy or threatened? With just one one-sided conversation, his knees were gone weak. He replayed the incident in his mind. Okay! So he can't speak, he can't stare. Isn't he allowed to look at his crush secretly? Great, isn't India an independent country? Where are his human rights again?


Ohh right, it's college life afterall...


And lenses are certainly a good idea...

___________________________________________________________________________

So, how was it?? good?? bad?? ugly..?? Please read and give your comments.. preferably LONG one..😆


ANd btw, I've decided to transform this OS into a SS... so here's the link: Do give a read after reading this..😊

MISCALCULATION
Edited by anki_22 - 11 years ago

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Mystique.Kishi thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#2
Dekho mai aa gayi...Dekho mai aa gayi...FIRST PLACE

RES!!!!!!!!

ARE YOU NOT PROUD OF ME ANKI SHONA????

Unresed...
It was a part of our hazing and I couldn't help but notice you copied and pasted the exact words written by Anks.

You know when Anks gave you that challenge, I thought it is impossible. I mean in all my time of being a D3 viewer, I could never in my wildest dreams imagine Rey as a nerd. And I really thought that the OS will not make sense to me. But surprise!!! Surprise!!! You made me eat my words, or rather thoughts.

I loved it Anki shona. I could so imagine this happening. Well, imagining Kria as a bitch was not hard since bitchy Kria was a part of lot of my daydreams. But I could see Rey as well.

"Chewing gums are injurious to health, it causes unnecessary wear and tear of the cartilage that acts as a shock absorber in your jaw joints."

is that true???? please tell me its not!!!!! i love my chewing gums and can't bear to part with them.😭

"Do you have the power of tongue?"

This line fit in okay with the story. But can you imagine the reaction if this was said out of context???? And my dirty mind conjured all sorts of images🤣 Power of tongue, oh yeah. Bring it on🤣

there were just so many ROFL moments in here. Especially this one
every woman is a part of devi ma🤣

I just loved it and the ending was perfect. And rey is right, you know???? India is an independent country. We have the freedom to gawk at any hottie we want. Can you imagine our plight if that right was taken away from us.

ANKY! KASH! I am not putting anything up. This OS have made me apprehensive and I am very young. Don't want to die of embarassment yet...Soo no OS!!!!!

loads of love,
Kishi

Edited by Mystique.Kishi - 11 years ago
_SenbonZakura_ thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#3
Mai isse padhte waqt aisa khekhe kar ke hans rahi thi aur bus mei sab mujhe ghoor rahe the! 😆
Iske liye tune kitna research kia re?

The chewing gum thingie!! And the game Drake's fortune!

Amazing this was.. When I had given the challenge, I had never thought you'd present something this amazing!


You know what, this Kria reminds me of me! :P Except the green hair obviously.. But there was a time I made guys like Rey shiver! This was such a bliss to read because of that!

The "you don't get to speak!" was for me, tashan personified!


Woot Woot!!
Edited by _SenbonZakura_ - 11 years ago
agirlhasnoname. thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#4
:O Apun ke CC ka Challenge. 8|

Resss




OMGGG

ANKII 🤗 This OS!! THIS OS WAS...Hufff.. I have no words left. How did u managed to write it SO well? ^________^

And And.. That Devi Maa part 🤣 🤣 Aise ideas kahan se aate hai tumhe? ^__________^ xD


I SOOO Loved This Kriya! :* :*
Dammit! 🤗
A fab OS Anki! :*
Edited by Incandescence. - 11 years ago
sharif_lafungi thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#5
Res
Ps: kishi baby...let me kill u plz
M back...
U know what anki...i already love u so much..bt after this...i will say i admire you so much...the character reyaansh singhaniya is such an influental one designed by cvs...that imaging him unpopular is next to impossible...bt u did it...without flaws...nothing as less nd certsinly nothing could be added...rey the grt reyaansh singhania is a nerd..a geek with glasses nf oily hair coz he hv time to comb...
He was bullied by seniors...as if it wasnt enough..he silently admired the head of the bully group...i so loved this bitchy kriya...spcly her dressing sense...cargo with 7 pockets nd tee..(i personally love this attire)...care free bitch..arrogant mean ruthless nd what not...bt dis time i really dont wanna talk about her...i just wanna continue with rey nd go on...
Oh my my...i want to see him rite now so that i can hug the poor soul...kya torture jhela bande ne...if i wud hv been rey...ab tk to clg change kr liya hota...
Lets start ftom the start...i dont to miss even a single bit of it
"Excellent, he is more concentrated on her curves rather than the huge telescope staring back at him on the magazine. What the hell is he doing, he can't have crush on a girl like her. Boys like him don't get to fantasize girls like her. He must have been out of his mind to even imagine in his wildest dream that, she looks cute."...
I lovef his debate with him self...the reasons he was giving to himself...dat he shud nt hv a crudh on her bt still he have...i was like "my poor baby..kitni duvidha me fas gaya..."...u did a brilliant job here
"Even though she and her gang make fun of his clothes everyday, his glasses, his oiled hair, everything is a regular joke for them, even though he pleads to God every morning not to make them see him, even though he is good at making himself invisible to the entire cool crowd every day, he also prays that he can steal glances at her everyday"...
He knew...he is well aware dat he is a sort of entertainment to them nd nothing else...his existence dsnt matters yo them...still he stares at her secretly...i mean guts hain bande me...
That jacket wrapping incident with the stray dog..!!!...he got to know her bit sensitive side
"His well-developed wise and intelligent brain-cells still couldn't find out the reason how she can be all intimidating for human beings but so considerate towards stray pups."...this line man...kya observation hsi iski...definitely not a physical attraction...moreover ludty mind wo bi ye rey ka.??? 😲 ...me mar jaungi... 😆 😆 😆
Again...wen on the very 1dt day..he was ragged...his reactions were like "o m g"...his defending himself dat drake's fortune is not kid's game...nd then his reaction to my bitch's shout...books nd bag kissing the ground nd my lad trembling nd scaref to hell...again i jst wanted to wrap him in my arms nd curse dat ruthless monster for making him scared...my poor rey...
Nd then his concern..(i really font wanna quote bt zaruri tha)...
"She is inserting another chewing gum in her mouth. How many does she chew every day? Chewing gums are injurious to health, it causes unnecessary wear and tear of the cartilage that acts as a shock absorber in your jaw joints. Should he go and tell her that?"...
Again i was going gaga over him...he is so much concerned for her...i bet he wont nd he cant smoke ever...he was thunking of stopping her from chewing dat gum...great
"Why are things always so difficult for him? He gets trouble in making friends, he gets trouble blending in. He doesn't get why people make fun of his clothes, they are normal right? Fade jeans and single-colour T-shirts? What can he do if he has the time to properly comb his hair, without making them look like an aerie? Or what can he do about his poor eye-sight? People and their complains! "...
Again i wanted to console him badly dat he is perfect nd these ppl r blind...
U showed him so innocent here...
He dont wanna turn into a sadist...well who wants to be...
Nd wen she caught him gawking at her...situation after dat was...umm..shortage of words...
"Do you have the power of tongue?"...
I was like..."pls let me use it in another sense plz plz..."...bt let it be...
Nd yhen the punch...
"Every woman is part of Devi Maa!"...u wont believr i was in bus nd suddenly i laughed dat my frnd freaked out there only...cudnt control u see...part of devi maa...like really.. .
I hated you at this particular para...the vulnerable rey here was getting on my nerves...i was like how csn she do this...
"Her irked hands now snatched the thick spectacles away from his eyes and his world blurred out completely.

He wasn't sure if he heard a gasp or not but all he could manage was a desperate pleading in his chocked voice,

"Please give them back. I can't see." He wasn't faking; he certainly couldn't see his green haired dream girl's eyes widening with shock. Rey was at the verge of crying as his hands couldn't find his only way of not getting almost visually impaire"...
I truly hated kriya with all my heart for troubling him...his crying his delicacy...i fell for him...he was almost crying coz he wasnt able to see without his glasses...
Plz bring him to me somebody...
Nd then she asked him ro get lenses kiddo...i was like kiddo...!???? Seriously...!!!!!...
His thoughts upon lens idea made me sure that rey is gonna transform to some slight chabges...
Coming to u anki...u r wonderful writer yar...god bless u...
U portrayed this nerdy boy as reyaansh singhaniya perfectly nd i can proudly say dat no one can do justice with the concept the way u did...
I actually visualised evry bit of it...u made me forget who actual reyaansh singhaniya is...nd wen a writer is successful in doing so...then i can say he succeeded...nd u did my doll...u did...
I truly love you after this... 🤗
Edited by akankshaArsha - 11 years ago
kriapatel thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#6
Supab os
love it
haaye os was so amazing
plz give its second part also
Couch_Potato thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#7
res. 😉

(Anki ka favourite word!)

unres.

Issi saal, issi week, issi din - can you imagine fatafati? I know I'm shocked too!

Okay first of all, a round of applause. You have managed to achieve the impossible with this OS. I don't think anyone could imagine hotshot!hottie!Rey as a geeky nerd but you actually pulled it off!

Also you know how you want your Swayam from your other fic? I want this Kria. She is my dream girl as well, not just Rey's! I love her. I absolutely love her and you have to know that's an achievement because I generally don't like Kria much but here she is amazing. I want one too!

I loved her small nuances. She wasn't just a bully though, she is a mystery. A puzzle and I can totally see why she would confused the I-have-all-the-answers!geeky!Rey. I can understand his attraction and it's not merely physical and that came across so well.

I also love how you just subtly put in this slight implication that perhaps Kria isn't completely blind to him. And her gasp when she sees his eyes for the first time? *sigh*

The ending was soo awesome and open-ended. Maybe Rey will change thoda thoda, find his voice (he definitely has a distinct personality) and two years later, blooms into a confident young man who can counter the girl he sees behind the tomboy? One can hope.

Anyways I love this and I loved Rey's voice and he's funny in his simplicity. I adored him but I LOVE KRIA. Please give me this Kria!

I adore Anky for giving you the challenge and I love you for having giving me this Kria. Thanks fatafati!

Keep writing hamesha.
Edited by Couch_Potato - 11 years ago
-spongy- thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#8

the OS was fantastic
it was so amazing and i loved reading it
totally worth it.
please give the second part to 😃
tinatartari thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#9
this ws superb..
bt this shudnt be an OS...it shud be TS nd u shud bring them 2gether somehw..nd pm me the update...
i loved it ttly...
plx write the 2nd part,,,eithr make it SS or FF???
this story has a great potential,m tellng u :)
Lovelylavender thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#10
Heyy anki!!
This is like awww!!
Its just soo amazin!!
First of all i luvd the way u portrayed the concept!! 👏
I jus luvd every dialogue..
The highlights wer u dont get to speak up! Chewing gum part was so fun!!
Kriya was so considerate abt puppy :)
I luvd d devi ma dialogue a lottt 🤣
and last wala kria gasped and widened her eyes.. Hmmm niceee..
U know u can use this point as a gr8 part ahead !
I jus lovd it to the core!!! It was just sooo awesome!!!!
Plzzzs its a request ! Continue it!!
Ts ss ff.. Wateva!! Jus continue plzzz..
I jus luvd it as it ws luvly and wud luv to read more on it!! Lol!!

Luv
Shanaya :)

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